


I Don't Want A Conversation, I Just Wanna Sit and Stare at You

by Sam_Haine



Category: Stranger Things (TV 2016)
Genre: Abuse, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Billy angst as well, Drinking, Drugs, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fast Cars, Fluff and Angst, Love, M/M, Pain, Partying, Smoking, Smut, Steve!Angst, Swearing, Teenage Drama, a lot of Steve angst
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-11-15
Updated: 2018-01-16
Packaged: 2019-02-02 22:47:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 19
Words: 97,966
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12735852
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sam_Haine/pseuds/Sam_Haine
Summary: Billy Hargrove is an enigma, wrapped inside a riddle, wrapped inside a taco. Steve Harrington just doesn't get him. Until he does. And well, Billy's warming up to Steve, but he's never played with feelings made of fire before.





	1. Dealing With A Heart I Didn't Break

**Author's Note:**

> Ah, my first Stranger Things fic. I feel honoured to even be writing this stuff. Anyway, enjoy guys! xoxo Sam_Haine

Dealing With A Heart I Didn't Break

Not for the first or even second time that day, Billy Hargrove felt someone's eyes staring lasers into the back of his head. He took a long drag on his almost burnt out cigarette before dropping it on the ground and stomping it out. A smooth billow of nicotine-saturated smoke from his nostrils wisped in the air around him as he strutted a few feet away from his car in the school's parking lot to where Steve Harrington's car was parked. Hawkins' golden boy was leaned up against his own car, ray bans on as he noticed Billy approaching. 

"Got a problem Hargrove?" He asked smoothly.

"Yeah, I do. You keep staring at me." Billy replied, just as smooth. 

Steve chuckled in that typical asshole, jock way as he moved to take off his shades.  
"No I wasn't." 

Billy chuckled along with him, as if they both found the conversation dryly amusing. He flicked his tongue out like he always did, blue eyes staring straight into Steve.  
"Yeah actually, you were." 

Steve shook his head as if in denial, looking away from Billy and instead pretending to look for Dustin. He was his ride home.

After all the events of the last month or so, fighting demodogs and babysitting the kids, he'd grown pretty close to them, Dustin most of all. The kid was an absolute gem and Steve felt that it was his duty to protect him and teach him all the things he needed to know, since the obvious lack of a father figure or even a brother had denied Dustin of those experiences. 

"Hey -I'm talking to you Harrington." Billy was back again, snapping his fingers in Steve's face. He slapped the pesky hand away and glared at the boy. 

"What Billy?" He groused, shoving his hands into his pockets. "I wasn't staring." 

"Bullshit." Billy scoffed and Steve immediately winced at the word. The broken memory of Nancy came to him again for the first time since closing the gates and suddenly he wasn't doing so well again. He had no doubt that she would always be a sore spot for him. And no matter how hard he'd tried, the thought of her with Jonathan Byers still made him want to rip his heart out.

"Dude, I don't know what your problem is, but I wasn't staring at you. I've got better things to do." He muttered out irritatedly. Seriously, Billy was either gonna have to kick his ass, if he was looking for a fight; or leave him the hell alone if he wasn't. There was no other way with Hargrove. And he had been staring; it was just that he'd quicker die than admit that to the conceited son of a bitch. 

Billy let out a scathing laugh that was just "Billy". Steve didn't know how to describe it but that's how he saw it. The guy was so put together and sure of himsef. Steve envied that kind of control, much more than he'd like to admit. But ever since his shattering break up with the one person he felt was out of his league, Steve wasn't sure about anything anymore. And Hargrove's confidence and cockiness just drew him in like a moth to a flame. 

"Alright fine. I'll give you the benefit of the doubt here. But next time I catch you looking at me, I'll kick your ass. I'm not into that queer shit, you hear me? And if this is about our little fight last month, forget about it." 

"This isn't about that you idiot. I wasn't even staring at you!" Steve fretted exasperatedly.  
"And I've already forgotten about that fight. It wasn't me who kicked your ass. That was all Max." He couldn't find it in his heart to snicker at that part; Billy's little not-sister had totally set Billy straight but Steve wasn't that much of a dick to laugh about it. 

Billy growled at him but then let it go, pulling out another cigarette as he noticed Max skating her way out of school, Lucas on his bike at her side.  
"So you gonna get shitfaced at Tommy's party tonight or what?" 

"I wasn't planning on going." Steve answered, his voice contemplative. Life had changed for him so much, he wasn't sure if he was the same guy who would even go to that house party later. The mindless chatter and existence made him queasy now.  
"Have a drink for me." He said with finality as he saw Dustin quickly approaching them. 

Billy nodded before walking back coolly across the parking lot, Max waiting impatiently by his blue Camaro. 

..........  
Tommy's party ended up being a total shitfest, which was a good thing. Billy did his second keg stand for the night and now he was drinking beer while somehow simultaneously making out with some bitch. He didn't know her name, didn't really care. The plan was to get completely smashed and forget about his Dad smacking him a couple times earlier that evening. He'd gotten a busted lip because of it -okay so maybe it wasn't a smack, but an actual hard-fisted punch. Yeah, Neil Hargrove was an asshole. 

Sheila or Chloe or whatever her name was leaning heavily against him now, too drunk to properly make out with him and she was all sloppy movements. Sighing, disgusted with the drunk cow, he got up and left her to her own. Bitches were so easy and dumb in this town, couldn't even hold their alcohol. He grabbed another beer before escaping the crowded house, finding solace in the relatively tame backyard. A few people were making out by the pool and didn't even notice he was there. Good. 

The cigarette was barely out of his pocket before he heard a loud crash and drunken shrieks of amusement. Billy was up off the lounge chair and inside the house in a split second, the possibility of a fight getting him excited. Pushing past the crowd of sweaty bodies he saw none other than Steve Harrington in the middle of the crowd, lying on the floor, totally shitfaced and beside himself. Broken pieces of a shattered punch bowl decorated the floor around him, shards and splinters pressing tiny red cuts into his skin as he drunkenly slid on the tiles, trying to get up. Everyone got their kicks out of the situation, their mouths split wide open laughing at the once royal King Steve, now turned clown of Hawkins High. 

Billy at first found it highly amusing, chuckling quietly to himself while the rest of them roared with laughter. Why shouldn't he capitalize on this golden moment to finally issue the last blow to end King Steve's mythical reputation? This was a once in a lifetime opportunity for him, to completely destroy the guy, make him puke his way into total obscurity that no one would even remember that they'd once hailed him King. This was what Billy always wanted; to dethrone the high and mighty Steve Harrington. So why wasn't he seizing the moment? 

Maybe it was because Steve was facedown on the slippery tiled floor, scrabbling in a pile of glass, literal shards of failure and regret and hurt stabbing into him as he tried to get up. One too many drinks could fuck with anyone. Bad. Throw in a devastating heartbreak and that was bound to create a concoction of pure disaster. Nancy Wheeler was supposed to be at this party too, but when he looked around there was no sign of her. Byers was MIA as well. Geez, didn't Harrington have friends in this place? 

Against every instinct of the asshole side of Billy, the tiny part of him that had a shred of human decency grabbed Harrington by the arm and dragged him out of the useless crowd. It proved to be a task as the guy was mostly just deadweight by the time they got to Billy's car. He was whimpering in pain from the splinters that were probably sticking him everywhere. His fancy black blazer was soaked in punch that had him smelling like a liquor store. Or a moonshiner. What the hell did they put in the punch? And his hair was deflated, its usual voluminous beauty just dead, drooping into his eyes now. He leaned dejectedly against the passenger side of Billy's car, a low growl in his throat. 

"If you puke on my car you're a dead man Harrington." Billy muttered pulling off Steve's glass riddled jacket and dumping it in his trunk. He assessed the damage, noting minor cuts and scratches, mostly to his hands and his face. His lip was cut in almost the identical place as Billy's lip was split and blood dripped down it all vampire-like. His cheek was bruised but other than that, he seemed okay. Billy grabbed his hands and dusted off the splinters as best he could, while Steve remained a quiet mumbling mess. 

"Can't hear you man. God, you're so smashed." Billy chuckled despite himself, slapping Steve's cheek gently. That got a response as he yanked his face away from the offending hand, annoyed. He grunted as he tried taking a step, turning away from Billy to cross the road back to Tommy's house. Billy quickly grabbed him by the shoulders, steering him back to his car, amused. 

"Hey! Harring- Stop that!" He growled as Steve began to make grabby hands at his hair. He slapped the bleeding hands away, securing them by the wrists as he opened the door to pour Steve into the passengers side of his car before getting into the driver's side. He contemplated the situation for a second, frowning at Steve who was now staring out the window, oddly quiet. Should he just find Nancy and leave him in her capable hands? No, that would be dumb. They weren't together anymore. Sighing he tapped out a beat on the wheel before starting up his car.

"Where to Harrington?" 

There was a soft incoherent grunt from the passenger's side and he could see Steve leaning heavily against the window. God, Billy thought the girls were bad at holding their liquor but apparently Steve Harrington beat them all. He prodded him in the ribs impatiently.

"C'mon pretty boy, where do you live?" He then proceeded to berate himself for the stupidity of his own question. Harrington probably couldn't even remember his own name at the moment, much less for his address. 

"No." 

"What?" Billy was surprised; that was the first time Harrington said anything since he'd dragged him out of the party. 

"No. M'not ...I don't wanna go home." He slurred, curling in on himself.

Billy rolled his eyes. "Fine." 

He couldn't take the guy back to his place, Neil would kill them both. Besides, Billy hadn't actually planned on going home that night after Neil pummeled the crap out of him. Sighing he decided to drive up to the quarry. There was a little secluded spot near the quarry that was forested and hardly anyone ever went up there. They could rest easy for the night without any disturbances. 

.........  
The full moon shed a frosty glitter over the trees, speckling the forest floor with silver light under the canopy. An hour had passed since Billy had shut off the engine of his car with Steve Harrington passed out in the passenger side. He was currently smoking his last cigarette whilst taking in the view of the vast body of water below. A chilly breeze ruffled his hair, tickling the back of his neck, making him feel some sense of peace. He didn't feel cold, he had the cigarette smoke to warm his insides. But there was definitely an absence of heat that made him feel oddly weightless. He supposed the feeling was akin to the early silent hours of a breaking dawn. Peaceful and serene. 

Its a feeling he hasn't had in a while and for a moment he appreciates the nostalgia. He doesn't feel angry at the world in this moment. He doesn't hate Max with that terrifying passion and hell, he doesn't even feel anything about Neil. Just peaceful indifference. He figures in a way, he has Steve to thank for that. The drunk fucker won't ever hear him admit that but it's the truth. He had originally planned on crashing at Tommy's after the party was over, but now that idea just seemed dumb. Why stay in that drunken, claustrophobic mess when he could find a solid peace of mind here? 

Flicking his burnt out cigarette to the ground he walked back to his car and got in. Even though he wasn't as shitfaced as Harrington, some shut eye sounded nice. 

"Why'd you do it?" 

Shit.

"Welcome back Harrington." He quipped, reclining his seat back in a more comfortable position to sleep. He settled with his back against the window, his knees knocking Steve's.  
"Do what?"

"P...pick me up. I mm....mean ..." Steve began, his voice lacking its slur, now just a bunch of strained, choppy words. 

Billy stared at him with hooded eyes, his head back against the window.  
"You're drunk man. Get some sleep." He huffed, closing his eyes. 

Steve chuckled and sort of snorted, typical drunk behaviour. "I know ....m' drunk." Billy rolled his eyes. 

"S...still haven't answered. Billy." 

Billy's eyes opened at that. Harrington had never called him by his first name before. He must've been really messed up. 

"What happened to you? I thought you said you weren't going to go to that party." 

Steve snickered pathetically, shaking his head still staring out the window. "I ...I thought ....I.." He began but ended up just slurring together a bunch of pronouns. Billy chuckled tiredly. 

"Okay man, I get it. Go to sleep." 

"I thought I'd have a chance." Steve suddenly said with a weird surety that had Billy opening his eyes again. Steve suddenly looked smaller than ever, curled in on himself, huddled into the furthest corner of the passenger's side, his cheek pressed against the window. He looked the definition of dejection and melancholy. 

"What?" Billy heard himself ask and a voice in his head screamed opposition. Why did he care? He could've easily just pretended to be asleep. 

"I saw her."

The silence allotted to him was probably to realise that Steve was talking about Nancy Wheeler. He sighed as Steve spoke again. 

"I ..s..saw her n'she was with ...Byers. Fuckin' Freak Byers ...with'er arms around'im. Tried talkin' ...but ...no, he's not a freak. Not anymore. Fuck." His voice sounded oddly weak to Billy at this point, who was slowly losing interest with this whole love triangle Steve had inserted himself into. He got rejected at times back in Cali by girls way hotter than Nancy but he never once got emotional about it. Then again, Billy was a cold and unfeeling creature. He could care less if he got dumped, although it was usually the other way around with him. Steve on the other hand, appeared to be much more fragile when it came to relationships.

"Just gotta let it go man. No bitch is worth pining over." He heard himself say. It sounded oddly poetic. 

Steve forced a laugh at that. "I just ...thought m..maybe I meant more to her." He sighed softly, not looking Billy in the eye but turning to stare in his general direction. And that's when Billy saw the tears. 

There weren't many times where Billy Hargrove found himself at a loss for words or was rendered visibly uncomfortable in front of someone else. Apparently tonight was the exception. He honestly just wanted to get some shut eye and not think about anything in particular; and somehow his plans had changed drastically, and now he was forced to deal with an emotional Steve Harrington. He sat there, stock still as Steve cried his eyes out, both hands covering his face, silent sobs wracking through his body. 

"C' mon Harrington, don't do this to yourself man." He tried, observing silently while Steve's shoulders shook. In truth, he actually meant don't let me see you like this, because Billy preferred seeing his nemesis as a strong, badass dick who didn't give a crap about anything. It was easier to have a rivalry with someone he didn't feel sympathy for. 

"I'm sorry." Steve whimpered through ragged breaths. 

"Shut up Harrington. What do you have to be sorry for?" Billy scoffed trying desperately to lighten the mood. 

"Everything." 

Billy froze when he heard the sincerity and regret packed behind that one word. That one damning admittance. He was immediately taken back to that night in the Byers' house. That very ugly fight that had everyone on edge and made Max finally stand up for herself and her friends. Billy still hadn't asked or even questioned what was going on in that house, although he probably should have. Seemed like some kind of cult activity he'd guessed but he didn't really care. He had his own shit to deal with. But, he didn't blame Steve or even Max for that. He was mostly just mad at himself for losing control like that. 

"Shut up Harrington." He said again, leaning forward to turn on the radio. Steve chose that same instance to just collapse against the other boy, burying his face in that broad chest. Billy's finger turned on the radio out of pure reflex as Steve burrowed deeper into his chest, arms wrapping firmly around his waist. 

"Hear that lonesome whippoorwill,  
He sounds too blue to die.  
The midnight train is winding low,  
I'm so lonesome I could cry." 

The irony of Elvis Presley was not lost on Billy who was practically frozen with uncertainty. He grabbed Steve's arms, ready to shove him off but was met with big, dark pleading eyes. 

"Please. Please don't. ....just ...just let me have this. Please." 

 

"Did you ever see a robin weep  
when leaves began to die?  
that means he's lost the will to live,  
I'm so lonesome I could cry."

He sounded broken, utterly devastated and that was no excuse for his actions. But Billy found that he couldn't stand Steve staring so openly at him, so he carded his fingers through the other boy's extremely soft hair and guided him back to his chest. He leaned back against the window and stretched his legs across the entire front seat, Steve's body draped over him. 

"The silence of a falling star,  
lights up a purple sky,  
And as I wonder where you are,  
I'm so lonesome I could cry."


	2. Fallout

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> All Steve had was gone now. There was no one to help him ease the pain, loneliness and regret. His entire world was upside down. All scars opened and his heart, irrevocably broken. What else could he do?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another chapter for you Glen Coco! Lol, I just love this pairing so much. Writing them and their growing connection is extremely exciting. Gah, I just love Stranger Things! Enjoy folks! Sam_Haine

Fallout

8:46 AM

The sounds of chirping birds and other forest animals weren't the reason why Billy was awake.

No. 

But something else did. 

It was a soft, sleepy sort of shuffling movement against his body. A huff of breath against his neck. A fucking cold nose pressing into his neck. The tangle of his legs with another's. Hips pressed up against his own. And the most alarming, was his own arms that were wrapped just as intimately around the body on top of him. He could feel his palms slide gently up and down the slightly muscled back, the soft t-shirt riding up high with every stroke, revealing smooth skin. Then his hand ventured further upward to card soothingly through that extremely soft dark brown hair. Of course that was when he thought he'd hooked up with some chick after Tommy's party. But then his memories came back to him and he freaked the fuck out. 

Fuck.

"Get off Harrington." He scathed shoving at a still sleeping Steve until he woke with a yelp. He scrambled off immediately with his back pressed up against the window in confusion. 

"What the hell?!" He yelled before cringing hard at the sound of his own voice. His hair was an unruly mass of brunette locks sticking out in clumps and his throat felt like sandpaper. He hunched over with his head in his hands trying to stop his brain from exploding. 

"Rise and shine Harrington." Billy grumbled, setting himself straight in his seat, fixing his crumpled shirt ....the shirt Steve crumpled. Because he slept on top of him....all through the night. Billy shuddered at the thought before turning up the volume on his radio. 

"Not so loud!" Steve hissed, turning the volume way down low, his face scrunched up in discomfort. Hangovers were such a bitch. And Billy was so not helping. The mullet wearing teen smacked his hand away before grumbling about how no one touched his radio and yadda yadda yadda. Steve just wanted to throw up and then sleep for the rest of his life. 

"Not my fault you decided to fuck yourself up Princess." Billy chuckled, digging in the glovebox for something familiar. He pulled out the orange cylindrical tube of painkillers and chucked it at Harrington who completely missed it and ended up just watching it fall into the footwell between his legs. Billy just shook his head.

"Why do you even have these?" Steve argued like a petulant child but tapped out two of the white pills nonetheless. 

"None of your business." Billy answered curtly, snagging the bottle away from him. 

"God. How the hell did this happen?" Steve murmured to himself rubbing his hands over his face tiredly. He felt so exhausted both physically and mentally. His bones felt creaky and his throat was virtually filled with sand. It didn't help that he couldn't remember jackshit from the night before and coming to the realization that he'd somehow ended up in Billy Hargrove's car was not helping. "I feel like a semi-truck ran me over twice." 

That earned him a good-natured nod and snicker from Billy. "You were pretty smashed last night."

Steve groaned, mortified.  
"What happened?" He forced the question out of his mouth because he didn't really want to know -he believed it was most likely Nancy-related- but he needed to prepare to face everyone when he got back to school tomorrow. 

Billy is silent for a moment before he responds.  
"I wasn't there when it happened but you were throwing it down with the punch bowl. And the punch bowl won." 

Steve shook his head, visibly mortified for the hundredth time that morning. 

"Then you were sorta just lying there in the floor, eating splinters. They were all in tears laughing man." Billy joked, desperately wishing for a cigarette. Steve didn't need to know about the crying part; or the Nancy part for that matter. He'd regress, Billy was sure of it and that wasn't something he could deal with at the moment. He heard a small sigh come from the boy next to him and looked out the window, for fear of another shitty conversation with Steve fucking Harrington. 

"Why'd you do it?" 

And there it came, the same question from last night; just with less tears, which was good. Why'd you do it? And Billy wasn't even sure he could answer that question when he didn't even know why he did it. He could go for empathy. He could make up a story about how he was in the same situation once and decided to lend a hand. But that would sound way too convenient. Why did you help him, Billy?

"I wanted you to owe me." He finally settled on, earning an exasperated and just "done" look from Steve. 

"You're -okay, first of all, you're really messed up, and second, I never asked for your help, so there." Harrington stated as smugly as he could while still kicking vodka and tequila ugly. His head was rested across his forearm that was pressed against the glovebox. 

"I need a fucking cigarette." Billy sighed rubbing his eyes tiredly. "Where to Harrington?" 

"Home." Steve mumbled childishly, head still on the glove box. "Take me home. I just wanna go home." 

"Okay dammit!" Billy snapped, rolling down his window. "Jesus you're worse than Max, I swear." He groused before starting up the engine. 

.......

Steve doesn't remember anything after Billy swings by his house to drop him off. The California boy just screeches off the minute Steve slams his door. He does remember screaming "asshole!" at the back of the blue Camaro. But now as he lies in bed, naked as the day he was born, he can't help but rack his brain, trying desperately to recall the party. He remembers Nancy. And Johnathan. And then, Billy. God, stupid Billy! How the other boy had managed to save his ass from more embarrassment he would never know. But then there was that moment from earlier when he'd woken up after cuddling with the blue-eyed runt. He had to admit though, those few hours of shut eye were the best sleep he'd gotten since Nancy, hell- since the whole Upside Down, demogorgon mess. 

He groaned out loud, slapping a hand over his forehead. He was NOT thinking about Billy Hargrove while lying naked in bed. That was not happening. Steve Harrington didn't think about douchebags like Billy Hargrove. Just cos the dude helped him out once, didn't mean that he owed him his life and his undying allegiance. Hargrove was a runt, a dick; an annoying mosquito constantly orbiting his life and making him miserable. He slid his hands over his face tiredly, before getting up to go shower. Some freezing water would do him good to cure the fever that was Billy Hargrove, erupting under his skin.

............

"Steve!" 

He groaned the second he heard the cute, perky voice of one Nancy Wheeler. 

"Hey Nance." He answered slowly, twirling and untwirling the telephone cord round his finger in repeated, unsure movements. His parents weren't home, again, and he'd honestly just planned on staying in bed all night, watching the Terminator. But then the phone rang and he'd merely answered out of reflex. 

Wrong move. 

"I should've called sooner. I, wanted to call sooner." 

There was an awkward pause and all Steve could hear was her breathing. Steady. Compact. Sane. God, he wanted some of that composure for himself at the moment. Nancy had been the one real thing he'd ever done right in his life. She was the beacon that showed him a true way out of his old habits. Truth was, he'd never liked the old Steve; had always thought that Steve was kind of a dick. A pretentious one at that. And when Nancy came into his life, he hated that version of himself even more. Even when they were together, he had some inkling that she shared in those feelings as well. It was almost as if she became ashamed at the idea of them together. And that was all new for Steve, as he'd gotten used to girls at school practically throwing themselves at the chance of being with the great King Steve. They'd do anything to be with him. But not Nancy. No. 

"Steve? You still there?" Her voice sounded softer now, unsure. 

"Yeah, yeah. I'm still here." He choked, pinching the bridge of his nose. "What's up Nance?" 

"I was worried about you. I mean, I should've called right after the party to make sure you were okay. And then when you didn't show up to school... I dunno..., are you alright?" Her voice was shaky now, nervous. He could just imagine that little crease between her brows whenever she was stressed over something. He'd always thought it was endearingly cute. Now all it was, was a reminder of something he could never have. They were over. 

"I'm fine, I guess. From what I heard, sounds like I was pretty smashed." He joked, trying to make light of the situation. An emotional Nancy was way more than he could handle at the moment and if she started getting sentimental, he was afraid he'd ruin their friendly relationship even further. 

Her sweet laughter echoed across the speaker and he felt his heart twinge a little. Just another thing he couldn't call his. 

"Yeah you were. I heard about the punch bowl incident. And that Billy was the one who dragged you out of that mess. I'm so sorry we weren't there to help, Johnathan had to leave because something came up with Will." Nancy let all of that sentence come out in one gush as if she'd been waiting all day to explain to him why the only person who saved him from possibly decimating what was left of his reputation was Billy Hargrove. 

"It's cool Nance, really. Billy said he just did it so I would owe him anyway." He chuckled, once again trying to dissolve the tense electricity that was passing over the line between them. Nancy saying Jonathan's name right then was not something he needed to hear. He was sore about losing Nancy. But losing her to none other than Johnathan Byers had poured salt and gasoline on his open wounds and then dropped a Zippo in them. 

"That sounds like something he would do." She scoffed, her first chuckle of the night. "So anyway, I picked up all your assignments from Biology and Math. Mr Carver asked me to give them-"

"Nance?" 

The sharp breath after he cut her off made her pause abruptly, silence festering between them at high voltage. 

"Yeah Steve?" She sounded so small now, he almost wanted to back out. But tell-tale heart beating in his chest, fuelled by his curiosity made him power on. 

"Can you tell me what I did?" 

The resigned sigh that came from the other end of the line made him grow cold. 

"Steve can we not do this t-"

"Please just tell me ...I want to ...I need to know if there's something I could do-"

"Something you could do about what?" She cut him off this time, her voice annoyingly empathetic. Pitiful.

"If there is still a chance that I can make this right Nance. Please tell me what I have to do. Please?" He was actually sobbing into the receiver now, sitting on the floor next to the nightstand. His heart raced as he waited out a few agonizing seconds until he heard her voice again. 

"Steve I'm sorry. I'm so sorry but-"

"This isn't just about Barb I know that. But I can be better I swear."

"I'm sorry-"

"Stop saying you're sorry!" He yelled and immediately regretted it. He wiped his face before resting his forehead on his wet palm. The huge time break between them was now charged with heartbreaking reluctance. And he could respect her for that. It was then that he knew why he'd lost her. And it wasn't because he'd yelled. No. It was because he finally realized that she'd fallen out of love with him. It wasn't because of Byers or Barb. They'd just fallen apart ...or grew apart. Whichever one it was, there was no going back. Just, Nancy seemed to grasp that concept quicker than he did. 

"Goodnight Steve." 

The ending click of the call might as well have been the melody of a gunshot. 

********

The ring of the phone made Neil startle slightly, pissing him off rather than scaring him. Susan was cuddled next to him on the couch as they watched their late night movie, beer and popcorn strewn all over the table in front of them. He grumbled incoherently as he made his way to the offending communication device on the wall. A soft, shaky voice whined over the line before he could speak.

"Billy?... I need you..."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You totally should've listened to Impossible by Shontelle lol. Or the 80's equivalent would be Careless Whisper by George Michael. I'm judging your song choice right now. xD Much love, Sam_Haine


	3. Don't Talk To Me Like I'm Stupid

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fear the Wrath of Neil Hargrove. Steve doesn't know how badly he screwed up. Billy's in a precarious state and this chaos can only lead to an extremely beautiful disaster for everyone involved.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another chapter for you Glen Coco! I am just so happy with all the positive feedback I'm getting! You people are seriously awesome! Your support just makes my day. And it makes me just want to keep writing for you guys. So, with that being said, here's Chapter 3! Get your Kleenex ready. Lol, jk, but totally listen to some sad music whilst reading. I was listening to Love the way you lie pt.2. Probably influenced some of the scenes in this chapter. Enjoy.  
> Much love, Sam_Haine

Don't Talk To Me Like I'm Stupid 

Neil Hargrove was seldom shell-shocked by many things. After the death of his wife, and Billy's mother, he had created an extremely hard armour around his psyche and in his mind. Had compelled himself, body, mind and soul, that if the love of his life could just disappear so suddenly, then there was nothing that could happen to him that would ever shock him like the day she flatlined. 

Nothing. 

With the exception of this suspicious phone call which came at ass o' clock in the dead hours of the early morning. 

"Who the hell is this?" He rasped, glancing back to check on Susan who was already passed out on the couch, the television screen glowing brightly across her sleeping face. 

The voice paused abruptly, sounding as if it had just realized the wrongness of the call. The person was asking for Billy, which immediately put Neil on red alert. 

"Oh, I'm sorry. You're not Billy." The very male voice replied sheepishly. 

"No I'm his father. What do you want with my son?" Neil grated, fully aware of the off guardedness of the person on the other end of the line. 

"Uhm, I'm one of his classmates from school. Steve. I just wanted to ...clarify something with him on a ....uh, project we're working on." Neil heard the shakiness in this Steve-kid's voice and he didn't like it. 

"And you thought it'd be wise to call at 2 AM on a Friday morning? For a school project?" 

Steve knew in an instant, that he'd royally fucked up. He'd racked his brain for a damn good reason for calling the Hargroves at ass o' clock in the morning and school project was the best he could come up with. Given his mental and emotional state at the moment, he almost couldn't blame himself fully, for his own stupidity. It didn't stop him from feeling like a total and complete ass as Neil pointed out the obvious flaw in his lie. Dammit, think fast Steve!

"Uh, yeah see, it's sort of due today. So ....y'know what? It's okay Mr Hargrove, I'll just talk to him about it at school later. I am so sorry for the disturbance. I'll ...just, ...okay bye." 

The phone clicked off, cutting the connection between Neil and the boy. 

Steve. 

Growling, Neil hung up and stealthily headed in the direction of Billy's room, narrowing his eyes suspiciously at the closed door. He tried to be as silent as possible, hoping- no, needing to catch Billy red-handed. Who the hell was Steve? And why the hell was he calling Billy at 2 AM sounding like- ...sounding like 'that'. Neil didn't even want to imagine what this Steve and his faggot of a son got up to in their spare time. 

He counted to three, like some kind of S.W.A.T police officer doing a raid, before pushing the door open. It took a moment for his eyes to adjust to the darkness of the boys room and when he could see properly again, he saw the prone, sleeping profile of Billy under his covers. His eyes narrowed suspiciously at the scene for a few minutes until his curiosity was satisfied. Then he left, returning to a still passed out Susan on the couch. The sleeping fucker had gotten away for tonight, he thought. Come morning though, Billy was going to have to answer some tough questions. 

.........

The intense animosity of the atmosphere as Billy approached the breakfast table almost made him turn tail and run back into the refuge that was his room. But one very stern look from Neil had him sitting down quickly without much thought for anything else. He tried hard to avoid his father's steely eyes that he could just feel on him. Staring him down. Itching for a confrontation. His hair was a messy pile of blonde bed head and his eyes were still heavy with sleep. He was so not in the mood for this.

Max's eyes kept darting from him to Neil and Susan kept her eyes down, staring into her plate as if it held some great answers to all life's questions. Billy snorted at her submissiveness, chewing on his toast absently. So Neil was angry about something or someone. Again. She should've gotten used to it since they'd been together for three years. And although he didn't know what Neil was mad about this time, Billy just knew it had something to do with him. It always did. He winced and could feel his body begin to tense up as Neil spoke, his deep voice characteristically rough today. 

Yup, he was pissed. 

"Susan why don't you take Max to school today?" He said, the question sounding more like a statement than an actual request. Billy still had no idea how his dad managed to do that whole duality thing but he had to admit that it was impressive, much to his displeasure. 

"Are you sure? I mean Bil-" She began, her voice soft, delicate and respectful. Careful. She knew that she had to tread lightly when Neil was in one of his moods. And only she knew what his mood swings meant for Billy. They were extremely careful about exposing Max to Billy's abuse. Which was the main reason why Max seemed to just take the contentious atmosphere between her step dad and step brother with a grain of salt. 

But Neil interrupted her.  
"No. I have to discuss some business with Billy and I'm afraid it's going to take a while. I don't want Maxine to be late for school. So please take her?" 

Billy felt his stomach drop, the digested toast churning uncomfortably inside him. He kept his eyes down, acutely aware of Susan's pitiful eyes on him. He knew she felt sorry for him. But he couldn't bring himself to even care. Every shouting match, every beat down and every ass kicking, she'd been present and had not done a thing about it. She was afraid of Neil. Afraid of her own conscience. He didn't need her pity. Just accepted that he was in for another pummelling for breakfast. 

"Okay." She conceded before gently prodding Max's shoulder. "Come on honey, let's go." 

Neil got up and walked them to the door, kissing Susan's cheek and Max's forehead before waving them goodbye, like some kind of perfect, caring father-figure. It worsened Billy's need to throw up. What a role model, he thought caustically, taking a drink of water to prepare himself for the abuse. 

He counted; one, two, three...

Neil was on him like a jaguar the minute they both heard Susan's car pull off. He yanked him to his feet and shoved him against the wall.

"Who is Steve?" 

Well that was unexpected. 

Billy immediately felt his blood run cold; the thought of someone telling his father that they'd seen him and Harrington sleeping together in the woods on red alert in his mind. His cognitive abilities were short-circuiting. 

"I...I don't know-"

The first slap rang in his ear and lit up the entire left side of his face. He winced, feeling his eye start to swell up. Neil's large, calloused hand grabbed his chin roughly, refocusing his dazed glare. 

"Don't lie to me boy!" The shout echoed in his head and he squirmed under the pressure of the man's grip on him. 

"He's on the team!" He amended, not braced for the next slap that came. It was harder than the first one and he could feel tears spring into his eyes because of it. 

"Why the hell was he calling here at two in the morning?" Neil's voice was dangerously low and scathing now, and it sent chills throughout Billy's body. He didn't know! Why the fuck was Harrington calling his house? He could feel his heart go berserk in his chest, like a caged animal. God, Neil was going to fucking kill him today!

"I don't know!" He gasped unevenly as the man yanked him by the collar, pulling him forward only to slam him into the wall again. Pain exploded in the back of his head and he grunted harshly, feeling a single hot tear slip down his face. Another slap caused his already split lip to open again and now blood was pouring freely down his chin. 

"He said he needed you. That you both had an assignment that was due today. Do you?" Neil snarled, his grip only getting tighter. Billy heard his own frighten and pained sob escape his lips as he tried to pull away, fingers clawing at the man's hands. 

"Yes! We do!" He yelled, thinking with relief that at least it wasn't about the whole car cuddling thing. Steve must've come up with that on the fly and Billy knew it would be wise to keep up with the lie. Or they'd both be in deep shit. Well, maybe not Steve. Billy didn't know his folks but he didn't think there were any other parents out there like Neil Hargrove. 

"Well you know what I think?" Neil said, that maniacal laughter making Billy cold sweat. He knew how his dad got when he started amusing himself to deal with a situation. This was the part where he crossed the line from abusive father to just straight abusive. He grabbed Billy by the neck and shoved him across the floor, the boy landing at his feet on his back. The toe of his steel-tipped, worker boots connecting squarely with Billy's gut, making him curl up to protect himself. 

"I think it's rather convenient that the minute this 'Steve' realized that it wasn't you who answered the phone, he came up with an easy excuse for why he said he 'needed you'. A damn dumb excuse too, if you ask me." 

Another kick planted itself in his sternum and that one caused a sharp pain to explode in his chest as he grunted and gasped for breath. The swift fist to his temple did nothing to stop the pain from worsening. And suddenly Neil was right in his face, spitting harsh words at him. 

"No son of mine is gonna be a damn faggot! Not if I can help it. You stay away from Steve or I'll make him go away! One request at work and we can be in another town by morning. Is that understood?" 

"Yes." Billy muttered blankly despite the tears just drenching his face now. 

Another punch cracked against his right cheek.  
"Yes what?!" 

Billy didn't even bother to turn his face to look at his father. Just kept staring in the direction the punch had sent him in before answering more clearly. 

"Yes Sir." 

Steve Harrington was so dead.

******

Steve adamantly tried avoiding Nancy's eyes throughout the first two periods, keeping his face practically pressed into the pages of his black and white notebook. He just felt that if he did, he'd start crying again. And that was the last thing he wanted or needed at the moment. She had made it perfectly clear to him, what her feelings were. And while he'd been trying to accept that, he knew the wound on his heart would not let him rest if he just started talking to her like norml again. No. 

This was good. Space was good. Good...now if she could just stop looking at him like some goddamn wounded animal! He could see her out of the corner of his eyes, just staring. Sighing, he distracted himself by glancing back at Hargrove's desk -only to find the boy missing. And while this was normal behaviour -because Billy had become the king of skipping classes-it seemed a bit off putting. Steve really wanted to talk to the boy, to clarify what had gone down between him and his father. God knows he'd hung up on that call feeling like a total creep. Suddenly the bell rung and he shot up out of his chair. 

A few footsteps away from the classroom and he heard Nancy call him. 

"Steve!" 

He paused without looking back, that familiar ache in his chest acting up like a recently healed bone during a lightning storm. The soft touch on his shoulder had him flinching away as if he'd been burned -after that last night conversation, he might as well have been. He spun around to face her and was instantly crushed by her hurt expression. 'God Nancy Wheeler, go on and break my heart all fucking over again', he thought with a miserable resignation. 

"Hey." He mumbled, looking down at his shoes. 

"Hi. I just wanted to give you these." She said meekly, handing over a folder with pages neatly bound inside; the notes and assignments he'd missed he guessed. 

"Thanks a lot Nancy." He coughed out, turning away to get the hell out of dodge. But she grabbed him before he could. 

"Steve -wait!" She pleaded, those huge, dark eyes boring into him, severing him alive. 

"What Nance? You made it pretty clear last night that what we had was over." He stated sharply, instantly regretting it when he saw her flinch, hard. That wasn't fair and he knew it. There were so many circumstances involved in their breakup, that it was hard to just ignore each other completely. Steve knew he was being childish. Stupidly childish and petulant. But a small part of him just wanted to see her hurting as much as he was. Was that too much to ask? 

"I'm sorry." He conceded.

She shook her head as if it meant nothing even though the hurt was clear in her eyes.  
"I really am sor-" She paused. "I hate this."

Steve sighed, tired with the whole treading lightly he'd been forced to do lately. He just wanted to punch something already! But he calmed himself down by reminding asshole Steve that Nancy was also hurt by their break up. This wasn't only a burden for him, but also for her and it was probably already taxing her and Jonathan's relationship. He swallowed, making the conscious decison to put her heartache to rest, by sacrificing his own. 

"I get it. I hate this too Nance. But believe me, I'll get over myself. I will. I ...I just need time okay?" He said gently, seriously not wanting to hurt her. A glimmer of hope ignited in her brown eyes and she offered him an exhausted smile. He could understand that even though she didn't want to be with him like that anymore, she still needed him as a friend. And that meant more to him than he ever realised. 

Smiling at the realization, he pulled her into a casual yet meaningful hug. It was a hug of assurance. And one of comfort. And he could tell she appreciated the gesture by the way she melted into his embrace. He felt her chuckle in relief against his chest and he couldn't help but chuckle too, leaning his head back slightly, a soft grin on his face. 

God this felt liberating! 

As they broke apart, he stared at her with pure adoration and suddenly, things were right, right there in that little moment. 

"I agree." She finally said, her smile reaching her eyes. 

"Some time apart will be good. Just to reassess everything." 

Steve nodded, his heart clenching at the thought of such finality. What if she reassessed everything and decided he didn't need to be a part of her life anymore? 

Shaking his head, he allowed himself to let go of that fleeting thought. 

"Agreed. Unless of course Dustin's hiding another demodog in his room and we have to save the world again." He joked. 

Her laugh remained in his head as they both parted ways to their respective classes. 

**********  
All searches for one Billy Hargrove ended up fruitless and Steve could feel his positive energy dry up with each passing second. The absence of his blue Camaro in the school's parking lot became a sore spot for Steve, who frustratedly sat down in his own car. 'School was over in fifteen minutes anyway,' he thought as he pulled haphazardly out of the parking lot. 

Dustin didn't go to school today, so he was afforded extra time to just cruise on the way home. If only. Steve's heart was racing as he sped on his way to the Hargroves. He needed to make things right with Billy's dad. Not to appease the man....more like just to see Billy. Which was totally weird, when he thought about it. That night after he'd had his little breakdown with Nancy still had him shaken but he knew he would be lying to himself if he blamed his emotional instability solely on her. Half of it was because he'd suddenly just felt this burning need to talk to Billy. To hear his low voice....to drown in that soothing tone. It was confusing for sure. And he couldn't even begin to decipher what those feelings meant but after that night in Billy's car....something ...everything had changed. 

If only he knew what, he thought as he pulled into the Hargroves' driveway. The lights were all on in the house, which was a good thing, he reminded himself. Sighing with dread, he straightened his sweater and ran a careless hand through his hair. Somehow this felt weirder for him than that time he and Nancy had dinner with Barb's parents. Slowly, he knocked on the door. 

There was no sound or movement of any type that he could make out from where he was standing. Hell, the freaking door was one solid panel; no glass, no doorbell. Just a silent declaration of "hi, if you're not a Hargrove fuck you and you're not invited." It actually seemed pretty isolated and sad that Steve actually felt bad for both Billy and Max. 

He heard the sound of metal clicking against metal as the doorknob finally began to turn. Steve took a deep breath, preparing to meet Billy's dad. Then he froze in his tracks.

"The hell are you doing here?" Billy looked just as shocked as he was when they saw each other. He looked a bit spooked even. 

"Well I wa- what the hell happened to you?" 

Stating that Billy's face was messed up was a major understatement. The left side of his face was swollen and purple. Both eyes looked dark and puffy. And his lips were split in two places, fresh blood still clearly oozing from one of them. He just looked raw, and busted open, his pale complexion marred by dark, angry splotches of red, purple, black and a deep blue. The boy looked down immediately as if hiding them now would make a difference. When he realized that it didn't, he put on his famous one-sided grin and licked his lip in that cocky way he always did. 

"None of your damn business, Harrington. Now I'm gonna ask you again, what the hell are you doing here?"

Steve almost shivered at the low and dangerous baritone in Billy's voice.   
"I ...you weren't at school. I was worried. And I came to apologize to your Dad." 

At the mention of his father, Billy visibly blanches. He takes a threatening step towards Steve, who backs up a step. 

"Don't. He doesn't care and neither do I. How did you even get my number anyway?" 

"Max?" Steve replied sheepishly, hands stuffed into his jeans pockets. 

Billy growled. "Max huh?" 

"Yeah. Look, I just ...I'm sorry man. I should've called earlier. Your dad sounded really annoyed." Steve chuckled, scratching the back of his head awkwardly. 

Billy closed his eyes for a second before opening them with an incredible portrayal of calm. Steve was impressed.

"Yeah he was. And he doesn't want you calling here anymore. And neither do I. Stay the hell away from me Harrington." 

Steve frowned slightly. He knew he and Billy weren't exactly the best of friends, but that didn't mean they couldn't talk or communicate. Right? Billy did help him out back at Tommy's party and Steve was just feeling immensely connected to that moment. Passing out in Billy's car, stacked against each other, sharing in the peacefulness of the wilderness. Apparently it meant nothing to Billy. 

"Bill- I ...I just wanted to talk." Steve admits, breaking eye contact with the other boy as he said so. He heard Billy cackle maniacally. 

"I saved your ass one time Harrington. One time! That does not warrant a friendship. Get over it! And get over yourself. Princess!" 

Sensing that Billy was about to get unreasonably mean, Steve held up both hands in truce.  
"Okay, I get it-" He started but cut himself off when Billy stepped up to him, getting right in his face, their noses almost touching. 

"No, you don't get it." Billy stated, his voice just above a scathing whisper. Dangerous and mean. 

"We're not friends, Harrington. We never will be. I saved your ass once, fine. No need for you to get clingy like some little bitch. That's probably why Wheeler dumped you for Byers in the first place. She realised how much of a needy, pathetic bitch you really are." 

The air between them was still as the dead for all of zero seconds before Billy was reeling back from the effects of a hard slap to his already messed up face. He cackled out loud and proud, a nasty glee in his eyes. When he looked up, Steve was staring at him with a vacant expression, his mouth pulled into an extremely hard line. 

Harrington was beyond pissed. 

Billy knew Nancy was a sore spot for him, and he'd still used his greatest weakness against him. That was lower than the lowest of blows. And Billy knew it. He'd seen the flash of hurt that crossed the other boy's face when he said it. And for some reason that struck a chord within him. Because he remembers....

He remembers that night at the party when Steve had been messed up. When he'd cried his eyes out sitting in the passenger side of his car in the middle of the night. Head in his hands he'd confessed to Billy that Nancy's choice to be with Jonathan instead of him had hurt him more than he would ever let on. And how he'd been hurting real bad, he just never showed it. 

But most of all, he remembers how Steve had begged to give him one moment of peace. One moment of mercy. And just pleaded to be held because he couldn't stand the pain. Couldn't deal with it by himself. And Billy remembers wanting to shove Steve away so hard. But his conscience wouldn't let him and he'd finally just gently pressed the boy's head to his chest. Steve was completely obliterated because of Nancy Wheeler. 

And now Billy just killed him once again. 

Steve wordlessly made it back to his car, started up the engine and pulled out of the driveway; a single tear slipping down his cheek as he drove off into the distant darkness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More to come folks! Stay tuned, you beautiful people. xoxo Sam_Haine


	4. No Flaws When You're Pretending

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Billy just wants to disappear. Steve Harrington will not be ignored.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so long. I had an essay and a presentation due and this week has been hell for me. But I kept writing. Enjoy :) Sam_Haine

No Flaws When You're Pretending 

Billy watched as Harrington's BMW sped off, his eyes following the red and orange back lights until they disappeared. He scoffed and went back to his room, closing the door behind him. All he could think of at the moment was how grateful he was that his father hadn't come home from work yet. Had the man seen Steve pull into his driveway, Billy's sure things would've gone down way worse than it actually did. He sat on his bed, in a loose grey t-shirt and dark blue shorts, white tube socks going all the way up to his knees. It was awfully cold and Billy was still shaking from the beating he'd received earlier that day. Call him a pussy or whatever, but his chest still hurt like hell when he breathed in. Neil's boot had gotten him good. 

He sat with his back leaned up against the back frame of the bed, legs drawn up close to his body, arms hugging both of his knees. He was slowly shaking back and forth, at times resting his head on his knees; other times leaning straight back until he could see the ceiling at a weird angle. His chest hurt so bad and his face didn't feel so hot either. But the pain that overpowered the physical hurting turned out to be in his chest; and as corny as that sounded, Billy couldn't lie to himself. Again. 

He'd screwed things up so bad for his father, after his mother died, that he sometimes wished that he could've taken her place instead. Maybe his father wouldn't hate him so much anymore. Just love him from the other side. He scoffed at the thought and immediately felt the hot tears that slid down his face. In times like these, he felt grateful that Neil had taken Susan and Max to dinner at some fancy restaurant. It allowed him the chance to be alone with his....anguish. He never minded being left alone at home, even when he was younger. The silence and peace of mind were welcome. He wiped his face quickly, as if to convince himself that the tears had never fallen. 

Sighing heavily he reached over to his nightstand to grab the orange bottle of pills that sat atop the surface. As he shook two of the painkillers onto his hand, he recalled handing the very same bottle to Steve Harrington a day ago. He shook his head again as Harrington's stupid, angry face flashed in his mind. He'd honestly never meant to go that far with the other boy. But desperation kicked in and what came out was just as damning as anything else. 

He swallowed the pills. 

Sometimes after a particularly bad beating, Billy would go off into this mind-space that made him wonder about a shit ton of mundane things. The first contemplation was upon suicide, something he couldn't bring himself to do. Things only went from bad to worse with Neil, but not even that could make him do it. No. He was too much of a coward to put a bullet in his own brain. Sometimes he even wished- no, pleaded with his father silently, that maybe one day, he could hit him so hard and cross the line so far, that Billy would never wake from the impact. Just one hit ...and then peace.

That first contemplation always made him cry. 

He buried his head in his hands as more sobs wracked through him, igniting more pain all over his bruised body. At this point, would come the second contemplation within his mind-space: running away. Since he was fourteen years old, Billy had attempted to runaway over a dozen times. But every single time he did, he would look at the only picture he had of his mother and decide against it. She would be disappointed in him for turning his back on his family...his father. It would never happen. 

The second contemplation brought with it, less sobbing, but more silent tears, just shining in a beautiful track down his face. 

He breathed deeply, dissipating the hurt and sorrow inside of him, giving allowance for his mind-space to give in to the third and final contemplation; anger. His anger was outsourced from a number of peripherals, which were the things and the people that circled his life in that moment. He could name a few who were directly responsible for his anger, Neil being at the top of the list. He hated the man; probably not as much as he hated himself, but still, Neil Hargrove had a way of getting under his skin. He hated his father because he was the only fear Billy couldn't overcome. 

The next source of his anger included Max and her whore of a mother. Susan came into his life when things were just improving a bit between him and Neil. And at that point, the slowly forming between him and father was severed irrevocably. And Maxine became the new, golden child for both Neil and Susan to dote on. Any hopes of him mending things with his dad died when Susan and Max inserted themselves into the picture.

And he hated them for it. 

Exhaling hard through his clenched teeth, he picked up the beer bottle on the nightstand and flung it angrily at the other side of the room. The dark brown glass shattered hard against the wall, the remnants of alcohol inside it spraying an ugly wet stain on the once dry surface. He rubbed his hands across his face, frustration getting the better of him. 

The last source of his anger was Steve Harrington. 

Steve fucking Harrington and his perfect hair and his perfect life. His perfect fucking heartbreak. He had everything Billy didn't; a shit ton of money, parents who were hardly home and didn't give a damn about him, good friends. Not that Billy cared for friends. He could honestly give a damn about those. At first Billy just found him annoying. He was the alpha male at Hawkins high. The rich, pretty boy with the smart girl on his arm and a truckload of pretentious, expendable friends. 

But then Steve suddenly did a full 360 and came back, a knight in shining armour. Adored by Max and those stupid kids. More popular than ever. And even though it killed Billy to admit, he bore the heavy burden of wanting a life like that. He'd never dare admit that he was jealous of the guy, no. But he would be lying through his teeth if he said he didn't long for Harrington's happy life. But he knew reality from fantasy; just like he knew bruises that formed because of basketball practice, from bruises that were caused by an abusive hand. 

He could never get that life. Never become Steve Harrington. Could never be happy. At this point, his mind-space would become so awfully muddled with all of his wonderfully dark thoughts, that he'd be forced to silence himself with a fuck-ton of beer to pass out, or a cigarette to ease his head. But tonight felt different. Tonight felt obscenely off and even though he didn't want to admit it, he knew it was because of what went down with Harrington. 

He sighed, leaning against the headboard in utter defeat. Steve didn't deserve it, Billy knew. He knew from the moment the boy said he'd come to make things right with Neil. Who the hell did that? It was just a weird phone call... trust fucking Harrington to be that chivalrous, knight in shining armour, he thought with a small smile that froze on his face just as his eyes closed to sleep away his exhaustion. 

.............  
"Hey man." Tommy greeted casually, stuffing his changed clothes into his gym locker. 

"Hey Tommy," Steve replied stiffly, throwing his Hawkins t-shirt over his head. He felt like a goddamn robot today, just working on pure fuel and rudimentary instructions in his brain. His hair was a beautiful mess and he had dark circles under his eyes. God, he was tired these days. And not in the physical way, no. He was just mentally and emotionally drained. First Nancy and now that asshole he'd permitted himself to care about, until he didn't; Billy Hargrove. 

He can still remember the last time he saw the other boy. Could still feel the stinging of his palm as it connected with his already bruised face. He remembered almost feeling bad for a moment when he saw Billy flinch in pain, but that feeling quickly burned away and all that was left was just pure anger. Anger and disappointment. He didn't understand the disappointment, but he supposed those feelings were probably because he'd latched on to the Billy he'd met after that stupid party....and had expected that very same Billy the night he went to his house. 

Boy, was he wrong. Hargrove was just as nasty and obnoxious as ever. Bringing up shit that he knew Steve was just trying to get over and rubbing it in his face; typical Hargrove behaviour. Steve remembers feeling his heart twinge painfully when the other boy uttered that shit about Nancy and Jonathan. For some reason he thought about that topic being the last thing Hargrove would ever throw in his face. Turns out Billy was the same old dusty record and that made Steve mad. Hell, everything was making Steve mad these days, he realized. 

"Yo that's a nasty shiner dude." 

Steve shook himself out of his thoughts and looked up to see who the hell Tommy was talking to. 

Bad idea. 

Their eyes met from the moment he looked up, cold, blue ice against dark, amber brown. Billy was staring him down with an unbridled intensity that made him feel some type of way. Not good or particularly bad.... just uneasy. But he quickly let all those feelings go and replaced them with his own anger at the other boy. Because fuck Billy Hargrove. He still had a patch of dark bruises under his eyes and in the cheek and jaw areas, as if someone had punched him continuously until the skin broke. The bruises looked much like Billy's temperament, angry purple and haywire red. The angry colours contrasted uncomfortably with the iciness of his blue eyes so much so that he looked angry and extremely earnest at the same time. 

Serves him right, Steve thought. He didn't really know why he was standing there, analyzing the boy's bruises, psyche and physical tells. He didn't care. Billy most likely deserved that ass kicking and Steve almost wishes the damage had been done by his hands. He growled, slamming his locker shut with a loud bang before brushing past Hargrove and Tommy, in a sweeping wind of fury. 

Fuck Billy Hargrove.

............  
On the court, things became even more intense as Steve made it a point to get up in Billy's face with every move. At times, Billy didn't even have possession of the ball and Steve found himself pushing and leaning forcefully against the other's back -which was covered by a t-shirt today- digging his elbow into his ribs. He didn't care that the coach had yelled at him several times to stop hassling the other players and just sink a few goddamn points. He was just full of anger and resentment at Hargrove for what he'd said; and he was growing weary and irritated by Nancy's indecisiveness toward him. It was like sometimes she'd look at him in wonder as if he'd hung the freaking moon and stars in the sky for her which he'd more or less done- and other times, she frowned at him like he was some sort of scum of the earth who'd lost the privilege of being with Nancy Wheeler. He couldn't very well tell her off since they'd both agreed to giving each other space to figure things out, but Hargrove....well, it was open season on him. 

A harsh grunt in his ear exploded, shaking him out of his reverie as he heard the coach's whistle blow. Hard.

"Harrington what the hell was that?" Coach Bell hollered as everyone paused to stare down at an exhausted-looking Billy who'd been pushed down by Steve. He was just lying there tiredly, chest heaving hard as he practically gulped in breaths. 

Steve rolled his eyes as he thought snidely, drama queen much, Hargrove?   
"Everything's fine Coach!" He assured, extending his hand to the blonde who looked way too out of breath for a little shove to the ground. 

"Don't look that way to me! Come on guys, lock it up! We've gotta get this right or else I'm gonna have to extend our practice sessions just to keep you girls on the same page! This is a team sport; leave your egos at the door!" 

Steve rolled his eyes at Bell's little speech as Billy grasped his hand firmly, accepting Harrington's help. He got himself up with much difficulty, Steve noticed, but immediately ignored any concerns he had. Fuck Billy Hargrove, he thought before shoving the boy back with a a stiff grunt. Billy actually blinked in surprise. 

"What? I just helped you up, that's all it is. Don't get clingy on me now Hargrove." He sneered with an evil sort of grin that was meant to cause damage or evoke some type of emotion. He stomped past the blonde, intentionally knocking shoulders with him for added intimidation. Billy Hargrove wanted to play ball, so that was exactly what Harrington was prepared to give him. It took him a while to notice it, but Steve eventually realized that Billy had never seen that side of him that was at times worse than even him. Steve was no saint now that he'd saved a few kids....even though he wanted to be. He was just turning over a new leaf when Billy had to go and fuck shit up. 

So now, his was what he deserved. The old Steve who broke Jonathan's expensive camera, the old Steve who encouraged the 'slut' moniker of his then girlfriend, Nancy and the guy who'd been too absorbed with himself to care about the fact that Barb died at his place. Billy Hargrove didn't know just how cruel he could be; and Steve couldn't wait to show him. 

Practice went on for the next hour with Steve constantly bumping into Billy forcefully, the King taking pleasure in all the pained grunts that came out of the other boy. He saw all the winces and the heavy frowns from Billy, as if he was causing him such immense pain. Steve's prime goal was to punish Hargrove; to dish out as much punishment as Billy had since he moved to Hawkins. Despite all of his attempts to rattle the boy's cage however, Steve found himself becoming increasingly annoyed by the fact that he wasn't getting much of a rise out of Billy. The blonde fucker just took all the abuse with a hard glare, but that was it. 

There was no equal and opposite reaction from the Cali boy; none of the usual Hargrove aggression that Steve had come to both hate and adore. By the time practice was over, Billy had resigned himself to the showers, leaning against the tiled walls, his chest heaving with exertion. His beautiful mane of princess-blonde hair swept down his neck, down to his shoulders in curly, wet tendrils that somehow made him seem delicate and soft. Steve stole glances at the boy out the corner of his eyes, brows creased hard at the boy's impassiveness. 

'Why the hell does he look like that?', he thought, scrubbing fingers through his luscious hair to rinse out the conditioning foam. When he glanced over again, Billy's back was turned to him, sleek with the running water that was pouring down his spine in rivulets, the stream disappearing between his firm cheeks and further down his legs. Steve shook his head, looking away just as Billy turned around. 

"Stop staring Harrington. I already told you, not queer." He suddenly says, his voice low and tired.   
Steve frowned, but felt his face light up with guilt. 

Shit. 

"Get over yourself Hargrove. You're not that special." He quickly responds, grabbing his towel to wrap around himself as Billy walks out of the showers without a single word. Steve stays in the privacy of the vacated shower stalls to change his clothes.

When he walks into the locker room area, Billy's already fully dressed, back in his tight blue jeans and white t-shirt. He's gingerly slipping on his beat up and worn down denim jacket, wincing as he does so. He glances over his shoulder at Steve, blue eyes downcast as he huffs quietly, hanging his gym bag over his shoulder to leave. 

"Still staring Harrington." 

Steve raised his eyes against the deep frown on his face to glare at the other boy, his jaw clenching.

"What're you gonna do about it?" He blurts out, all nerves at first but eventually he becomes confident and closes the distance between them in long, cocky strides. Billy backs up a bit, but only a bit as Steve pushes at his chest. 

"Do something about it Hargrove. Or are you too much of a pussy to get the job done?" 

Another hard shove. 

Still no response from Billy, which pisses Steve off to no end. He knows that Billy knows he's just trying to get a rise out of him. He's never going to rise to the bait. 

"Scared Hargrove? Huh?"

Another hard shove. 

"You probably are. It makes sense, I mean your thirteen year old sister has more balls than you do. And she's a much better person than you. You-" 

Steve barely gets the words out before a fist is connecting with his jaw, the impact sending him into the metal lockers with a loud bang. 

Ah! There's my Billy!

Steve grins gleefully, deeply satisfied that he finally got a reaction, finally got a rise out of Hargrove. He runs a hand through his silky hair smoothly, douchey smirk on his face as he straightens up. Billy's there glaring at him, gym bag forgotten on the floor as he turns his undivided attention to Harrington. He swings again but misses as Steve quickly ducks, causing his knuckles to crunch into the hard, unforgiving lockers. 

"Fuck!"

Steve takes the time to shake himself off before grabbing Billy by the hair and slamming him, face first into the lockers. He repeats the action a few times until Billy stumbles to his knees, harsh grunts filling the locker room. 

"Fight!" Someone yells out and Steve is caught off guard for a moment. He'd forgotten that almost the entire team was still there. 

Billy takes his momentary distraction and capitalizes on it. He swings a heavy arm and catches Harrington right in the face. As Steve stumbles back in surprise, Billy spears the fuck out of him and the impact has both boys crashing to the floor. It's all grunts and harsh breathing now as the two fight for dominance. 

The entire team crowds around them, chanting 'fight, fight, fight!'. There are ooh's and ahh's following every punch, every kick. The raucous is enough to bring the coach and another teacher into the locker room, the two older men parting the excited crowd of players to get to the dramatic fight scene playing out before them. 

There is blood. And bloody fists. Bloody noses. Bruised cheeks and just primal growls and snarls of heavy animosity between them. Harrington manages to reverse their positions so that he's now the one pummelling Hargrove into the ground. 

"Harrington! Hargrove! Knock it off!" Coach Bell hollers, yanking Steve off of Billy, struggling to keep him restrained. The other teacher, Mr Huxley, grabs a hold of Billy, pulling him to his feet. Steve tries to make another run at Billy but his stopped by Bell's strong grip. Billy just heaves in breaths, fixing Steve with an acidic glare, his face contorted in annoyance more than anger. 

"Principal's office, now." Bell rumbles, as the team cheers both boys in the background.

"Amusement's over, get to class!" 

Steve finds himself headed to the Principal's office with a deep satisfaction at the sight of Billy who looks broken and out of it. He smirked, the sneer reaching one corner of his face like a sinister Joker.

King Steve was back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Should've prolly been listening to Beat It, xD lol


	5. If You Told Me You Were Drowning, I Would Not Lend a Hand

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Well if you told me, you were drowning, I would not lend a hand. I've seen your face before my friend, but I don't know if you know who I am." Steve didn't know much... but he knew the new Steve would hate the old Steve, for becoming exactly what the new Steve had become. He hated uncertainty.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another chappie guys! Keep rockin'! I love the 80s btw. lol I was litsening to Eminem during this chapter for some reason, "These shoulders hold up so much, they won't budge, I'll never fall or fold up. Even if my collar bones crush or crumble, I will never stumble." Keep strong Billy! xoxo_Sam_Haine

If You Told Me You Were Drowning, I Would Not Lend a Hand

The awkward silence quickly tapered off into an uncomfortable and deafening one as Steve sat next to Billy in the Principal's office. They were both waiting for their parents to arrive as Principal Roberts made it clear that there was going to be some suspensions issued to both boys. Steve could care less about getting suspended though. He knew his parents wouldn't give a damn if he did, much too busy with their own hectic business to pay attention to him. They would most likely just admonish him in front of Roberts to save face and then go out for a bland dinner to "deal" with the stress he'd caused them. Because he knew the number one rule with Mr and Mrs Harrington; don't ever make them take unnecessary breaks from their busy working schedule. The minute the meeting was over, he knew they'd already be on the next plane back to Washington. So Steve simply sighed as he sat there opposite Roberts, as if this were all some sort of insignificant inconvenience. 

Billy, on the other hand was vibrating with nervous energy, as he sat there, head down, teeth absently chewing on his thumbnail. Neil was gonna be so damn pissed that today could only end with Billy being beaten into a bloody pulp and then being thrown out of the house for the night. He just knew it. Being called away from work was one thing, but being called away to deal with the shit Billy had put himsef in, was just the thing to set Neil Hargrove off again. The man could be quite unforgiving when it came to his fuck up of a son. So no, Billy didn't feel the same nonchalance as Harrington did about this whole situation. Even though he hadn't started the fight in the first place, he knew the repercussions for a student like him versus a student like Harrington. 

Steve's parents were filthy rich and had made thousands of dollars in contribution to Hawkins high over the years. Their precious son had become golden boy at the school, being their star player at basketball championships. Billy? He'd just moved to Hawkins. His father hadn't made much contributions to the school than what was actually required and although he was making waves on the basketball team, he didn't win them any big playoffs yet. He had nothing to save him from the situation he was in; just had to accept the fact that life was always gonna be a bitch to him til the day he died. He knew how these things worked. 

There was a knock on the door as Principal Roberts called for whoever to come into the office. Billy visibly paled when he saw his father walk in, staring at him and Steve with steely eyes and a hard set jaw, his frown deep and menacing. Steve's parents followed with faces made up of plastic concern and displeasure. Steve gave them a silent nod as they sat next to him. Billy tried his damnest to avoid Neil's cold glare, blue eyes down in his lap.

"What the hell is going on here?" That was Neil.

"What's going on with my boy?" That was Mrs Harrington.

"Ah, I'm glad everyone could make it." Roberts began, an uneasy smile on his face as he met Neil's stare. There's an awkward silence before Roberts continues. 

"There's been an altercation. Both of your sons were involved. Now from what I understand, Coach Bell and Mr Huxley were able to stop it before it could get worse. Now, you know Hawkins has a zero tolerance policy when it comes to fights on school grounds." 

"Mr Roberts, our son has been going to Hawkins for years without any complaints or misconduct of any sort." Mrs Harrington starts, resting a gentle hand on Steve's shoulder. Billy raised an unimpressed brow at the typical rich kid defense.

"I know that for a fact Mrs Harrington, but-" Roberts began again but this time Neil cut him off.

"But what?" He says sharply, the aggravated edge in his tone making Billy flinch.

"According to Coach Bell, Steve was the one who provoked the altercation."

"Steve?" The question in Neil's voice had Billy cold sweating now.

Shit! That was probably the last name his father had expected to hear. He'd specifically beat it into Billy that he wanted him to stay the hell away from Steve. The revelation of Steve's identity to Neil would only bode terrible consequences. The man would kill Harrington....okay maybe 'kill' was a bit strong, but Billy was starting to have his doubts about how far his father would go to make sure his son didn't turn into some faggot. He'd definitely beat Harrington's ass and then Billy would be next. 

"No." 

Everyone in the room turned to stare at him, Neil included. He could feel the hot glare of his father, the cool, uninterested frowns of Steve's parents and the electric confusion from Steve himself. He closed his eyes briefly, trying to convince himself that this was the right thing to do. It would take Harrington off of his father's radar; but it would also be to his detriment. He sighed, running a hand through his blonde curls. 

"No. It wasn't him. I started the fight.... I provoked him." 

Even though he couldn't see the man's face, he could feel his cheeks burn as Neil's glare intensified. 

"But I saw-" Coach Bell began but Billy quickly cut him off, becoming irritated as Neil kept staring at him. God, he hated feeling so weak and helpless because of that man!

"I know what you saw. I provoked Harrington....we, ...he was leaving the locker room when I punched him. I started the fight." 

There was an annoying, knowing huff from Steve's mother as she crossed her arms in that stuck up, obnoxiously rich way. 

"I knew it! You see Mr Roberts? Our son was only trying to defend himself from this bully. He wasn't starting a fight." 

She earned a stiff nod from Steve's father who looked like he'd rather be anywhere else but there. 

Coach Bell eyed Billy suspiciously but the boy pointedly ignored his stares. He felt his father's hand on his shoulder, digging in painfully. Roberts swung his attention to Steve, who was still sitting there confused as ever. He quickly schooled his face however when the focus shifted to him. 

"Is this true Steve?" 

Big brown doe eyes slid carefully over to blue ones that narrowed pleadingly at him. The signal they sent; say yes! Keep up the lie! Don't let me down Harrington! He sighed, receiving the message loud and clear. 

"Yeah- uh, I mean, yes sir. That's exactly what happened." He answered, shifting uncomfortably in his seat to straighten up under Neil's withering gaze. He understood then, why Billy had been so adamant about him meeting his father. The man was intimidating! 

"Well, I guess there will be no need for disciplinary action against your son, Mr and Mrs Harrington." Roberts announced after the awkward silence in the room had eventually dissipated. He turned to Billy and Neil. 

"You on the other hand Billy, will be suspended for three school days. Which means the next time we see you on Hawkins' compound is next week Thursday. Is that understood?" 

"Yes sir." Billy muttered, his voice small and nervous. 

...............

The silence in the truck was palpable as Billy slid in the passenger side, barely getting the door closed properly before Neil floored the gas pedal, screeching off and out of Hawkins High. He could feel his goddamn heart in his throat as he sat there, unsure ....uncertain of what to do or even say that could save himself from the beating he was destined for when they got home. His chest heaved painfully, a memory of the last beating he'd received at Neil's hands. God, he was in so much trouble! He had to say something! 

"Dad-" he began, his voice small.

"Shut up, boy!" Neil snarled, taking a hard left onto their street. 

He closed his eyes, trying to find some kind of calm. Okay, so a beating was imminent. Just a few punches here and a dozen kicks to the gut there. He's been through the same damn thing so many times, he should honestly be used to it by now. He scratched at his face, feeling the dry, cracked blood cake under his nails; blood from his fight with Harrington. 

When the truck screeched to a halt, Neil got out first, slamming the door hard enough to make the whole damn vehicle shudder. Billy shivered too, meekly pouring himself out of the passenger side, following Neil into the house. He'd barely gotten past the threshold before Neil's knuckles crunched into his jaw. He grunted as he fell, crashing hard into the floor. 

"I told you to stay away from him." His father scathed, looking down on him like some great super villain. To Billy, that's exactly what Neil Hargrove was. He didn't even try to defend himself, because after lying about who started the fight first, what could he say? It seemed as if he'd actively sought out Harrington just to get some action. And even though it wasn't 'that' kind of action, he'd still gone after Steve. He still broke his father's rule. 

"You never listen!" 

A stiff kick to his chest had him gasping out for breath as he curled up around himself. But that only meant that his back was open for more punishment and that's exactly what Neil's hard boot went for. He coughed, tasting the blood in his mouth and couldn't help but sneer to himself. The thought of getting his ass kicked all day seemed funny in that moment. First Harrington and now Neil. 

"You think this is funny boy?" 

He braces himself for another kick to the back but Neil's already changed positions and is hitting him with another swift boot to the chest. Pain explodes in that region and he groans, a sickening feeling of dread flooding his entire body. God, he hoped nothing cracked, he thought as a punch landed in his temple. His vision got blurry then, and his hearing became all stuffy as if he had cotton in his ears. 

"Billy I sw-" 

He distinctly hears the chain at the front door rattle and a familiar voice. Susan is his first thought and he grimaces as he sees Max enter his peripheral. Neil is saying something to them but Max is just staring down at him with wide blue eyes. He tries to get up but suddenly can't. Like he's lost the ability to move his limbs and even breathe. She shouldn't see him like this! He goes for another attempt and that's when he feels his chest give out. He's groaning in pain and gasping for breath. 

What the hell was happening to him?

Max's teary face is the last thing he sees before he blacks out. 

................

"Can I go see him today?" 

That would be the fifth time Max asked her mother to see Billy who'd been admitted to Hawkins hospital on Friday night. And the fifth time Susan shook her head with a sad "no". It was Sunday now and she couldn't understand why she wasn't allowed to see her ....brother. The situation was pretty scary when she and her mom had returned home from school, to find Billy gasping for breath on the floor and an extremely red-faced Neil looking at them in shock. She ignored his stuttering explanation then, running to Billy instead, tears in her eyes, begging him to snap out of it. He didn't....couldn't. And Max had never been so scared in her entire life. 

Neil had called an ambulance that came in fifteen minutes, whisking Billy away. The EMT had asked Neil to accompany them and he did so grudgingly. Max just remembered standing there in shock....scared. She remembers being scared out of her damn mind. Her mother spouted the vague explanation that Neil had given her, but Max couldn't find it in her heart to pay attention. She was too worried about if Billy was going to be okay. 

Now as she sat quietly on her bed, Susan sitting right next to her, she wanted to hear it. To really listen.

"What happened again?" She asked softly, looking down at her shaking hands, intertwining her fingers to stop the shaking. It didn't work. 

"Oh, sweetie. Billy got in a fight at school and his injuries worsened by the time Neil brought him home." Susan said gently, stroking a hand through her daughter's fiery hair. 

"Why can't I see him?" She demanded, pulling away from her mother's hand. 

"Max-"

"No! He's been in the hospital since Friday! Why can't we go see him now?" She yelled, getting up from the bed and stomping her way over to her dresser. 

"Because Neil says he needs his rest, Maxine." Susan answers and Max wants to scream. 

"I don't care what he says! I hate him! I want to go see my brother!" 

The words come out harsh, choppy and raw. And has Susan sitting there like a fish out of water, opening and closing her mouth but not forming words. This was the first time she'd actually heard the words out loud; 'brother'. She always thought Max and Billy hated each other, hell, she knew Billy hated her. But to see such raw emotions on her daughters face for the boy, well, Susan didn't know how to feel about that. 

"You don't really hate Neil do you sweetie?" She finally said, gauging the look on Max's face. 

The girl sighed, shaking her head.

"He treats me- us fine. I just don't like the way he treats Billy... his own kid." 

At that, Susan sighs, getting up from the bed to give Max a reassuring hug. 

"I'll ask him again okay? When he gets back from work." 

Max nods quietly, knowing Neil would say no again. 

...........

Steve growled low in his throat as Tommy and Ryan kept talking, their voices buzzing around his head like a pair of friggin bumble bees. They were giving him kudos for tanking Hargrove as Billy had been a threat to the game since he joined the team. He was a damn good player and had the rest of them looking like complete morons, Harrington included. But Steve hadn't actually meant for things to pan out the way they did. It was supposed to be him staying away from school today, not Billy. Mondays sucked ass, he thought, but today was just unbearable. 

"Okay Tommy, whatever. I get it. Hargrove's out for three days. You can shut up about it now." He snaps, throwing his white and black striped sweater over his head. Practice was over and although Steve hated to admit, it wasn't the same without Billy. He missed the competition, the challenge. The goddamn trash talking while they ran drills! Without Billy, Steve realised just how boring and bland these guys -guys he'd been friends with for a long time- actually were. 

"Woah, hey man. No need to get all offended." Tommy joked, a dumb, jerkish sneer on his dumb fucking face. Steve wanted to break it. With his special bat. 

"Yeah man, chill out alright? No need to get all defensive. I mean you are the guy who clocked him out." Ryan chimes in and walks away before Steve can punch his lights out. 

Steve is out of the locker room before he does something that really gets him suspended.

Truth was, he'd started to feel very, very guilty for what he did. And how he acted. Picking on Hargrove was a douchey thing to do, no matter if he was an utter pain in the ass. So Billy said something mean to him, so what? Steve's dealt with much more horrible things than that. Billy couldn't even come close to a Demogorgon. Or could he? Cos maybe that was the reason why Steve was feeling so shitty today. 

'God Hargrove,' he thought, 'it's like you're nowhere but everywhere today.'

He sighed, walking to last period with his head down. 

...........

At two o' clock, he picks up Dustin and the rest of the party, along with Max. He frowns in surprise.

"Hey Max, need a ride?" 

Dustin taps him on the shoulder, smiling and showing off his pearls. 

"We need to go to the hospital. We figured you'd take us there since your love life is basically non-existent at this point." 

Steve gaped for a minute, taking offense before he just rolled his eyes. 

"Okay one, that was presumptuous of you. And two, why are we going to the hospital? Will's not sick again is he?" 

The little Byers boy fixes Steve with a withering glare as do the rest of the party. 

"No, it's not me." He replies dryly. 

"Or me." Lucas and Mike say in unison. 

"It's..... it's Billy." Max finally forces out with a deep breath. She's looking down at her fidgeting hands, not daring to catch his gaze. 

Dustin is the one to break Steve out of his momentary daze. 

"Hey man, you good?" He asks, snapping his fingers loudly in front of Steve's face. Steve shakes his head before slapping Dustin's hand out of the way. 

"Billy? What happened to him?" 

The way Max closed in on herself told Steve that she didn't want to talk about it in front of everyone. He could respect that, because it wasn't that she didn't trust them. It was more the fact that she couldn't find the will to talk about it with anyone. Not yet anyway.

He simply starts the engine and drives off, blood roaring in his ears, nothing but Hargrove on his mind. 

................

When they get to the hospital, Steve makes the kids sit in the waiting room -with the exception of Max- before hastily making it to the very bored looking receptionist at the front desk. 

"Uh, hi. Can you tell me which room Billy Hargrove is in?" 

The woman fixes Steve with a sharp glare.

"And you are?" 

Steve gulps. "A friend." 

She looks unimpressed as she looks down at some papers.

"Yah, no. He's been listed for 'Family Members Only'." 

He nods and then introduces Max.

"This is his sister, Maxine." 

The woman eyes Max with narrowed eyes and then goes back to consulting her papers. She nods approvingly then. 

"Yah, we got a Maxine and Susan Mayfield here."

"That's my mom." Max offers uncomfortably. 

The woman just nods again.

"Well, you kids are just in time. Visiting hours start in ten. Room 27." 

..............

When three o' clock strikes, Max is out of her seat and making a beeline for the elevator. Steve and the boys rush to catch up before she leaves them behind. 

"Woah, Max, hey. Slow down alright?" Steve tells her gently, stroking her hair soothingly as she crashes into him, raw with emotion. 

"It's gonna be okay. He's gonna be okay." Lucas murmurs, patting her shoulder reassuringly. She turns to Lucas and offers him a strong smile that has him thinking, yeah, nothing can keep his Madmax down. Sinclair can feel his entire face light up as she hugs him and then lets go, squaring her shoulders as the elevator stops at floor 12. 

Steve just stares in awe at the young boy as he comforts Max, the fact that it was Billy they were going to visit not even bothering him in the slightest. His heart swells with pride, like a proud parent and he suddenly feels like himself again. The real Steve who protected children from petal-faced monsters from another dimension and the honourable Steve who loved his girlfriend enough to let her go. 

He steps into Hargrove's room with that refreshing mind-set, ready to make things right.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for the encouraging words and support. You guys rock!


	6. Only Then I Am Human, Only Then I Am Clean

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> No matter how much Steve begrudgingly embraced his new self, he would rather die than go back to his old ways. That wasn't him anymore. Billy on the other hand, loved being stuck.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Rollercoaster of a chapter here. I've been terribly busy all week with final assignments and essays. But I had to do this today for you lot. Absolutely love love love the dynamic between these two boys! Harringrove gives me life I tell you! Enjoy! xoxo Sam_Haine

Only Then I Am Human, Only Then I Am Clean

The nurse had given him some pretty heavy painkillers and he was sure the morphine from Friday night hadn't left his system yet, as the group of kids tumbled into his room, Max and Harrington in tow. Billy was dreaming; he had to be. His eyes slowly blinked open as he craned his neck upwards to make out the faces properly. There was Max with her stupidly worried face. Mike and Will who always seemed to blend into the same person for him; they looked slightly less worried. And then there was Dustin and Lucas, who were staring down at him with a sort of professional curiosity that made him shiver. He didn't know much about Lucas but he was genuinely afraid of that Henderson kid. He was super weird and liked science experiments. He felt his face burn with shame as he and Lucas locked eyes, making the boy jump back a little. 

"Please tell me I'm dreaming." He slurred, as Max came closer to the side of his bed. 

"Afraid not." Harrington says and it makes Billy want to puke. 

What the hell was he doing here?! God, couldn't he take a goddamn hint? Harrington was trouble, no matter how much Billy actually liked the guy! Neil would kill him if he knew Harrington was here. He could feel his chest begin to constrict as he gasped out for air. The nurse had just taken out the ventilator tube that had been shoved down his throat for two days; he felt like he needed it again. 

Realizing that Billy was starting to convulse, Steve pulled the kids away and called for help. God, he thought, this was not going the way he'd planned. A doctor and two nurses rushed to the room, attending to the now hyperventilating Billy as Steve rounded up the kids and dragged them back to the waiting lounge on the floor they were on. They all looked genuinely scared and he could see that Max was clearly shaken up. Lucas stayed right next to her, holding her hand as she wiped a few stray tears from her face. 

"Alright, you guys stay here, I'll go talk to the doctor." He said in a voice that demanded compliance. The kids just nodded, turning their focuses to comforting Max instead. 

Steve gulped audibly as he approached the old, grey-haired man in the white coat. He'd just stepped out of Billy's room. 

"Hey Doc," He greeted, nervously waving his hand awkwardly. 

The man peered at him over the top of his thinly framed glasses. 

"Hello there. I'm Doctor Cochrane."

"Uh, Harrington. I'm actually here with Billy's sister, but uh ...I don't think it's cool for her to see him like this. She's just thirteen." Steve replied, shaking the man's proffered hand. He didn't know what else to say.

"Ah, Mr Harrington, you're quite right."

"What happened in there?" He blurted out, not really in the mood for pleasantries. He just wanted to know what the hell was going on. 

Cochrane sighed.

"Mr Hargrove's got what we call a sternal fracture. Well, multiple fractures in his case. Your presence must have shocked him and he overreacted. Its common for all trauma patients."

"Trauma patients?" 

Steve pales as Cochrane leads him away from in front of Billy's room to a more private spot in the corner of the lounge. Steve can still keep an eye on the kids from this distance. He keeps his attentions focussed on Cochrane as he continues.

"Now, sternal fractures are caused by blunt force trauma to the chest usually from the impact of a crashing car." 

"Billy hasn't been in any accidents recently. I mean, not to my knowledge." Steve interjects, folding his arms to keep himself upright. 

Cochrane nods fervently.

"Yes, I know. His father notified us that he'd been in a serious fight with someone from school." 

Steve froze at that. 

Wait. 

Wait. Just. A. Fucking. Minute- was Billy in the hospital because of him? The thought had Steve feeling nauseous and just plain sick at the revelation. He tried to school his expression as he stood silently in front of Cochrane with his thumb finger between his teeth. His other hand was busy carding through his hair nervously. 

"A....a fight?" He finally choked out, trying hard not to break the doctor's deductive stare. 

"Yes. According to his father, Billy didn't show any signs of exertion at school but when he arrived at his house, he collapsed and couldn't breathe." 

Steve frowned hard. He'd only punched Billy in the face. In his stupid, smug face! If anything, Billy had been the one to spear him in the middle body region; Steve should be in the hospital right now! Not that he was wishing for it. But the chances of him being the reason for Billy's current condition seemed pretty low. Green nausea passed through his body in waves and he began to sweat under the attention of his own microscope. 

"His Dad said that?" He asked dumbly, his voice weak and shaky.

Cochrane nodded.

"Yes, that's what he said. It's all in the report. Now, since I can rule out a vehicular accident, the only other impact that would cause this kind of damage would be an extremely hard and swift kick to the sternum. I-," The sound of a beeping pager interrupted them both. 

"I'm sorry Mr Harrington, if you will excuse me, I must attend to another matter." 

"Wait!" Steve called just as the man began to walk away. He stopped. 

"Yes?" 

"Can he still have visitors or is he done for the day?" 

Cochrane smiled curtly.

"I'm sorry Mr Harrington, he cannot. Once his condition is stable you can. The receptionist will be the first to notify his family." 

Steve raised an unimpressed brow at that; Max was gonna be so pissed. 

..........

Getting Max to calm down after he told her what Cochrane had told him, was easier said than done. She glared out the window angrily with her arms folded tight as Steve drove the kids home from the hospital. The car was filled with an uneasy silence that had him on a serious edge. He could still see images in his mind flashing bright and blue before his eyes. The way Billy's eyes had widened when they met his own, before he panicked himself into a goddamn attack of convulsions. The way Max had begun to sob as he whisked her and the rest of the rugrats out of the room. Steve shook his head, trying to focus on the road instead. 

When he slowed his car down in front of the Hargrove house, he quickly got out to catch Max before she could run to the door. 

"Hey, Max- wait!" He called, reaching for her shoulder. 

She brushed him off with a fierce "what?!" He backed away, both hands in the air. He frowned at the unshed tears in her eyes, not sure if he sympathized or empathized with her. Billy was never an easy topic for him to deal with either. 

"Look, I'm sorry about what happened. But Dr Cochrane said we could visit when he's stable again. Okay? And when that time comes, I'll be there with the gang for you. Okay?"

Max shakes her head, a scoff on her lips as she looks towards the house. 

"And how will we know when it's okay to see him? Because if they call and his Dad answers the phone? I might never get to see him again. Not until he's out anyway." 

Steve frowns, sighing as he glances back at Dustin and Lucas who blink and wave back at them as they observe the scene through the window. 

"You know I'm getting the feeling that his Dad's a total douche." He jokes, in a feeble attempt to lighten the mood, for Max's sake. She scoffs again, but it's lighter this time, a little smile on her face. He counts that as a success. 

"He is... doesn't want me to go see him. And today was my only chance since my mom gets home late so she lets me take the bus. I won't be able to see him until next week." She reveals to Steve in a quiet tone. He shakes his head, not sure about what to say to that. 

"Hey, how about I go there tomorrow and find out when's the next time he's allowed to have visitors?" He offers, feeling his heart twitch a little as she looks up at him sharply, a glint of bright hope in her eyes. 

"I'll just ask them and that way, they won't have to call. Huh? How's that?" His face is cracked into a dumb smirk, he knows that; but its worth the way Max's smile just widens until she lets out a liberated chuckle, that sounded a lot like relief. 

"Okay." She says, nodding fervently. "We can do that." 

Steve feels accomplished for the rest of the ride home. Until...

Dread sets in as he realizes that Billy's in the hospital.... because of him. 

******

"Hey Margaret." 

The voice sounded extremely young and Margaret Keilhauer rolled her eyes at the sad attempt at "smooth", knowing it was most likely meant to sway her. 

"Yes?" She sighed, glancing up from the computer screen in front of her. The teenage boy at her desk stood there with one arm laid coolly on the desk's surface, an easy smile on his face and his hair in a beautiful mess that probably made the girls at his school swoon. 

Not Margaret though. 

The boy took off his shades, grinning again in a sleazy attempt at looking cool. 

"Name's Harrington. Steve Harrington." He introduced, offering his hand to which Margaret just raised an unimpressed brow, chewing her gum absently. 

"What do you want kid?" She sighed tiredly, not in the mood for douchebags at the moment. 

Steve, or whatever, grimaced before leaning off the counter. 

"Okay first of all, I'm not a kid. And second, I just need some information." He replied hotly, composing himself by carding a hand through his perfectly messy brunette locks. 

Margaret almost laughed outright. Almost.

"Okay, Steve. What kind of information?" 

"You have a patient by the name of Billy Hargrove. Yesterday I was here with his sister and he... he freaked out or something... and they had to stabilize him. I'm just wondering when he's allowed to have visitors again." 

Margaret narrowed her eyes at him suspiciously but then caved and checked the hospital database. She saw the name Hargrove and clicked on the patient's information. Turned out the Steve kid wasn't lying. She sighed.

"Yeah, he's been cleared for visitors. I'm supposed to notify his parents-" 

"Uh, no. I mean, ...heh, that's kinda why I'm here."

Margaret raised another brow at him; a silent "go on" for him to explain himself. 

"Well, see, ...their line's been down for a few days now ...and uh, Neil and Susan asked me to find out when Billy's been cleared for them." 

Steve could feel his face growing hotter by the second as Margaret kept staring silently at him. It was as if she could see right through him... right through the terrible lie. He'd honestly just come up with it on the spot. God Harrington you're such a-

"Okay, Mr Harrington. Just make sure to remind them that they have to see Dr. Cochrane when they visit next, to talk about Billy's condition."

Steve's brows shot into his hairline. That easy?

"Really?" He blurted out before he could stop himself from talking. 

Margaret frowned warily at him. 

He shook his head quickly. 

"I mean, uh, thanks. I'll make sure to let them know."

Margaret nodded almost sarcastically at him like she knew that he was lying through his teeth. God, how were women so good at that, he thought. He fixed her with a corny wink before he headed to the elevators, hearing Dustin in his head telling him to stop winking. He scoffed as the silver doors slid open. 

***

The elevator dinged at the twelfth floor and suddenly Steve was nervous. His false bravado for Margaret the receptionist had quickly melted away with every floor he'd passed and now... he felt extremely nervous. The doors slid open and he walked out of that claustrophobic box and into the open hallways of floor 12. The smell of alcohol and medicine did nothing to help with his frazzled state as he headed towards room 27. 

By the time he got there, Steve was ready to turn tail and head back down to the ground floor. At least there, he could regain some kind of composure. Cos Margaret wasn't half as unnerving as Billy Hargrove. Hell, the last time he'd seen the guy, he'd beaten the crap out of him in the locker rooms and had allowed him to be wrongfully suspended. Steve bit his thumb finger anxiously before peering through the slightly shaded window of Billy's room. 

Billy was awake, that much he could tell. The bed was raised slightly to give his back support but not so much that he was sitting upright. That term "sternal fracture" came back to Steve and he could just feel the shame rolling off of himself in waves. He'd done that. He'd done that to Billy and there was no changing that fact. He could see the way the sun shone on the boy's messy head of blonde curls from the window across the room, giving him an almost angelic glow. It was super weird, but Steve thought he looked amazing in that light. And he just sat there, about three magazines sitting unopened and unread on the white table beside him. 

Doing nothing. 

Just breathing. And silent. 

Steve almost didn't want to intrude on the other boy's peace; he looked so small and reserved just sitting there by himself. Nothing like the brash, loud and obnoxious Billy Steve was used to. No. This was a new Billy that sat quietly in abject solitude, with only his thought for company. His eyes -those goddamn deepwater blue eyes- were heavy, either with sleep or as an after effect of the morphine he'd been given. God, he almost looked cute. 

But Steve hastily shook the thought from his mind before knocking twice on the door. There was silence on the other side so he opened it anyway, his heart rate picking up again. He hoped against hope Billy didn't have another attack again. 

"The hell are you doing here Harrington?" Came the harsh demand through a low and exhausted tone. 

Billy was tired. 

And so was Steve; so he refused to rise to the bait, opting instead to pull up a chair to sit beside Hargrove's bed. They sat there in a charged silence; Billy, prone on the hospital bed, IV needle in his arm and Steve, hunched over in the chair, elbows digging into his knees, chin on his clasped knuckles. The minutes ticked on by, one by one and still, neither of them said a word. The electric charge of the silence began a gradual tapering off into something that was akin to a quiet comfort where Steve and Billy could hear each other breathing. 

Still, no one talked. 

It really was an amazing feat, their silence. 

It was probably a whole hour lost between them before Steve caved. 

And he caved hard;

...said he was sorry. 

"I... I didn't... Billy I swear." He whispered. 

And he'd expected Billy to laugh in his face. To take a swing at him or to spit out harsh words at him. To scream at him and tell him how much of an asshole he was. That he was exactly the bully and the inconsiderate bastard that Nancy once believed him to be. And how he was really King Steve, with a lack of compassion and care; King Steve who didn't give a crap about the people he'd hurt. 

But the blonde remained silent. 

Just continued watching him with sad, drug-heavy eyes that seemed to see right through him. And God that made him mad! It seemed like everyone he spoke to lately had the power to see right through his facade, as if he were made of glass. And wasn't that something?

He'd screwed up royally with Nancy... and when she left him for Johnathan, that hurt the most. Because he really was trying to be better. To be a better person for her; to make her fucking proud. And then what happened? He screwed up again. Before Billy- heck- before everyone in the little town they called Hawkins, Nancy had been the one person who could see through him and could tell when he was hurting or when he was putting up a front to hide from his fears. And he'd really appreciated that kind of support. When Johnathan happened, that all sort of went away and now he was left with no shield. No protection from himself. 

Or from Billy. 

Looking up, he locked eyes with the boy and could feel his stomach pull uncomfortably. There it was; that soul searching look, piercing him through and through. Steve would cry a river of tears before ever letting Billy know how much he was affecting him right now. But he'd cry an ocean if he never apologized for becoming what he hated the most; himself. 

"I'm sorry." He murmured again, head in his hands now, elbows still resting steady on his knees. 

He heard Billy sigh quietly. 

"Not your fault Harrington." 

Steve slowly raised his gaze from the floor to Billy, only to see the boy watching out the sun-sparkled window. And God, the way his blue eyes lit up when the light refracted in those azure orbs... 

Steve shook his head.

"But it is. If I hadn't.... if I-" He began, only to have Billy cut him off. 

"If you hadn't what? What exactly do you think happened?" The tone wasn't condescending nor was it mean or nasty.... it just sounded tired. 

"You're... Billy, you're in here because of me." Steve tried again, getting up from his chair to pace the room with his arms folded like a worried parent. 

Billy rolled his eyes at the antics.

"Don't flatter yourself Harrington. This wasn't you." 

"But the fight-" 

"Like I said. Don't flatter yourself. Our little pissing contest barely left a scratch on me." 

"But your Dad-" Steve started only to have Billy glare sharply up at him, the first real show of emotion from Hargrove for the day. 

"What about my Dad?" He growled lowly. 

Steve paused for a minute, noticing that Billy was quickly reverting into his usual demeanor.

"Nothing."

"Harrington."

"He told the doctors that you'd gotten those sternal fractures from a fight with someone at school." 

Billy grew silent at that, looking away, back to that stupid, sunshiny window where his eyes looked like dreamy jewels... precious stones that people could only dream of. Steve sat back down in the chair, careful not to agitate the other boy. 

"Coward." Billy muttered, more to himself than Steve. 

"What?" Steve asked.

"Nothing. It wasn't your fault. You can go now." 

Steve spluttered in confusion.

"Wha-" 

"I said you can go now! Or does the King not take orders from anyone?" Billy spat, his aggressive nature emerging. He moved to sit up straight but fell right back down as a sore pain bloomed in the center of his chest. He grunted in pain as Steve suddenly appeared by his side, careful hands on his shoulder to help him. He roughly shoved him off. 

"Get off me!" He snarled. 

Steve closed his eyes and breathed in deeply, calming himself. The last thing this situation needed was anger. Billy had enough anger for the two of them. 

He took a step back and sat back on the chair, waiting patiently for Billy's breathing to return to some kind of normalcy as he panted heavily. His IV'ed hand came up to clutch at his chest as if to feel exactly where was fractured. Steve felt a twinge of sympathy. 

"I can call the doctors." He offered quietly but was met with a sharp "no!". 

More staccato silence accented by harsh panting.

Steve had actually consulted his father's library the night before and had read up on sternal fractures. Call it curiosity or whatever, but he wanted to get a real idea of what Billy was dealing with. And how he had caused it to happen by pushing Hargrove in that locker room. He'd come across a few recommendations for dealing with such fractures as well. And from the way Billy was breathing, he deduced that it was doing more damage to the fractures instead of healing them. 

"You have to calm down." He muttered, keeping his eyes on the floor. 

"What?" Came the laboured response. 

"Try calming down, breathing slower. Deeper. It won't put as much strain on your chest. It won't hurt so much either." 

"Shut up Harrington." Billy retorted but out of the corner of Steve's eyes, he could see the boy begin to slow his breathing, relaxing back down into the hospital bed. His hand was still clutching his chest weakly by the time he calmed down. 

"How do you even know that shit?" 

Steve snorted, slightly amused.

"Read up on it last night." 

Billy's raised brow made him continue.

"Look, I thought that if I was the one who did this to you then I should at least know about what it was. And how I could help you g..." He tapered off when Billy narrowed his eyes at him.

"How many times do I have to tell you? You didn't fuck me up Harrington. So you can get over your little moping session."

"Then who did?!" Steve erupted, his frustrations getting the better of him. When Billy stayed silent with his stupid mouth clamped shut, he went on.

"Who messed you up then Hargrove? Tell me!" 

"Why?" Billy growled.

"Because if you don't then I swear to God I'll go and turn myself in to the cops!" 

There was a sharp pause that Billy thought was comedic.

"What the hell are you going on about man?" He demanded, confusion clouding his eyes.

Steve sighed, exasperated. Like an overreacting girlfriend. 

"It's only a matter of time before your Dad presses charges against me for putting you in the hospital. And I can accept responsibility for what I did but I didn't want to leave-" 

Steve paused abruptly when Hargrove started laughing. And it wasn't just his usual predatory chuckle. No. It was an all-out busting-his-gut cackling laughter that soon had him clutching his chest in pain. His eyes crinkled with the effort until he calmed himself down, mumbling a quiet "shit, fuck, ow" at the physical pain his laughter caused. 

"This funny to you?" Steve questioned, rolling his eyes as Billy fixed him with a glare. 

"Watch the attitude Princess." 

Steve shook his head.

"And yeah, it's funny. My Dad's not gonna press charges. Trust me."

"Why?" 

"Becau- what are you deaf? You didn't break my fucking chest man! He-" Billy just barely saved himself but the slip-up was out there. He winced as Steve frowned at him, trying to finish the sentence. The uncomfortable silence ended way too soon.

"Who did this to you?" Came the quiet, solitary question. And Billy hated how it didn't even sound like a question. Steve sounded like he'd figured it out already; which pissed him off even more.

Steve wasn't looking at him anymore, his blank stare trained on the white hospital floor. His brown doe-eyes were shaded by his glorious hair that did this endearing thing; falling over his face, lending him an air of mystery and awe. He was quietly chewing his lower lip until it became slightly swollen and bright pink. Billy thought he was strikingly beautiful for a short second. He quickly shoved those feelings away by putting on an ugly scowl, fixing his glare on the window with the sunlight. 

"He- ...He didn't mean it." He murmured, pulling the white blanket tightly around him. God, this was uncomfortable. To his surprise, there was a small, wounded sound from Steve that had Billy turning back to look at him. 

Fuck.

Steve had slicked his hair back with shaking hands, out of his face. He sat there in a dejected pile, looking like a kicked puppy. 

"Your- ...your Dad did this?" 

His voice was small and creaky, filled with emotion Billy was positive he didn't deserve. He didn't want anyone's pity either. He clenched his jaw.

"Harrington I swear to God, if you say a word about this I'll kill you myself." He hissed. 

Steve glared up at him.

"You can't possibly expect me to ignore this."

Billy curled his lip in that Hargrove way he always did whenever he felt like being exceptionally nasty. 

"I'll kill you Harrington. Don't. Do. It." 

Steve shook his head, combing through that stupidly amazing hair again. 

"Does Max know?" He suddenly asked, hard frown meeting Billy's cold glare.

"No. And we're gonna keep it that way." 

A sudden realization dawns upon Steve and it makes him sick to his stomach.

"That day.... at your place, after the phone call. Those bruises-" 

Billy looked away again, scoffing with a colourless smile. God, this was the last thing he needed right now. He could feel himself grow cold with anxiety as Steve walked to the sunny window, hands in his hair.

"What'd you say to him anyway? He suddenly thought I was a raging faggot after that call." Billy scoffed, spewing humorless commentary in an attempt to make light of the conversation. 

It failed.

"I messed up." Steve states, his voice tight. He's biting the tip of his thumb as he stares blankly out the window. All the colour seemed to drain out of him and now he stood like a marble statue in the room. Billy was genuinely worried.

"Look man, wha-" 

"I'm sorry." Steve cut him off. "I'm.... I screwed up."

"Steve."

"Nancy called that night."

"Steve." 

"She.... we were talking about homework assignments or something like that."

"Steve."

"We got into it and I.... I wanted her to give me another chance. I begged her ....and she-" 

"Steve!" Billy finally snapped, a small soreness blossoming in his chest from the outburst. 

Steve broke out of his trance, moving to sit beside Billy. 

On the bed.

"Get off Harr-" Billy began but shut up when Steve got in his face.

"No, you don't understand. I messed up. I called you after that fight with Nancy... and I-" He paused momentarily, hoping Billy would refrain from punching him in the face. 

"I ...said I needed you." He admitted, feeling his cheeks grow hot under Hargrove's attention. He saw Billy's fist clench and scurried back to his chair, out of punching range. He could feel the tension radiating from the blonde. 

"No wonder he was so angry." Was all he said, tilting his head back to rest on the pillow. He suddenly felt terribly exhausted. 

"But he had no right to beat up on you for that. It should've been me. I was the one who screwed up." Steve tries again but Billy just dismisses him. 

"Trust me pretty boy, you wouldn't have walked away from that." 

"Is that why you lied to Principal Roberts?"

"Goddammit Harrington-"

"Tell me Hargrove!" 

"God, fine, yes!" Billy spat begrudgingly. "Yes okay? That what you wanna hear? Then yes! You wanna blame yourself for this? Don't. I wasn't doing it for you. If my Dad had found out that you were the one who started the fight, he would've ended you. I lied, but I didn't do it for you. Just wanted it all to be over." 

He finished that part with a softer tone, tired of how all this had spiralled out of control. He didn't want Harrington to be scarred for life or whatever. But the pretty boy looked visibly sick and pale now. 

"Hey." He called, with that same soft, careful tone, waving his hand haphazardly in front of Harrington's face.

"It's okay man." 

"No it's not." Steve shot back with much more venom than Billy had ever expected from him. 

"He should be in jail right now. Hopper would end him." 

Billy just sat there, listening to the boy rant for a full five minutes. When he was done, Billy simply said, "Like I said, I'll kill you if you say a word Harrington." 

Their intense stare-down was suddenly interrupted by a nurse who pushed past the door with a silver cart. Lunch time, Billy thought with a grimace. Steve remained quiet as she checked Hargrove's IV bag, then the screen that monitored his breathing. He felt a pulse as she spoke to the other boy with soft, caring words and a brilliant smile that he matched just as easily. Typical man-whore behaviour from Billy, Steve thought with a roll of his eyes as the nurse left. Her distraction provided a good break from the heavy stuff they'd just been stewing in and Steve felt himself lighten slightly. 

"Max said she wanted to come see you, since Friday." He admits, frowning as Billy began poking at his food, narrowing his eyes suspiciously at it, as if it was going to grow fangs and eat him. "She was here yesterday." 

"I know." Billy finally replies, placing the food tray on the table at his bedside. "You and your children almost scared me to death." 

Was that a joke? 

"Yeah, you freaked out as soon as I came in." Steve chuckled in response. 

"What can I say Harrington? You make my heart stop." 

Another joke. Or was that a flirtation? 

"Max said your Dad doesn't want her to come see you." 

The mood grew sombre again. 

"It's best if she stays away." He says and it sounds like some kind of admittance. 

Steve shook his head. "She's really worried man. Scared even. C'mon, you owe her." 

Billy sighs. "Why do you care Harrington?" 

He thought, now that Steve knew he wasn't going to be charged or whatever, he would've just booked it and left Billy to his demons. The kid was filthy rich and lived in a huge fucking house with a pool and everything. He was still Hawkins Royalty even if his shine had been dimmed a little by Billy himself, along with Wheeler and Byers. He didn't need to deal with this mess any more than was necessary. 

So why was he still here then? 

"Because I owe you." 

That invasive silence filled the room again, but this time, neither boy noticed it. They were lost in the memory of that first night Steve had sat in Billy's car, stone-drunk. He'd asked something similar to what Billy was asking now. 

*Why'd you do it?* 

*I wanted you to owe me.* 

"I'm sorry that was just gay." Steve suddenly bursts out laughing and Billy finds himself unable to resist. He chuckles along with Harrington, feeling a heavy weight lift off of him for the first time in months. 

And damn, it felt good.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a warning, over the next three weeks I will hardly be posting because of exams. Final Year sucks major balls, but don't worry, I'll post whenever I can. Exams can't stop the power of Harringrove!


	7. I Want Something Just Like This

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Billy doesn't want to hurt Max. She has a heart of gold and so does Steve. But he wishes they would just stay away. But somehow, every time he tries to do that, they just keep making him like them even more. Even those little runts Max hangs with are growing on him. What the hell is going on in Hawkins?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another chappie for you Glen Coco! Lol exams have started and I'm just like ughhhhh. I've got 3 more this week so I might not be posting in a while. Love the feedback and support guys! You people are awesome! Much love, Sam_Haine

I Want Something Just Like This

Much to Billy's utter disappointment, he'd been forced to stay in that damn hospital for the next two weeks for 'observation', according to Dr Cochrane. He sat there on the cold bed dejectedly as the grey haired man talked to his father who was extremely good at putting on a show of a deeply concerned parent. 

"Two weeks?" 

"It's merely for observation purposes Mr Hargrove. Although there was no displacement of the sternum, the fractures are considerably dangerous. Closely monitoring your son will be for the best so we can act quickly if his condition doesn't improve." 

Susan was there too, her face creased with worry and concern that made Billy want to scream. God, she was such a good actress he swore! All the times she'd seen Neil beat the crap out of him and not once did she ever see it fit to stop the man. Not that Billy would've appreciated it anyway; because he didn't need anyone's help or pity. He just couldn't stand the way she wrung her hands nervously as they listened to the doctor, acting like she cared when she obviously didn't. 

"Okay, thanks doc." He heard his Dad say as the other man left the room, leaving them in an uncomfortable silence. 

Neil was on his frickin case the minute the door closed.

"Two more goddamn weeks." The man grumbled glaring at him crossly; as if it was his fault he cracked his goddamn chest. For Neil, it probably was.

"Well we can't go against the doctor's orders." Susan reasoned softly, submissively. She was such a coward. 

Neil fixed her with a look before turning his attention back to Billy.

"I know. Just our luck that you're stuck here boy." He growls, each footstep bring him closer to the bedside. 

"And now Susan has to take the extra time before work to drop Max to school. Because of you!"

"I'm sorry." He mutters, lookin down as the clammy, shaky hands fighting for stability in his lap.... they failed. He could feel his heart hammer in steady but loud intervals in his chest. 

"Susan, excuse us for a minute." Neil gruffed, his strict tone making the redheaded woman comply without complaint. She left the room immediately, leaving a crushing amount of silence in her wake. It seemed like Neil was thinking hard before he spoke again.

"Alright listen to me boy, you better pull your goddamn self together and stop pretending you're the victim here. You're gonna tell Cochrane you're feeling better and he better discharge you before those two weeks are up! You hear me? I won't be responsible for your medical expenses because you were too much of a pussy to take one little beating." 

They were nose to nose now, bright blue eyes widened and staring at dark mottled ones, harsh breathing coming from Neil. Billy wanted to spit in the man's face so bad. But he reluctantly bed down that feeling, opting instead to look away to his sparkly, sunshine window, trying to find calm there. 

"Yes Sir." He heard himself mutter softly, obediently. 

Neil practically stomped out of the room like some overzealous soldier, slamming the door behind him, the sound making Billy flinch.

.........

Max was practically buzzing in her seat as she strapped in the seatbelt excitedly. It was Monday again and she was finally going to see Billy. The whole week had just been agonizing and unbearable for her, waiting around the house with nothing to do but look forward to the next week. The house had been uncharacteristically quiet and dead almost, without Billy there and she realised just how much of a storm the older boy was. And she missed him.

Of course she'd rather die than admit that to his face, but it was the truth. And she kinda liked that fact. It felt like old times again after what went down at the Byers' house. It had taken him a few days ...maybe a week, but Billy had eventually apologized to her and had promised that he would try to get better. She gave him the space and accepted his apology without hesitation. It seemed weird to the rest of the party when she told them, especially Lucas, but they didn't know who Billy was before he got so angry and brooding. And crazy. 

He'd actually been a really nice and considerate older step brother who wasn't always angry all the time. He spent evenings with her after school helping her with homework, went with her to the beach with her whenever she got moody because of Susan and her Dad's divorce. He used to be there for her. And she missed that with a fire she hadn't felt in a long time. It made her both sad and angry to see how moving to Hawkins had changed him, but even that, she knew wasn't his fault. It was Neil. It always led back to Neil Hargrove and his stupid macho complex. If anyone was to blame for the way Billy was acting, it was him. He was worse than a freakin demogorgon and Max believed that with conviction. She hated how he belittled and broke down his own son, in some chivalrous attempt to make him a "real man" or whatever. When Billy was fifteen, sixteen he just seemed to brush the man off with a shake of his head or something passive, but now that he was seventeen, now that he was older, he'd started acting out against the abuse and that got him into a lot of trouble with his Dad. 

Max could still remember the day she and Susan came home to the sounds of Billy gasping for breath on the floor of the house, Neil standing over him like some evil overlord. The man's face was red and he was huffing and puffing as if he'd just run some marathon. His fists were clenched and his whole stance just screamed aggression. What was she supposed to think? The man gave some bullshit excuse about a fight Billy had been in at school and Susan just ate it all up. Just gave in to the illusion, to the lie. Yeah, Susan was one of those people who liked the 'curtain'. Because it provided her with a false sense of security and normalcy. She could give a crap if Billy was fighting for his life on the floor or not. Neil was her curtain. And it made Max sick. 

"Hey, you okay?" 

She was ripped from her dark thoughts by a light prod to her shoulder from Lucas. Turning to smile at him reassuringly she nodded.

"I'm fine." 

There was a scoff from the backseat.

"Of course she is. She got to ride shotgun." Dustin griped, shaking his head at Steve in the rear-view mirror. Max rolled her eyes, a small grin on her face.

"Hey, don't be an asshole man." Steve reprimands, the scolding tone of his voice much like a parent's. 

"But I always ride shotgun Steve!" Dustin whines again, pushing his face through the space between Steve and Max. 

"What did I just say Henderson?" 

Max outright cackles along with the other boys as Dustin shrinks back into the backseat, a defeated frown on his face. 

"Quit being such a baby Dustin." Mike taunts jokingly, tickling Dustin until he cracks a smirk. He knows he's just being a brat. Just wanted his older brother Steve to know it too.

"So what did you guys talk about?" Will asked with that reserved demeanour he's always had. Steve raises a brow in question at the little Byers kid. 

"What?" 

"Well, you've been visiting him for the week right? What's that been like?" 

Shit. 

Steve didn't want to sound like some kind of asshole and say half of the mean shit Billy had been telling him all week. He was sure Max wouldn't appreciate it. But he finds her staring expectantly at him out of the corner of his eyes and he knows he needs to say something.

"Uh.... he's been pretty cool actually." He tries weakly.

"Pretty cool? But you broke his ribs, how is he cool about that?" Dustin comments dryly, his lack of a frickin filter making Steve wince. 

"Henderson!" He groans, turning onto another street. 

"Sorry." The totally not sorry mutter replies. 

He knows the truth about Hargrove's injuries but he'd promised the boy that he wouldn't say a word of it to Max. He eyes her nervously but she doesn't seem to be angered by Dustin's comment. Her blue-green eyes stare straight ahead like she's got something else on her mind. 

"And it's his sternum, not his ribs. Didn't you guys do the human body with Mr Clarke?" He finally says. 

"Yeah we did." Lucas answers. "Dustin just wasn't paying attention." 

Steve sighs.

"Well, Billy's a lot nicer now okay? He's still an asshole but in a good kind of way. So go easy on him." He says, noting the quiet smile Max allows herself. He's glad she's giving the boy another chance as well. God knows he needed it. 

"What did you guys even talk about all week?" Max finally concedes, her curious and slightly suspicious tone making the conversation a hell of a lot lighter. 

Steve shrugged. "I dunno, basketball, school. Guy stuff." 

"Guy stuff?" Mike pipes up. Steve winced.

"Yeah, like chicks and cars and all that. Y'know, guys stuff." He mutters.

"So he didn't chew you out for breaking his 'sternum'?" Dustin asks, stressing on 'sternum' in that pesky Henderson way. Steve rolled his eyes. 

"Yeah, he sorta did, the first two days. But I dunno, I apologized... we got over it." 

"Really?" Will asked, sounding rightfully confused. 

And why wouldn't he be? 

Steve didn't even know where he was going with this. If he told them what really happened when he'd visited Billy for the whole of last week, their jaws would drop. He didn't tell them how scared Billy had looked on that first day. How his blue eyes glistened with unshed tears as Steve told him he was sorry. How his lips trembled when he accidentally revealed who really put him in the hospital. Steve didn't tell them how he'd wanted so badly to just hold Billy in a tight embrace and protect him from Neil. He didn't tell them how beautiful and breathtaking he thought Billy looked, caught in the sparkly golden ray of sunlight that was pouring through the window in his room. And he sure as hell didn't tell them how he'd brought Billy fancy lunch and dinner because the boy hated what they served at the hospital. 

Most of all, he didn't tell them how he'd thoroughly enjoyed spending every visiting hour with Billy Hargrove. He got used to seeing the boy smile and laugh in a way that wasn't fake or bitter. He'd grown used to the way Billy's blue, blue eyes glowed at him whenever they played cards or talked about their favourite cars. Steve couldn't help but become attached to those private, quiet moments that he and Billy had shared in the solitude of a simple hospital room. Those memories were nostalgic to him and it didn't feel right just talking about them as if they weren't. 

"Yep." He sighed, pulling into the parking lot. His heart beat a little faster at the thought of seeing the other boy again. 

.............

"Hello Billy, how're we feeling?" 

Billy looked up from one of the books Steve had brought for him to read last Friday, as the door opened revealing Dr Cochrane. He carefully folded page twenty-five of 'Deadeye Dick' by Vonnegut and placed the book on the side table. 

"Doing just fine doc." He replied almost too readily, as the doctor fixed him with a curious gaze. 

"When can I go home?" 

"Whoa, now let's just check you out before we send you home hm?" Cochrane exclaimed as if he was talking to a child. Billy hated the man's tone, it was patronizing. Demeaning. 

"Okay." He muttered begrudgingly, sitting up with little difficulty despite the abject soreness in his chest. He really had been getting better and breathing didn't pose such a mountainous task anymore. He was sure he'd heal in two to three days if he got the rest he needed. But stupid doctors and their stupid protocols. 

"Okay tell me if it starts to hurt."

He frowned in discomfort as the man's hands pressed and prodded the center of his chest, gently over the sternum at first but then he applied a firmer pressure that had Billy squirming uncomfortably. The pressure increased and increased until the man was almost digging his fingers into his chest and Billy had to pull away.

"Fuck! What the hell?" He gasped, clutching the same spot trying to will some of the sharp, stabbing pain away. 

Cochrane actually looked pleased with himself. 

"You see Billy, we still need to keep you for observation. Your x-ray scans have shown some improvement of the condition of your thoracic vertebrae. But the upper part- right here- needs more time to recover." 

Billy frowned, not really understanding what the words meant, only that it was not what Neil would've wanted to hear. He'd told Billy to be out before the two weeks were up. Cochrane needed to stop fucking around. He grunted in discomfort as the man made him disrobe for further examination, the paper fucking hospital dress pooling around his waist. He'd never live that down, he swore as the man began to record his heart rate and check for bruising and all of that other unnecessary stuff. 

When he was done, he made Billy redress and wrote out a few notes in his file. Billy tried to peer over the top to see what he was actually recording but the man shut his file hastily, a weird smile back in his face. 

"Ah, it's almost four o' clock! I expect you'll be having visitors soon. I'll bring back your results from the x-ray scans and we'll talk about discharge later this evening okay?" 

Billy nodded dumbly, kind of put off by the man's weird behaviour. Then again, that kinda was Cochrane's style. He was a friendly guy just trying to do his job. Billy let it go, awkwardly waving at the man before he left the room with a swish of his white lab coat. 

Sighing, Billy moved to pick up Vonnegut again but was startled by his door opening again. 

"Hey." 

Steve Harrington was there, in front of him in blue denim and a soft, cotton Polo. No shades today, but he still looked agonizingly preppy. Billy almost wanted to chuck his own book at him. 

"Harrington. Step into my office." He quipped, an easy smile forming in his lips. 

The rich, pretty boy had never been someone Billy ever thought would be there for him when he needed it most. But there he'd been in the past few days visiting and keeping him company. Harrington made him forget about the complexity that was his life and had brought some sense of normalcy to him. He didn't make small talk and everything he had to say seemed beautiful and important; his words an intimate secret to be kept only to be heard by Billy and Billy alone. He had a crappy almost corny sense of humour and he had good books. His company was something Billy had come to learn to appreciate and cherish and though he vibrantly doubted he'd ever tell the boy that to his face, he hoped Harrington felt the same way about him. A little at least.

"This your office now?" Steve scoffed, his grin making the sunshine window look dim in comparison. 

"You making this a regular thing now?" Billy couldn't help but ask, his voice mimicking some of that typical Hargrove cockiness. 

Steve shrugs, shoving his hands in his pockets in that classic, rich boy way. It was oddly endearing. 

"I have been here for the past six days." 

Billy huffs at the fact. Harrington had been there for six days. If that wasn't commitment, Hargrove didn't know what was. He had to quickly remind himself that Steve was doing this for Max and not really for him. He was nothing special. 

"So, what can I do for you?" He questions with a raised brow as Steve remains standing at the door. A feeling of dread drops in Billy's stomach as he listens with anticipation for Steve to say something bad, like he's done visiting him or something. 

"Actually, it's more of what I can do for you." Harrington smirks, before opening the door, letting a bunch of friggin' teenage, D&D-playing rascals flood into his room. 

Billy feels his face drop in utter mortification as they all surround his goddamn bed with big curious eyes as if they'd eaten too much candy. The one with the curly hair and the "pearls" is closest to his face and he inches back slowly, warily. Max is next to him with a small smile in her face, her blue green eyes piercing him. He can see Lucas next to her, keeping his distance but still concerned and he feels shame. A dark feeling rushes over him as Mike and Will stare at him expectantly. He can see a fear in Will's eyes that seem to mirror his own personal fears and he doesn't like the clarity it brings him. 

"What-" He manages to choke out before Harrington interrupts him.

"They just wanted to see if you were alive." He remarks, his tone making the uncomfortable situation a little more bearable. 

"A sternal fracture! Damn, guess Steve got your ass back for that plate huh?" Dustin exclaims, taking in all of the beeping monitors and the IV hooked up to his arm. 

"Dustin!" Steve nearly shrieks, covering his face in utter embarrassment. 

Billy narrows his eyes at the kid.

"You realise that this needle in my arm isn't stopping me from getting up from this bed and kicking your ass right kid?"

Dustin pales and begins to sputter, looking back at Steve. 

"I thought you said he wasn't an asshole anymore?" Mike asks Steve, genuinely looking confused. 

Steve catches the look Billy shoots him and is immediately flustered. 

"Uh, okay, how about you guys give Max some space to talk to him and then you can come back and insult him." He suggests, making it sound more like a thinly veiled demand as he glares at the children. 

"Come on! Out." Steve orders, opening the door for them as they grumble past him, their heads down. He follows them, but not before shooting Billy an apologetic glance. 

..............

"Max, what the hell are you doing here?" Billy snaps the minute Steve and his children leave the room. She has the decency to look away in uncertainty. He watches her like a hawk as she slowly pulls up Steve's chair- ...the chair, closer to him and sits in it dejectedly. Her arms are crossed in that typical Maxine way that just screams defiance. He's a little proud of that. But more pissed off because if Neil or Susan found out she'd been here, he was going to have to face the consequences for that. 

"I wanted to come see you." She mutters, not looking at him. 

He recalls Harrington telling him that he owes Max and that she'd been begging Susan to come see him since he'd been admitted. He feels bad for putting her in this situation. 

"You know Neil doesn't want you coming here." He sighs, rubbing his forehead absently. He's trying so hard not to be an asshole right now. 

"Yeah well, Neil can go screw himself." She spits with conviction, those piercing eyes meeting his now. He can almost see himself in the anger she holds there and it scares him. He'd never heard anyone else talk about his father like that. It makes him wonder if Steve had told her what had actually happened. 

"What." He simply mutters after a long while, dumbfounded. 

"He's an asshole Billy. It's not rocket science!" She fumes, getting up from her chair and stomping over to his sunshine window. Her hair glows like fire in the evening sunlight. 

"What the hell did Harrington tell you?" He growls, that ugly meanness in his voice again, reminding him of what he truly was. A mean, nasty brute who took out his frustrations on other people. Max, most of all. 

She turns around sharply to glance at him before going back to the chair. 

"Steve didn't have to tell me anything. I'm not stupid!"

"Max-"

"No! You don't get to talk down to me! It took me a long damn time to find out what was going on, but I eventually got it. Susan's been lying to me and Neil's been lying to me. Please, not you too!" 

She's red in the face now, her eyes wet with tears and her mouth pinched into a thin line.

"I'm not lying to you." He states defensively looking down at his hands in his lap. 

"Then tell me he didn't do this to you." She demands resolutely, her voice dead serious. 

He scoffs and looks away. Max was treading on unsteady grounds here and if she pushed any more, he was afraid he'd snap. But his silence is just the answer she needs and he's surprised when he suddenly has his arms full of the redhead. She's sobbing and he feels bad for being the cause of it. He didn't know how to deal with this as he'd made sure to steer clear of public shows of emotion just like this. Billy and feelings were the same as water and oil; they never mixed. 

Gingerly he pats her back and then just decides to wrap his arms around her, holding her there, safe and sound. He feels a swelling in his heart and it feels weird but good. As if all the pent up feelings of hate and angst and envy and sadness had just suddenly exploded within him and now they're pouring out. He gives her one last squeeze before letting her go, the closeness of the contact making him uncomfortable again. She looks a bit sad but pulls away anyway, giving him space. They both sit in silence for a few minutes, Billy realising that Max wasn't a very emotional type either. He respects her for it. 

"Max," He says after a while. "You can't say anything about it okay?" 

She opens her mouth to protest but then thinks better of it.

"Fine. I don't like it, but fine. I know how stubborn you are. But Billy, what if he does it again? What if he- ...what if you end up in here again?" 

Billy shakes his head slowly. 

"I won't let it happen again. I'll just leave when he starts to rile himself up. Spend the night at some broad's place." He jokes, but his attempt at humour is met with a stern glare. 

"I'm serious Billy." She grinds, her frown deepening. 

He sighs. Tired with everything. 

"I don't know what he's gonna do when I come home, but, I promise I won't let him hurt you." He says in a low tone that brooks no argument, but also doesn't show any emotion. Max shakes her head.

"It's not me you should be worried about. And I know that you are, believe me I know that you're looking out for me. But please- ...just, if something goes wrong and he does this to you again, you have to let me get help. You can trust Hopper." 

It’s a while before Billy speaks again, much too wrapped up in his own thoughts to give her the answer she wants to hear. But he knows he can't stay quiet forever. And he truly believes now, that Max cares. Which makes him feel like total shit for how he's been treating her, even if he's tried to make up for it. 

"Okay." He finally responds and is shocked when she releases a teary, relieved laugh. 

"Really?" 

"Yeah, really." He smirks. 

She's grinning from ear to ear now, her cheek regaining some of its cheery colour. 

..........

When Max left to go talk to the boys, Steve came in again, an easy smile on his face.

"So, ...that was something huh?" He chuckled, taking his rightful place in that chair.

"Yeah, thanks for the heads up." Billy replies dryly, no real malice in his voice. Steve didn't even look halfway apologetic. 

"I'm sorry, but when you're being threatened by Maxine and her nerd friends, it's better if you just do what they say man." 

Billy scoffs in amusement and he looks back down into the book in his lap, fingers playing with the crisp pages. 

"You like it?" Steve suddenly says after the long moment of silence. Billy looks up from his idle play and fixes his curious blue eyes on Steve who splutters awkwardly, pointing at the book in his lap.

"Th- the book, I mean." 

Oh. 

"Yeah, it- ...it's going great. Rudy needs help." He scoffs, fingers forgetting the book momentarily. 

Steve laughs shaking his head and shrugging his shoulders.

"I didn't actually read it. I'm more of a Stephen King guy." 

Billy's brow shoots up into his hairline at that.

"Honestly, you surprise me every day Harrington." 

Steve just smirks mischievously at him before getting up. Billy's heart drops just a little like it always does when Steve prepares to leave. He finds that he hates being alone with his thoughts because they remind him of who and what he really is. Nothing but a mindless brute that no one wants to be around. The dark thoughts eventually tumble downhill, picking up other nasty memories that grow and grow until they become too much and he explodes, leaving bloody knuckles and broken bones in his wake. He's afraid. 

But he won't stop Steve. No. He's not some clingy bitch. And he refuses to let Steve get to him too much. Space is good, ....Steve leaving is good. Don't get to attached to this feeling, he tells himself. 

"I better get Max home before it's too late." Steve says almost dejectedly. 

"Those little shits hope you get better. They wanted to see you really bad but decided another time would be better." He reveals with a smile and a scoff.

"I think that's code for "we better kill Billy the next time we see him". I don't trust it." Billy jokes, chewing his lower lip. He gets an outright cackle for that joke. 

"Later Hargrove." 

.................

The man's eyes narrowed suspiciously as the Harrington boy steps out of Room 27, a bright blush on his face. His eyes follow the rich boy until he disappears behind the elevator's doors. He presses his finger on the walkie-talkie hidden in his hands. It crackles to life. 

"Hey boss, your eyes still set on Hargrove?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> <3 Keep rockin' guys! #SteveMom #Harringrove


	8. I Never Knew You Were the Someone Waiting For Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stranger things have happened to Steve Harrington. But Billy Hargrove was THE strangest thing that's ever happened to him. Billy's dealing with his own demons. He doesn't do relationships.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So here's another chapter for you Glen Cocos! My 2nd to last exam was today! YASSS! I've got one more next week but it's U.S History and that's a piece o' cake so, I'll get to writing that next chappie soon! BTW, don't kill me for this episode lol. *drops fic then runs*

I Never Knew You Were the Someone Waiting For Me

"Uh, Steve? Steve! Steve Harrington!" 

Steve just barely let go of his thoughts as the shy voice called his name a few times. He paused just short of his locker, turning around to see Jillian Stanford waving at him, all chill and spaced out. He frowned, looking around to see if he was mistaken. Jillian was one of those cool, laidback girls in his class who kept to herself and her own little group of weirdo friends who liked booze and music and talking about "the man". He never really got close to her but they'd hung out a couple of times and it was pretty chill. 

"Uh, hey Jillian." He greets dumbly as her tall, lanky boyfriend, Michael, appears behind her, looking drunk as fuck, red eyes and everything. He wraps his arms around her and she leans into him. It takes a while before Steve realizes she's holding out a paper for him, wagging it in front of him. 

"Oh." He flustered, grabbing the paper hastily. He frowns at it and sees that it’s another house party. Sheesh, he thought; it's not even the middle of the week yet! Then another snide memory flashes before him and it's himself and Tommy laughing at Nancy's astonishment at the idea of a party on a Tuesday. God, how the tables have turned. He suddenly feels old. 

"It's tonight. Hope you can come." Jillian says, smiling at Michael. She sees the hesitation on his face and quickly adds, "Oh and don't worry, we didn't invite any assholes. It'll just be a handful of really chill people." 

Steve frowns at that. Why the hell would he be worried about assholes at a party? Hell, he used to be one of the guys in that very same category. He freezes before rolling his eyes and shaking his head.

"Di- ...did Nancy put you up to this? Did she ask you to ask me?" He scoffs, looking around the school's hallways to see if he saw his ex. She was nowhere in sight. Jillian simply popped the bubble gum in her mouth.

"Was it that obvious?" She jokes dryly, Michael still at her back. 

Steve just chuckles.

"Yeah. Anyway lemme think about it okay? I'll get back to you later."

"Awesome." Jillian waves him a cool goodbye before she scampers off with her hippie boyfriend. 

Steve rolls his eyes before slapping a mental hand to his forehead... is this what he's become now? Being forced into a pity party by his ex? The very same ex who never liked going to parties? And the very same ex who was probably going to this party with her new beau Johnathan Wheeler? What the hell was Nancy's big idea? Invite him to go and then rub her new relationship in his face? An annoyed growl bubbles in his throat as he heads towards class. 

...........

'Mother and Father heard me shoot. So did some of the neighbours. But nobody could be sure of what he or she had heard, with the tanks making such an uproar on their way to the proving ground. Their new engines backfired plenty the first time they tasted petroleum.

Father came upstairs to find out if I was all right. I was better than that. I was at one with the universe. I heard him coming, but I was unconcerned—even though I was still at an open window in the cupola with the Springfield in my arms.

He asked me if I had heard a bang. I said I had.

He asked me if I knew what the bang had been. I said, “No.”

I took my own sweet time about descending from the cupola. Firing the Springfield over the city was now part of my treasure-house of memories.

I hadn’t aimed at anything. If I thought of the bullet’s hitting anything, I don’t remember now. I was the great marksman, anyway. If I aimed at nothing, then nothing is what I would hit.

The bullet was a symbol, and nobody was ever hurt by a symbol. It was a farewell to my childhood and a confirmation of my manhood.

Why didn’t I use a blank cartridge? What kind o-'

"Hey Billy." 

"Shit!"

The book flies out of his hands as he startles, blue eyes bright and wide. He has a hand over his goddamn chest, trying to calm his heart. 

"Jesus I didn't mean to scare you son!" Cochrane exclaims, the fond amusement lighting up his face. 

Billy takes a deep breath, glaring at the man hotly.

"Wasn't scared... you just- ...surprised me." He mutters petulantly, knowing damn well he'd nearly jumped out of his own skin. Hell, he'd flung his book; the thing was probably in the Pacific, he thought, looking around the bed to see where Vonnegut had fallen. 

"Here you go." 

He looks up to see Cochrane picking it up from the floor, somewhere just in reach under the bed. He takes the book, cradling it in his arms protectively; assessing the pages to make sure none got bent or folded on impact. It seemed alright. It takes him a few minutes before he realizes that Dr Cochrane is staring at him silently, already sitting at his bedside.... in Steve's chair. 

"Uh, ....just making sure it's not..." He mumbles dumbly, cheeks burning in embarrassment. Shit, the man caught him red handed, geeking out over a stupid paperback. 

Cochrane raises his hands in a non-confrontational way. 

"Hey, it's okay. It doesn't matter actually, because I've got some good news for you." 

Billy blinks expectantly at the man, hoping to God he's gonna tell him what he wants to hear, but also keeping reservations as he'd not been permitted to leave when he asked just the day before. 

"You're cleared to go." 

He blinks some more. "R...really?" 

"Yes! You're free to go." Cochrane chuckles enthusiastically, opening the cream coloured file in his hands, thumbing through the pages. 

Billy allows himself the liberating feeling of relief as he allows himself a tiny smile. But then- ....There it is. That stupid doubt again. 

"A- ...are you sure doc?" He questions, trying to keep the suspicion out of his voice. He immediately tries to explain himself as Cochrane looks up at him with a weird frown.

"It- it's just ...yesterday you said-" 

"I know I know; you're still repairing and there's still some bruising on the middle regions of the vertebrae. But with some rest and no high-energy activities for the next three weeks, you'll be as good as new." Cochrane is frowning in slight confusion at him. 

"Oh." He expresses with a quiet, wondering nod. 

"You don't look so happy about that." The man says wearily.

"No, I am. Believe me, I'm friggin' thrilled." He scoffs jokingly. 

Cochrane nods, grinning at him. 

"Alright, I'll tell the receptionist to notify your parents. Take it easy son. Hope I don't see you in here anytime soon." He jokes, waving a warm goodbye before he leaves.

"Yeah, okay doc...I hope so too." Billy laughs awkwardly, waving back with a slight flick of his wrist. It’s weird that they were letting him go so early but Billy's not complaining. He shakes the worry and suspicion out of his head before picking up Vonnegut again. 

Where was he.... oh right; Rudy just shot someone.

.............

Klemens Cochrane wasn't a very complex man. He'd studied half of his life away on medicine and surgery and making people better. Years passed til he was greying and wrinkled with years of experience and he'd been quite satisfied with his life. Moved from the bustling city of Philadelphia after his wife Alma died, to have a nice quiet life in the small town of Hawkins, Indiana. He just never expected that such a small town could have so many dark secrets. 

Granted, he only knew about point zero-zero-zero one percent of what was actually going on in the miserable town, -but still, he knew enough. Especially judging from the tall man that stood before him, his black silhouette accented by the white fluorescent light above his head. 

"How is he?" The man asked. He never told Cochrane his name. He knew absolutely nothing about the man. Just that he was a force to be reckoned with; a man who ran Hawkins. A man he shouldn't mess with.

"H...he's happy. Uh, happy that he's being discharged early." Cochrane answered promptly, swallowing an imaginary lump in his throat. 

"And his father?" 

"On his way from work." He answered promptly again, like a seasoned soldier responding to a commanding general. 

"Good." The voice came out low and sultry now, as if it were immensely pleased at the news about Billy Hargrove. 

Cochrane didn't get the keen interest the man had in the pretty blonde boy. The interns under him had only reported to the "Boss" about Billy's medical records, his physical features and his history which included a very nasty relationship with his father. But those tenets seemed ample to reel in the nondescript man. Maybe he had a thing for blonde boys with pretty blue eyes, thick long lashes and cherry red lips. Cochrane didn't fucking know! He'd wanted to warn the boy to be careful. But the Boss had the damn hospital wired like a Russian spy. Hell, he had the whole town of Hawkins tapped. There was no opportunity to cross the man. No way of getting around him. 

"What-" He paused, gulping nervously again. "What are you going to do to him?" 

The question is brave and Cochrane has to squint to see the man's reaction. It's useless however, the light and dark contrasts obscuring the man's face perfectly. He feels like an hour has passed before he gets a response.

"I'm going to make him all better." Is the grossly vague response, before six statesmen flood the darkened room, ready to escort the doctor out of the room. Rough hands grip his arms and practically drag him out, like a prisoner with no idea of what he'd done to be incarcerated. 

Yes. Hawkins, Indiana was a weird place indeed.

.............

Clear, hot water sprayed from the showerhead, steaming up the glass walls of the bathroom. The scalding drops drenched the naked body beneath it; sparkling rivulets running desperately down pale but freckled skin. Steve sighed feeling some sort of release under the solid pressure of the needles of water hammering into his body. He could practically feel the muscles in his back and shoulders, down his thighs to his goddamn calves unwind with the heat. They'd been tense all day; for the past few weeks in fact. But school had been a mess of cold showers in the morning and cold showers when he got home. He hadn't had time to himself in such a long time and even though it was Tuesday, he didn't have any pressing assignments due for the rest of the week. So a long, hot shower seemed appropriate. 

His fingers massage his scalp as he closes his eyes more out of pleasure than to prevent the shampoo from getting in them. That stupid party -with 'no assholes'- was later tonight. For some stupid unnamed reason he'd told Jillian he'd be there but now he wanted to back down so bad. The thought of a nice quiet evening alone, with some snacks, a cigarette and some beer sounded way better than some pretentious social event with a bunch of stoned teenagers slurring in opposition against capitalism. He knew Byers was kinda creepy and weird but God; hippies? And now it seemed that Nancy was a part of the little cult. 

It's a good while before he steps out of the bathroom, wrapped in a fluffy towel, a billow of thick white steam following closely behind him. Fuck it, he thinks. He's going to that goddamn party even if it's to just hit one blunt and drink one beer for the night. He could go to class the next day saying he'd gone... that yes, the former King Steve still had a social life and still mingled in the middle of the school week. Grunting, he pulls on a pair of jett black jeans that he hasn't worn since before he broke up with Nancy. The damn thing fits just right, cupping his ass firm and snug. He rolls his eyes wondering if this is what it's like to be Billy Hargrove. 

The sound of the other boy's name has him pausing before he slides a soft, cotton long sleeve on. The thing is old, like, last year old. It's dark red and worn out, and the neck's all stretched to hell that one side seems to be slipping just off his shoulder; but Steve's always loved it with some kind of unexplained sentiment. Maybe that's what he feels towards Billy, he thinks.

Unexplained sentiment. 

He doesn't particularly feel all buddy-buddy with the boy, but he's not blind to how he feels every time he comes into contact with him. Whether it was on the court or in the Byers' house... or in the shower. The memory that flashes in his head has him blushing slightly as he styles his damp hair in the large bathroom mirror. Dark brunette waves are forming with each pump of Farah Fawcett and Steve indulges himself by adding an extra spritz. Unbeknownst to him, the thought of Billy has him subconsciously primping and setting his hair to the best of his ability. Something about looking good for someone. 

Pretty boy.

He pulls on the neck of the long sleeved shirt in an attempt to hide his collarbone and fails miserably as it just ends up slipping down to the other shoulder. Ah, fuck it, he thinks, grabbing his shoes and a bunch of keys. The stoner party had probably started already. The time on the clock is 11:34PM. He rushes to his car and floors the accelerator. With the rumbling of his car's engine, the wind slicing indulgently through his hair, Steve suddenly feels like himself again. He allows himself a smirk as he slips on his ray bans, now feeling ready to party with the young and reckless. 

.................

He comes to a slow in front of a big house surrounded by a neatly trimmed hedge full of roses or some shit. He rolls his eyes thinking; it's always the rich, privileged types that pretend to be hippies. He taps his fingers against the steering wheel idly, whistling quietly, still undecided about if he really wanted to go or not. 

"Ah, fuck it-" He mutters, about to shut the engine off and get out when bright headlights and a loud rumbling engine captures his undivided attention. He winces in the scope of the super fucking bright lights as the car speeds past him in a blur of California blue. Steve's heart leaps into his goddamn throat.

"Billy?" 

Without a moment's hesitation, he shifts his car back into drive and makes a messy three pointer, chasing after the Camaro like a dog after a bone. He feels the wind whipping through his hair, making a perfect mess out of it but he can't seem to care.

When the hell did he get out?

Steve zeroes in on the glowing taillights of the Camaro and slows down a bit, wanting to make sure it was Billy driving and not some other guy. He'd feel so dumb if Neil Hargrove was driving the damn thing. But- why would Neil be driving his son's car? And he was dead certain he'd know if Max was driving; that fiery mop of hair was kinda hard to miss. 

The car makes it to the quarry before turning off into some kind of secluded spot in the trees right where the moonlight flows like a silver waterfall. Steve thinks he knows this place... as if he's been here before and then it clicks and he feels the heat rise in his cheeks. This was where he'd spent the night crying in Billy's car. And the night he'd slept on top of the other boy. Shit. 

He has half a mind to turn the fuck around and breakaway before it's too late but then sighs, thinking, he didn't want to go back to that party. And he needed to know how and when Billy got discharged. That seemed odd since Cochrane had been pretty adamant about keeping the boy for observation. Sighing, Steve decides it's now or never and follows the Camaro into the forested spot under the moon. The space is a small clearing that looks like it hasn't ever been travelled by civilization but somehow Billy and his blue Camaro seem to fit right at home there. He makes out the mess of blonde curls in the front seat and blanches as Billy swivels around in fright but then his face screws up into an annoyed glare as he notices him. Steve feels some satisfaction at that before cutting off his engine and walking over to the other car. He gets in.

Billy doesn't say anything. Doesn't even acknowledge Steve as he slips into the passenger side, an awkward smirk on his stupid face with those stupid shades. Billy continues to ignore the other boy, proceeding with lighting up his cigarette and pulling on it deep. When he glances over, Steve is still eyeing him quietly with those big, brown doe-eyes. He scoffs. 

"Jesus Harrington, stop it with the goddamn staring. How many times do I gotta tell you?" It's not threatening or mean like Hargrove's usual speech his. He genuinely seems to be joking and that puts an easy smile on Steve's face as he looks away. 

"When did you get out?" He asks, sending down his window just a crack to get the cigarette smoke out. 

"Today. This morning actually. Uh, doctor said I was fine." Billy answers, his mind going back to how weirdly Cochrane was acting. And how suspicious everything seemed after the man signed his discharge papers. He didn't question it, cos it got him out of that damn place ...and out of that fucking paper dress. But... it just all seemed, suspicious. 

"I was gonna come by tomorrow. Today was sorta busy and stupid." Steve attempted, trying to make up some excuse for not visiting the other boy earlier. 

Truth was, he just wanted to go home and sleep his worries away. Worries that comprised burning tentacles, slimy dogs with petal faces and a pretty, teary-eyed girl that kept calling him bullshit. Lately things like that has been keeping him up at night. But he silently deals with it. He hopes. But these days taking pills to sleep just didn't seem to be working. He rubs his eyes as Billy exhales grey smoke, nodding solemnly.

"So what are you doing out here in the middle of the night?" He pauses before adding, "Did your Dad-" 

Billy cut him off immediately. 

"Mind your damn business Harrington." 

His voice is low and tired and Steve feels stupid for bringing that up. He runs a hand through his hair and sighs, looking out at the moon. 

"Came up here for some peace. Guess I never get what I want." 

Steve deflates at that, realizing that maybe Billy didn't change at all. The minute he got out of that hospital, he turned right back into that stupid, assho-

"Was a joke man. Quit looking like I just killed your cat or something." Billy says with a teasing huff as he turns and stretches his hand in the back seat.

Steve's eyes flicker up to the Cali boy, amused. Billy just made a cute joke. He chuckles softly.

"Okay, you got me. What the hell are you looking for?" 

Billy turns back to him, cigarette hanging from his lips, a book in his hand. He holds it out for Steve to take, all bashful and everything. Steve almost wants to laugh. 

"Vonnegut? You were gonna read? Hargrove, are you shitting me?" 

Billy narrows his eyes at him, irritated. "S'not that funny." 

Steve reigns himself in, nodding and then shaking his head.

"You're right. I'm sorry. But seriously; you drove all the way out here to read Deadeye Dick? You know there's a perfectly good library in town that opens twenty-four hours right?" 

Billy shakes his head pulling out another cigarette after he's discarded the butt of the last one. 

"Don't like libraries. The silence is artificial. Not conducive to real imagination." He replies sagely, feeling up his pockets for his zippo. 

"Oh?" Steve questions, his brow raised at the blonde's thesis. 

"Yeah." Billy says, nodding as he checks the dashboard. He pauses for a second, turning to face Steve directly. 

"See, this? Out here, in the forest with nothing but the trees and the water below. No forced solitude and no shelves full of dusty books that'll never be opened. This is the best place to read a book."

Steve is staring at him openly now, a brilliant smile on his face. His eyes are practically sparkling with ....something.

"What?" Billy snaps defensively. 

"Wow. You are a nerd Billy Hargrove." He finally says, as he's reduced to a cackling puddle in the passenger's seat, feet resting on the dash. Billy smacks him in the shin.

"Ow!"

"Get your feet off the dash. I thought you were raised in a castle, not a goddamn barn." 

Steve complies, kicking his shoes off instead to fix his socked feet under him as he curls up in his seat, his back against the window. 

"I was kidding though. It's nice here." He admits, passing the book back to Billy. He eyes the zippo in the boy's hands and makes a grab for it while his other hand gently pulls the cigarette from between Billy's lips. The world fucking stops then. Billy staring down at him with heavily lidded eyes. Steve looking up at him timidly, knowing that he's treading dangerous ground here. All he can hear is Billy's husky breathing and his own wet gulp, the world silent around them. Billy was right; this silence wasn't artificial- it was all too real. 

He leans back against the window, placing the cigarette between his own lips, lighting it with the zippo. His eyes flicker up to Billy who still has his eyes on him, like a hawk. He rustles under the attention, taking a long drag, breathing out smoke as he says, "Go ahead."

"What?" Billy's voice is low and ragged.

"Read it to me?" Steve asks, feeling his cheeks redden a bit as he breathes in smoke again. The cigarette is held between his fingers as he gestures to the book. He's nervous that Billy won't want to do anything like that. And honestly, Steve has no idea where 'this' even came from. He'd just been taken over by a sudden urge to steal Billy's nicotine and light; to take away the distractions. And the other boy seemed to really like that fucking book.

He's lost in the riddles of his own thoughts until he hears, "You know what it says in the Bible? Thou shalt not kill." 

Steve freezes. But then Billy continues.

"Chief Morissey gave up on rescuing Father and me, since Father seemed to find it so rewarding to damn and doom himself. Throwing up his hands and departing, he left us in the hands of a mild old lieutenant and a stenographer. Father told me to describe exactly how I had fired the rifle, and I answered simply and truthfully. The stenographer wrote it down." 

His voice is low and sweet and husky at the same time; like honey pouring over shards of glass. Steve can't seem to get it out of his muddled mind. 

"And then Father had this to say, for his own part, which was also duly recorded: “This is only a boy here."

He'd never in a million years understand why his stupid self had chosen to become utterly unravelled by Billy Hargrove. It was weird for sure. Having a thing for the guy who'd just recently pummelled his face into the ground. A thing? Could he even call it that?

"His mother and I are morally and legally responsible for his actions, except when it comes to the handling of firearms." 

Steve couldn't wrap his head around it. It wasn't love.... and it sure as hell wasn't desire. What did he call it earlier? Unexplained sentiment? That was funny; he didn't laugh though. Just kept listening. Just kept thinking.

"And I think he was surprised, again, when we weren’t allowed to go home after that. What more could anybody want after a confession that or-"

"So he killed someone?" 

Silence. 

"Billy?" 

He could tell when the other boy froze. 

Steve swallowed tensely, reaching out to gently take the book out of Billy's hand, folding the page carefully and resting it on the dash. They sit in that natural silence for a minute; that damn electricity Steve had talked to Dustin about sparking in the small space between them. 

Billy pulls the cigarette away from him and crushes it in the ashtray. He breathes out the smoke slowly, turning his head just a fraction to peek at the blonde from under his lashes. Billy's staring him down silently, an ethereal heat glowing in his eyes. He throws caution to the wind then, vacating his current seat to fit himself in Billy's lap; the boy sitting back with his thighs sprawled, leaning back against his seat, eyes tracking Steve's every move. His hands are not touching Steve, one running through his hair and the other one gripping the gear-shift. 

Steve doesn't know what the fuck he's doing but he loves the warmth radiating from Billy. Especially in the lower regions where Billy's crotch brushes up against his ass. He runs his fingers through those blonde curls and pulls Billy in for a soft kiss, their lips smooth against each other. He can feel when Billy moves his hands to grip Steve's hips hard. It hurts but Steve wouldn't dare complain. The rough hands are moving sensually up and down, grip slipping on his hips as they slide down to squeeze his jean-clad butt. Billy groans in approval at the tight fit of his jeans and Steve is grateful that he'd prettied up earlier. 

Billy's lips are slowly becoming more and more aggressive and soon, he's fighting a battle he's already won as Steve just whimpers and lets him dominate his mouth, his lips, his tongue. He just leans into the kiss and lets Billy take what he wants. He grabs the boy’s hands from where they're gripping his ass hard and puts them on his shoulders, urging Billy to pull him closer. Hargrove does more than that as he sits up and yanks Steve right up against his chest. His hand grabs the neck of Steve's favourite long sleeve and stretches it further, exposing that expanse of creamy, untouched skin. Steve shudders at the gentle kiss to his collarbone before gasping in pleasant surprise as Billy practically attacks his neck, teeth and tongue doing their worst to his jugular. He can already see the big purpling bruise that's going to form there tomorrow. He throws his head back, fingers in those damn blonde curls, pressing Billy even closer against his neck. 

"D- uh, don't stop." He whimpers, feeling Billy grab him around the waist, holding him in place as he thrusts his hips upwards into Steve's ass. 

"Fuck." Billy growls; nails finding Steve's skin under his shirt digging and clawing into it trying to get a grip on what was happening. The little broken gasps that escape Steve's pretty kiss-swollen lips have Billy rock hard in seconds. He wants to fuck the pretty boy. To make him moan and whimper and cry like he's currently doing. He's never felt such animalistic desires for anyone before; those hoes he'd forced himself to be with paling in comparison to the way Steve's body made him feel. He pulls away from the boy's neck and can see the purpling bruise already taking shape, glistening with his saliva in the moonlight. Fuck, Steve looked so good wearing his bruises, Billy thought. 

"I do?" 

Shit. Had he said that out loud? 

He looks up at Steve who is looking down at his hands wrapped around the other boy's waist, lashes brushing his cheekbones prettily. God, all Billy could think about is how fucking pretty Steve looked right now. He grips the boy behind the neck and pulls him for a kiss, completely dominating his mouth. 

"Yeah Princess, you look fucking good with my bruises all over your neck." He rasps, his words making Steve whimper as he yanks the boy's favourite shirt up and over his head, tossing it in the backseat. He's seen Harrington naked before. He's fucking showered right next to him after basketball practice. But none of that compared to how beautiful Steve's bare skin looked under the moonlight. 

Steve shivers slightly; kind of curling into himself as Billy just sits there, watching him. Sharp blue eyes on his body. The blonde growls noticing the flush of embarrassment that ripples through Steve. He traces his hands all over that smooth chest, fingers brushing over the boy's nipples making him whimper at the sensitivity. 

"Billy." He murmurs, hand brushing Hargrove's hard cock that's confined to his jeans. 

"You want it?" Billy rasps, a brow raised high, impressed. He didn't think Steve would be so ....forward. 

"Uh huh." Steve whimpers, nodding his head earnestly. And God, Billy had never been so turned on in his life. 

He shoves his door open, a flicker of panic flashing across Steve's face. He quickly plants a wet kiss on the boy's lips and gestures towards the back seat. Steve nods slightly, crawling into the backseat. When Billy joins him, he finds Steve sitting back with his legs pressed tightly together, his eyes not meeting Billy's gaze and he's biting his lip nervously. Like a virgin. 

"Hey." He rumbles, gently stroking Steve's hair. He kisses his temple and then kisses his lips. It melts the trepidation away and Billy grunts in surprise as Steve climbs on top of him. They're sprawled out in the backseat now, Steve rocking his hips against Billy's. He leans up as Billy shoves at his chest firmly. And he knows he should be a little scared when Billy's hands start unzipping his jeans and shoving it down along with his underwear. He should be going out of his fucking mind! But instead he moans, helping Billy strip him bare, his body tensing as it's exposed. 

He lets Billy push him down into the foot-well of the backseat, on his knees.

"Get it wet." Billy demands huskily, undoing his fly but not taking off his clothes completely. 

Steve swallows nervously as stares at Billy's thick fucking cock through his lashes. God, he's huge. He pushes his fears aside and goes for it, licking the tip experimentally. It's not a distinctive taste, just slightly salty. He loves it. He licks again, more confidently this time before going down on the hard column of flesh. Above him, Billy growls, his hands gripping Steve's hair tightly. 

"Fuck, bitch!" He rasps out loud and strokes Steve's head in apology. But Steve doesn't complain. He loves the raw passion in Billy's voice as his cock is serviced by Steve's mouth. He's new to this whole thing -sex with a boy and all that- but he's not naive. He knows what he wants when a girl goes down on him. He wants them to make his cock slick with spit, so he does and it has Billy groaning out loud. He also wants them to take him in deep, so that's what he does next and it has Billy bucking hard into his mouth, the tip shoving down his throat. He half moans and half chokes as Billy forces himself deeper and suddenly the grip in his hair yanking him back, off of Billy's cock. 

When Billy opened his eyes, Steve was a perfect portrait of a hot, sweet, sexy mess. His lips were swollen and bruised a deep red. Spit dripped slowly from his mouth, down his chin. His eyes were wet with spilled and unshed tears and his hair was a debauched mess, semi-perfect and semi-fucked up by Billy's own hands. He still looked up at Billy like he adored him or something and it made Billy feel things. 

"Fuck, pretty boy." He growled, thumb rubbing Steve's spit-slick lips. 

He pulled Steve back up and laid him out along the backseat, covering him with his clothed body. Steve looked so small and vulnerable lying there below Billy, bare naked and shaking with desire. He spread his legs and stared Billy down until he fit himself in the space, rough denim and leather against soft smooth skin. Steve felt extremely raw and open then and he buried his face in Billy's chest. Billy held him close then and gave him time to calm down. 

"Shh, it's okay. We don't-" Billy began.

"No. I want to. Please Billy." Steve interrupted.

"You're scared." Billy pointed out, gently stroking Steve's cock to calm him down. 

"Then fuck it out of me." Steve mewls as Billy's hand squeezes tighter around him. 

"I don't wanna be scared." 

Billy took the wave of emotions with a fucking sea of salt. What the fuck was going on with him? Letting Harrington make him feel all of this raw emotion? He brushed the thought aside though, and planted a gentle kiss to Steve's forehead.

"Okay." He murmured softly, bringing up two fingers to Steve's lips. The boy looked down at them, a question on his lips but then a flash of understanding hit him and he opened his mouth. The fingers slid in immediately, rubbing his tongue and sticking deeper and deeper until he was choking and gasping around the appendages. Billy pulled them out and moved his hand down between Steve's thighs. He gazed at Billy with those fucking doe-eyes and Billy almost felt sorry for him as he slipped the first finger in. 

"Mmh!" 

"Shh, it's okay. Relax. Hey, look at me." Billy whispered, staring into Steve's teary eyes as he slid the finger even deeper into that tight, wet heat. Jesus, Billy thought; how was Steve gonna react when he slid his cock into him? Some lube would've been ideal but he didn't have any. Steve gasped as the second finger went in and he tried to squirm away but Billy held him in place. 

"Relax baby." Billy heard himself rumble and he saw Steve nod obediently. He kissed him again and again until the boy got used to the fingers inside him, stretching and preparing his hole. God, Billy was so close he could almost imagine just how fucking tight Steve was going to feel around his cock. He growled, pulling out his fingers, the motion making Steve groan softly. 

He spit into his palm and jacked his cock a couple times, noting how Steve focused on the movement. He leaned down and pressed the tip right up against the boy's pink opening. That earned him a whimper and he saw Steve bite his lip. God, this was real. He was about to fuck the prettiest boy in Hawkins and he paused a minute to bring himself back from the brink. Steve was there, legs spread, wet eyes gazing up at him as if he'd hung the moon and stars in the sky. He pressed their lips together and pushed in. 

"Oh m- uhmm." Steve groaned but Billy cut him off with another kiss. 

Billy felt the tight ring of muscles clench involuntarily around his hard cock, squeezing it just right. He was about halfway in when Steve whimpered out in pain, causing him to still instantly. The boy's nails dug and scraped into his back as he pulled Steve closer to him. He gave him time to adjust and used the break to suck a few more bruises into his neck and his chest. Steve felt like his in the moment and he wanted to mark him up. 

"It's okay, just relax." He murmured as Steve breathed in and out slowly. His eyes were closed and his face screwed up in pain as he tried to move again. 

"Hey, what'd I say? Relax Steve, don't push yourself." Billy admonished gently, kissing the boy roughly on the temple. 

 

After a few minutes, he drew back a bit, easing the pressure and then thrust experimentally again. Steve moaned; his back arching in pleasure as he wrapped his legs around Billy's waist. He felt the pain dissipate slightly giving way to an immense pleasure that filled him good and made his entire body shiver with want. He let out a broken sob as Billy thrust harder this time. 

"Fuck. Me!" He cried, his body jack-knifing hard as Billy complied and fucked up into him. Steve was seeing stars and he clenched around the blonde boy, moaning for him to do it harder. Fuck him deeper. His eyes were wet again and he felt the tears run down his face in rivulets. This was heaven, he swore. 

"Goddammit princess," Billy growled, "You feel so fucking good on my cock." 

Steve gasped in surprise as Billy pulled out of him harshly and turned him on his front; face down, ass up. He cried out hard as Billy shoved in again, penetrating him to the fucking brim. The pressure between his hips increased and his nails scrabbled for purchase on the leather surface of the backseat. 

"Feel that pretty boy?" Billy grunted, practically mounting Steve like an animal and pounding into him twice as hard.

"Billy! Yes! Fuck!" He sobbed out, his hand slapping hard against the window from a rough thrust. He let out a ragged breath as Billy grabbed him by the hair and pulled hard, using it to hold Steve while he fucked him. He felt Billy's cock brush up against something inside him and he almost blacked out. 

"Bil- uh! Fuck I can't! I can't- I'm gonna-" He sobbed incoherently, pushing back against Billy's thick cock just to add more punishment to the pleasure he was currently drowning in. God, Billy was fucking ruining him. 

"Cum baby. Go ahead." Billy grunted, his own breathing picking up as he felt his body tighten; he was gonna fucking cum inside Steve. 

"Fuck, Steve!" He growled as he came, his own orgasm triggering Steve's. 

Steve swore he felt his soul leave his body as he came, tightening impossibly around Billy. He gasped hoarsely as they both began to come down from their respective highs. His body revelled in the feeling of Billy's cock spurting hot cum inside him. It felt fucking intimate, he thought as Billy planted a kiss to his wet hair that was soaked in sweat. 

Billy shifted a little so that Steve could lie on his back more comfortably before resting protectively on top of him again. Steve's eyes locked with his and he had to take a second look to make sure he hadn't been dreaming. Steve looked so beautiful; completely fucked out and debauched in the best of ways. Billy couldn't help but plant another kiss on his forehead, grinning at the dopey smile the boy gave him. 

"Billy I-" He began and it was clear that he was high-strung on emotions and his post-orgasmic state so Billy stopped him. 

Billy was already beginning to have reservations but he figured, why ruin the moment now? 

"We’ll talk about it tomorrow, 'kay?" He whispered softly, tucking brunette strands behind Steve's ear. 

Steve purred in understanding, wrapping his arms around Billy tight and falling asleep within seconds. 

Billy couldn’t fucking stop thinking.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Nothing's ever perfect. Much love, Sam_Haine


	9. I Don't Even Need Your Love, But You Treat Me Like a Stranger and that Feels So Rough

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Tales of an endless heart, cursed is the fool who's willing." Things are never easy for the giving heart and the restless wanderer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> BAM! Here you go. :) Hope you guys enjoy and thank you for the love and support! I really do appreciate all of you!

I Don't Even Need Your Love, But You Treat Me Like a Stranger and that Feels So Rough

Waking up to the early morning sunshine and the sound of chirping birds was cliché enough that Billy groaned in annoyance. He hated mornings; was never a morning person and never would be. But one glance at the naked body sleeping peacefully beneath him and Billy was already second guessing himself. 

Steve fucking Harrington, he thought with a huff. Who would've thought that he and Harrington would have sex in the middle of nowhere, in Billy's car? Hell, who would've thought that he and Harrington were actually closer than friends? They were as different as day and night, and it was understood that the two were locked in a never-ending rivalry ever since Billy fucking moved to Hawkins. That fight in the Byers' house -which seemed like it happened ages ago now- was supposed to consolidate their rivalry. Not make them confused out of their minds about how they felt about each other. The thoughts swirl around Billy's head like a hurricane as he just stares down at the boy, a hand running through his blonde curls worriedly. God knows he'd tried his best not to get too affected by the pretty brunette. But that was exactly what was happening right now. Steve made him care. Made him want to do better- to be better... to love better. It was a tough pill to swallow.

Steve Harrington fucked him up in ways he never knew possible. 

Steve had probably turned to lie on his stomach sometime after they fell asleep. He used his arms as a pillow to rest his head on and Billy thought with a smile that he looked like an actual princess. A soft, buttery ray of sunlight was cast over his face, highlighting those high cheekbones and carving soft shadows just under it. His dark lashes fluttered slightly, resting on his cheekbones, making him look even more beautiful. Billy traced his gaze all the way down to Steve's lips, his breath hitching as he saw the results of what they'd done last night. The boy's lips were a deep pink with a red tinge, still swollen and bruised from servicing Billy's cock. He groaned, running a hand through Steve's brunette locks, brushing them away from the boy's pretty face. Steve shifted a little under the caress and Billy saw the bruises on his neck, the dark purple and red bites standing out in stark contrast against that smooth, pale skin. 

"Fuck princess." Billy rasped, a deep growl in his throat as he leaned down to kiss each bruise gently. Those were his. His marks. His brands, borne out of passion and desire that were painted on Steve's skin like art. 

Steve mewls, still deep in slumber and Billy wraps an arm around his stomach, pulling him tight against his clothed body. He'd never hated clothes as much as he did in that moment. His cock stirred in his jeans, causing him to buck gently against Steve's butt. God, he was so fucking horny. Steve mewled again and involuntarily arched his back, pressing his ass back into Billy's groin. He's going fucking nuts trying to keep himself under control but Steve's body was made for sin. He slips one arm under Steve's neck, hand gently but firmly grasping the boy's abused throat. The other arm is clutching Steve around the waist. 

Steve's breath comes out in short, sweet, staccato gasps, the fingers tightening around his throat as Billy humps his ass hard and firm. He doesn't want to wake Steve up just yet but goddamn it, he was going to lose his mind if he didn't find his release soon. He's growling harshly like a lion with a piece of meat as he pushes harder; Steve's broken gasps intensifying with every thrust. His eyes are just fluttering open as Billy grasps his cock, working it with long, purposeful strokes. 

"Billy?" He moans sweetly, choking slightly under the hand that's wrapped around his throat. 

"Yeah baby, I'm here. I'm here." Billy answers quietly but there's a roughness to his voice that has Steve shivering. Another hard thrust and Billy's unzipping his jeans once again. He brings his hand up to Steve's face and roughly commands, "Spit." Steve obeys almost instantly and Billy wastes no time in slicking up his cock with it. He wordlessly positions the head between Steve's cheeks, sliding it up and down against the boy's abused hole. 

"Oh fuh- ah!" Steve keens, his back arching beautifully against Billy's front as the thick cock penetrates him as it did last night. It hurts so good that Steve can feel the tears springing into his eyes. He was still sore from their last fuck. They both groan at the wet, slurping sound Billy's cock makes in his hole.

"Fuck princess! You're still fucking wet and dripping with my cum huh?" The blonde snarls harshly into Steve's ear, hand moving from the boy's throat to his hair, gripping it tightly and yanking his neck back possessively. 

"Uh! Yes! Bill- don't- s..stop!" Steve wails, the hard shaft inside his ass digging deeper against his prostate. 

"Wasn't planning to pretty boy. God! Hear that? Sounds like I'm fucking a goddamn pussy. Fucking wet bitch." Billy grunts out in a gravelly voice. 

Steve just sobs in response, delirious with pleasure. 

"You like that huh sweetheart? Hm? God, your pussy's just sloppy with my cum huh?" 

Steve practically bawls out in pleasure at that as Billy's cock nails his prostate just fucking right. He can feel how wet and sloppy his hole is, slipping and slicking against that hard column of flesh as it pounds in and out of him. Absently as his body is being rocked back and forth on Billy's cock he thinks, this is the kind of sex that makes babies. And he cums at the thought- sobbing like a child 'cause he can't help it. Billy's dick made him feel that way. 

"Fuck! Fuck me! Billy! Please!" He cries out as shudders rip through his body, Billy still thrusting into him from behind.

"Yeah! I'm fuckin' you princess- God! Fuck, cum for me!" Billy snarls, his body tensing as he reaches his climax. He's so out of it now, completely possessed by the fucking 'feelings' Steve brings out in him. He grabs Steve by the back of his neck and shoves him down harshly into the leather seat. The boy moans weakly in protest but Billy's too fucked up right now to care. 

"Fuck!" The cry is loud and it echoes gratingly in the space of the car as Billy fucking shoots his load deep inside Steve's already cum-sloppy hole. The boy wails weakly under him but takes it like the good bitch he is. At least that's what Billy has to tell himself. That that's all Steve was to him; a bitch to get his cock wet for the night. Hell, since last night after they'd done it, Billy had planned on telling Steve that this was a one-time thing. That it meant absolutely nothing to him and that he was just another hole to keep his dick warm. But one look at Steve's big, brown eyes and the passion and the trust Billy had seen in them made him change his mind. He would wait til morning to break it to him. 

But that made it even harder. So as he rested there, softening cock still lodged deep inside the panting boy, he tried to make a decision that he knew would kill both of them. He steeled himself.

"We should have that talk now Harrington." 

..............

"Now Tom, I'm a very busy man. And you know I don't like when my time is being wasted."

Tom stood awkwardly in the dark room, hands tugging nervously at his lab coat. The boss didn't sound too pleased when he'd radioed about Billy Hargrove. Confidential information like that were kept strictly off the airwaves to keep out unwelcome ears. And if they'd gotten caught, it would set Hawkins on fire. The boss needed to stay incognito. There were no questions about it. Tom was relatively new to the whole operation and if they didn't need his expertise in psychosis, he would've been taken care of... in the bad kind of way. So the boss decided to hear him out. Would spare him if his suggestion offered a better way.

"Yes, sorry. I know I should've just come to you instead of using the walkie...it was dangerous. And stupid. But I had good reason and I think you'll like the alternative better."

The goons around the boss raised their brows in unison as he said that. It was almost as if to say, "you do not challenge the boss nor do you offer direction, suggestion or commentary". Tom knew he was treading a fine line here. He swallowed.

"Go on." Was all the man said, his raspy voice giving no emotions away.

"Ah, ....okay. Well I found a better alternative for your experiment. A less dangerous one too." 

"Do you now?" 

Tom paused, noting the slight irritation in the man's voice. 

"Uh... yeah."

"And who is this person?"

"The Steve Harrington kid." 

There was a genuine pause as if the boss was actually considering it. He nodded slowly and folded his arms. 

"Why do you think the son of the one of the richest family in Hawkins is a better alternative to a wildfire degenerate like Billy Hargrove?" He questioned curiously, seriously assessing the connection between the two.

Tom nodded indulgently.

"Well, for one his parents are usually gone during conference season which spans over a period of six months. It started last weekend."

The boss raised a brow for him to go on.

"And well, I've been scoping him out and they've already left. Six months is exactly the time we need to carry out the experiments and assess the results."

There was a low chuckle from the mysterious man.

"Tom, the reason why we approved the plans for Hargrove is because his father is abusive. He doesn't care what happens to his son and when Billy disappears, he won't find it suspicious. Billy has been booked as a runaway teen several times, we've checked his records. Neil won't go to the Chief and he won't go searching for him. The key word here, young Tom, is unproblematic. Harrington would be a complication." 

Tom sat quietly for a minute. The boss had clearly thought everything out. But there was one problem. Billy was the new kid in town and if he went missing, that sort of thing would spread like wildfire in a small town like Hawkins. He said as much to the boss.

"Even if Neil decides not to report it or look for him, people are going to ask questions. And given the bombshell that dropped a year ago about the Department of Energy and the Holland girl, it's going to put even more speculation on us."

"So you think Harrington won't?"

"No, of course he will. But we can set it up so that it looks like some typical rich kid rebellion act or something. From my recent scope-outs, he's been moody lately. Has nightmares and drinks out of his father's liquor cabinet to put himself to sleep. He's troubled is what I'm saying. Everyone must have noticed it so it would make sense for him to runaway. We can do the same thing with his car like they did with Holland's car. Plant it in Chicago or something."

"Tom, the Harringtons own half of Hawkins' insurance policies. They won't hesitate to burst the bank on search efforts to find their son. If they find out that he ran away, they'll still have to report it to the Hawkins Sheriff department. And people will be a lot more invested in looking for him than the Hargrove kid. Our organization is not prepared to deal with such ramifications." 

"Billy will be problematic. Not only does he have a stronger constitution than Harrington, but he's also built to withstand the effects of our experiments. Steve is much weaker and is ideal for our tests. He fits the target demographic perfectly. Do you want to risk a failed experiment on someone who can fight the system or see results on one who will bend to it? We've spent millions to make preparations for the new equipment and machines. It would be wasted on Billy Hargrove." 

The boss takes a few long minutes to ponder the proposition. He genuinely looks indecisive and Tom counts that as a win. Although he was new to the scheme, he'd been a crucial part in setting up half of those experiments and he'd be damned if they failed. Working for the boss had been a blessing for him and sometimes he thought he and the man shared the same sinister spirit. He wasn't one for conspiracy. No. He'd rather be a part of it. 

Finally the boss spoke. 

"Okay Tom. It seems as if you've convinced me of a better alternative. I will study your suggestion and the team will be informed on who will be test subject 24. Hargrove.... or Harrington." 

...............

"We should have that talk now Harrington." 

Steve knew by the tone of his voice and the way he'd called him 'Harrington', that Billy was about to break his fucking heart. He knew the other boy better than he thought he did. Knew when he was angry or sad. Knew when he was fucking around and when he was deathly serious. There was just something in his voice that gave him away and Steve hated himself for knowing these 'tells'. Hated himself for letting this thing with Billy go as far as it did. 

So as he sat there, back in the passenger's side, Billy smoking away in the driver's seat next to him, he tried to calm himself down. He was back in his clothes which, for the most part had not been totally ruined. They felt weird on him for some reason and he guessed it had something to do with having sex with Hargrove. It just felt wrong to be so covered up when he was sitting in the guy's car. The same car they'd fucked in- twice. He scoffed softly, but the smile on his face was bitter as he shook his head and looked out the window. 

"What's your problem?" Billy asks, maybe a bit too harshly because Steve flinches at his tone and he instantly feels terrible. 

"I already know what you're about to say. So, ..." Steve mutters, curling up in the seat, feeling small. He rests his chin on his knees and wraps his arms around them. 

"So what?" Billy bites again and each time is worse for Steve. Each harsh word that Billy spits at him hurts like hell because he remembers how softly Billy had whispered to him last night. And how those lips had kissed him with a careful gentleness when he'd been scared for his first time. Those same lips now curled to sneer at him mockingly and it fucking hurt. 

"So say it." He murmurs, leaning his head back, feeling his eyes begin to water. 

Billy scoffs darkly, flicking his zippo open and then slamming it closed. He takes another drag on his cigarette and exhales the smoke with a harsh sigh. 

"You telling me what to do Harrington?" He rumbles and his tone has a nasty edge to it. Steve just shakes his head and mutters a meek "no". 

"Sure sounds like it." 

Steve looks out the window again and can't help it when the tears start falling. He screws his eyes shut and tries to stop but he can't. His chest hurts as if someone was reaching inside him and squeezing his heart. He sniffles quietly and breathes out, trying to find some sense of calm. He can't. 

Billy looks out his own window, gritting his teeth as he hears Steve cry. It fucking hurts and it takes everything in him to not reach over and hold him. To tell him that everything was going to be okay. He can't do that now and it makes him angry. He snorts carelessly. 

"You knew this was coming Harrington. We both did." He finally mutters, flicking his thumb against the cigarette butt that's in his hand outside the window. Steve doesn't say anything. He just keeps staring out the goddamn window as if it's gonna give them all the answers they need. It's pissing Billy off, because he's really trying here. 

"Well say something!" He yells and immediately regrets it as Steve buries his face in his arms; his knees are the only thing holding him up right now. He sniffles again and shakes his head, his shoulders trembling. 

"Steve..." Billy murmurs quietly, putting his cigarette out in the tray on the dash. He touches the boy's shoulder and he gets shaken off as if he'd burned him. 

"No." Steve breathes looking up from his knees.

"I get it. I... it was.... I get it." He mumbles, and Billy can see the silvery tear tracks on his cheek. He could feel his own eyes misting but he ignores it. 

"Get what?" He snaps. It takes another minute of sniffling before Steve speaks again. 

"I get it Billy. We were just... I dunno, having fun. Wasn't anything deep. I.... get it. No need to get emotional or clingy over it right?" He murmurs with a bitter chuckle that makes Billy want to hit him. 

"Don't put words in my mouth Harrington." He growls dangerously. 

Steve laughs again, but this time it's almost sadistic. Like it's meant to be hurtful. And for Billy, it is.

"Well that's what you were gonna say, wasn't it? That we just lost our goddamn minds one night and decided to fuck. I lost my virginity and you added another notch on your belt-" 

"Hey!" Billy snarls grabbing Steve's wrist, his clutch hard and unforgiving. Steve gasps in genuine surprise and stares at him with wide teary eyes. His lips are trembling as he and Billy stare each other down. Billy doesn't give a fuck; he's pissed. 

"What the fuck do you know about me? Another notch in my belt? Let's not forget who followed me here in the first place. You did! Like some bitch chasing for a bite yeah- everyone in this goddamn town wants a piece of me. Don't tell me you weren't looking to satisfy some needs of your own you who-" 

"You're hurting me." Steve whimpers, fresh tears in his eyes as he tries to squirm his wrist out of Billy's steel grip. Billy lets go with a hard shove that has Steve closing in on himself. He's rubbing his wrist, trying to bring back circulation to the thing. It already has pinkish finger imprints on the pale skin. He's shaking now and he doesn't know if it's the anger or the hurt or the shame he feels. He's a network of crossed emotions that are fucking with his head in the worst way. 

"Don't play dumb with me Harrington. You can blame all of this on me all you want. Say I wanted to just add your name to the list of bitches I've fucked. But you're the one who started this shit! God I should've just listened to my fucking gut and tore out of here when you showed up. It's simple. This was a mis-" 

Billy's rant got cut short when Steve yelled a harsh "don't!". He clenched his jaw shut and fixed Steve with a cold glare. He almost broke face when he saw how livid Steve actually was. Those brown doe-eyes glinted angrily at him and his cute mouth was pulled into a hard line. He looked just as pissed off as the time Billy had called him out for being the reason why Nancy left him for a freak like Byers. Only this time, he seemed much more affected. He looked ready for a fight.

"You can say this was a one-time thing. And you can say it was just a fuck you needed for the night but don't you dare say it was a mistake! I swear to God Billy- don't you say that! Not to me!" He started off all angry yelling and snarls but by the end of it all he just broke down sobbing. He covered his face with his hands and leaned back in his seat. 

Billy sighed, running a palm over his face tiredly. He leans over to pull Steve into his arms but the boy shoves him away, hard. 

"Don't touch me!" 

And that hurts Billy in ways he didn't expect it to. He didn't know why but suddenly being told that he wasn't allowed to touch Steve- the very same boy who he'd been inside all night and this morning; the very same boy he'd held tightly and touched and tasted and felt with his hands, his fingers and his tongue; and the same boy he'd made his own when he took his virginity and bruised him inside and out; it hurt like someone had stabbed him in the fucking heart. 

He tries to do it again but Steve shoves open his door and runs out the damn car. 

"Shit- Steve! Hey!" He yells, throwing open his own door, grabbing Steve as he's hurrying to his own car. Steve fights him, pushing away from him, his fists catching Billy right in the chest.

"Let me go! Billy let m-" 

"No!" Billy shouts, grabbing Steve by the shoulders and shaking him hard. His eyes are still wet, thick, long lashes spreading darkly over his fucking pretty eyes. His hair is falling into them and kill Billy dead if he doesn't think that Steve Harrington looks like the most beautiful boy in the whole fucking world right now. He leans down and kisses him gently on the lips, earning a longing whine from the boy. Then he pulls away and lets him go with a weak shove.

He runs his hands through his hair and yanks at it hard. He wonders what he did to be in this situation right now with Steve. Wonders what he did to deserve the boy. And what he did to lose him the same day. Of course he wanted something with Steve. Of course he loved the fact that he was the one that Steve gave it up to; especially when he didn't deserve such a privilege. But he couldn't and they both knew that. Even if Steve made him feel things for the first time in his life. 

God, this boy had him fucked up. 

Steve is just standing there behind him with his cheeks burning and his hands wrapped tightly around himself. He's looking down at the floor all ashamed and regretful as if he could help what he was doing to Billy. He chewed his lower lip hard, making it red and sore. He doesn't know what to do. Or what to say. But he has so much he wants Billy to understand. 

"I know we... can't ever have something even close to a.... relationship. I mean.... I don't even know why I'm talking about relationships, it was just one fuck." He starts and bites his tongue when Billy turns around to just stare at him, those piercing blue eyes brimming with unshed tears. 

"Steve." Is all he says weakly, hands on his hips and his head down. 

"I know I can get clingy and... and I can lose my mind when I start to care about people. And it fucking sucks- I know that. But, ....we could make this work." Steve says simply and it's the most open he's been since this wrecking ball of a conversation started. 

"We can-" He tries to reason as Billy starts shaking his head in disagreement. He goes nearer to where the boy is standing and tugs on the sleeve of his leather jacket pleadingly. 

"We can Billy. Please... we ca-" He begs; his voice sounds sickeningly desperate to his own ears. 

"We can do what Steve? You know why we can't. This is a small town. And if word gets around I might as well pack my stuff up and leave cos Neil will kill me. And he'll make your life a living hell. I... we can't make this work. It was just a fuck. Let's leave it at that." 

He feels like an asshole for saying it the minute the words leave his mouth and he just watches as Steve crumples before his eyes, going over to his car and just letting the tears drop onto the hood of his own car. He has his hands propping himself up against the thing as if he would fall if he let go. Billy resists the urge to go over to him, hands rigid at his side. 

Steve's head is down and suddenly he feels dumb. All those nightmares and memories that had been keeping him awake and sleepless coming out to haunt him. To cruelly mock him and laugh in his face as he stands there fighting for the love of someone who won't even try to love him back. He realizes in that moment that it's no one's fault but his own. All those people in his life that he called friends and the ones he called family, they didn't keep away from him because they didn't love him. No. They stayed away from him because he was unlovable. Undesirable. And just painful to keep around. Nancy always said he was an idiot. He guessed she was right, the whole damn time. He loved people with all he had and gave them a hundred and ten percent and got absolutely nothing in return. She also called him bullshit and even though her prime defence was that she was drunk, Steve knew better. People always spoke their minds when they were inebriated by alcohol. God, his own parents preferred to spend their time working than to even stay in the same house as him. 

And now Billy. He sighed. 

Billy fucking Hargrove just had to put the last nail in his coffin. Just took his virginity and called it a one-time fuck. Made him feel things in places all over his body never even knew existed. Made his legs shake and his fucking heart race only to drop him like a stone at the bottom of an icy river. He guessed he really couldn't blame him; if he had a father like Neil Hargrove he'd be scared too. But Steve's father was just as terrible and while he was not violent in the physical manner, he tore into Steve with hateful words and spiteful actions. The man hated Steve since the day he was born, and if he found out he was with a boy he'd finally have actual reason to do something about it. 

But Billy wasn't just locking him off because of his Dad. No. He could see it in the boy's piercing blue eyes that he didn't think it was worth it. That 'he' was worth it. And that really hurt. Well fucking forgive Steve for giving his all and receiving nothing but pain and regret in return. His chest constricts painfully as he turns to face Billy who is just staring at him, an unreadable expression in his eyes. He looks so serious it makes Steve gulp nervously, his chest closing in on him even more. 

"You're right." He says solemnly and it's not what he really wants to say. On the inside he's screaming... crying out to be heard.

"You're right." You're wrong and you won't admit it!

"It was just a one-time fuck." You took something from me! And I gave it to you. I fucking gave you everything I had.

"And it would've never worked in a place like this." We could've tried but I know you don't think I'm worth it. No one does! No matter how hard I try! 

"And... I'm sorry." Fucking hold me and never let me go! 

But you won't, he thinks as Billy just stares him down, not moving an inch. You won't hold my hand and tell me everything's gonna be okay. You won't let me cry on your shoulder. You won't keep my head above the water that I'm slowly drowning in. You won't even hear me out! The only thing you'll do is just stand there, like everyone else, and watch me crash and burn. Until I've finally had enough and then I'll be gone; never meaning anything to anybody. But I get it. 

"I get it." He finishes before getting in his car, quietly driving away. Doesn't even look at Billy in the rear-view mirror. 

................

He's driving down the fucking road and he can't even see. He angrily wipes the tears that are blurring his vision and slams his hands hard on the steering wheel in frustration. He keeps yelling "get over it!" at himself but can't seem to follow through. His chest feels like it's crushing all the organs inside him and he floors the accelerator in hopes of reaching home fast, before he suffers a fucking heart attack on the road or something. 

He screams at himself and his cry just echoes pathetically in his car. Not even the cool breeze whipping through his hair can calm him down. He's about to lose it when a loud siren sounds behind him. 

"Shit." He mutters dejectedly, pulling over. 

He makes out a Hawkins sheriff's department vehicle and prays to God it's not Hopper. He does not need the man prying into his life right now, like he's tried to do many times before. Hopper was one of those people who could see through all the masks and facades and pull the right skeleton that's hiding in the right closet. Two cops approach him.

"License and registration." 

Steve looks up and sees that none of them are Hopper under the brims of their hats. He sighs in relief, getting out his papers. He hands them over to the pretty nondescript officer.

"Son, do you realize you were pushing sixty in a forty mile area?" The man questions, staring down at him from behind his dark shades. 

"I'm sorry officers, I didn't really notice." He mutters tiredly. 

"Step out the car please." The other one orders in a stern voice and Steve's too tired to fucking argue. He's not drunk dammit! He steps out the car anyway. They roughly turn him around, patting him down for possession or some shit. He frowns. 

"I was speeding, not doing drugs." He mutters, annoyed. That earns him a bitch slap across the face. The officer who'd patted him down turns him around roughly, grabbing his hair and pulling his head to the side, exposing his neck. 

 

"And we're not really cops. But that doesn't matter does it boy?"

"What th-" 

He doesn't get to finish as the other officer sticks a needle into his neck, emptying the thing into his bloodstream. He gasps in pain before his vision starts to darken. 

He's out within seconds.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More to come! I practically had a wild night out and was puking my guts out while I wrote this! Moral of the story, don't drink so fucking much next time. The hangover IS NOT WORTH IT. Much love- Sam_Haine


	10. Don't Talk To Strangers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Strange Things are happening in Hawkins... again. Steve's bravado is volatile at best and so is Billy's.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been a while guys! I've been working for Christmas and then was forced to spend some time with my family. But, I'm back in my apartment and the quiet has allowed me to write again. I've missed you all! Oh and Season's Greetings!

Don't Talk To Strangers

After Steve left, Billy didn't know what the hell to do with himself. He was still in a state of confusing indifference because of their- he wasn't sure if it was a fight or just a gross outpouring of pent up emotions by both of them. But it was pretty messy and it touched a raw nerve for him because he'd left the side of him that truly cared or gave a shit about anything back in California and he'd made a promise to himself that he'd never be weak like that again. 

But Steve.... Steve fucking Harrington had to come into his life and fuck up everything in proximity. Tilted every goddamn thing out of orbit and sent it all in broken pieces all over the messed up universe that was Billy's life. Sure, he'd loved with a similar passion before he moved to Hawkins; but that love had been for the one person who loved him unconditionally, even if his father couldn't. That was his mom. Steve sure as hell wasn't his mother, but the little moments they'd spent in the backseat of his car.... made Billy feel a much more raw and soul-bearing love that he couldn't seem to get out of his head now. He knew from the moment he'd had the brunette in his lap; kissing him and touching him and marking up his skin with his teeth; things were about to change not just in his life, but in the world around him. And then it all came crashing down with a single thought. A single name.

Neil Hargrove had always been the bane of Billy's existence. And Billy supposed he'd continue to be until the day he died. And even after that day passed, Billy felt as if he'd always be living in his father's shadow; cowering from the memory of his presence and remaining a scared little boy who was deathly afraid of his daddy's hand. Billy could give a shit about the society around them. People were always afraid of breaking the mould and drifting away from the status quo; drifting too far off the reserve. Steve might've probably been much wearier of Hawkins' opinions of two boys being together like he and Billy had been, but not Billy. Call it the Californian culture or his own decline into degeneration- Billy would and could deal with that. But if his father were to ever find out about him and Steve, he'd be dead within minutes. And he knew it seemed pretty weak and cowardly, using his Dad as an excuse to back out of his true feelings for Harrington, but Billy just couldn't. No matter how much it actually hurt to see Steve get into his car and drive off with tears in his eyes. 

Sighing in defeat, he got back into his car -which made him queasy for a bit- and drove back home; nothing but Steve Harrington on his troubled mind. 

.............

It's black. 

Everything's pitch black- all black and he can't see. Can't even make out his own fingers in front his face. It's scary and thrilling at the same time and it makes his skin cold and his stomach turn. He's taken by a severe fever that spreads a deathly heat up his spine and reverberates at the base of his skull. His head is pounding like someone had smashed his forehead into a steel panel and he has the disgusting urge to throw up. It all hurts and he can't seem to fight his way out of the darkness. He's cold sweating now, his widened eyes flitting anxiously around the blackness ahead of him, looking for something- someone to help him. There is no one. 

He hears a sharp cry for help but it sounds distant in his ear. He hears it again and then realizes that it's his own voice. It's him, sounding like a burnt out whistle that's filled with desert sand. Dry and toneless. He does it again and this time his throat burns like someone set fire to it. The flesh has probably been rubbed raw and sore with all the screaming. He can almost taste copper in his throat. What the hell was happening to him?! 

He closes his eyes in an effort to remember exactly how he got into the situation he was in and immediately regrets it. Because the first thing he recalls, is Billy Hargrove. The memory of the blue-eyed, blonde haired boy sends signals rife with agony and sadness to his heart and he instantly feels hopeless. As if whatever situation he's currently in doesn't matter anymore; just the fact that Steve was probably one of the most unwanted and insignificant person in all of Hawkins. He sighs and wracks his brain some more, cursing himself for the moment of weakness. Then he remembers-

Two cops. He got pulled over. For speeding apparently. But then the first officer said something about not actually being a cop and they stabbed him with a goddamn needle. 

Shit!

He opens his eyes in a panic now, gasping for breath as he feels the intense feverish heat spread throughout his entire skull. He groans but powers through the struggle it takes to get up from where he's lying. He wonders absently why he hadn't made an attempt to get up or move in the first place but he realizes why when a sharp wave of nausea washes inside of him. He's so sick, it's actually scary. He's dry heaving by the time his knees hit the floor and he's full on panicking now. He was kidnapped! Taken captive by two crooked cops parading around as Hawkins' finest khaki authorities. God, did Hopper know them? His mind grabs on to the idea of the heroic Chief and he thinks it odd that he finds solace in the thought of the man. 

But it shouldn't have been odd though; especially when Jim Hopper had spent the past two years saving the entire town from unthinkable monsters and alien universes that could swallow the town whole within seconds. Steve himself had stood witness to the awesome bravery of the police Chief when Will and the rest of the kids were in danger. He'd seen or at least heard how the man protected that one girl- Eleven- no, Jane, from the adversaries who'd wanted to use and abuse her for her powers. Steve found himself drawing strength from the man and even though it was weird, it was the only reassurance he had. And he clung to it like a life raft. 

A sickening feeling of dread was creeping up on him not long after as he suddenly heard curt movements nearby. He flicked his eyes around at the pure darkness around him, trying desperately to assess the source of the sound but failed miserably. Maybe he was asleep and this was all one big, twisted nightmare that he'd wake up from soon. The movements sounded a lot like brisk footsteps; the clocking of big heels on a smooth tiled floor. Where the hell was he? 

"Rise and shine boy."

A deep voice suddenly echoed loudly inside the small room, hurting his ears as a small sliver of white appears in front of his eyes. He can't help but rivet his focus to the sliver that slowly grows wider and brighter, like someone's cracking open a door. He hisses as his eyes are suddenly attacked by the harshness of the bright white lights outside the door, rough hands grabbing him by the arms to yank him out of the room. 

"Get off- uh!" He grunts weakly but it sounds pathetic to his own ears, raspy and tired. His throat is sandpaper and on fire again. 

"Fuck! Stop it kid!" A voice yells at him. 

He can't see because his eyes are screwed shut, blocking out the mean whiteness of the outside world. He can't see for shit and that sucks because he can't tell where he's being taken from or to. There are two men dragging him along and even without his sight he can tell that they're brutes. Enforcers. And not people it'd be wise to try and escape from. 

But then again, Steve's never been very wise. 

He lets go of the tension in his entire body and suddenly collapses like a deadweight against the two men. He grins satisfactorily as they grunt in surprise, weakening their hold on him out of reflex and he capitalizes on the moment. He wrenches his arms out of their grip, forcing his burning eyes open to meet the harsh light.

"Get him now-"

"I got him!" 

For a moment, all he can see is white and it's disorienting. But Steve doesn't care. Doesn't even think about it when he just runs. He can make out a hallway that he's running down. It looks like a hospital of some sort. Definitely not Hawkins. What th-

"You're not getting away kid!" 

Was this a lab? The thought that maybe he was kidnapped and taken to a lab makes his stomach drop and it's just as disorienting as the lights. Was he taken by scientists with nasty intentions for him just like they'd had for that little girl? Jane? El? He feels the anxiety in him worsen and it slows him down. He can't think or properly function in that moment and suddenly his great escape is over as he crashes face first into a man in white whose chest is akin to that of a fucking brick wall. 

"No-!" He tries to fight but the muscled arms incapacitating him are impossible to get out of. They've got him in a tight and uncomfortable choke hold and he has to gasp to breathe properly. His nails scrabble uselessly against skin but he's not going anywhere-

"Got us a feisty one." The man grunts, tightening his hold. 

... anywhere but back to where they were dragging him in the first place he supposes. 

Again, he feels hopeless.

............

"Why the hell were you la- ...hey! Get outta my car!" 

Billy swivels around in his seat from Max to gape incredulously at the four teenagers that are currently trying to squish themselves into his goddamn car. They're all unknowlingly desecrating hallowed grounds in his backseat and it makes Billy antsy. They all freeze, looking back at him with bright eyes and sheepish grins. 

"Hey Billy!" The scary one who weirded him out spoke, fixing that stupid hat on his curly mop head. 

"We need a ride home and since Steve isn't here to pick us up, we figured you could." 

Billy raises an unimpressed brow at the little fuck. He's ready to tear off some heads when he realizes the little shit mentioned Steve and he immediately backtracks.

"Okay first of all, just because I 'could' doesn't mean I 'should' and second, where the hell is St- ...uh, Harrington? He usually drives you muppets home- y'know, being your babysitter and all that." 

Dustin shrugs as Lucas cuts in.

"Look, Steve hasn't come to pick us up since Tuesday."

"And you didn't think to check on him?" Billy deadpans.

"Yeah, we're gonna pay him a visit Friday and send him a get well card." Mike cuts in, smiling like that's supposed to answer Billy's question. 

"He's sick?" Billy asks out of pure, honest to God curiosity and he instantly clamps his mouth shut, realizing his mistake. What he should've said was "Get the hell out of my car!" but instead he just asked if Harrington was sick... sounding like he cared and all that shit. He hadn't seen or heard from Steve since that day- night, whatever- the point was, that he'd just thought Steve was trying his damnest to avoid seeing him. 

"Why do you care?" Dustin asks honestly, his tone sounding heavily defensive of the doe-eyed brunette. The kid's eyes are narrowed suspiciously at him and he seriously feels out of his element at the moment. 

"I don't!" He snaps and he knows it's a lie the minute the words leave his mouth. His chest twinges uncomfortably at the thought of that last time he saw Steve. Completely and utterly broken. Empty and wrecked and... Billy had done that. 

"Well you should." Max mutters, shrugging and looking anywhere but at him; ignoring his glare like she hadn't just told him what to do. 

Nobody tells me what to do.

"He 'was nice to you when you were in the hospital. Maybe you can try to be nice to him and see if he's okay?" Will Byers suggests meekly from where he's squashed next to Mike. He doesn't meet Billy's eyes... like he's afraid of him and it makes Billy feel some type of shame. Because from what he's heard, Will was the sweetest one out of the entire group. 

Looking back up from his guilt trip he finds himself growing incredibly squeamish under the accusing expressions of the kids. Even Max. And it makes him angry. How the hell can five teens make him feel so vulnerable with just their fucking stares?! They must have some kind of special ability or some shit he thinks as he growls at them. 

"Get out. Take the bus." He sneers turning back around to light up a cigarette. Max slaps it out of his hands and he glares murderously at her. 

"The fuck Max-!" 

"Take us home. All of us." She yells, nothing but disappointment and sadness in those clear green eyes. 

"I thought you would've been different now tha-" She starts but cuts herself off, not willing to go back to those recent memories of Billy in the hospital just yet. Neither was Billy. The silence in the car is awkward now and he can't help but be mad at himself for causing it. He sighs reminding himself that he had promised Max to be better and not so goddamn cynical all the time. 

"Alright fine, shit." 

There's a collective sigh of relief from the backseat which annoys him even more. 

"But you twerps better shut the fuck up while you're in my car." He mutters loudly, making sure all of them heard. 

"And no complainin' about the tunes." He tacks on just as an aside. 

"Nobody cares about your stupid music right now Hargrove." Dustin states with a brave grin on his face, somehow feeling the need to explore the brotherly relation he can generate with Billy in comparison to the one he's built with Steve. Apparently dissing his tunes was 'not' one way of doing that. 

"Shut the hell up nerd!" Billy growls, making a point of picking up his cigarette and zippo from the foot-well while staring at Max crossly.

"He's right though." Mike points out and that earns him a smack from Will who seems bugged out of his mind at Billy. 

"Hey! Hey! You guys wanna walk home? Huh? Cos I can make that happen y'know!" He yells, sounding like an annoyed parent. He hates it.

There is silence for about five minutes after that until a short outburst of laughter from Dustin escalates into a full-blown gut-busting cackle from all of the kids, Max included. Billy can feel his mood lighten surprisingly at the happy sounds and tries to steel himself. 

"The hell's so funny?" He grunts, failing miserably in his attempts to sound cross. He just sounds mildly annoyed. 

"You sound like Steve." Dustin says, his toothy grin making Billy smirk slightly into his rear-view mirror. 

"What?"

"Yeah you do!" Lucas snickers, crumbling helplessly into the other boys as they all collapse into a fit of amusement. 

The thought of Steve though; and the sound of his name? It's all extremely sobering for Billy and he feels his body tense up again. Jesus, was Harrington really planning to avoid him forever? He couldn't stand to actually believe that that was really the case and instead wished -no, prayed- that the pretty brunette would come around. Would at least hear him out. That whole fight ....or whatever they'd had left a bad taste in his mouth and he couldn't shake it off. There was no other way to explain it. Steve had gotten emotional over losing his virginity and Billy had just acted like an ass about it. Harrington wasn't looking for a relationship -said so himself; .....he just wanted Billy to ... fuck! He didn't fucking know what his princess wanted! And the uncertainty made his head spin and his stomach queasy. 

Sighing in defeat, Billy floors the accelerator and turns up the volume to distract him from the unfamiliar sounds of Max's laughter echoing in his car. 

............

Steve is shoved into another room by the time he maintains all of his faculties and his wrists are immediately bound by handcuffs that have been fastened too tightly around his skin. He glares venomously at the big brutish man who drops him unceremoniously into a metal chair, the chains round his cuffed hands clattering to the iron table in front of him. Jesus, he thinks; did they have to be so rough? He's already angry and confused, still trying to process the fact that he's been kidnapped; and he's even more pissed off by the unnecessary manhandling. What the hell was going on and more importantly, who the hell wanted him? 

Looking at the room around him, it appeared to be just like any other interrogation room in some backwater precinct, with the one-sided mirror and the solitary table and chairs in the middle. The walls are bone grey and the light bulb above him is bright, shedding a yellow glow over him. He wants to smash it. Not just to let out some anger but also because he knows that there must be people on the other side of the mirror looking at him. Observing him like some kind of wild animal. Smashing the bulb would leave him in darkness. He moves to commit the act but is suddenly smacked back into place. Hard. 

"Sit. Down." The brute growls nastily, ignoring the way Steve brings his shackled hand to touch his cheek that was now burning hot from the slap. He can feel it swelling and throbbing from the impact and he's sure the man's left a bruise or at least a handprint on his face. His ankles are shackled to the table to ensure that he doesn't attempt any more great escapes. He's still holding his heated face when a man in a white lab coat walks in. Two other brutes follow him in before they lock the door with a loud metal clang. Steve startles slightly but schools his face to appear unaffected. 

"Hello Steve. My name is doctor Helbig. You can call me Tom." The man says moving to sit opposite Steve, a thick brown file in his hands. He doesn't look old but he's not particularly young either. Steve guesses he's probably in his mid-thirties what with the salt and pepper hair and the wolverine-looking scruff on his face. His eyes are dark with flecks of amber like low burning coals and he wears a confident smile that gives nothing of his true intentions away. It secretly scares Steve. 

"What am I doing here?" He tries and can't help the nervous gulp that follows. The man's low chuckle at his question itches his skin in a worrying way. 

"Why don't you tell me about yourself first? Hm? Then we can get the pleasantries out of the way and finally get to the real fun." Helbig replies smoothly and Steve can immediately tell it's just a tactic to frustrate him. He fights the impatient feeling that's bubbling up his throat. 

"How about you tell me why I'm here?" He shoots back, his jaw ticking slightly. The Cheshire grin on Helbig's face is unnerving. 

"Okay. How about this? I answer your questions, you tell me about yourself. Does that negotiation seem satisfactory?" Helbig answers in that stupid calm manner like he knows all of Steve's moves before he even makes them. Hell of a strategy, that. But he bites anyway.

"Fine." He says, nodding slowly. "What I'd find satisfactory is if you let me out of whatever this place is since you -y'know, sorta kidnapped me and all; but, since that doesn't seem to be on the table, I'll accept your compromise." 

He fixes Helbig with a "don't fuck with me" glare.

"One question for an answer." 

Tom's smile grows impossibly wider after that; so much so that he has to look down into his file to regain his composure. He's silent for some time as he shuffles the papers in the file, carefully arranging them into two thin stacks. 

"Alright Steve. Ask away." He finally says, looking up at the brunette in front of him. 

"Where am I?" The boy demands without missing a beat, his face emotionless and his jaw set in a hard clench. 

Helbig chuckles in that knowing way again.   
"You're still in Hawkins boy. Haven't left Indiana. Yet." 

Steve's jaw ticks this time. "Yet? You ha-" He starts but Tom cuts him off quickly. 

"What's your full name?" 

Steve growls but concedes to the rules of their compromise. An answer for a question. 

"Steven Harrington. Am I in Hawkins labs?" 

"No. How old are you?" 

"Eighteen. Why am I here?" 

"Because you're very important to our work. What are your parent's names?" 

"John and Judy Harrington. Why me?" 

"Like I said, you're very important to our work. Who is Nancy Wheeler to you?" 

Steve froze, halting their little game of trivia that had been going smoothly so far. The mention of Nancy catches him off-guard and he doesn't know what to ask. He tears his angry glare away from Helbig's gleeful eyes, trying desperately to regroup. He can't seem to. 

"Sh... she's.... just a friend." He answers and feels a pipe wave of shame and embarrassment wash over him.

"Wh... what are you... what are you gonna do to me?" He chokes out.

Helbig is still looking at him with that sneering smirk as he answers. 

"Oh don't worry about that Steven. We're just gonna run a couple of tests; nothing to worry about. Is it true that your relationship with Nancy was one-sided and that she had more of an interest in Johnathan Byers than you?"

Shit. He loses the beat for a second before replying, "How is that relevant?" 

"Oh it's very pertinent to our case study on you, Steven. Now, answer the question." 

"Maybe it was for her." He finally admits and it sounds harsh even to his own ears. He lowers his glare, looking into his lap instead, the sudden lack of confidence in the brave face he put on jarring. It occurred to him then that maybe he was dealing with very, very dangerous people. And that he couldn't just play his way out of this with a cocky attitude. 

Tom was smiling, no- grinning, fucking ear to ear as he watched the volatile emotions spread across Harrington's pretty face. He knew the boy would be easy to crack, but geez; one mention of Nancy Wheeler and he was gone. Tom had faith in his strategy and followed it to the letter. The first step in breaking down a test subject psychologically was to get personal. Get into their psyche and tap into their most vulnerable emotions. Boss would be proud. 

"Y'know, the last time someone tried to create superbeings out of Hawkins' finest, a Gate opened up and let out faceless monsters into our world. You really think experimenting on me is gonna go well for you?" Steve suddenly says and there's a sharp and threatening edge to his voice when he says it. He knows he has the upper-hand when Helbig's face drops slightly. It was his turn to grin but the smile doesn't meet his eyes as he remembers what those scientists had done to Jane. 

"H- What do you know about that? About those experiments?" Helbig replies not so smoothly. Steve counts it as a small victory. 

Tom's mind is reeling and he suddenly has doubts about Harrington who is sitting across from him with a smug look on his face. He'd been a part of that operation and had stayed loyal to Brenner and his team even after the labs had been shut down by the Chief. He knew a few of the people who'd had a hand in that like Joyce Byers, Mike Wheeler and his friends, Nancy and Johnathan and Eleven herself. But Harrington's name had never been on the documents. There was no 'Steve Harrington' on the papers that stipulated the radio silence about what really happened with the labs and the Demogorgons and the Holland girl. 

"I know enough." Steve replies and it shakes Helbig out of his thoughts. He immediately attempts to regain psychological control of the interrogation. 

"Well then you should know what happens to you now." 

Steve pales slightly and Tom doesn't miss it for a second. He's got the upper-hand again. Steve shakes his head, shrugging, feigning nonchalance. But Helbig knows he's damn scared. 

"Electro-shock therapy and a sensory deprivation tank?" The boy snarks, a casual sarcasm controlling his tone. 

Tom chuckles kind of amused at Harrington's resilience but also miffed by it. This was the attitude he'd expected out of Billy Hargrove.

Then a light bulb goes off in his head. 

"Back to our little trivia; who is Billy Hargrove to you?" The completely blindsided look on Steve's face is enough to let Tom know he's in full control again. 

..............

"Thanks Billy and stop being a dick. See you at school Max!"

Billy pointedly ignores Dustin's goodbye and doesn't attempt to dignify it with a reply. He just waves off the kid and screeches back on to the road. The silence in his car is a welcome one though he's a bit shocked to admit that he kinda misses the childish banter and the happy atmosphere those brats had brought with them. Max is quiet again and it makes him feel some type of way- like the realization that Max only frowns hard like that when she's with him. He sighs.

"Look I'm sorry." 

He doesn't miss the way Max's head sharply turns from the window to stare at him expectantly. He refuses to look her in the eye. 

"I- ...I didn't mean to be a dick to your friends."

She sighs and he hates how tired it sounds... like she's tired of dealing with his shit behaviour and mannerisms. He doesn't blame her; he's pretty sick of himself too. 

"I know you didn't. I could tell you were already upset when we got in the car." 

He frowns. "I wasn't.... not really." 

She shrugs. "You've been upset since you got out from the hospital. I don't know why and I wish you could tell me."

"Why?" 

"So I can help you Billy. Geez, that's what family does. Unless... you still want to think of me as a total stranger...then-" 

"No Max. Jesus, no. I know I act like it sometimes but I told you that I would try to be a better person. I meant that when I told you I'd try in that damn hospital. I swear."

Billy suddenly really hates himself for letting Max down. And letting Steve down. And scaring the brats shitless. He knows he can be overwhelming when he gets upset like this and the people around him usually end up getting hurt because of it. Especially Max. But she can't know why he's upset because that would just blow his whole cover. He fucked Steve Harrington; babysitter of the year. He didn't know how well Max would take that. 

"I know you want to help me. But I promise you I'm fine. I was just pissy for no reason. Don't worry about it." 

Max looks like she had some reservations but she grudgingly cast them aside and nods instead. They sit in silence for a moment as Billy's pulling up to their house before his curiosity gets the better of him. 

"Hey, how is Steve?" 

The brow that shoots up into her hairline makes him feel stupid. He almost laughs. 

"I don't know. He's been radio silent since Tuesday. Dustin's really worried even if he doesn't show it." She answers honestly, shrugging in despair. Billy notes the way her shoulders sag in sadness. 

"So he hasn't talked to either one of you? At all?" 

"No Billy. I told you, he didn't even show to pick us up like he usually does. He must be really sick. Laid up in bed or something." 

"And you guys are going there Friday to check on him?" 

Max holds up a hand. 

"Wait, why are you so concerned with Steve all of a sudden?"

"What-" Billy tries.

"And that's another thing; since when have you started calling him Steve?" 

"Max-" 

"You must've gotten close to him at the hospital huh?" 

"Okay hold up, no. Stop that's- ...that's not what happened." He juggles with his words and it immediately makes him sound guilty. He can feel the tips of his ears redden with the oncoming blush. He shoves open his car door to hide it. 

"I didn't say anything." Max says casually, getting out of the car as well, gauging the look on Billy's face. He's cherry red and thank God she only chalks it up to nothing more than him and Steve becoming friends. 

.............

Jim Hopper was just about to close his eyes and drift away into sleep but the scream from Jane's room has him bright eyed in an instant. He rushes to her room and finds her curled up on the floor next to her bed, tears running down her face. She's shivering when he goes to sit next to her and he gently pulls her into a hug. 

"Hey, what's wrong?" 

She's shaking uncontrollably in his arms and he feels his heart clench. 

"Jane, what happened? Did you have a nightmare?" He murmurs soothingly, stroking her curly hair. 

She shakes her head hard and brings her face up to stare at him, the tears failing to mask the terrified look in her eyes. Her whisper is faint but it sparks a cold dread through the Chief's body. 

"Bad."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Like I always say: More to come! :D xoxo, Sam_Haine


	11. What's the Matter With You Lately?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Something big is coming. And it's bigger than the Mind Flayer. Billy is warped into the conflict and Steve keeps holding on to hope. But he can only take so much.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The title is from Milo Greene's 'What's the Matter'. God, it's such a good song! Anyway, here's chappie 11. LOL or should I say, Chapter Jane? xD Enoy!

What's the Matter With You Lately?

 

"Steve!" 

Dustin could hear his own voice echoing in the brisk morning silence and it unnerved him. 

"Steve?"

There was no answer at the door and not even a rustle of movement from the inside. He frowned miserably.

 

"Steve! Come on asshole!" 

"He's probably sleeping." Max suggests, resting an empathetic hand on the boy's shoulder. She tries not to feel hurt as he just shrugs it off. 

"No. He's not." Lucas informs as he jogs with Will to meet back up at the Harrington's front door. They'd both went to check the back while Dustin, Mike and Max rang the front. So far... nothing. 

"How do you know?" Mike asks, squinting in the sunlight that's hitting them right in the face. 

"Because his car isn't there." Will responds wincing a little as Dustin's face crumples in disappointment. 

"Sorry Dustin." 

The boy shakes his curly mop of head though, intent on finding his friend Steve. 

"No. We're not giving up on him! We have to keep looking." 

"Of course we will Dustin." Lucas reassures him, pulling out his army bandana. 

"We can start right now." He suggests, tying the bandana around his forehead, Rambo style. Dustin instantly brightens up at that and nods eagerly. Mike is shaking his head in the back.

"Guys, we can't just ditch school! Have you forgotten- it's still Friday!" He yells in a panic. Will is nodding imperceptibly next to him. 

"So what do you expect us to do Mike?" Dustin' s voice is heightened and challenging. 

"We can't just sit in class all day while Steve's out there by himself! What if he's in serious trouble? Like..." Dustin can't bring himself to say it so he stops. But the rest of them already get the implication. 

The air is ten degrees colder.

"No... no way, I thought El closed the Gate." Will says with a shiver. 

"Yeah Dustin, think about what you're saying. Eleven shut the Gate and sealed it up. There's no way a demogorgon or a demodog took Steve." Max explains but Dustin is shaking his head. He's clearly lost deep in thought and not actually listening to them. 

"How can you be so sure?!" He yells, fixing them all with a harsh glare. 

Lucas sighs. "Because they wouldn't have taken his car too. The demogorgons and the demodogs only eat and kill people and animals. One drop of blood and you're toast. Remember that? They don't exactly care about red, luxury BMWs." 

Dustin sighed in defeat. He tries one last time. 

"Then, could it have been the lab?" 

He's met with four curious faces that wait for him to explain. 

"Steve wouldn't have just disappeared without saying something. I mean, he would've at least told me where he was going. And besides, he never even mentioned anything about leaving town. What I'm saying is; what if the Staties never really got rid of the lab? What if they kept it for more experiments? Or what if they had another lab?"

"That doesn't make sense Dustin. The Staties locked up and left after that leaked recording from Bauman." Lucas replies, knocking on Steve's door one more time. 

"That's not entirely true." Dustin mutters, a guilty look in his face. 

"What?" The rest of them exclaim in unison. 

Dustin sighs. "Look, I didn't say anything because I thought it was nothing; but the last time we went to the hospital to visit asshole Billy," (that earns a defensive 'hey!' from Max), "I saw two of them talking to some doctor in the hallway." 

"Two of who?" Mike frowns absently.

"The Staties idiot!" Dustin yells shaking his head. 

"Okay so that's our theory? The Staties never actually left Hawkins and they took Steve?" Max deadpans, looking more confused than anything. 

"I never said it was the only theory! There's still demogorgon and demodog-" Dustin starts and is cut off by Mike who sarcastically adds, "And don't forget actual serial killers. They still exist." 

"So what do we do?" Lucas asks, ever the practical one, ready to take action much like his father who's been in the military. 

Dustin takes a deep breath and stares at them all resolutely. 

"We keep looking." 

.............

"Who is Billy Hargrove to you?" 

"I ...-" 

"What exactly does he mean to you Steve?"

"He doesn't-" 

"Because I believe you two were arch rivals ever since he stepped foot in Hawkins... but after that show you put on in his car..." 

The taunt was heavily suggestive and Steve had paled at the revelation that someone had seen what he and Billy had done. Helbig revealed that he'd been spying on both him and Hargrove for a while now and the night they'd had sex was included. God, he felt like such an idiot. But it also made him angry- terrifyingly incensed, and it wasn't long before he was lunging across the table at Helbig who still maintained that creepy Cheshire smile on his face. He didn't care that the handcuffs and the chains around his ankles were biting painfully into his skin, or that two of the brutes were grabbing him by the neck and forcing him back into the chair. All he saw was red and he let the anger take him over. It sure as hell was better than sitting there and listening to Helbig's evasive answers. He'd gotten nothing out of the goddamn man and was growing impatient. Fast. Helbig on the other hand, was still cool and collected with a smile plastered across his lips. Steve wanted to rip his throat out.

"I'll kill you myself!" He'd snarled at Helbig as the man beckoned to the brutes that he was "done for the day". They wasted no time in grabbing him up like a ragdoll and tossing his sorry ass back into that dark and unforgiving room, locking the door with a hard slam. 

He'd been there ever since that time and now as the grating interrogation plays on a loop in his mind, Steve can't remember the last time he ate. His stomach grumbles in the isolated room and the sound echoes like the bass of a marching band's drum. Thunderous and harsh. The room, according to Helbig, was ideally suited for "test subjects" like Steve. He'd promptly explained the room's functions to him through a metal cat-flap in the door all the while Steve felt like a prisoner. 

"The room is 6x9 feet, much like your average prison cell. But it's interior design is built to block out all sense of sight, smell and touch. This will force your body to independently rely on your remaining senses of taste and hearing. Taste obviously won't be useful for anything but your sense of hearing, now that; that will be amplified ten-fold so every noise, every sound you hear will be grating to your readjusted ears." 

Steve had just remained lying on the cold hard floor where his arms and legs had been strapped down by iron shackles that were bolted down to the concrete by thick iron chains. He forced himself to listen to Helbig's words, trying to find a loophole in them so that he'd find some way to escape. But nothing the man said was useful- just damning. 

"It's the terrestrial equivalent to a sensory deprivation tank and it's meant to make your body readjust itself. So habits, physical behaviours and mental capacities- all of it, will be ripped from your body the longer you stay in this room. Call it, an out-of-body experience; like being born again. You'll soon start to exhibit a variety of physiological and psychological reactions like the hypersensitivity to stimuli we just discussed with regards to your senses. Perceptual distortions as well as hallucinations are also side effects of this room." 

Steve swallows hard as a cold sweat breaks out all over his skin.

"Other subjects have shown increased anxiety and nervousness along with irrational anger, severe and chronic depression, loss of appetite and severe loss of weight. Oh, extreme heart palpitations are probably the most common of these effects." 

Steve hears himself whimper and he's not sure if he wants to throw up or just pass out. He's in purgatory momentarily as Helbig continues his unnerving infomercial. So far, the room sounded like a horror house. 

"You'll also experience withdrawals, blunting of apathy, delirium which leads to a lot of conversations with yourself, nightmares, dizziness and a sharp decline in EEG or brain activity within seven days of solitary confinement. If it wasn't obvious Mr Harrington, this all means that you're going to have a lot of sleepless nights. Trust me Steven; it's a truly religious experience." 

Helbig's tone became reverent as he uttered those last few words and it sent unwarranted shivers down Steve's spine. Because the man sounded almost high just talking about all the things that was going to happen to Steve's body... almost like he took pleasure in reprogramming people. Much like a serial killer explaining how he carried out his tortures. He imagined the big sadistic smile on Helbig's face. And for the first time, Steve actually felt a sharp cold dread seep into his bones at the thought of how far a man like Tom Helbig was willing to go for science; or maybe it was to satisfy his own sadistic fantasies. He didn't know which. His scared whimper echoed in the room around him. 

.................

Billy sighed tiredly as the nerdy brats filed into his car once again like they were fucking invited. He does his best to school his features into a more tolerant one as Max catches his eyes pleadingly. He simply nods at the four boys before pulling off from Hawkins Middle school. 

 

It's only when they're about a quarter of the way into the drive home that Billy realizes that Max and her friends are suspiciously quiet and much more subdued than they usually are. He chances quick glimpses at them in his rear-view mirror and can immediately tell that they're avoiding his eyes. Dustin is occupied by the scenery that's whisking past them in the window while Lucas is fiddling with his army bandana, his head down like he's sad or something. Both Mike and Will are talking quietly by themselves while casting worried glances at Dustin. 

Billy bites. 

"Okay, what the hell is going on with you dweebs?" He demands nonchalantly, trying to make his voice sound as uninterested as possible. 

"Nothing." Max quickly says and he can tell she's lying by the way she glances back at Sinclair. 

Billy huffs, annoyed. 

"Yeah and my ass doesn't look good in these jeans. I know you're lying. Spit it out." 

Dustin makes a face at his comment but doesn't make any caustic comeback. Whether Billy admits it or not, that's cause for concern. 

"It's nothing Billy." The kid just mumbles and it makes Billy frown. He's thinking, what would Steve do? Harrington was a softie no matter how much he tried to act tough. Maybe he'd try to coax the brats into telling him what was really turning their frowns upside down. Billy blanched at the thought. No way in hell was he going to go all 'Stevemom' on Max and her friends!

"Okay what is it? What- girl problems or something? Somebody mess with your science experiments?" He tries; cheeks burning at how caring he sounds. It's making his skin crawl. 

He earns an ungrateful snort of amusement from Max and Dustin is looking up at him like he just grew an extra head. He rolls his eyes.

"You okay?" Max asks in a high pitched voice, with a raised brow. 

Billy shakes his head, waving her off like he's changed his mind about acting nicer to people. Like he regrets asking them anything. 

"Nevermind." He mutters, focusing his attention back on the road. 

Max is about to say something when three police cars zoom past them in a flurry of bright red and blue headed in the opposite direction. Billy frowns hard, eyes following the scene in the rear-view. He notices one of the vehicles as Chief Hopper's; must be something serious. The sirens wail mournfully and loud in his ear as they speed off into the distance. When he focuses back to reality realizes that Dustin is yelling at him to follow them. 

"Hurry up asshole! Follow them! Billy-!" 

"What? Why?!" He exclaims as all the kids start going batshit crazy, shouting at him to turn around. He does it anyway, flooring the accelerator, trying hard to catch up to the police, like a wrongside wild goose chase. 

"Hurry Billy!" Max squeaks, her face screwed up like she's terrified or something. 

"Would somebody just fucking tell me what the hell's going on?!" He argues frustratedly. 

"Steve-" Dustin starts but he's cut off by Mike. 

"No! Dustin!"

"We should tell him!" Dustin yells.

"No! We can't!" Mike shoots back, looking exasperated as he swivels his frown to Will, Lucas and Max for help. 

"M...maybe we should tell him." Lucas adds, uncertainty clear in his voice. 

"I... think we should." Will comments meekly. 

Max grunts her own uncertainty, not finding the right words to express herself. 

"No guys! Come on! We-" 

Mike is forced to clench his mouth shut as the Camaro skids to an abrupt halt, Billy reaching his hand out to keep Max from smacking her goddamn head into the windshield. She squeaks with the impact and the kids in the back all look fucking scared. As they should be. 

Billy's voice is low but steely as he quietly demands, "Tell me what?" 

The silence that follows is extremely uncomfortable and it itches irritably like a fucking bug under his skin. He can hear the police sirens growing softer as they hurry further and further away into the distance. 

"I'm not fucking around dipshits! Tell me what?!" He scathes at them, much like the Billy of old and damn it feels good to fucking scream at someone again. Only, it's a bunch of fucking retards and they're looking at him like he's a monster now. He exhales resolutely as if he's about to murder them all if they don't start talking and he thinks that he very well might. 

"Steve." Is all Dustin says and Billy feels his stomach drop all the way to his feet. He flinches. 

Hard.

"What about Steve?" He demands through gritted teeth and a hard clenched jaw. 

The unsure silence after that makes him see red.

"Fucking talk or I'll make you, kid and I promise you, it won't be pretty." 

Max knows well enough to keep her mouth shut as Billy rounds on them, his blue eyes cold, steely and unforgiving. 

................

"Wake up!" 

Steve grunts out weakly as he's drenched in a splash of fucking ice-cold water. His body jolts with the impact and his limbs involuntarily tug against the cruel metal bindings. 

"What the fuck!" He shouts, grimacing as the concrete floor grows uncomfortably cold and wet under him. It soaks into his jeans and his shirt making him squeamish. He's filthy and his hair feels like a dead thing on top of his head. His stomach turns again, grumbling like foam inside him. He hasn't eaten in days and it shows as one of the brutes lifts him over his shoulder effortlessly after they unchain him. He feels lightheaded from the drastic change in altitude. 

He's out for a couple minutes until they reach some type of bathroom that's the size of half a goddamn football field, with tiled shower stalls lining the walls probably in the dozens. He hisses in pain and startles awake as the man drops him unceremoniously into one of the stalls, the hard white tile colliding with his cheek painfully. 

"Time for a shower." The brute sneers at him, as another one comes around him and begins to yank Steve's clothes off. 

"You're filthy." 

"No- stop!" Steve gasps as the man drags his jeans off, the other one ripping his shirt over his head. It's humiliating and degrading and Steve can feel the tears spring to his eyes as he's left cold and bare naked in front of the two men. He curls up on the floor trying desperately to cover himself up and retain whatever shred of dignity he had left. Chills erupt along his back from the cold and he sobs out loud as rough hands pull him back to his feet. 

"Come on kid, hands against the wall, feet apart." One of the brute orders, shoving him hard. He whimpers but complies grudgingly, biting his lips hard to stop himself from sobbing again. He won't give them the satisfaction of hearing him break down, so he just lets the tears fall quietly. He doesn't know what to expect and not being able to see what they're doing makes him cagey, anxious. Then something like a hose opens and suddenly his skin stings with ice cold water. A fucking pressure hose? What was he? 

He gasps, his body jerking hard under the sharp needling of the water. His hands come up off the wall then, but his pitiful scrabbling to get away is stopped by a large hand gripping the back of his neck. It slams him back into the wall and he gasps, shuddering hard. His hair is drenched and water gets into his eyes as they force him to turn around. It feels like drowning after taking a pummelling from a waterfall. Only, waterfalls were supposed to be enjoyable. This was humiliating. Torturous. 

They dump some kind of odorless liquid soap over him and he has to shut his eyes before it gets in. It lathers up but not excessively and Steve can feel the chafing marks on his wrists and ankles made by the bindings burn cruelly. His pained grunts and whimpers are lost to the loud spraying of the water and he's grateful. He doesn't want them to see just how affected he really is; how frightful he really is for himself and how it's all making his heart hammer wildly in his chest like a caged bird. And how his eyes are stinging but not because of the water or the soap. 

He's shaking hard when the water finally shuts off, leaving him feeling empty and exposed; whimpering like a dog that's been kicked and he doesn't mean for them to hear it but he can't help it. Everything hurts, from his head to his eyes to his stomach, his legs. He's tired and so far the day's been way too overwhelming for him to feel anything else. The white towel that's thrown over him is thin and impractical; it's scratchy and rough on his skin and he shouldn't find comfort in it... but he does. It's warm and it gives him back some form of decency and privacy that he'd been stripped of. Literally. 

They dress him in a hospital gown and leave his hair dripping wet. He's curious about what's going to happen to him now and he doesn't have to wait long to find out. The mindless, mouth-breathing brutes take him to another clinical-looking room where he's forced down into a chair. 

"Brisbane! Got another one for you." One of the men says gleefully, his reprimanding hand digging hard into Steve's shoulder, keeping him there. He gets a weird feeling in his gut that makes him swallow nervously as a smiling man walks into the room. Brisbane, he assumes. He has black hair that's pulled into a severe ponytail and a creepy ass smile on his long, thin face. He looks like a he-witch. 

"Ah, it seems like you do! Brady, Gordon." 

Brisbane's voice is low-timbered and melancholic sounding, like he was more fit for 'Phantom of the Opera' or something. It instantly sets Steve on edge. Gordon, the one with his hand on Steve's shoulder yanks him up and shoves him towards Brisbane. 

"This is Steve Harrington." He introduces as Brisbane catches Steve and steers him into the room he'd come out of. 

Brisbane gasps. "Not John's boy is he?" 

Steve flinches at the sound of his father's name. The man probably didn't even know he'd been kidnapped, he thought sadly. Brady, Gordon and Brisbane continue their conversation as if he's not even there. 

"Yep. Boss asked for him specifically. Has a lot of plans for him." Gordon replies, a sneering tone in his voice. 

Brisbane makes an impressed noise as he finally leads Steve over to a black chair that has a height adjustment lever on it. Steve frowns, his eyes widening as he takes in the mirrors and the tables in the room. He makes out a lot of sharp objects; razors, knives, scissors.... And then his heart drops when he sees the black shaving kit lying amongst them. 

"No..." He mumbles feeling sick to his stomach. He can't breathe. His body is taut against the chair as he pushes off of it and shoves into Brisbane. The man grunts as they collide and he falls, making way for Steve to dash out. The loud shouts from behind him aren't far and he doesn't get far before Gordon is locking thick, muscled biceps around his neck. 

"I got him!" Gordon growls, even as Steve is slithering out of his grasp again like an otter. 

Brady steps in front of the spooked boy, blocking him before he smacks his hard across the face. The blow stuns him and he's dragged back to that fucking chair. This time he kicks and screams. 

"Let me go! No! N- please!" 

He receives another swift backhand for his troubles. 

"Shut the hell up kid!" Brady growls at him and he's stunned into silence by the feel of blood running down his lips. His tongue stings where his teeth had cut into it and now his entire mouth is filled with blood. It shouldn't be a shock to him; he's taken a much worse beating from Billy. But something about the fact that, that was just some pissing contest between him and Hargrove; just some school rivalry that had gone too far. That was different. 

These men in comparison were like mercenaries; henchmen hired to inflict pain and incite fear in their captives. It was in their job description to hurt him. To make him sorry he'd even tried to fight back. And something about that terrified him. So he sat there, fucking catatonic with silent tears spilling down his face like a river while Brisbane got to work. 

"Just grade him down a little. Make him neat." Gordon orders, staying within Steve's periphery, making his presence known should the boy try another great escape. 

"Copy that." Brisbane replies as he runs a comb through the boy's luscious brunette locks. He can see the kid's face in the mirror and even though he's intently looking down, Brisbane can still see how that pretty face scrunches up tearfully as the sound of the sharp scissors cuts the first strands. Steve's shoulders start shaking uncontrollably and Brisbane inhales deeply. 

He's cut dozens of test subjects' hair before; girls, boys, men and women. And sure, they'd all cried when he'd shaved them bald, or had been ordered to buzz close to the scalp. The girls had burst into tears as he'd snipped off inches and inches of long, flowing hair. But Brisbane had never seen anyone- until Steven Harrington, who was ‘this’ attached to his brunette locks. The kid was sobbing silently, his chest heaving as if every piece he cut off had physically hurt him. And that kind of reaction was addicting. It was this kind of power that men like Brisbane and Tom and even the Boss got off on. Physically hurting the kid was satisfying as well, but it didn't bring him pleasure like it did for Brady and Gordon. No, seeing the beautiful boy break down, piece by piece was his drug. 

He reached his hand down and grabbed Steve by the jaw, forcing him to look at his sad face in the mirror. 

"Mmh!" 

That was Steve trying to pull his face way from his own reflection. Brisbane smiled nastily. 

"Look at you. Look!" He growled into the boy's ear. 

Steve looked and willed himself to look at his face alone. He didn't want to see the mess Brisbane was making out of his hair. The tears caused his vision to blur slightly and he found himself immensely grateful for it. 

"All those pretty tears falling from those hazel eyes." Brisbane's voice was anything but empathetic. 

"Please.... ngh..... don't-" Steve heard himself sobbing. He felt low. And stupid for doing it. 

"Don't worry sweetheart. You'll still be pretty after I'm done with you." 

Steve sobbed openly then, a loud and gross sound to his own ears as his nails dug into his thighs where he'd been told to keep them. He knew it seemed stupid and pointless to cry over some stupid hair. But Steve's hair meant something to him. Whatever that was, he wasn't sure. But he knew it held sentimental value because from the moment he'd heard the first metal snip and had seen the severed brunette lock fall into his lap, he'd broken down sobbing. The feeling was akin to that of the treatment of the Jews in German concentration camps who'd been stripped of their human dignities and had been forced to give up their own personalities to become mindless exploits for mad scientists and cruel supremacists. Men, women and children stripped bare and their hair cut short; for no other purpose than to simply humiliate them. 

That's exactly how Steve felt in that moment. Utterly stripped of himself and his reality. Forced to live someone else's sick fantasies. He didn't even realize that Brisbane was done with him until he was pulled out of the chair and shoved to the ground, on his knees in the pile of wet hair. 

"Take a look at it, boy." Gordon chuckled though it sounded more like a low growl in his throat. 

He forced himself to shut his mouth, biting his lips hard to keep from whimpering. He wouldn't break.... couldn't.... 

A hand grabbed him by the hair and pulled him back on his feet and he could feel the rough tug on the considerably short strands. He slammed his eyes shut, feeling sick. 

"Come on, let's go. Helbig's waiting for you." 

................

Billy sat there in his car, his mind reeling as his hands clenched and unclenched on the steering. He wasn't sure if the story the brats had just told him was even true. But he knew one thing for sure; Steve was missing. Dustin had been very clear about that. And he couldn't seem to keep his mind from thinking about Steve.

"And you think these State guys took him?" He mumbles feeling a deep dread settle coldly in his stomach. He doesn't dare show his true feelings for it would give too much away. But God alone knew he wanted to curl up in a ball and cry his eyes out until they found Steve. 

"It's our best bet." Lucas answers carefully. They're all observing him with suspicious and cautious eyes. He doesn't seem too surprised about the fact that there were monsters in Hawkins or the fact that there was a whole other dimension that birthed the frigging things. He just seemed to take everything with a grain of salt and then some. 

"B..Billy?" Max asks gingerly, touching his shoulder. He quickly looks up at her and frowns hard. He looks as if he's about to say something but instead, he just starts back the car and drives. Harrington is the only thing on his mind at the moment. He hadn't seen the boy since that early Wednesday morning when they'd... fought or whatever. It's a sickening thought that Steve might've been taken some time after he left Billy and it makes his head spin. 

Fuck. 

Max glances back at the rest of the group as if to ask for help but all she receives are confused and uncertain expressions. She rolls her eyes and turns to face ahead. God, she was hoping against hope that the police frenzy wasn't related to Steve; but something in her told her it was. And that made her even more scared. 

When they get there, Billy curses under his breath as he sees Harrington's fucking castle. Cop cars are all over his damn front yard and they've already gotten into the house, searching for God knows what. He feels his heart drop. Doesn't even see Hopper approaching until the Chief is right in front of him. 

"What the hell are you doing here?" The man demands and Billy flinches hard before taking a defensive step back. Jim doesn't miss it but he doesn't let up either, fixing the kids with a serious look. 

"We know Steve's missing." Dustin blurts out. 

"What?" 

Hopper frowns before sneaking a quick glance behind him at his deputy and the other officers. He rounds on them quickly and hands Dustin a bunch of keys. 

"Look, something's going on here. I don't know what yet but if someone's watching, they can't see you poking around. Take this and go to the cabin, Jane'll open the door for you but the key is just reassurance. Wait for me there."

Dustin and the kids nod promptly but Billy's the only one who seems unsure.

"What happened? Where's Steve? Do you know where he is?" He asks desperately. Something big was going down for sure. And he was worried for Steve. 

The Chief shoots him a weird frown before shaking his head in denial. 

"No. No one knows where he is. But we're going to send out search parties and I've already put out an APB on his car. Look I don’t know how you got into all this mess but ... just go to the cabin, the kids will let you know everything."

Billy huffs unsatisfied but he complies anyway as Hopper walks over to an approaching officer. Back in his car, he feels Max give him a weird look but he ignores it in favour of taking Lucas's directions to the cabin in the woods. 

..............

"Ah, I see you've met Brisbane." Helbig comments as Steve is brought to sit across him from that table again. The icy look he receives from the boy doesn't faze him because he can see Harrington's insecurities under the brave mask he slips on over his face. He's a master manipulator after all and can tell when someone's not being honest with him. Steve's been trying to be brave ever since he arrived. It was sad. 

Steve breaks the stare-down and instantly regrets it as he brings himself face to face with his own reflection in the one-sided mirror behind Helbig. His face is pale- paler than usual and his dark eyes look bloodshot. There are dark bruises under his eyes and his face looks slightly swollen and red courtesy of dumb and dumber he thinks. His lips are cut in several places and look a bit red and chapped. He looks like hell and he feels more like it when he sees his hair. A soft, low whine erupts in his throat and he swallows brokenly. 

His long brunette strands are gone- none fall into his eyes just the way he likes it and he doesn't feel any at his shoulders. The nape of his neck feels all exposed and cold and he hates it. He fucking hates it. His eyes are wet again but he refuses to let the tears fall. Helbig's low chuckle tears him away from his sad reflection. He glares poisonously at the man. 

"Don't worry Steven. You still look endearing, nothing's changed much." The man says.

Steve's jaw clenches. He says nothing.

"Okay let's get on with this shall we?"

Still no answer. Tom ignores it and goes on, shuffling his papers slowly. 

"This session is the last one you'll endure for a while because after this, we'll start running the tests." Tom gauges Harrington's reaction as he informs him but sees nothing in those dark eyes. 

"The time will be used to get you caught up on the objectives of the experiments. So, I'd listen carefully if I were you." 

Radio silence.

"We're calling it 'Deus ex Machina'." 

Steve scoffs, unimpressed. "God from the machine? Really?" 

Helbig raises an impressed brow.

Steve sneers. "What? I paid attention in Literature. Sometimes." 

Helbig grins, clearly pleased. 

"Yes well, man has always romanticized the idea of becoming God, or at least God-like. For millions and millions of years he's tried to improve himself through innovations and technology. Science. What we've been working on is a serum that can help man reach the pinnacle of God-like powers."

 

Steve frowns, looking at Tom like he's straight-up delusional. 

"You're actually serious." He states; it's not a question. 

Helbig nods seriously, sliding a file over the table. Steve peers down at it. It's a paper oversimplifying the make-up of the serum. He shakes his head. 

"Sounds like a bunch of gibberish to me." 

Helbig chuckles."I don't expect you to understand the chemistry behind the ser-" 

"No. Not the serum. Your idea- to make man like God, it's gibberish. It's dumb." Steve cuts off, his voice monotone. 

Helbig's face falls exponentially it's the first time Steve's gotten a rise out of him. 

"The serum has worked on several test subjects with varying levels of success." He states indignantly.

Steve snorts derisively. He knows he's getting under Helbig's skin. 

"You're not listening. I don't care if your serum works or not. The mere thought of making mutated human beings is crazy. You can't turn us into the freaking 'X-Men'."

Helbig's smug grin is back and he places the paper back into his file. 

"That's where you're wrong. We've had a test subject before who was psychokinetic. She could move stuff with her mind, break open doorways to other worlds and locate people who were on a different continent."

Steve pauses and his mind immediately goes to Jane. Eleven. 

"She had those abilities long before you and your sick band of scientists experimented on her."

Helbig's smile is a gleeful one. "So you know her."

"I know about her." Steve shoots back quickly, his glare level. "You just intensified her natural abilities. That's not innovation. And you're out of luck with me because I don't have anything like that to offer." 

"I know that." Helbig answers smoothly. 

"So then why'd you take me?" 

"Because, like I said, the serum works. It alters the human body and makes it impenetrable to most damages. The last test subject- Jake- was just like you. He was from a small town, called Jericho- much like Hawkins. And he was about the same physiological make-up too. And the serum worked perfectly in him." 

"What happened to him?" 

"He died." 

Steve freezes. "But you said-"

"I said it's almost perfect. There are still elements which are highly effective against the serum."

"Like?" 

"Arsenic for one. Stab wounds are still a mediocre situation because only 46% of the organs are protected by the serum. Oh and being eaten alive by a demogorgon of course." 

Helbig's passive tone sets Steve on edge. He's nervous again and he's sure that was the man's intentions in the first place. 

Well, mission accomplished. 

Steve thinks of the Jake kid that night, all alone in that room of horrors; tears in his eyes because he feels the cold concrete on the back of his neck.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry in advance for what I did in this Chapter :'(. More to come! Sam_Haine


	12. Awake and Alive

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hopper, Billy and the kids are't the only ones who knows that Steve is missing. Steve's resolve is only as strong as the next kid's he supposes. He can't think of a more painful torture than being awake on an operating table.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another chappie for you! Happy New Year guys! 2018 is gonna be a year of changes and improvements! Hopefully. Anyway, hope you guys had a bomb last night, I know I did. Enjoy. Sam_Haine

Awake and Alive

The tiny girl in the jean jumper and the short curls kept her intense stare on him and never broke it once. She kept staring at him as if she were seeing something that he couldn't. Like she was getting a severely detailed picture of who he really was. And it made him uncomfortable as fuck. 

"Could you quit doing that?" He growls, fixing her with a harsh glare.

"Hey, easy Billy! She doesn't mean anything by it." Mike defends, scowling at him like he's annoyed or something. 

Billy snorts obnoxiously before shooting up from the couch to pace the living room area restlessly. He can't stop thinking about Harrington. And he can't get the idea of a demogorgon out of his goddamn head. Monsters were real, he supposed. He'd always known that though; but his monsters always manifested in the form of Neil... And sometimes himself. Those were the demons he'd been forced to deal with on a daily. 

Hawkins however, seemed to house the ones they only talked about in movies. The slimy, scaly beasts with hundreds of rows of jagged teeth meant to rip skin from bone. Made to eat people alive. His skin chills at the mental picture Dustin and Lucas had painted for him; strong, reptilian body, long fucking talon-like claws, and a four-leaved face with teeth on every petal. The roar wasn't animalistic, Mike had told him. It was more like Godzilla or some similar mythical beast. Max told him when its face opened up, it was like looking into the face of death. A bit dramatic for his tastes but he took it anyway. 

And then the little Byers boy told him about the Mind Flayer. And Billy was certain he'd never seen someone look so haunted. So deathly frightful. And that's when he believed the stories. That's when his reservations came crashing the fuck down and he subscribed to the idea of a much greater evil than Neil Hargrove. The Mind Flayer was a majestic fucking beast that was made out of elusive grey and black smoke, with a mind that could control even the strongest of men. Think H.P Lovecraft's 'Cthulhu' Dustin had told him. 

Too fucking bad Billy was a fan of Lovecraft, because the images that flashed in his mind made his heart drop for a minute. 

"Do you know where Steve is?" He asks the girl; Elev- no, Jane. The kids had told him everything about the monsters and the labs and even Barbara Holland- the girl who'd died in Harrington's pool- but no one had even attempted to explain Jane to him. All he knew was that she had psychokinetic abilities. He figured she had some deep dark secrets of her own from the odd stares she'd tossed his way so he didn't press for answers. Still, it didn't mean he wasn't at all curious as to why the Chief of Hawkins Police had a psychokinetic, unregistered child hiding out in his cabin. Seemed pretty shady to Billy. What was it with Hawkins and harbouring underage kids in weird houses? 

He deflates when she shakes her head. "No. Black. Too dark." Is all she offers in a soft voice that sounds like it's screamed too much. 

"Does that mean...?" Max asks quietly but trails off at the "he's dead" part. 

Billy flinches. 

"No. Steve's awesome, he's just probably out of range or something." Lucas tells her.

His heart crumples a bit at the thought of never seeing the brunette again. He wants to scream and shout and cry- do fucking something other than sitting in this goddamn dusty cabin waiting for the Chief! His pacing intensifies and it sets all the kids on edge. Max and Lucas are talking quietly on the couch, while Mike and Jane sit together saying nothing. Will is close by but he isolates himself to give them their space. He doesn't see Dustin and his brain instantly goes on full alert. 

"Where's Dustin?" He chokes out anxiously. 

The kids all look at him with faces made of melancholy and it irks him. 

"He's in the kitchen." Lucas says quietly, knowingly. 

Billy sighs before going to check on him. 

He finds the kid making some kind of sandwich, with slices of bread and other sandwich material. But the way he's assembling the goddamn thing is just pitiful. He's the acute image of abject sadness and hopelessness. Billy finds himself identifying with those feelings and it's surprisingly not something he cringes at. He walks over to the kitchen table and looks down, grabbing up one of the bologna slices and shoving it in his mouth. 

"Hey- asshole! That was for my sandwich!" The kid cries, clearly upset but Billy knew it wasn't about the stolen bologna slice. 

Billy shrugs. "You've got more." 

Dustin fixes him with a withering glare and goes back to his work, studiously ignoring Billy. The Cali boy sighs.

"Look man, I'm the last person you'd expect to have a heart-to-heart with. But don't... don't give up yet alright? We'll find Harrington. And we'll get him back." 

Dustin's face twists up into a strong grimace. 

"Oh my God, is Billy Hargrove having a tender moment? Does he really have a soft, sensitive side to him?" The boy mocks caustically making Billy huff and roll his eyes. He supposes he deserves it for all the hell he's put the brats through already. 

"Okay don't be an ass about it. I'm just saying-" 

"Saying what? What exactly are you trying to accomplish here Billy? You've never cared about Steve, or any of us 'brats' before. Hell, you almost killed Steve and came damn near injuring Lucas! So why the interest all of a sudden? Huh? What, did you suddenly grow a heart or something?" Dustin snaps. His words are harsh and sadly, true. They're mean and nasty in a way that's meant to hurt and Billy can't help but feel like shit for it. He's proud of the kid's conviction at the same time too. He was a master at deflection and so he knew the tactic when he saw it. He nods slowly and his voice is surprisingly quiet and sagely.

"I know what I did to you guys was wrong. To Steve and Lucas especially. And I wish I could change all that but one thing you learn, is that you can't change the past. I'm not looking for your sympathy kid, believe me. I'm not. And I sure as hell don't deserve your forgiveness or whatever."

He pauses. 

"But I owe it to Har- to Steve to find him. To get him back because he's a much better person than me. And because we... we did become friends and he told me how much that means to you dweebs. I guess, it's the least I could do considering.... well, all things considered." 

'And I'm also madly in love with that stupid pretty boy but I can't tell anyone that.' He thinks wryly. 

Silence follows. 

"I'm just saying don't- ...Steve's stronger than he looks. Well get him back. I promise." 

Dustin isn't looking at him anymore but he can see the tears glistening on the kid's face. He doesn't call attention to it, doesn't tell the boy it's going to be okay. He just pats him lightly on the shoulder and goes to leave. 

"Hey-" 

He stops mid-step and turns to look at the kid. He's wiped his tears away on the sleeve of his sweater and is grinning slightly. It's a painfully small grin but Billy takes it as a win. 

"Yeah?" 

"You wanna help me make some more of these?" 

Billy huffs, smirking and shaking his head as he walks back over to the table. 

"No." He replies but he's already pulling out more slices of bread and placing cheese between them. He misses the wide grin that Dustin immediately cracks. 

..............

Steve's sure if he doesn't die from one of Helbig's tests, he'll most likely die from starvation. It's been days since he's eaten and all he's had has been a couple glasses of water. He's hungry and his stomach has gone from low grumbles to sharp stabs of pain from being empty. His throat burns from the lack of use and his tongue feels thick and heavy in his mouth. He swears he can feel every cell in his body dry up and his skins scratches like crazy but his shackled hands can't reach the itch. His bones feel acutely sore and he's not sure when he'd last had a cold pressure shower. It was probably yesterday... or the day before that. Or.... was it the week before.... He's losing his sense of time and the room was slowly driving him insane. 

It's so goddamn quiet, it's like he could hear his morbid thoughts bounce and echo off the walls of the tiny room. He can't see shit but sometimes when his mouth and throat don't feel so torn up and dry, he talks to himself. He pretends he's talking to Nancy, quietly and intimately. He pretends that they're still together and still madly in love. And that she's never loved anyone but him. Johnathan wasn't even in the picture then. But then he'd hear movements coming from nearby and the fantasy goes away and he's alone again. And he has to make up a new person to talk to. 

He imagines he's talking to Dustin at times, listening to the boy jabber about Dungeons and Dragons. And about how Lucas had rolled a thirteen enabling the party to defeat the demogorgon. In his fantasies they also beat the filthy creature in real life. His mind goes back to that crazy time in the tunnels and Steve thinks of him and the kids smashing and hacking at the hundreds of demodogs powering towards them. Those thoughts make him smile; makes him feel good for a while. And he holds on to them for dear life. 

At present, he was lying on that unforgiving floor, the thin paper hospital gown practically dead and useless against the unnatural coldness in the room. The material is hiked up to his waist- he has no idea how it got that way but he assumes it was from Brady and Gordon's manhandling. He can't see his legs when he looks down his body but he can feel how smooth and waxy his skin feels. Yesterday or was it the week before.... anyway; they'd waxed his entire body hairless some time ago. Now he felt like a mannequin, just vulnerable for Helbig and his team to test their products on. The thought caused a wave of nausea to wash over him and he screws his eyes shut. 

'Deus ex Machina', they called it. They planned to create an indestructible being out of him. Steve distantly wonders if that idea had been inspired by the recent 'Terminator' movie. The thought makes him chuckle lowly, the sound coming out more like a dry cough. God, he could just imagine how he'd look alongside the exoskeleton, red eyes and all that. His mind wanders back to Jake from Jericho and he falters slightly. Poor kid. His parents were probably still looking for him. Steve wonders if anyone was actually looking for him. 

They had to realize his absence any time now right? Hopper at least? He thinks about how the kids would probably realize that he's missing because he'd become their ride to and from school. They had to have noticed... right? Or maybe they didn't. But- no, they're incredibly smart kids. Smarter than him even. Well, everyone's smarter than him, he scoffs bitterly. He doubted that his parents even knew what was going on. But his kids would've realized... right? 

"Dustin...., Lucas- Max... Mike and Will Byers...." He murmurs softly to himself. It sounds like a shout in his ears making him wince. 

He needs to remember.... he has to remember their names. Quick. Before he forgets.

"Dustin!" He calls and his voice echoes hard in the room, bouncing off the walls and exploding in his ears. He groans, his fucking eyes tearing up again. 

"Lucas! Mike! Max!" He cries out into the infinite darkness. 

"Will!" He calls again but then clamps his mouth shut.

Shit! Wasn't Will missing? Yeah, he'd gotten lost in the... the place with the demodogs! The wrongside place- what was it called? The Upside Down. Right! 

"Will?" He calls again but then frowns. No. 

Something was wrong. 

Will... they did find him! Didn't they? Hopper and Mrs Byers had gone to the wrongs- the Upside Down and had rescued him! 

"Help!" He cries weakly, realizing his thoughts are melding and warping into one confusing mess; just like Helbig said it would. 

"Help me!" 

He's all cried out and his eyes are swollen and feel puffy. But a slight wetness comes to them, spilling out to soak into his hair. He sobs harder at the thought of his hair and he suddenly thinks of Billy. 

"Please..." He whimpers. 

He thinks of Billy's deep, ocean blue eyes and his pretty red lips. He licks his own lips at the thought. The boy's eyes are haunting and sad as they look back at him. There's a wind blowing through those princess blonde curls but Steve can't feel it. His grossly short hair doesn't even ruffle. It's like Billy's on another planet yet still so close. He sees the boy just as he'd been the last time they'd talked. Or screamed at each other, Steve isn't sure. Dark blue jeans and soft white t-shirt, with that goddamn leather jacket. He smiles shyly at him but Billy doesn't see him. He slams his eyes shut then, not wanting to see anymore. He decides to sing then, starting off with a soft hum then escalating to mournful, stuttering notes. 

"Hear that lonesome whip..p..poorwill,  
He sounds to blue... to fly.  
Oh the midnight train is winding- low,  
I'm so lonesome I could cry."

He doesn't know why that particular song comes to mind but he feels peaceful with it. Like it's comforted him before. He chuckles bitterly at the idea that Elvis Presley is comforting him.

"Did you ever...see a robin weep,  
When leaves began to die... is it die or fly?  
That means he's lost the will to live, ha,  
I'm so lonesome I could cry... m'already crying but whatever."

He lets out a shuddering breath.

"The silence of... of a falling star,  
Lights up a purple sky.  
And... as I wonder.... where you are,  
I'm so lonesome I could cry."

...............

The kids all rush to the door as Hopper does his secret knock but Billy remains standing in the corner near the couch. He's out of his element with the much bigger man's presence and he doesn't feel as threatened as he is scared. He doesn't do well with male authority figures so he's happy to sit back while the man locks up the door and takes off his hat, a deep frown on his bearded face. 

"What happened?" Dustin starts, anxiously.

"Did they find him?" Mike jumps in. And pretty soon the rest of the kids are shouting loud questions in the man's ear and demanding quick and satisfactory answers. Only Billy and Jane remain silent amidst the raucous and Billy feels his hackles rise as the man raises a hand.

"Hey! Hey! One at a damn time! Jesus." 

He can't help but flinch hard as the brats immediately fall silent and Hopper frowns up at him and Jane who are looking kind of spooked. 

"Hargrove's kid right?" Jim states matter of factly, approaching him casually. 

Billy shakes involuntarily and lowers his head in respect, just like Neil taught him. 

"Yes sir." He mutters, feeling sick. 

The Chief scoffs above him, clapping him on the back and that makes Billy step back in reflex. If Jim notices he doesn't call Billy out in it. Instead he simply steps back to give him space. 

"Call me Hopper kid." The man says easily, shrugging as he walks over to Jane. Billy is instantly riveted to the scene before him. Ch- Hopper, is kneeling in front of the girl and taking her hands tenderly in his much larger ones. He softly asks her if she's alright and she nods with a big smile which he returns and suddenly he seems very human. Vulnerable. Billy's can't remember the last time his father smiled like that. Hopper ruffles Jane's pretty curls before standing up and turning to address the other little shits in the room.

"Something's up." He begins.

"Yeah, no shit Chief." Dustin scoffs, bravely interrupting the man. Billy cringes and gauges Hopper's reaction. But the man doesn't seem bothered by it. 

"Steve Harrington's missing and I think the lab has something to do with it." Jim says simply, as if it's old news and his tone just shirks Billy a little. He doesn't dare say anything about it though. Hopper ignores Dustin's second "no shit" and continues in that grave tone.

"I contacted Dr Owens and he's looking into it but, last night Jane had a vision. She saw Brenner. Says he's still alive." 

There's a collective 'WHAT?!" from the boys. 

"How is that possible?" Will gasps tiredly, his shoulders hunched.

"Yeah, we saw him get taken out by that demogorgon at school!" Lucas protests, the weariness clear in his young voice.

"Did he say anything? Do you know if it was really him?" Mike questions and it's more for Jane than it is to Hopper. The boy's face is set up and serious as he gently touches the girl's shoulder. She shakes her head helplessly and leans into his hug. 

"I don't know. Just saw him in the dark. He... He looked different." She whimpers.

"Different how?" Mike frowns, looking to Dustin and Lucas. 

"She said his hair was black and he had on a mask. Like one of those opera, masquerade masks." Hopper answers, hands on his hip, his eyes blinking hard. He's clearly thinking about something and Billy doesn't like that look. He hasn't spoken a word yet since he felt like an abject outsider. But he'd be damned if he didn't let Hopper know exactly where his priorities lay. 

"What else... what else aren't you telling us?" He blurts out quickly and suddenly everyone's eyes are on him. He bites his lip nervously. He didn't know who Brenner was and frankly, he didn't care. He just wanted to get Steve back. 

"Yeah," Dustin chimes in to his surprise. "What's going on with Steve and why hasn't anyone heard anything yet?" 

Hopper sighs.

"Someone called the station and reported Harrington missing." He reveals and Billy notes how Dustin deflates.

"What? Who called?" The kid demands, his fists curling.

"It was anonymous which is all manner of suspicious." 

Mike shakes his head in denial. 

"How did they know? We were at Steve's house all day looking for him. No one else came by." 

Hopper raised an authoritative brow at them.

"You ditched your classes?" He rumbles, rolling his eyes and running a hand over his face, exasperated. The kids shrug as if it were no big deal.

"Oh my God." Is all he murmurs before pulling out a cigarette and lighting it. 

"Well could it have been his parents?" Max suggests.

Hopper shakes his head. "No they've been out of Hawkins for a week now for conference season. Won't be back for another six months. I told the deputy to inform them. The point is, that anonymous call was planned. There's no way anyone could've known Harrington was missing. We still haven't found his car yet. Jane, did you see him when you checked?" 

She shakes her head and mutters a soft 'no'. 

"Can you try again? Or do you want to rest first and then we can-" The Chief was careful with her as if she were made of porcelain. She cuts him off by shaking her head again.

"No, I can try again." She says confidently and it gives Billy hope. He doesn't say anything but he silently wishes for her to hurry up and do whatever hocus pocus she has to do to find Steve. 

Sighing, Mike hands her a black bandana which she wraps around her eyes. Hopper helps her sit on the floor with her legs crossed and then they all stare. She's silent for a long while, the room deafeningly silent; nothing but the sounds of chirping birds in the tree outside. Billy watches her carefully, noting how her brows start to crease up. Her breathing steadily begins to pick up as the agonizing minutes tick by. 

"Steve..." She murmurs softly and Billy's ears perk up. 

"Steve?" She calls again and he swears that his heart's stopped. 

She whimpers again and then starts screaming like she's seen some kind of horror scene. Billy's heart is in his throat now. Mike grabs Jane's hand as if to remind her she's not alone. Billy can see tears falling from her eyes, the wetness soaking up into the bandana. Hopper's had enough and he's gently shaking her awake until she rips off the bandana and collapses into the Chief. 

"It's okay Jane. It's okay sweetie, just breathe- c'mon, in-out, in-out." The man murmurs carefully to her until her scared sobs taper off into quiet sniffles. 

"What did you see El?" Dustin demands but not unkindly.

She looks up at them before resting her gaze on Billy and keeping it there. He flusters and looks away because he can feel his eyes grow wet too. 

"D...demogorgon. They're roaming the forests. And the lab." She chokes out and they all freeze. 

"What! That's not possible! You closed the Gate!" Mike exclaims, still holding on to her.

Dustin blanches. "Wait, did you mea- ...did they... is Steve-" he stammers unable to say the words. El quickly shakes her head though.

"No. I didn't see him, I'm sorry." 

Hopper smiles slightly and pats her gently on the head. "It's okay kid, it's not your fault." When he gets up from kneeling though, his face is twisted into a worried grimace. 

"I don't know how those demogorgons got out but they must've come through another Gate. A Gate Brenner probably opened; if he really is alive." 

"We have a theory." Dustin finally admits, catching Hopper's attention. He raises a brow expectantly waiting for him to continue. 

"Dustin has a theory." Lucas points out, earning a sharp side-glance from Dustin. 

"Okay, go ahead kid, we don't exactly have much to go on. Anything's better than nothing and we need as much information as possible if we want to have any chances of getting Steve back." Hopper rumbles. 

Dustin nods. "When Billy was in the hospital I saw some doctors talking to two State police officers. After the tape they were all supposed to be gone but I think some are still here; lurking around the lab to see if they can salvage their experiments."

Billy recalls how awkward Cochrane had been acting with him and he absently wonders if the man had anything to do with any of it. It's a fleeting thought and it leaves him the moment it comes to his head. 

"Maybe even open back the Gate?" Will asks, the terror in his voice all too real and raw. El shudders beside Mike and Billy's suddenly tired of all the speculation. 

"Look, Gate or not, Harrington's still missing. Why don't we find him first and then speculate?" He retorts, a sharp edge to his words. 

Dustin looks almost ready to cry again but this time it's like tears of respect and relief. The rest of them frown at him weirdly, including Max who's suddenly looking spooked as she gauges his tone. He knows she's probably scared that he was going to get angry and try to fight the Chief. So he sighs and sits down on the couch instead, head in his hands. 

"Sorry." He mutters grudgingly. Suddenly there's a gentle pat on his shoulder and he doesn't have to look up to see that it's Hopper. 

"It's okay kid. We'll get him back, ... we just have to come up with a better plan. I'm going back to the station now to see what they've come up with and I want you guys to go home and get some rest."

Hopper anticipates the oncoming complaints and whining and he holds up an authoritative hand before it all goes out of hand. 

"Get some rest and I'll call everyone when I get more information. And I'll keep on the lookout for Staties. We'll formulate a proper plan to get Steve back. And I don't want any of you going out on your own to try and find the kid. Got it?" 

That was more directed towards Billy and he frowns. He was reckless but he wasn't dumb... not really. He looks away from Hopper, rolling his eyes. God, if he had to spend another day without his princess, he was gonna fucking explode. 

....................

The next time Steve jolted to consciousness, he was being dragged by rough hands down that white hallway again. He stumbled to keep on his feet and to keep up with Brady and Gordon who were powering on ahead of him, their hands latched on tight to the chains that bound his arms and legs. They ignored his pained whimpers and grunts and yanked on the chain harder just to see him stumble- their own little form of amusement in this godforsaken place he supposed. He couldn't find it within himself to resist however and that in itself was a tough pill to swallow. His body had grown increasingly weaker as the days went on without food and just three tall glasses of water every day. Just enough to keep him alive, but not enough to satisfy his hunger. 

He moaned and it sounded like a death rattle as they manhandled him all the way into a hospital bed. Or it could have been an operating table, he wasn't sure anymore. His wrists and ankles are secured to the side railings around him so tight as if to completely incapacitate him. He could barely move a limb and it was frightening as several doctors surrounded the bed in their white coats and surgeon masks to peer down at him like some kind of alien specimen. One of them was Helbig, who pressed a glass of ice water to his lips and ordered a muffled, "drink". He obeys like a hungry dog and laps up the fucking thing like it's the best thing he's ever tasted. 

"Easy now, don't want you making yourself sick Steven." Helbig's voice steadily warns and it's oddly soothing. Steve just keeps his eyes on the man as he swallows the water. 

He drinks half of the glass before dropping his head back into the pillow, exhausted. God he feels so sick now. His head is pounding and his body is shaking like a leaf but not from any stimuli around him; no, it's shivering of its own accord and that scares him.

"M'hungry." He coughs weakly, dark eyes pleading. It sounds pathetic to his ears but he doesn't care. The hunger is making him sick and delirious. 

"I know you are. It's a key strategy I use to maintain the potency of the DEM serum. No food means no buffer between the serum and your body. This will make it have a stronger effect you understand." Helbig says, and even though he's got on his blue surgical mask, Steve can hear the smile in his tone. He's excited. 

"Pl... please, I... need-" He tries again, but his pitiful staccato breaths are interrupted by Helbig.

"I know what you need. But you're not going to get it until we've finished the first leg of the experiment. You can have anything you wish to eat after I'm done here. Okay?" 

Steve hates the condescending tone in the man's voice but he grits his teeth and stops talking. He thinks it's probably a lie; that they're probably not going to give him food, ever and that the main plan from the beginning was to let him starve to death. Fuckers. He's swaying headily in and out of consciousness as the doctors all begin to work. Their voices sound like faint echoes to his ears, like he's under water or something. 

"Now," Helbig begins, wiping the crook of Steve's elbow with a piece of cotton that's been soaked in alcohol to sterilize it. He does it to the other side as well and then wipes the place at his neck where the vein is most prominent at his jugular. He shivers from the cold feeling.

"The last subject, TS-3, was injected with 3, 450 milligrams of the DEM serum. That's about half a teaspoon measurement. It worked perfectly but, I want to see if the effect increases if I up the dosage. So you will be given 6, 900 milligrams." Helbig informs him, his voice all serious and clinical now. 

Steve's breathing picks up as the man pulls out a needle, already filled with a thick golden liquid. 

The Deus Ex Machina serum. 

He whimpers as the man brings the needle to the crook of his elbow, the left side. He can't help but try to pull away from the threatening thing but the restraints are holding him in place. 

"No!" He yelps out as the thing pierces the vein there. Hard. It's a fucking thick needle. He slams his head back in agony as Helbig presses down, pumping more of the poison into his veins. It doesn't feel like anything yet. And Steve finds himself bracing for the pain. It doesn't come, even as Helbig is injecting the second dose into his other arm. The other doctors around him are holding him down while some are jotting down notes, frowning at him with emotionless eyes. 

He growls at them through gritted teeth but then let's out a sharp gasp as the serum catches him off-guard the minute Helbig's pulling the needle out of his neck. A hot spark slices through his chest as he gasps again, feeling his heart race. The other doctors are writing furiously now as he writhes on the table in agony. He's completely gone within five minutes of the serum being injected into him, the liquid like fire in his veins as he screams. 

"H- uh! Help m...me please!" He hears himself cry, but it sounds distant and unattached. Hot tears spring into his eyes and he jackknifes hard as another wave of acid passes through his body. He's spasming and he can't breathe- can't think. Can't think about anything except the pain. He's never drunk bleach before but he imagines this is what it feels like when some suicide survivors talk about their near-death experiences on the hospital bed after drinking the toxic liquid. Like molten lava in his fucking veins. 

He screams again, his body shaking and vibrating against the table's hard surface, the restraints like metal teeth cutting into his skin, bleeding it raw. Some other white coats try to hold him down and it feels like they've been in this position before. Jake flashes in his head for a quick minute and Steve suddenly thinks, 'I'm going to die!' 

Helbig watches the scene before him with a satisfied gleam in his eyes. Steve's body is reacting just like he'd wanted it to. Just like TS-3 had reacted, only it was more intense because of the much higher dose the boy had been given. His legs are flailing uselessly against the table but his ankles are immobile under the metal bindings. His hands pull murderously at the wrist cuffs but remain secured. There is bright red blood dripping down his pale wrists and Helbig practically salivates at the sight. Steve's back arches as another wave of burning pain shoots through his spine. TS-3 had compared the feeling to that of being burnt alive.

"What does it feel like?" He demands, hovering over the shaking boy. He's met with wet, glassy brow doe-eyes that stare back at him, listless. Unaware. Unfocused. 

Helbig grasps the kid's face in his hands, holding him in place.

"Steven! Hey, tell me! What does it feel like? Inside you. What does it feel like? Steve!" 

Steve just cries harder, practically bawling out incoherent words. But they're enough for Helbig to interpret. "Burning! My head is burning! Hel-" He's cut off by another shrill cry. The kid bites down hard, clipping his tongue, causing blood to fill his mouth.

Shit. This seems worse than Jake's reaction to the serum. 

Another doctor quickly gets a sterilized rubber mouth-guard and sticks it into the kid's mouth. He was damn near close to biting off his own tongue. 

"What else do you feel Steve?" 

"Hel- uhmghh! Help me ple-" He sounds severely muffled by the mouth-guard but they hear him anyway.

"Tell me what hurts." Helbig tries again, grabbing Steve by the hair and holding him there, focused.

"Ev- uhm everything! Make it stop- fuck mhha please! Make it stop!" 

His body spasms hard for thirty-two minutes, before his screams and cries taper off into little hitched moans and whimpers. His eyes are glassy and detached as he lies there, prone on the table, his body spasming in short intervals now. His fingers are curled into his palm and he hasn't loosened the grip yet. He's still moaning drunkenly and his head is lolling from side to side as Helbig let's go of his grip in the boy's hair. They all stare down at him, making notes and taking pictures. The room has several cameras placed there specifically for recording tests like this one. The first step was almost complete. 

Helbig ignores the soft whimpers of pain coming from Steve as he opens up the brown folder labelled 'TS-3'. He thumbs through the pages before stopping at a particular picture. It's black and white and a bit crumbly but he makes out the body in it anyway. It's Jake after his first intake of the DEM serum. It's ghastly similar to what he's just witnessed with Harrington. He flips through some more pictures before he comes across the one he's looking for. 

It's an image of Jake, completely naked with something akin to burn marks all over his body. His pale chest is covered with the dark marks, indicators of the effects of the serum. He promptly orders the doctors to check for similar marks on Steve. Their gloved hands go to work, cutting the paper hospital gown off and ripping it from his body. Steve doesn't even try to protest; just lies there with a glazed look in his wet, wide eyes, his mouth working mindlessly around the rubber guard. He's making these little choked gasps and moans that sound like he's talking to some invisible force that only he can see. Helbig notes the behaviour as typical after a subject has had his brain fried. He imagines that the serum has probably coated about 75% of the boy's insides now. 

"Sir, the subject is exhibiting all the reactions to DEM just as we had calculated." One of the doctors informs him. He looks at her, a wide grin on his face.

"Yes he is. That means it's working. Set him up for a brain and full body scan. I think Doctor Mercer will have the time to squeeze in another test subject tomorrow." 

She nods quickly, matching his grin with an equally indulgent smirk. 

"Consider it done Sir." She replies as Helbig goes over to Steve to look over his naked body. 

The pale skin of his chest is marred with deep red blotches as if someone had burned him from the inside. His stomach fares far worse as most of the tender skin is covered in burns. His legs sport the same marks but it's sparse. Thick veins of burnt red run along his thin arms all the way up to his neck and stopping at his jaw. TS-3 hadn't shown so many burn marks but his marks had also stopped at the jaw. Helbig theorized that the serum was only strong enough to attack the body and not the brain; only set alight the nerves leading to it; hence his incorporation of psychological tests to completely alter his test subjects. 

Steve knows he's awake. He knows his eyes are open and he can fucking hear talking and movement around him. But he can't move! He tries hard just to even twitch a muscle or a finger at least but nothing moves. It's like he's lost total control of his body and it's just spasming on its own. His heart is racing in his chest and he feels his legs tremble. He's reduced into only possessing the capacity to think about what he's feeling... and not what's making him feel this way. He knows the doctors are still there but he can't process what they're doing or saying. He sees a man looking down at him with a familiar face but he can't place the name. But he knows the man! 

The pain dissipates into a low burning sensation in his skin and constant spasms. He doesn't even feel remotely cold even though he knows he's naked. Shame has left him a long time ago; he doesn't have the strength to care about his nudity in front of all these strangers at the moment. He tries to speak- he doesn't know why- but when he does it feels like there's cotton in his mouth or something. There's the faint taste of copper in his mouth, his throat but he doesn't process it. The stinging on his tongue doesn't register. He's become exactly what Helbig said he'd become; mindless. Thoughtless. 

Helbig takes one last look at the pale, shivering boy on the table before opening up a brand new file. 

The label on it says 'TS-4'.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The title was from Skillet's 'Awake and Alive' track. More to come! ;D


	13. Blood, Sweat and Tears

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Team has finally found a lead. They plan on finding Steve with it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another chapo. Hope you guys enjoy.

Blood, Sweat and Tears

Doctor Helbig couldn't stop the extremely smug smile from splitting his face even if he wanted to. His eyes raked hungrily over the test results of the brain scan on TS-4 and his hands shook with excitement at what they meant. Call him corny, but he wanted to shout "Eureka!" at the top of his lungs as he sat in his office. 

The scans showed a cross-section of TS-4's cranium and highlighted just how much of the neurons had been completely taken over by the DEM serum. Almost 47% was covered in the chemical; a hefty improvement from TS-3, who'd only managed a meagre 23%. But even with that small amount, TS-3 had been near invincible, having reopened the Gate and all. He remembered how cold the new lab had gotten when Jake simply closed his eyes and cracked open the lab's basement. The hole in the wall had been properly secured after that but the possibilities that it held for more research were endless. If they could create a serum out of the spores they'd found in the Upside Down, that practically turned human beings into Gods, what else could they do? 

TS-4 was a promising experiment and Helbig could not wait to see the end result. 

................

Billy had gotten sick. 

And it wasn't like the cold or the flu sick. No. Billy was sick to his stomach worrying and worrying over Steve Harrington. He slept with his eyes open and a steady hand on a butcher's knife every night, waiting and waiting. Wondering if he'd ever see the brunette again. Three days. Three fucking days had passed and Hopper hadn't told them anything. Nothing but to "stay put until he found something." The only reason why he'd even waited so long was because the kids had told him to trust Jane's instincts; that she would find Steve. And that Hopper would soon find something that would help them find Harrington. He didn't want to mess up whatever plan Hopper was constructing. He was also unsure of what he'd meet up in the woods if he had tried to go look for clues. Call it cowardice or wisdom, but Billy preferred to keep his guts inside of him while searching for the missing boy. 

But now.... he wasn't so sure anymore. His head hurt from lack of sleep and his eyes were bloodshot from being opened too long. He hasn't eaten anything for hours and all he's had to drink was four beers. Even his cigarettes lie quietly in the pocket of his jeans untouched. Max has knocked on his door a few times but he didn't have the energy or will to answer her. He's tired, weary and he just wants to find Steve. Just wants to find his fucking princess and tuck him back in his frigging castle. And stay with him forever because he's never going to let Harrington out of his sights again. 

Sighing, he slowly drags himself out of bed like a zombie as the knock on his door intensifies.

"Bill-!" Max is caught off-guard as he actually opens the door, eyeing her wearily. 

"You- ...you actually answered." She mutters in shock. He rolls his eyes. 

"Whataya want Max?" 

"Lucas called. Hopper's found something." 

Billy freezes for a millisecond before exploding, stumbling back to his bed to grab his jacket. 

"Then what the hell are we waiting for?" He argues frustratedly, looking around the room for his keys. Max stops him with a shove before he can barrel out the goddamn door. 

"What the hell Max?!" 

Max scrunches up her face in a disgusted way. 

"You're gonna shower first, then we'll go." 

Billy only has to take one look at himself in the mirror to know she's right. 

\------------------------

 

Twenty minutes later, they're stumbling through the door of Hopper's cabin, Max running to Lucas as soon as they're past the threshold. Billy on the other hand pauses as he notices the other people in the room. He makes out a pretty but tired looking woman who he assumes is Joyce Byers; Nancy and Johnathan- much to his chagrin and an old man with greying hair and a limp. He doesn't get a chance to say anything before Hopper is yanking him inside and bolting the door shut. 

"What's he doing here?" Nancy demands, more curious than angry. Her huge blue eyes are frowning at him, bewildered. Johnathan has the same look on his face but he doesn't say anything. Billy narrows his eyes at them, sneering nastily because he suddenly feels cornered and unwelcome. 

"None of your business, Wheeler." He snarks, pulling out a cigarette and immediately lighting it. 

"He's been helping us look for Steve." Dustin tells her and Billy's quite certain he's never liked the kid more. 

"Look, it doesn't matter why he's here and frankly, we could use the extra muscle. We need to focus on finding the kid." Hopper interrupts, grabbing the cigarette out of Billy's mouth and taking a pull before stomping it on the ground. 

"No smoking in here." He tells him and Billy's sure it has something to do with Jane. He snorts but complies because he's not a total moron and he knows it probably hurts the Chief more to waste a perfectly good cigarette in his own place. Nancy's eyes are still on him though and it's pissing him off. 

"This morning they found Harrington's car." Hopper starts and Dustin jumps up from the couch. They're all silent but anxious. Billy's mental. 

"Where?" He demands, his tone low and firm. 

"It was parked at a bus station in Philadelphia. The Philly PD called it in this morning and I sent some runts to bring it back. They found this." Hopper states handing Billy a piece of paper torn from a notebook with scribbles on it. He swipes it quickly like it's a treasure map or something. Hopper continues explaining what's been going on but Billy zones him out, eyes practically drinking in Harrington's.... letter. 

It read: "Mom, Dad, I know you're gonna flip out or whatever about the car so, I'll leave it somewhere that's easy to find. I'm tired of everything and I just need a break. I need to go somewhere else for a while to get myself together. Everyone will be fine without me I guess. I just can't stand Hawkins right now. Steve."

Billy frowns hard, the paper crumpling more and more as he gets angrier and angrier. Whoever took Steve thought they were clever. 

"This isn't Steve's handwriting." He says and even he is shocked by the sharp edge in his tone. 

Hopper stops mid-sentence to raise a questioning brow at him. 

"What d'you mean?" 

Billy shakes his head thrusting the paper back to Hopper to see. 

"It's not Harrington's handwriting. He- ...his style is way scrappier and spaced out. This, ...this is- look it's not him alright." 

"Well can you verify that for sure? We know that he was kidnapped but we need to really be sure he didn't actually leave this behind-" Hopper began but Nancy quickly interrupts him.

"Let me see. I know Steve's handwriting pretty well." She offers and completely misses the withering glare Billy sends her way. He couldn't blame her though since she had been with Harrington for a while- Billy had just read some of the pointless words Steve had made on the front page of 'Deadeye Dick'. Sighing, he begrudgingly hands the letter over to her.

"Guys, we don't need to verify anything." Dustin protests. "There was no way Steve would leave without telling any of us and besides, he would've told me if he was feeling the way that letter makes him sound." 

Mike and Lucas nod. "That's true. Steve was even supposed to give us a ride home and he never showed."

"So it's best if we cut all this bullshit police talk and actually go out and look for him." Billy finishes, keeping his hard glare on Hopper, ignoring Nancy's piercing stare. 

Hopper grunts quietly nodding to the old man who had been sitting there for the past few minutes just observing everyone argue. 

"This is Dr Sam Owens, Billy." He introduces and Billy almost hurts his face with the frown he puts on his face. Who cares Hopper? 

"Okay. The kids told me about you" He snarks rudely but the old man just smirks slightly. 

"Then you'd know that I'm the one with access to all government databases and secret operations which can help us find your friend." He replies and it almost sounds cocky but there's a serious tone in his voice. Billy clenches his mouth shut, nodding slightly for Owens to go on. 

"Hop here told me about Jane's vision and it's unfortunate that I have to confirm it. Brenner is alive or at least that what I've heard through the grapevine. The Staties don't exactly trust me after what happened last time so, at the moment I've been omitted from much of what goes on in headquarters."

"This is all very heart-breaking I'm sure man, but right now I don't really give a damn that you had a bad day at the office. Just tell us where they took Steve." Billy snaps and he earns a few nods of approval from several party members, Nancy included. 

Owens nods patiently. 

"From what I've been told, Brenner has another secret lab set up in Hawkins."

There is a collective, "What?" from everyone in the room. 

"It's just a few miles off from the first lab." Owens explains. 

Nancy shakes her head. "That's insane, there's nothing after the labs except more forest!" 

"Yeah and then the road after it just circles back to the quarry. Are you sure Doc?" Joyce finally speaks, her arms crossed tightly around her. She subconsciously has her eyes on Will. They're all on edge as if they knew the gravity of the situation Owens was just explaining. Billy could only allow himself to be angry and confused as he had not shared in their collective traumas of dealing with Hawkins labs and everything that went along with it. 

"I'm sure of it. That's what I saw on the map they showed me. It's an underground facility that uses a new type of energy to fuel all of its equipment and machinery. The army doesn't even have stuff like that yet. Trust me, if they really took Steve, that's where he'll be." 

Hopper doesn't say anything but starts going around the cabin picking up guns and other arms that had been secretly stashed away in obscure places. In the floorboards, under the couch, on the walls behind larger pictures, you name it. Billy felt his skin itch with excitement. And relief. Finally, they were gonna get Harrington back. 

"Woah woah, slow your roll." The Chief suddenly says, putting a hand on Nancy's shoulder. She was reaching for a shotgun. 

"What?" She demands impatiently.

"We don't know what's out there yet. I'm going to scope the place out and you're all going to stay here in case something happens." The man orders and he's instantly met with glares and protest.

"Like hell I'm staying here." Billy growls, taking an aggressive step towards the Police Chief for the first time since they'd met. Threatening, male authority figure or not, Billy was prepared to take down anybody who was stupid enough to stop him from finding his pri- from finding Harrington. 

"You'll need help and we can provide assistance." Dustin insists, earning a barrage of nods from the other kids.

"We can't just sit here while you go out there and risk your life. We can all help get him back." Mike argues and his tone is marred by a grave finality that has Hopper doubting himself. 

"Help." Jane states resolutely, agreeing with Mike's stance. 

Joyce is the only one who notices Hopper's self-righteous act of bravery as a sincere one that is burdened by the man's true feelings. He hates letting people down; worse yet, he becomes severely overprotective when he cares about someone or something. And Steve had been taken under his watch, under his authority and he blamed himself for just letting the kid slip through his fingers. 

She walks up to him slowly, resting a careful hand on his shoulder. Her voice is a kind and understanding whisper.

"It's okay Jim. You don't have to do this alone. We're all here and we've fought and won against those men before. They're right. We need all the help we can get to get that poor boy back home safe and sound. Just like we did for my Will. Let's work together. Hm?" 

Hopper sighs, defeated under the soul-crushing gaze of the most beautiful woman he's ever known. He feels his shame pour out of himself and he reaches for her shoulder like a man drowning. She's right and he knows it. He just doesn't think he can stomach another kid getting hurt under his watch. Letting Harrington get kidnapped was already more than he could handle. He hasn't interacted with the brunette much, even after the events with the Mind Flayer. But he knows the story of how Steve had sacrificed his own safety and well-being to protect the kids. How the boy had protected them- Lucas Sinclair, specifically- when Hargrove had attacked him. Steve wasn't as lame and useless as his father had painted the boy to be and Hopper found himself hating John Harrington even more than he already did. They would get Steve back, he decides, exhaling with certainty. 

"Okay." He says nodding at Joyce, his hand over hers on his shoulder. The relief in the room feels almost tangible as he says that.

"Alright, let's come up with a plan. Let's get Steve back." 

................

Steve is woken up by the sudden urge to throw up. And he does. All over himself and the floor under him. 

He's back in the room of horrors and he has no idea how long the time lapse between when he was given the DEM and after that. His mind is swirling and his brain feels like mush. There are no thoughts in his mind however and it scares him for some reason. His eyes are flicking up and around at the blackness around him as he heaves up more acidic bile. It smells horrible, like chemicals and it glows dimly in the darkness. And it doesn't stop. 

His throat makes a "mmmrghhh" sound, like a death moan and suddenly the bile isn't leaving his throat. He can feel it, taste it bubbling in his esophagus, like a gurgling river but because of his horizontal position, it's not draining properly. He begins to choke and his body his twitching and spasming with the effort. 

"Hel- c'uh!" His desperate call for help is cut off by a nasty choke slash cough and he can feel his entire throat fill with the burning substance. He's choking on his own vomit. 

There's a rattling of keys in an iron padlock and suddenly blinding light bursts into his room followed by extremely loud shouts and hassled footsteps. He doesn't know who the people are but they're suddenly unchaining him from his shackles and he's so grateful. They force him to roll on his side, allowing the vomit to spill from his mouth onto the floor in three harsh heaves. The gut-wrenching spasms light up his sore stomach and he sobs from the pain. 

The hands try to bring him to his feet but his body is much too weak for that and he collapses hard into the gross puddle he's created on the concrete floor. His hands and knees are soiled. It doesn't register though, so he just sits there, helplessly, wiping at his mouth, his eyes blood-red with over-exerted capillaries. The tears in them are hot and stinging. The unknown people helping him make grunts of disapproval and disgust but he can't bring himself to care. Or feel shame. Everything hurts- and not like hurt as in soreness or bruises; no, his skin is burning. His veins are on fire like they've got acid running through them. His skin feels like paper and his bones, like shattered glass. 

"Get him on the gurney and take him to the showers." A deep voice echoes loudly in his ears and he cringes from it. Did the man really have to shout? He whimpers weakly as rough hands pick him up and dump him on a much softer surface unlike the unforgiving floor. The surface begins to move and it makes him feel sick again. His throat gurgles before he's spilling his guts again, but this time someone holds out a bucket in front of him. 

He's thankful. 

But it doesn't help the moving around much and pretty soon the bucket's almost full. He just keeps glaring back at his sorry reflection in the bright yellow liquid, tears dipping steadily into it. He doesn't recognise the person frowning back at him. The bright lights in the hallway don't irritate his eyes as much as they should. He feels different. A very bad different. Not that he has any idea of who he was before that operating table. 

Steve! 

He frowns harder as he's taken by another heave. The voice sounds familiar, ringing in his ear. 

Steve! It hisses again and he cringes from how loud it is. 

"Don't.... h-uh, shout." He growls, his voice sounding alien and low, his teeth crunching hard. 

The people around him began speaking again and it's all muffled, futile arguing to his ears. He curls in on himself trying to shut them out but he can't. Not when he's throwing up again. The surface he's on finally comes to an abrupt stop and he's being placed in front of a toilet to puke out the rest of his insides. His knees hit the hard, tile floor and he grunts out before spewing. He feels so incredibly sick. And exhausted. It feels like he's been throwing up for hours. 

Careless hands rip at the thin fabric on his body, exposing him as he crouches over the porcelain bowl. He doesn't have on any underwear- not sure if he's allowed any. Coldness erupts all over his skin and he shivers, wrapping burned and bruised arms around himself. His thoughts are wired and hyperactive and all he sees when he closes his eyes are bright spots of white against black. They hurt. 

"Come in, Helbig, this is Gordon. Over." The man grunts. There's a sharp crackle and then, "Copy, this is Helbig. How is Four? Over."

"Throwing up his liver." Gordon jokes and Brady snickers along with him. There's a frustrated sigh from the other end.

"Yes, that is one of the side effects of DEM. Three shared a similar experience. Bring him to me when you're done hosing him down. Over and out." 

Gordon shrugs and gestures towards the pale boy slumping against the wall next to the toilet. He looked an absolute mess laying there, his hair dark and lifeless on his head. There were dark spots under his eyes like he hasn't slept in years and the burn marks stand out angry and crimson in stark contrast to his white, clammy skin. His lips are white and bitten bloody. He's the perfect picture of death. 

Just like they wanted.

........

Billy growls impatiently as the kids file into his car. For a minute he was happy and relieved that Hopper had changed his mind and was allowing them to help get Steve; but then the man told him he and the kids would be the 'lookouts'. Basically, the plan was that Hopper and Johnathan would scope out the area, with Owens' help and then when they got a proper read on the layout of the area, they'd go in, get Steve and book it. Their ride was Joyce and Nancy who were using Jonathan's car. 

According to Owens, the security wasn't as beefed up like the old lab had been, so Hopper and Johnathan wouldn't have a difficult time getting in the place. But once they were inside, it was a maze from there and most of the guards were stationed in the facility. Billy was so pissed. He'd begged -and Billy didn't beg- but he'd pleaded with Hopper to let him go with. He could help! And he was sure as fuck more capable than Johnathan when it came to smashing people's heads in. He was more fit than Johnathan and he was way more ‘well-muscled’. 

He should be there! 

"Hey! Hey! Shut the fuck up back there or I'll throw you out and you'll have to walk back all the way to the cabin!" He growled frustratedly at the kids who fell silent instantly. He almost felt bad. Almost.

"That goes for you too." He adds, fixing Max with a stone cold glare. 

"Geez, calm down Billy." She mutters tiredly from the passenger side. 

His eyes glimpse the boy's in the back and then they lock with a pair of unmoving ones. Jane. 

Shit. Now he feels bad. 

"Sorry." He mutters, running both hands over his face, exasperated. He's on edge and he's pissed that he got left behind. He couldn't take it out on the kids, they got left behind too. They'd protested as much as he did when Hopper had told them of his fucking plan. It wasn't fair. But neither was it safe and Billy knew enough to admit it to himself. He would go in there half-cocked and pissed off as all hell and probably screw everybody over including Steve. He exhaled slowly, eyes closed. 

"Hopper will get him. Just like he got me." Will reassures him weakly and he finds himself smiling slightly at the kid in the mirror. 

"Yeah." Dustin adds. "I mean, last time something like this happened, Steve had been the one to keep us safe. Without him, we don't really have much of a purpose here besides being the lookout; which is an important role for any adventurer. We're Hopper and Jonathan's eyes out here. They're hopeless without us." 

Billy smirks to himself at that one, nodding absently as he keeps his eyes on the lighted windows of the rusty warehouse past the woods. He appreciates the encouragement from the nerds though he'll never admit it. He thinks about Steve protecting them from big bad monsters from the Upside Down with a nail-studded baseball bat slung sexily over his shoulder. Shit. The memory of him fucking up Steve's face that same night comes to haunt him and suddenly he stops smiling. He really fucked up. 

"Guess he really is the 'Badass Babysitter' he always claims to be." He says softly, regret harsh in his voice. 

Lucas nods slowly. "He's more than that. He's family." 

Billy feels his eyes mist at the sound statement from such a young kid and he finds himself shaking his head. 

"I... I know it doesn't seem like it but, I-" 

A loud, animalistic cry shuts him up immediately and suddenly they're all on alert. The kids are looking towards the forest while Billy is scanning the entire area, his eyes wide and vigilant. 

"Was that a-" Max whispers.

"Demodog!" Dustin hisses, peering out the window. 

"Jane, you were right." Mike says quietly, wrapping his hands around her protectively as she shakes. She doesn't look scared though. Billy sees her forehead bend low but her eyes remain fixed on a particular spot amidst the trees. She's out of the car in an instant. 

"Hey!-" Billy spits tensely, shoving open his own door to follow her. 

"Billy! Stay in the car! El knows what she's doing!" Mike hisses at him. 

"Yeah but I'm not about to let her fight them on her own. She's still just a kid." He hisses back before pulling out the machete Hopper had accessorized him with. It's sharp so he has to be careful with it, especially in proximity to Jane. 

"Stay here. Radio Joyce and Nancy if- ...if you need to." He orders the kids but Dustin is shaking his head.

"No! Billy, come back! You don't know what you're dealing with here! They're huge and ten times stronger than you!" 

The boy's eyes look stricken, as if- ...as if he's afraid for Billy. As if he's scared he'd... lose him. He imagines that the kid is thinking about Harrington in that moment. His heart does a weird thing it's never done before and he's suddenly too warm.

"I'll be fine kid. Keep the windows up and your voices down. Max can drive you out of here if I'm not back." 

"Billy!" Max starts.

"I'm not leaving Jane!" Mike protests but Billy frowns down at him. 

"Trust me kid, she's gonna be the one most likely to come back. I won't let anything happen to her." 

He leaves them, praying that they're safe and sound and follows Jane into the thickness of criss-crossed vines and branches, his heart in his throat. The roars and growls have subsided but he can still feel their presence. They're close. Jane suddenly stops and Billy almost trips over himself. She turns her head and shoots him the most serious stare he's ever seen. It catches him off-guard for a moment. 

"Where-" A bloodcurdling scream bursts out of the deafening silence around them and Billy almost jumps out of his skin. 

"Fuck!" He yells as Jane raises her right hand fast, glaring at something behind him. He rounds on it and gasps sharply as the... thing is flung back into a thick tree trunk. The thing looks like some kind of hybrid reptile, dark and slimy. It shakes and shudders against the bark, still in the air thanks to Jane and Billy's in fucking awe. He grimaces as the thing's face opens up, like four petals, shrieking in pain. The sound scrapes irritably against his eardrums, like nails on a chalkboard, edging his teeth. 

Jane is distracted by the first demodog so she doesn't see the next one crawling up on the side of her. And if Billy hadn't been paying attention, he might've missed it too. But he doesn't. He charges at it and slices the machete through the air until it collides with something hard and very much alive. He grunts hard as the sharp blade only manages to catch it on one of its petals. But the skin is tough, like snake skin or alligator skin and it bounces off easily. 

"Shit!" He chokes out as the thing jumps on him, taking him down. He hears Max's words in his head then, loud and clear. 'It's like staring into the face of death.' The demodog's face opens up and it roars at him, thick drops of salvia dripping in globs onto his face. He clenches his jaw and reaches out for his machete that's just out of his reach. 

"Fuck! Agh!" He scathes as the thing digs its sharp rows of teeth into his shoulder, cutting him open. It's surprisingly painless at first but he knows the thing cut deep. He doesn't care though. He was the oldest person there, it was his responsibility to keep those kids safe. Snarling he balled up his fist and catches the thing in the side of its warped head. It shrieks and he does it again. And again and again until it backs off slightly. In his peripheral, Jane has killed the first demodog and has moved on to the next one. Friggin' badass, he thinks before the one he's fighting lunges at him again. 

He ducks out of the way and grabs the machete. 

"Come on you son of a bitch!" He spits at it, his shoulder twitching horribly. His left arm is covered in blood. Adrenaline has him ignoring it though. He swipes at the dog's legs instead and feels immense satisfaction as it slices clean through the limb. It's down one leg and Billy feels proud of himself. The thing tries to get up but he brings his blade down on its neck and chops hard. It screams as it cuts deep, but not deep enough. Billy hacks again and finally the thing's head comes clean off. 

Jesus, that shouldn't have felt as good as it had! 

Behind him there is another guttural roar and he has about one second to realize that Jane's out, severely weakened and on her knees as one more demodog advances predatorily on her. He flares and lunges at it without thinking. Hell no! They both crash to the hard forest floor, Billy straddling the hideous thing. It scrapes talon-like claws at his face and catches his cheeks and neck. He brings the machete down in the center of its face and slices. The thing screams and suddenly has enough energy to buck Billy off of it. He falls on his back, hard, the fucking blade flying out of his grip. 

"Fuck! Shit!" He gasps out punching the thing again. It goes for his bloody arm and he almost pisses himself. The fucking thing wants to rip out his arm! His eyes grow wider and wider as it snaps its face again, like a shark. He's going to fucking die by the funniest monster he's ever laid his eyes on. He cackles wildly at it, punching it again, using his God-given power of beating the crap out of things.... and people. He allows himself to think about Steve and it fuels him. But it only works for a while until he hears a sickening snap and pain explodes in his wrist. 

His screams sound like a battle cry as he takes a deep breath and kicks out. The thing is hurt but it's clearly fuelled by the smell of his blood. Suddenly it shrieks and jerks its head back sharply. Billy frowns hard as it does it again. He turns and sees Lucas standing there like some kind of superhero, a fucking slingshot in his hands. Dustin and Will are next to him, passing more rocks to the boy. Lucas hits his mark dead on and the thing screeches at them. 

"Now Max!" They scream, scampering back to the car. 

Billy frowns, gasping hard as he hears the rumbling and revving of his engine. Then, like a freaking Jabberwocky, the blue Camaro comes speeding hard and fast into the forest, thick branches cracking his windshield as Max floors the gas pedal, slamming into the demodog. It screeches loud before being flung into the air and splatting in a twitching heap on the forest floor. Billy quickly scrambles to his feet and using his good hand, he picks up the machete and slices the thing's head off. 

"Woah!" Dustin marvels at the sight.

"Shit." Lucas whispers kind of in awe.

"So cool!" Will grins, keeping his distance from the murky creatures.

"Holy shit that was awesome!" Max cheers from the driver's seat.

Billy really wants to kill her. 

He feels a small poke in his side and he turns to see Jane, who's bleeding from her nose. 

"Shit! You okay kid?" He asks as gently as he can, dropping to his knees to check her face. 

She shakes her head, looking exhausted. Mike is out of the car and at her side in a flash.

"What's wrong?" He frowns deeply at her.

"You're hurt." She states, her sad brown eyes on Billy. 

"I'm good kid." He chuckles nervously, not used to this...care. Nobody gave a shit when he was hurt. No one except Steve... and then Max... and now Jane and the rest of the nerds.

All of them gather around him, looking at his mangled wrist. He groans in pain as the adrenaline starts to seep from his body. His hand’s a bloody fucking mess and he wants to throw up at the scent of dead demodogs all around them. Dustin's poking at the dozens of tiny teeth marks on his shoulder, all filled with blood. 

"Hey- stop that!" He swats at the boy with his good hand and picks up his machete. 

"C'mon, let's go." 

"Wait, shouldn't we wait to see if there are more?" Dustin asks, looking down excitedly at all the decapitated alien corpses around them.

Lucas rolls his eyes, hand still firm on that slingshot.

Billy shakes his head. "Do I look like I can go another round with those things?"

The curly haired boy shrugs, a cheeky smile on his face. Jane shakes her head, half amused, half scared. 

"I'm sure there aren’t any more. Let’s go." Billy reiterates more firmly.

They all follow him like little ducklings back to where Max has left the car, her eyes wide with fright as she sees Billy's condition. 

"Oh no- Billy!" 

He pats her on the head, brushing off her concern. 

"It's cool kid, m'fine." He says, sighing tiredly at his cracked windshield. "You should be more worried about what I'm gonna do to you for wrecking my goddamn car." 

Max grins brilliantly at him as the other kids fill into the back seat. 

"Billy's arm almost got ripped out of its socket!" Lucas tells her excitedly. 

"And he chopped off the demodogs' head like, clean off!" Dustin joins in. 

"And he punched it in its face!" Will cheers, pumping his fist in the air.

Max beams at them all, grinning wide. Like she's proud or something. Billy feels the heat in his cheeks rise and he tries to be an asshole again. It doesn't work. 

"Hey, shut your traps alright!"

They go silent.

"I didn't just decapitate three of them, I karate kicked the shit outta them." He boasts with a smug grin on his face. They're all back to huge smirks and smiles now and Billy kind of likes it. They practically worship him now. And suddenly he gets why Steve likes them so much. They're a family, like Lucas said. Billy's not fool enough to think that they consider him family... after his history with them, but, the camaraderie and relationship they share with each other is admirable. Beautiful, even. 

"Hey Lucas," he hears himself say. 

They all go silent. It's only awkward for a minute until Lucas replies, "Yeah?"

"You really saved my ass out there, man. I owe you." 

Max is blushing like crazy when she hears what Billy just said and she grins at him. Lucas raises a brow at Dustin but doesn't take the moment for granted nor does he make light of it. He knows that probably took a lot of guts for Billy to say. It's a step in the right direction towards building a relationship between Billy and himself. His father had always taught him to forgive and while he still held miniscule reservations, he nods firmly at Billy in the rear-view mirror.

The soft chatter starts back up again while Billy tries to assess the damages to his shoulder. The thing is still oozing blood and he feels slightly lightheaded. His arms feel weird and he tries to pull off his jean jacket but it hurts too much to do so. Plus he can feel the blood congealing and it feels disgusting. A live crackle comes from Mike's walkie.

"Go! Go! Get out of here! Head back to the cabin, pronto Hargrove!"

Hopper's voice is breaking up and sounds scratchy but Billy hears him just fine. Right at that moment, they all see Jonathan's green Ford zooming past them like a bat out of hell. 

Billy stomps on the gas, following them full throttle, bad hand and all- and all he can think of is Steve Harrington.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a PSA: If you don't enjoy bottom!Steve, or submissive Steve, you are fully welcomed to NOT read this fic. I've recently seen a lot of people complaining that they hate bottomSteve and that he's taller than Billy and whatever. I don't really see what the big deal is. This OTP is literally now "taking flight", if you will, and people are already complaining that it should be bottomBilly and what not. I'm a pretty chill person but that kinda shit is discouraging. Please if you're not a fan of bottomSteve, feel free to click out. P.S: Almost all the fics I've read are with a very submissive Steve. And I like them. Why does it have to be one or the other? Can't people just write what they like? Sigh. Sam_Haine


	14. Every Breath You Take, Every Move You Make… I’ll Be Watching You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hawkins becomes darker than ever. It's inhabitants are just the dark details.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another chapo, enjoy.

Every Breath You Take, Every Move You Make… I’ll Be Watching You

 

"What's your name?" 

"St... Steve Harrington." 

The bitch slap he receives sends his face sharply to the right, his head reeling from the pain.

"What. Is. Your name boy?!" 

He spits the warm, copper blood from his mouth, his tongue stinging as his teeth cut into it. 

"Steve-"

Another slap has his ears ringing hard, his cheek twitching from the impact. 

"Your name is Four. Say it!"

He's dazed and dizzy; completely out of it. His mind’s buzzing and his brain is fried. He lacks the capacity for coherent thought and his body still hurts from all the cuts and burns and bruises he's accumulated. The voice in his head kept screaming Steve and he knew deep down that that's who he was. Steve Harrington. Not Four! The man in front of him is a doctor. Or so he says. His name is Helbig; Tom Helbig. He's wearing a white lab coat and he's got a crazy look in his coal black eyes. Steve shrinks back, whimpering as the man looms over him like some kind of big, threatening monster, both hands on either side of the chair he's strapped to. 

"Say it boy." Helbig growls, the sound vibrating in Steve's head. He shakes his head, blinking the floating feeling that makes his brain feel like cotton. No! He...his name was Steve! Wasn't it? He felt a sharp, stabbing pain in his stomach and gasps out like he's been punched in the gut.

"Ss- Steve. Mm- my name is St-" He chokes out as blood runs down his lips.

The man- Tom... Helbig.... the doctor- Steve has to keep reminding himself- doesn't hit him this time. Just sighs like he's tired of going round in circles and pushes away from Steve, standing straight to look down at him with emotionless eyes. 

"Okay, Four. You're playing tough. I get that." He says with an eerie finality in his voice. Helbig walks away from him for a moment and Steve takes the moment to regroup and gather some sense of awareness. His swollen and sore eyes look around the room, taking in his surroundings. It's bright white, with silver chrome walls and white bulbs etched into the ceiling. The room is bare of any type of personalization that could've given away any useful information. It's just devoid of any unnecessary items like paintings or decor and only maintains the relevant glass desk, chairs and grey file cabinets. He frowns, where the hell was he?

When Helbig comes back, he's got a platter of food in his hands. Steve's stomach almost jumps at the smell of fresh vegetables and grilled meat. His mouth starts to water at the sight of it and his belly gurgles excitedly. Traitor, he thinks as Helbig places the platter in front of his face, close enough for him to breathe it all in, but far enough that he can't reach it. It's cruel. And Steve swallows hard, his mind dissolving into one simple order: "Eat!" He swallows desperately again and his big brown eyes flicks longingly to meet Helbig's sneering face.

"Ahh, you haven't eaten in days, correct?" The man taunts but his voice sounds... sympathetic. 

Steve nods his head earnestly, licking his cracked lips. He almost wails in despair when the man pulls the platter just out of his reach. What a wicked game he plays. 

"Oh, I'll let you have it. You just have to tell me your name." Helbig informs him, a brilliant grin on his hard face. 

"Please...uhmm, ...please, hungry." His words come out choppy and incoherent and all he really cares about is getting fed. Satisfying that dying pang in his belly is the top priority- the only priority. He sounds pitiful and whiny to his own ears and he doesn't even care. 

Helbig chuckles picking up a piece of carrot from the platter. He holds it tauntingly to the boy's lips but before Steve can bite into it, Helbig pops it into his own mouth, chewing indulgently. Steve whimpers softly. 

"No... please." 

"Just tell me what your name is sweetheart." Helbig coaxes, stroking a hand through the mutilated brunette locks of the trembling boy. It was easy to break then; Steve didn't even think about it before he said, "Four." -practically purring under the man's gentle touch. His lips closed around the man's fingers, biting down on the piece of grilled meat he held. Steve closed his eyes reverently as the savoury flavour burst over his taste buds. His stomach vibrated with excitement. 

"More?" Helbig asked, his voice sickeningly sweet as Steve looked up at him expectantly. Almost like a cat would, if it was being fed treats. That kind of power he held over the boy was like nirvana; gave him a heady feeling in his bloodstream. He smiled proudly down at the boy, holding out another piece of vegetable. But then he pulls it away as Steve tries to eat it.

"Uh uh. Tell me what your name is first, darling." He taunts, heart racing at the desperate, needy whine the boy makes.

"Four." He sobs prettily, those huge, dark eyes welling up with unshed tears.

"My name is Four." 

Helbig's grin is an evil one. The first step is complete.

...........

Tensions are at an all-time high in the cabin. The kids are all shaking and talking in hurried whispers and animated faces. Nancy's practically vibrating with wide, scared eyes as she fusses over Jonathan who's sporting a bleeding gash across his right cheek. Joyce is fretting over Will while Hopper growls at Owens anxiously, holding Jane in his arms as she sleeps. Billy feels bad. She was his responsibility and he'd failed to keep her safe. He's panting fast like a dog as he leans against the door. His left shoulder is smarting painfully and he can feel the blood dripping down his arm, soaking sticky into his jacket. His wrist is hopeless and he struggles to get the thing off him. 

"Here, let me." A soft voice suddenly says. 

Billy looks up and sees Joyce Byers staring at him with a grim smile on her face. He glares at her but complies, allowing her to take it off of him gingerly. Hopper frowns at them from across the room but looks away when he meets Billy's hard, steely eyes. He was fucking pissed. 

They had all regrouped in the cabin, just like they planned. But without Steve. Billy remembers seeing red when Hopper and Jonathan stared back at him with regretful eyes and hopeless faces. He'd wanted to punch them like he did the demodog then. Almost did but was restrained by a rough shove from the police Chief. He'd rounded on Owens dangerously.

"You said he'd be there!" He snarled then, charging at the man who had this stupid look of shock on his face.

"Hey, calm down kid!" Hopper had yelled at him, his large hands gripping Billy by his good shoulder. 

"You were supposed to bring him back! I told you I could've done it!" 

He remembers feeling hot tears spring into his eyes as he screams and pushes against the man. They don't fall. He was slowly drowning now; every moment without Steve, punishing. Torture.

"We were ambushed! They knew we were coming! They set us up! The lab's not even there!" 

Billy doesn't recall what happened after that, but he just remembers punching Owens hard and busting the man's nose. Hopper grabbed him then and had him shoved up against the wall; an all too familiar feeling for him. He'd wanted to leave the room to get some space but he couldn't. The scent of his blood could call some unwanted attention from more demodogs. Billy almost wished they'd come. With the way he's feeling, a few kills could make him feel a little better. He grunts harshly as Joyce accidentally jolts the wounds on his shoulder. 

"Sorry." She murmurs apologetically, opening a first aid kit Hopper had supplied them with. 

"I'm fine." He growls impatiently, as he settles on the floor so she could access his injuries better. She's kneeling next to him now, shaking her head as she soaks a large piece of cotton in peroxide.

"Not that. I meant sorry... about Steve." Is her soft, careful reply.

He winces as the harsh chemical burns into his wounds. It stings like a bitch but he's too angry, too wired and too scared to care. He just wanted to cry- felt like the biggest coward in all of Hawkins. The demodogs didn't even scare him one bit but when Hopper had slammed him against the wall, all Billy remembers was feeling like a dumb kid again, scared out of his mind. He's positive Hopper had seen the real, unmasked fear in his eyes during their intense stare-down. A tear slips down his face as he thinks about it. If Joyce sees it, she doesn't call him out on it. Just keeps banning him up with clean, white bandages.

"I remember how crazy I was when Will went missing. Even Jonathan had gotten weary of me. And everyone thought I was crazy." She tells him, her tone light but not careless. He figures she understands the gravity of the situation. Doesn't say a damn thing though.

"Steve's out there. I'm not going to tell you that he's fine, because he's probably not. But I will tell you that we are going to do everything to get him back. I promise you Billy." She says and the sincerity in her voice has him frowning at her with sad eyes. His tears flow freely then and he's grateful she's kneeling in front of him so that no one can see him cry. He's been holding back his emotions ever since he'd found out that Steve had been taken. Now all he feels is abject sadness. It's when he realizes that he truly misses Steve Harrington. 

His voice, so fucking soft it could put him to sleep in seconds. He misses his brown, doe-eyes and how they shine whenever he rolls them at some shit Billy said. Misses those fucking lips that had worshipped him that night in the backseat of his car. He misses running his fingers through that beautiful brunette mess Harrington calls his hair. He misses their little talks, especially back at the hospital when they'd just sit there and talk about everything and nothing at the same time. He wants to see Steve now. He wants to touch him and feel him and press bruising kisses all over his skin. He just wants Steve.

"And by the way, thanks for clocking Owens. He's had it coming for a long time." Joyce says out of the blue, a tiny teasing tone in her voice as she smirks up at him. She'd wanted to do the same thing when the man couldn't tell her what was going on with her boy.

Billy coughs out a quiet laugh and wipes his face quickly. He doesn't feel bad about punching Owens. How the hell could he not know he was being spied on? Walking around with a wire-tap in his fucking shoe all this time? Did he really only have one fucking pair of shoes?

"We need to get his wrist checked out." Joyce turns, informing Hopper. The man nods, still not looking at him. He carries Jane to her room and then closes the door. Billy lowers his head in shame. Now that, he feels bad about. He was supposed to keep her safe and he didn't. He's sure Hopper would want an apology and a damn sincere one too.

"I'll take him to the hospital." The Chief states blankly, handing Nancy a shotgun, nodding at her. She nods back, gripping the weapon tight in her hands. 

"The rest of you stay here. Keep an eye out for danger and do not, leave the house." 

He squeezes Joyce's shoulder like it's something he has to do and Billy thinks that he maybe likes her. 

"Come on kid." He says roughly to him and Billy follows quietly, his jaw set hard. 

................

Every bite of food Steve's taken has come with the condition that he has to say his name is Four. He eats until he's considerably satisfied and Helbig has decided that he's had enough. By the time he's done, all he can think about is 'Four' and the fact that his stomach has stopped rumbling painfully. He doesn't feel so weak anymore. But that doesn't mean he doesn't still feel sick. His skin is still burning with an abnormal heat and his head feels cloudy. He sighs tiredly as he's laid out on a hospital bed. Helbig is arduously consulting a brown file to his side and the other white coats fuss over him. He sees the needles and whimpers warily. 

Helbig turns around at the sound.

"Four, what's the matter?" His voice is kind and careful, again selling Steve the idea that he actually cared. Steve's not in a position to think otherwise. He looks at the man with huge, frightened eyes, sweat soaking his hair damp and making his skin glisten. He looks breathtaking. The boy whimpers again, eyes following the needles in the white coat's hand. Helbig smiles at him, amused.

"Oh, it's okay darling." He reassures, putting down his folder to take off the boy's hospital gown. Four's hands go up to stop him and Helbig grips them tight, fingers digging harshly into the burn marks in his skin. He whines.

"I've been extremely generous to keep you unchained for this second part of the tests. I don't think you want them to strap you down again, do you?" He threatens darkly, the smile still on his face. 

Four shakes his head quickly, obediently. He mutters out a soft, "No." 

He lets the frail wrists go and continues undressing the trembling body. His eyes rake appreciatively over the naked beauty under him and his grin widens. Such a perfect test subject. Another white coat comes up to them, barely giving Four a second glance. She's got a notepad and a pen in her hands. 

Helbig's firm hands start crawling all over his body, assessing each burn mark, bruise and wound on his skin. 

"For the chest, we have a total of three burns, and one bruise on the collarbone."

The woman starts writing fast, her pen scribbling and scratching annoyingly loud on the paper. Much too loud to Four's ears. He winces as Helbig's hands press into some of his bruises.

"A total of six burns on the arms and four minor lacerations." 

Helbig runs his hands across the subject's tender stomach and notes the larger, more severe burn marks. The woman takes note of it. They do the same for his legs, between his thighs and his back before ending the evaluation. The woman is gone and another white coat replaces her at Helbig's side. He hands the doctor a needle. Four shies away a little, an unwarranted moan escaping his lips.

"Now, Four. I told you, it won't hurt. You'll be just fine." Helbig reassures, a believable smile on his face. 

The boy shivers, shaking his head, frowning hard at the big needle filled with a clear liquid. "What's in that?" He chokes out, gasping as he's pushed back down onto the bed. 

Helbig shakes his head, chuckling.

"This? This is arsenic." 

The boy's eyes grow impossibly large and he swallows hard. "No." He whines, sitting up again. Helbig nods at the white coats behind him and they immediately start strapping him to the bed. He screams out harder now.

"No! It'll kill me!" He shrieks, wincing in pain as they roughly fasten the bindings around his wrists and ankles. 

"Please no! Don't do this!" 

Helbig looks cynical as he squirts a little of the liquid out of the needle first, his grin a wide thing splitting his face. Four screams and bucks wildly against the restraints and he's a bit in shock at the strength he suddenly manifests. He's still trapped though, all his efforts futile.

"I told you that the DEM serum had a number of limitations." Helbig explains. 

"Arsenic was one of them. Isolated tests on animals have more or less proven that it's ineffective against a larger dose of the DEM. So, now were going to actually try it on the test subject. You." 

"Please!" 

Four cries out as the needle pierces the skin in the crook of his elbow. The effect is instantaneous. The pale body begins to convulse on the bed, hands pulling and flailing against their bonds. His back arches off the bed as he howls in pain. Four can't even think as the poison burns through his stomach, corroding his insides. He starts to choke and cough like he's drowning. The other white coats are furiously writing in their notepads. Thick, dark blood gurgles out of his mouth and it's not from a bitten tongue. Helbig knows it's from the toxic arsenic which had probably burned its way through his oesophagus, down his trachea and his stomach walls. With the other poisons, TS-3 had taken two to three hours to recover. He wonders how long Four will take. A part of him is fearful that the boy will die, but a much larger, hopeful part of him knows it's going to be a success. 

Two Staties suddenly burst into the room, approaching him. He frowns at them hard.

"I do not like to be interrupted during my experiments." He says crossly. 

"You boys know that." 

One of them nods curtly, not even ruffled in the slightest.

"The Boss is here. He wants to see you." 

..............

The silence in Hopper's Chevy K5 sheriff cruiser is deafening; and Billy's slowly suffocating in it. He's shaking and he doesn't know why but it definitely has something to do with Neil. The Chief is silent... an angry silent, just like his father was before a serious beating and Billy knows that even if he deserves it for punching Owens' lights out, he doesn't think he can take it at the moment. He's injured and his wrist is swollen and dark purple. The scratches on his jaw and neck are deep grooves in his skin and they hurt, still oozing blood. He's not ready to take the hard blows that Hopper is capable of. So what does he do? The next best thing that his dear old man taught him. Apologize. 

"I'm sorry." He mutters weakly, his head bent low, not making eye contact. That would be suicide. 

Hopper, who looks like he's been fighting with his own demons glances over at him unquestioningly. He has a deep, thoughtful frown on his face, his thick beard and mustache making him look even more serious. Billy can't seem to stop shaking. He can feel Hopper's wolf blue eyes on him and it makes his skin crawl with fear. 

"Sorry for what?" The man asks innocently but Billy knows that game all too well. That's what Neil does when he feels like playing before laying into Billy. Like he wants Billy to admit his screw ups. So he'd know exactly why he deserved the beating. 

"F...for going after Owens...and- and for Jane." He mumbles, his eyes stinging. He fucking hates crying. Feels like he's done enough for the fucking day. The cool breeze that blows past him through the window makes the wetness on his face feel icy against his heated face. He wipes at his face with his one good hand. The cruiser abruptly stops as Hopper steps not so gently on the brakes. Billy jerks forward by Hopper holds out a hand to stop him from cracking his face on the dash. He flinches hard and quickly presses up against the door. 

Hopper startles at that and frowns hard, his two hands up in the air.

"Woah. Easy there." The man says, the roughness weak in his quiet voice. 

Billy looks away, the wetness coming and going, dripping down his face. His blonde curls block most of it but Hopper hears the meek sniffling anyway. The Chief cuts off the engine.

"Billy, ... -Hargrove, look at me." He orders gently. But Billy just shakes his head, ashamed. He cradles his injured wrist in his lap and tries to stave off the heavy, nervous breaths he's taking to calm himself but it doesn't work. 

"Hey, look at me kid." Hopper says again and Billy swallows at the gentle, kind tone in the man's voice.

No. It's all a trick. 

He keeps his head bent, rocking slightly. He bites his lip hard as the older man shuffles around in his seat. A soft yellow light suddenly clicks on inside the vehicle and Billy shies away from it. He expects the man's fist to come cracking across his face anytime now.

"What do you think I'm gonna do Billy?" He hears instead and he frowns at the tone. It sounds like Hopper's talking to Jane. Like he cares or something. Like he's talking to a child. Billy growls.

"You're gonna hit me right? Don't beat around the bush, just do it." He finally says and his tone is harsh but his voice trembles. He misses the slightly horrified look Hopper sends his way. 

"Jesus no, I'm not gonna hit you. What the hell makes you think that?" 

Billy laughs outright but it doesn't sound happy. Just bitter. 

"I deserve it. I let Jane get hurt and then the whole thing with Owens." He grounds out, finally looking up to meet the other man's eyes. They're wide with uncertainty and something else. 

"Look you don't have to pretend to be shocked or whatever, just frickin punch me and get over it." He scathes at the man. 

Understanding creases the frown into Hopper's face and suddenly his eyes flash with anger. It's not like he's completely ignorant, he's heard the rumours about the ex-marine Neil Hargrove. How there are screams and sounds of people shouting at the top of their lungs at each other in the Hargrove house. About how Billy, Neil's son, always sports fresh bruises and a busted lip on the weekly. Hopper had even heard about Billy having to go to the hospital because of some school fight. He wonders now if that was all it was. It seems pretty far-fetched to blame the kid's father for his behaviour back at the cabin with Owens but this scared little.... child he sees here in front of him now? That's all Neil. And it makes Hopper furious.

"Billy, you listen to me, hey, look at me." He says softly to the shaking teen, staring him down until Billy finally looks up. The look on his face crushes Hopper's heart and he instantly feels like an asshole for the altercation back at the cabin. He shouldn't have shoved the kid into the goddamn wall. 

"You do not deserve any of that. And I'm not gonna punch you or hit you, do you hear me? Jane was not your responsibility, she’s mine. And what happened to her was not your fault. I'm the one who should be apologizing. I shouldn't have pressed you like that and I'm sorry." He tells the kid and he crumbles a bit more at how confused Billy looks. Like he doesn't understand why he's not getting beat up right now. 

"Hey," He mutters, reaching out a hand and gripping the kid's good hand. Billy flinches but doesn't move. He's too scared. 

"Breathe. In, out. In and out. It's okay Billy." 

He doesn't know what he says but suddenly Billy loses it and starts sobbing. It's not loud, but it isn't quiet either. He's just making hitched little whimpers and sniffles as if he's afraid of crying too loudly. Like he'd be punished for it. Hopper doesn't want to think about what makes Billy cry so hard but he knows once this hunt for Steve is over, he'll have a big fucking bone to pick with Neil Hargrove and he knows it isn't going to end well for the other man.

"It's okay." He hears himself murmur and he's surprised by how gentle and cautious he sounds; like he's talking to his daughter. He doesn't even talk to Jane that way. He pulls Billy into his arms firmly, mindful of the kid's injured shoulder. And he doesn't frown at how the boy just crashes into him desperately, sobbing on his chest. Billy's been holding on to those feelings for a damn long time, he thinks, blinking away his own tears. 

 

The kid reminds him of his younger self.

 

..................

"Sir, I didn't know you'd be back so soon." Helbig greets as he enters the dark room. The man is standing across from him, his black profile the only thing visible in the darkness. 

"Yes well, something urgent has come up." The man says simply, his harsh tone revealing his anxiety. 

"I've located Eleven."

Helbig almost gasps in shock, choosing to cross his arms instead.

"Where is she?" He demands excitedly.

"She's with Jim Hopper." The Boss says without missing a beat. 

"We followed Owens earlier and he led us straight to her. A cabin in the woods. Owens did exactly what we'd hoped; he went to Centennary looking for this place." 

"Are the others helping Hopper hide her too?" Helbig questions. 

"Yes. Those little degenerate kids are back, along with the Wheeler girl who cracked open the whole lab." 

"What about the Byers?" He asks curiously.

"Well you know them; the whole Byers bunch is always in the middle of anything weird going on in Hawkins. They're looking for Harrington's boy, Steven." 

Helbig perks up at that.

"Tell me you've reached somewhere with him?" 

He nods fervently. "We are currently running the second phase of the tests sir. He's just been given the arsenic. I can take... pictures of the body right now if you wish to see how he's responding to the tests." 

His suggestion comes out cautiously, like he doesn't want to provoke the man or displease him in any way. The Boss had never once revealed his true identity ever since he took charge of the DEM operation. He'd always chosen to remain an obscure and elusive personality pulling the strings in the background whilst simultaneously shaking things up in the open. Helbig never questioned it. 

"No, Tom. Time is of the essence and Hopper and his team of miscreants are hot on our heels whether they know about this place or not." The man states matter of factly, his voice betraying how urgent their situation was. Helbig can feel his body tense with excitement. He quickly takes a step back as the man steps forward, the clocking of his heels echoing in the room. 

"Sir-" He chokes out, eyes almost bulging out of his head as the man they called 'Boss' walks into the dim light he'd been avoiding for so long. 

"Oh my God, Martin.." Is all he can splutter out. 

Before him stood Martin Brenner, the man he'd once worked under and the man who literally everyone thought was dead. The demogorgon had taken him out- eaten him alive. How the fuck did he survive? Had it really been Brenner giving him all those orders all this time? Tom feels dizzy for a long minute and he has to shake his head to get his bearings. 

Brenner's naturally white hair is charcoal black now and a bit longer than it used to be. It's scraggly at the ends giving the man a rough and tough look; as if he's been through a war or something. But what's most noticeable is his face- or at least, half of it. One side looks completely normal, if not a bit more creased and worn with worry but at least the skin is still... human looking. The other side however, is totally marred and dark red as if someone had tried to rip open his face. The wound looks as if it's healed but still looks grotesque. Helbig can see the dead skin and claw marks in the thing and it makes the man look as if he's got a red leather mask on half of his face. The red flesh around his right eye is creased like old leather. 

"What- ....what happened to you? Was that the demogorgon?" He squeaks, taking another cautious step back.

Brenner grins sadistically and touches two fingers to his face. He closes his eyes as if he revels in the feeling. 

"Yes it was. The thing crashed on top of me and slashed my face in half but then it smelled the girl and went after her and those boys. It would've eaten me I'm sure but it let me get away. That's when I made my escape. I left Hawkins for a while until I heard about your new experiments and the possibility of the DEM serum actually working. So I communicated with my government contact at Hawkins hospital and they told me about you. They told me how you never stopped experimenting even after I was gone."

Helbig could only gape while the man talked.

"I admire that about you Tom. You've made me proud. This, whole system and facility you've been set up with here has been thanks to me. I gave up your ideas and plans to the CIA and they approved us for funding. They think that with DEM, Steven can be extremely useful to the military, especially now with Russia and Cuba agitating tensions. America needs a Terminator. An unstoppable force. This experiment is top priority and we cannot have people like Chief Jim Hopper and his people interfering in it. If it fails, the federal government will really cut us off for good."

Tom listens to all that the man has to say and finds himself puffing up with pride as the seconds tick by. DEM will be a success. The process was almost completed anyway. The grin he sends Brenner is an evil and lustful one and it widens even more when the man matches it.

"Follow me Sir, he's right this way." 

Steve Harrington wasn't going anywhere, anytime soon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Really amazed by your love and support. I didn't mean to go off on THAT whole issue but it just needed to be addressed. It wasn't aimed at specific people, just in general. I saw a whole argument on iG and that's sort of what got me vocal about the whole thing. But time to move on :) I really love this storyline and I don't plan on stopping anytime soon. BTW, I've got some Hopper/Steve/Billy stuff in my head..... *snickers*


	15. Going Down In Flames

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Billy's hunches are usually correct. Steve's living in his head. Four is like the evil older brother he's never had.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another el chapo por ti! Lol idk what the hell i just said but, yeah, enjoy!

Going Down In Flames

Billy winces as the doctor checks out his badly swollen wrist. The thing is blue-black now and hasn't stopped throbbing or hurting in the past four hours. It feels as if there are shards of broken glass inside his hand and Billy doesn't think the painkillers the nurses gave him are working. A large but warm hand squeezes his shoulder reassuringly as he whimpers at a particularly rough handling at the hands of the careless doctor. Hopper's right by his side, like the father he never asked for but was lucky to get anyway. 

"Hey, easy asshole. It's broken." The Chief growls at the man who blanches at the harsh look Hopper sends him. 

"My apologies." The man says begrudgingly, gently placing Billy's right hand back in his lap. He's been fixing Billy with a nasty look ever since they stepped into the ER, eyes raking over the kid's rumpled and bloody clothes. Hopper had very nicely told the man to not ask questions or he'd end up doctoring his own injuries. Billy had chuckled at that.

He picks up the black plastic sheets on the table next to the bed.

"The x-rays show that the distal radius fracture is in fact an intra-articular fracture, which means that the fracture extends into the wrist joint." 

Hopper simply holds the man in his intimidating glare and dares him to go on, a protective hand still on Billy's shoulder. The doctor scrambles to continue nervously. 

"Um, the broken bone is in a good position however, and a plaster cast can be applied until the bone heals."

"How long would it take to heal?" Billy demands, thinking of how much time's already been wasted on him and not Steve. 

"Usually injuries like this are healed up within three to six weeks. It really depends on how much physical activity you put yourself through during the healing period. Which is why we typically insist that you refrain from vigorous activities for at least four weeks." 

Billy sighs frustratedly but he finds himself calming down as Hopper pats him softly on the shoulder. 

"It'll be okay kid." The Chief says and Billy's blushing, still not used to the caring tone in the man's voice. 

"I'll have the orthopedist start preparations for a short arm cast for you. In the meantime, a nurse will come sometime soon to up your morphine dosage. I'm sure what we gave you when you came in has already started to wear off." 

Billy nods as the man leaves, giving Hopper a cautious look before practically rushing out the door. He smirks slightly at that. The Chief let's out a huge yawn after the door closes and takes up residence on the chair next to Billy's bed. He's rubbing his eyes tiredly, his shale brown, beaver felt and weather refined hat clutched loosely in his hand.

"We need to find Steve." Billy says quietly, cautiously. He isn't looking at the Chief but his voice is surprisingly hard and sure. Hopper could respect that.

"I know, but first, we gotta get you all fixed up. Won't be much use to the effort with a mangled wrist." The man replies, nodding his head. 

There's a long expanse of silence between them for a moment, Billy sitting up restlessly in the bed while Hopper leans back on the hard fricking chair, lax. He's tired and hasn't had a good smoke in what feels like forever. He hopes Joyce and the kids are safe back at the house and he really wants to be back there but there was no way in hell he was leaving Billy by himself. Call it over-protectiveness or his fatherly instincts, but Hopper had become extremely fond of the boy in a weird, "we're both assholes and we know it" kind of way. Billy was one of those kids who played tough but were really just kitten soft on the inside. And he'd end anyone who ever tried to lay a hand on the boy again. 

"It's minutes to twelve- shit. Max and I were supposed to be home like five hours ago." Billy suddenly curses and Hopper can hear the underlying fear in his voice. He sits up properly before standing.

"Don't worry kid, I'll handle it." Is all he says, plopping his stupid hat on the boy's mess of princess blonde curls as he excuses himself from the room. 

"Be right back." He mutters to a very amused Billy who peeks shining blue eyes up at him from under the broad rim of the felt hat, a small pout on his lips.

................

 

"Hey. Hey princess, what're you thinkin' about?" 

He frowns at the distant and unfamiliar voice. It sounds as if someone's talking to him but he can't.... can't seem to place where it's coming from. The voice sounds soft and peaceful. He blinks his large eyes a few times, trying to make out something- anything, but it's just too dark. Not just dark. It's pitch black. There's nothing there. He finds himself looking about frantically, his eyes working overtime to find-

"What are you looking for? I'm right here Harrington." 

He gasps again and feels warm arms wrapping him in a soft embrace from behind. The distinctive smell of cigarettes and... something else floods his senses and suddenly he feels at home. It was an unexpected feeling for sure, since he didn't actually have any solid idea of what 'home' was. But he slowly finds himself melting into the feeling. The soft puffs of breath at his neck brings the corners of his lips up and a small chuckle escapes him- sounding weird and out of wack. He doesn't remember what it feels like to smile. Who was this.... this angel bringing him such peace right now?

"Who are you?" He hears himself ask, still smiling ear to ear. They're swaying gently to absolutely no music whatsoever but to him, it feels perfect. 

"What d'you mean? It's me, princess." A deep voice replies, sounding low and smooth like a glowing fireplace on a stormy, winter's night. He shivers.

"Who's me?" 

The voice sighs behind him, the boy resting his forehead against the back of his head. Oddly enough, he finds himself leaning back to rest on the warm body. God, this feels way to perfect to be anything but a dream. For some reason he doesn't feel the need to turn around and see who's standing behind him. Doesn't want to mess up this sequence whatsoever. It's too good.

"I'm sorry." He whispers to the nameless, faceless entity. There's a small chuckle.

"Don't apologize gorgeous. I'm not gonna leave you." The voice reassures quietly. 

He lowers his head a little. 

"I'm scared." 

Strong arms clad in black leathered sleeves come up to wrap around him even tighter and he can't help but tear up over how blissful it all feels. Like he's protected. Like he's finally safe. The surety of the sentiment gives him a heady feeling and he sniffles softly.

"Hey, don't cry. I'm not gonna leave you princess. Remember that. I'm always here. Always. I'll wait forever if I have to. You look so beautiful today." The rumbling voice says sweetly in his ear and he cries even harder. It's all too sobering. He somehow knows- he fucking knows this is all a dream. Or maybe a hallucination but it's fucking with his head in the worst way. 

"Hold on Steve. Hold on for me princess." 

Steve? 

He frowns hard. Why did that name sound so familiar? He tries to turn around but the darkness suddenly has him in a hard grip, unmoving. His own harsh grunts and gasps echo loudly in his ear but he can't seem to break out of the thing's hold. 

Steve...

"Billy?!" He shouts out from out of the blue. He doesn't know why but that name... the sound of it was causing his mind, body and fucking soul to yearn with an unbridled passion that he's not too sure about. The name just feels nostalgic and he can't help but feel safe and protected within it. Who was Billy? He feels as if he should know though and his brain hurts from not being able to remember. On the inside, he's crying in frustration. 

On the outside however...

"Sir he's been like this for over an hour now." The woman in the white lab coat informs Helbig as he sweeps into the room, Brenner following closely behind him like a billowing cape. All the white coats in the room stand there gaping for a while at the sight of the man. They're in shock but Helbig doesn't seem to notice. He's too fixated on the test subject sitting upright on the bed in front of him. The boy's skin is bone white and his eyes are dark and wide as if he's in a daze. The burns that once marred his skin are all gone even though the bruises and lacerations remain. His pale lips are quivering as if he's trying to say something but nothing comes out. Like he's locked inside his own head, with his own morbid thoughts as his only company. 

"Steven Harrington." Brenner murmurs almost reverently. Helbig marvels at the sight, shaking his head.

"TS-4." He says in a hushed tone before shaking his head, breaking himself out of his reverie. He goes over to the woman.

"He hasn't said anything since then?" 

"No sir."

"What was the recovery time from the arsenic?"

"T...thirty minutes sir." She answers, her voice shivering. 

Helbig's brow shoots up into his hairline as he gasps quietly, reading through what they'd recorded. Had the DEM actually worked perfectly on Four? Even Three had needed an entire day to regain consciousness. But then again that had been from the other poisons. He'd died a painful death from the arsenic- the very same arsenic that Four seemed to be flourishing under. His heart beats with excitement as he approaches the mute and stationary boy. 

"Four?" He says, softly, cautiously. 

There is no response. 

He places a careful hand on the boy's bony shoulder and it feels ice-cold to the touch. The skin feels like coarse paper under His fingertips. Four doesn't even blink. Just sits there... catatonic. Brenner frowns curiously. 

"Four, it's me. It's Tom." Helbig says again, hands on the boy's face, turning it to stare methodically into those huge, unblinking eyes. It feels as if he's comandeering a porcelain puppet without the strings. He goes to the boys legs, bending them to see if the jostling will get a reaction. It doesn’t. The bony limbs just simply collapse as he lets them go, pale knees knocking together like a doll. 

"Perhaps he's become braindead." Brenner suggests, the disappointment clear in his tone. Helbig winces.

"A simple poison should not have had that effect." He insists angrily, turning back to glare at the ghost of a human being on the bed. 

"Maybe not, but together with the DEM serum, it's potentially volatile." Brenner states, a light frown on his face. 

Helbig growls, slapping the kid's cheek hard. Four doesn't even bat an eyelash. His pale face just careens to the side, blood tricking from his already cut lip. Brenner grips Helbig's hand warningly.

"Now, now Tom. It's not the child's fault. Perhaps you've missed something. Bridget, set up a brain scan for our little marionette here please." He orders the woman standing next to them. His tone is gentle and kind, almost like he gave a damn about the kid. Helbig shakes his head at him as the man goes to sit next to Four on the bed. He wraps arms around the boy and pulls him into his lap, stroking those dark, brunette locks.

"Ever the Father of your experiments, aren't you Martin?" Helbig scoffs, folding his arms crossly. 

"I usually prefer the term 'papa' but, yes Tom. The idea is to make them comfortable around you. To make them feel like your own flesh and blood. Do not ignore the fact that they are just mindless robots who need direction and order. Their minds are a mess most of the time and so they need love, and care." Brenner practically coos, planting a kiss on the boy's ear. There's still no response but he doesn't seem to mind.

"I apologize if I don't seem to possess such sanguine mannerisms as you sir, but it's mildly frustrating when your expectations are high. I followed all the procedures to a T." Helbig grumbles, frowning hard at how Brenner is talking softly to the boy as if he were a three year old. 

"One thing you should always learn Mr Helbig, is patience. Science waits on no man and neither does evolution but it also does not conform to our 'expectations'. Have patience. Perhaps there is a down period between the test and the revival time."

"I thought you said time was of the essence?" Helbig gripes accusatorily. 

Brenner simply chuckles. 

"Indeed I did, but I refuse to push his limits."

"He's been tortured, beaten and humiliated for over a week now, his limits have already been stretched like bubble gum." Helbig deadpans, unamused.

"Be that as it may, I do not wish to be the one he sees in a bad light as his torturer when he wakes up as an untouchable God." Brenner replies, a hardened edge to his voice. 

"With a single thought he could destroy the whole of Hawkins." 

 

.................

Hopper still hasn't returned and Billy can feel himself becoming seriously restless, dangling his legs childishly over the edge of the bed. He's still wearing the Chief's hat on his head for reasons he's not quite sure of. It feels nice, sue him. His mind is running a mile a minute thinking about nothing and everything at once. Steve, his dad, Max and the kids, Steve. They all play in a constant loop in his head, wavelengths of worry and frustration. Then he'll make himself stop thinking for a while. But that only lasts all of two minutes and then he's back thinking about Steve, his dad, Max and the nerds, Steve. He sighs tiredly.

"Where are you pretty boy?" He whines weakly to the empty room. The silence bounces of the walls and hits him harder than his father ever could. He closed his eyes, remembering the last time he was stuck in this place.

The first night had been tough, cold and lonely. He didn't want stay but Cochrane had insisted. The hospital had been the worst thing to happen to him in a while. At least until Steve had started visiting and then things took a weirdly pleasant turn from there. The brunette would come every day before and after school, bringing stupid paperback novels and fancy dinners for him. They'd talk about school and basketball- Steve always complaining about how his parents forced him to play even though he was more interested in music. Bill would laugh at his petulant whining and call him out on it. Then they'd laugh and change the topic to girls- Billy's specialty. But even that never felt right with the other boy. 

He hears soft laughter from outside his room and looks up to see Cochrane, deep in conversation with a nurse through the blinds. He scoffs fondly remembering the last thing the man had told him before he was discharged. 

'Hope I don't see you in here anytime soon.' 

Billy's frown deepens as he recalls how jumpy and weird Cochrane had been acting. Not everything had been right with his experiences with the man and suddenly Billy was jumping off the bed, ripping the needle out of his arm with a dark look on his face, jaw clenched tight. Cochrane knew something, he realized. Maybe it wasn't about Steve, but he'd been acting way too weird for it to be nothing.

"Hey!" He calls rudely, gripping the man's shoulder tight and forcing him to turn around. The nurse startles but Billy ignores her, icy blue eyes boring holes into Cochrane. The man looks just as shocked.

"B...Billy?" The man stutters but Billy digs his fingers harder into the man's shoulder. 

"You know something. You know anything about a secret lab? What's going on, huh Doc?" He growls menacingly. 

"I..I don't know what you're talking about!" Cochrane panics, his wrinkled hands gripping Billy's wrist. 

"Please kid, get off of me." 

Billy's causing a commotion and he knows it. But he doesn't care. Something fishy was going on with the doctors and the hospital and Brenner and Steve- and Cochrane knew something about it. It was a burning feeling in his gut and he refused to ignore it. 

"Don't make me ask again!" He snarls before a pair of hands is firmly pushing him off of the doctor. He rounds on Hopper with a fierce glare, his breathing heavy and aggressive. 

"Hey, hey knock it off!" The Chief growls, fixing Billy with a confused and pissed off frown. The boy looks pointedly at Cochrane and swallows cautiously. Hopper seems to get the message.

"Alright come on Doc. Let's have a chat." He says, clapping the man insistently on the shoulder. He shoves both Billy and the man into the room and locks the door behind him crossly.

"Jesus kid, I leave you alone for one minute-" He sighs, rubbing at his eyes tiredly.

"Was more like fifteen." Billy mutters petulantly under his breath as he fidgets with the Chief's hat, right where he'd left it on the bed.

Hopper narrows his eyes at him, no real heat behind the look. 

"Can it Hargrove."

"What the hell's going on?!" Cochrane explodes, eyeing the locked door suspiciously. He looks panicky and he's already sweating around the collar of his lab coat. Hopper glances at Billy questioningly, as if to ask the boy the same damn question. One minute he was grabbing something for them to eat and the next some lady was telling him about an aggressive patient in the lobby. He was just as confused as Cochrane but he trusted Billy. So he fixes Cochrane with sharp eyes and signals him to shut up with a finger to his lips. He motions for the man to kick off his shoes.

"Wha-!" 

Hopper eyes him dangerously and he shuts up, complying. 

But Hopper doesn't find any wires in the man's brown orthopaedics. He frowns, eyes catching Cochrane's hospital badge. He quickly grabs it off the man's neck and rips it off of him. 

Ah! The black wiretap is attached to the metal clip of the badge, evidence enough that Cochrane knew far more than he was telling. 

Hopper narrows his eyes at him, crushing the intrusive device under his boot.

"I dunno, why don't you tell me Doc?" 

Cochrane splutters at that and sends Billy a withering stare.

"That's how they knew my every move." The doctor whispered incredulously.

"You were acting weird when I was here last. Why were they tapping you?" Billy demands, blinking at the man. 

"Well I know a lot of things kid." Cochrane snarks and it makes Billy growl.

Hopper takes a threatening step towards the man.

"Try that again; less snark, more answers." 

Cochrane holds up his hands in surrender. 

"Look- okay wait! I don't even know why they'd do that-" 

"A boy is missing. Something tells me that not all you doctors here are just dedicated to healing the sick and dying." Billy finally reveals and his tone is sincere. He stares Cochrane right in the eye.

"You told me that my injuries were bad, and that I'd have to stay in here for a while. Then exactly one day after that you told me I was cleared to go. The funny thing Doc? Is that my chest still hurts like a bitch. So either you tell me what's going on or I do something about it." 

Cochrane sighs in defeat, hanging his head at being found out. He moves his arms from being crossed to place them on his waist. 

"Look, I'm not lying to you when I say that I don't know much. All I know, is that a man was interested in... in you." He answers, nodding in Billy's direction. 

"What man?" Hopper questions, his voice deathly serious.

Cochrane shakes his head.

"Calls himself the Boss, that's all I know."

"Why was he interested in me?" Billy asks curiously.

The old doctor shakes his head, exhausted like he's been holding on to this secret for a long time.

"For an experiment. They didn't tell me much, just that I kept my eye on you. They- ...they were going to kidnap you out of your room and take you back to their lab but..." He tapered off, eyeing them nervously. 

"But what?" 

"But they decided on another candidate. The Harrington boy." 

Billy doesn't hear a word after that. He's there in the room with the two men who are now arguing at the top of their voices, Hopper mostly but all Billy hears is feedback. He was their first target. They'd wanted him first for their experiments. But they took Steve instead. It was supposed to be him. It... It was supposed to be him being treated like an animal in some lab right now. Not Steve. It should've been him. 

"It should've been me." He hears himself say and his voice is an angry kind of quiet. He's fucking livid. 

"What?" 

He sharply turns to Hopper, their blue stares fluctuating in intensity.

"You saying that they were supposed to take me but got Steve instead?" He spits at Cochrane. The man can only trip over his words, backing into the corner of the room as Billy advances on him like a predator. Hopper immediately steps in between them.

"Woah, woah, hey kid, calm down. It's not your fault. You hear me? Billy, look at me!" He growls and Billy finally looks at him, crushed. 

"We're going to get him back. I promised you that. And I never break my promises. But you cannot blame yourself for this." 

The nurse knocking on the door is the only thing that breaks the thickening tension in the room.

...................

He's been in that dark void for a long time now, with nothing but that low, honey smooth voice for company. Sometimes the conversation between them, about him not being alone and whatever, plays on a constant loop. But other times, they have new and vibrant little talks that make him feel warm and fuzzy inside. They talk about a place called Hawkins in Indiana, the bejewelled oceans of California and sometimes they talk about a parallel universe known as the Upside Down. He mostly talks about that place, the voice just listens. It says that it's never been to the Upside Down before and he thinks that's lucky. 

"It's cold and dark... and there are some real terrible monsters that live there. They can be big or relatively small, but most importantly, they can rip you to pieces and eat you alive." 

The voice scoffs, sounding a bit emasculated.

"Sounds lame. I can eat you up in worse ways." It says, with a sexy, sinister snicker. He can feel his cheeks become heated.

"Somehow I don't doubt that." He replies with a smirk. This playful banter is comforting; he doesn't have to be trapped in his head alone. At least for a while. Sometimes the voice comes and goes. He can't control it and his severe depression takes over whenever it becomes silent. He can't stand the silence. Not for too long anyway.

"Don't get cocky with me pretty boy." 

He laughs softly. 

"Stop calling me that." 

"Why? You seem to like it." 

"I constantly keep telling you I don't." 

"Not what your cheeks say when they're blushing so much. And your eyes, God. Those things are a dead giveaway that you like the pet-name." 

The voice is in his ear now, blowing warm puffs of breath on his heated skin. Jesus, the voice was right. He rolled his eyes, hiding his smile.

"Stop." 

"Nope, pretty boy." 

It presses warm kisses to his temple and his ear and his jaw and he can't help but moan softly.

"Feels good." He murmurs, leaning back into the touch. 

The voice is a low rumble now.

"It's supposed to feel good babe." 

He moans again, feeling lips on his neck. It makes him tilt his head right back, exposing the long expanse of his throat and the lips just go insane all over it like a buffet. 

"God, don't stop." He whines, hands now slipping down his chest to hold him around the midsection. It's grounding and makes him feel as if he's falling from cloud 9 at the same time. A fucking trippy feeling but he loves it.

"Mmm, so beautiful." The voice rasps and he can feel the vibration on his Adam's apple. Fucking hell. 

"Don't leave me, please." 

“I-" 

"Four!" 

"What?" 

Suddenly there's a bright white light burning into his retinas and he's awake and the gorgeous voice, lips, hands... they're all gone! 

"No!" He gasps and the light is turned away from him. He's thankful but he's also fucking pissed. The man standing in front of him almost mirrors his shock, mouth agape, defibrillators in hand. He frowns deeply, his forehead down. They took him away! 

"Where am I?" He demands, heavy thick chains on his wrists and ankles. His voice sounds different, deep and scathing. It matches his dark mood he guesses.

"Four, you're awake." The man in front of him exclaims, testing his goddamn patience. He found the man gravely irritating.

"I am. Now unchain me, you disdainful creature." His deep voice scratches, like iron nails on a surface of obsidian.

The man frowns. "I created you Four. You will show me some respect." 

His low chuckle turns into a loud, boisterous laugh. 

"You are my maker are you?"

The man nods, unaware of the power in his presence.

"Then unchain me, please." He says with a mocked tone of respect that only seems to make the man angrier.

"Or I'll do it myself." His tone gets colder and darker by the second.

"You listen to m-" 

"Ah, Four! You are awake." 

Another man enters the room and Four frowns curiously. The man's face is messed up. He feels a weird sort of satisfaction from it.

"Did I do that to you?" He asks innocently, gesturing to the man's face. 

"No, a monster did." He answers simply. Four already likes the man.

"Oh, that's too bad." 

"Uh, Brenner, a word?" The other man says lowly, nodding his head towards the door. Brenner nods at him before leaving and he winks back cheekily at the man. 

The moment the door closes, Helbig goes off.

"He's way too cocky and independent. His mind isn't melded enough." He hisses. Brenner just shrugs as if it's no big deal.

"So that's his upgrade from Jake. He's not a mindless idiot. He can annihilate our enemies with style and attitude." The man jokes darkly, earning a grimace from Helbig.

"I don't think you understand just how dangerous this is."

"Tom you're overreacting." 

"No I'm not! He's, look he doesn't seem right. We've always feared this in science. That the creature we created would be our undoing. He's not anything yet but I'm not taking the chance. I'm pulling the plug on TS-4." 

"How would you even do that? He's un-killable. Unless you're planning to use the kill-code serum on him." Brenner argues.

"That's exactly what I'm going to do. It worked on Jake." Helbig argues.

"Well, we'll keep that in mind as a last resort but I'm not pulling the plug on him just yet." Brenner stubbornly states, his tone becoming aggressive.

"Mart-" 

There's a loud explosion from inside the room and then the door rips open, flying down the hall like a piece of paper. Four is standing there, looking between them, a cynical smile on his face. He looks insane in his white hospital gown, barefeet with a needle sticking out of his arm. The two men gape at him, shocked. He loves the fear in their eyes. 

"Which one of you chained me to that bed?" He questions nonchalantly, as if he's asking in passing interest. His fingers tap quietly against the smooth white walls as he walks along the hallway, Brenner and Helbig backing up against the wall to put some distance between them. 

"F..Four..." Helbig starts but he's cut off by a loud snarl.

"Four is the name you gave to me. Yes, I remember now." 

More of the lab personnel had gathered after hearing the commotion in the hallway. They were all gaping in fear and shock at the animal they'd helped to create. Marvelling at his pale, almost white skin and his dark red eyes. They weren't brown anymore. His face was twisted in an evil and dark way, and even though his body hadn't been modified in any way by the serum and all the poisons, something about the boy just seemed inhuman and unhinged. Footsteps echo in the hall as some doctors and nurses try to run, but Four simply chuckles before reaching out his right hand and clenching his fist. The sickening sound of snapping bones is followed by a sweet cacophony of screams and cries and Four revels in it. They're all dead, necks and spines broken and lying in a fucking river of their own blood on the clean white floor. 

The silence is palpable for a few seconds until an ungodly roar explodes from afar. It reverberates in the hallway and Four closes his eyes, breathing in deep. The smile on his face matches the evil glint in his red eyes as he grins at Helbig and Brenner.

"It's judgement day boys."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay lol just to clarify, the Billy/Steve/Hopper idea is for another fic. I'm thinking all sorts of smutty goodness. But anyway, this fic is strictly Steve/Billy. Hope you guys enjoyed it, cannot wait to watch the GG tomorrow. Peace y'all. Sam_Haine


	16. Way Down We Go

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Operation "Get Harrington Back!" is a GO! Smashing demodogs to little bitty pieces was always a great distraction from reality.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another chapter guys. Enjoy.

Way Down We Go 

 

"It's judgement day boys."

The roars continue to grow louder and louder and in a flash everything goes crazy. Everyone in the hall panicks, looking between Four and the animalistic howls that burst and echo behind them. Four smiles, a menacing thing that makes both Helbig and Brenner shudder in absolute fear. 

"That must be your beast, am I correct?" He hisses excitedly at them.

Helbig swallows but still ends up choking on his stunted words.

"The demodogs.... th..they must have smelled the b..blood!" 

Four chuckles as a barrage of loud bangs and crashes follow the hellish howling and roars. Somewhere in the distance there are more chilling screams and then the sound of a siren. Red warning lights flash overhead and the white ceiling lights begin to flicker. Brenner wastes no time in taking off down the hall. Four turns his head sharply, darkened eyes following the man's retreating back. Then he drops the expression and turns to a shaking Helbig beside him, whose eyes are also on Brenner, widened in shock. Four raises an unimpressed brow.

"Aw, looks like you're on your own for this one huh?" He tsk-tsks in mockery. The man's face crumples as he cowered in fear from the very beast he'd created.

"Four- ...please!" 

But the thing just shakes its head disapprovingly, cornering the man against the wall. He's peaceful as he closes his eyes for a minute, but then he opens them and all Helbig can see is rage. His head is bent low but his blood-red eyes glare up at the dumbstruck doctor. His pale nose is scrunched up in a severe sneer and his lower lip quivers as a low growl rumbles in his chest.

"All the memories I seem to have are of you, Tom." His voice is an unsteady whisper, like a volcano that's been dormant for years but suddenly wants to explode. Helbig's got both hands over his ear now.

"Every time I close my eyes, all I see is you. You're standing over me, with a needle in your hands. I'm begging- pleading but you can't seem to hear me. And when there's a sharp pain in my neck, you smile. There's acid, running through my veins, like molten lava or a never-ending inferno and I'm screaming... begging you to help me. To make it stop." 

Helbig feels his heart slide up into his throat as Four steps closer to him, they're almost nose and nose now. It's disorienting- and scary. He wants to make a dash for it like Brenner did. That coward, he thinks, his eyes reflecting the bitterness he felt inside. But Four didn't notice. No. He was much too busy recounting all the good times.

"It...it was all for you Four. It was all for your benefit. To make you better-" 

"Better?!" This time, his roar is much louder than the demodogs'. His face creases into this ugly white mask and his bloody eyes shine dangerously.

"You made me sick! The hours I've spent in that dark room can never make me better. I went crazy in there! Lost my goddamn mind and began hallucinating! I wanted to kill myself but the chains stopped me from doing it! You starved me for days and then made me say I was someone else-!" He cuts himself off by an ungodly snarl before grabbing the man by the neck and slamming his body into the wall, cracking it. Helbig squirms like a worm on a hook and his eyes widen impossibly as he takes in the monster in front of him. This was not Four... was it?

"Ss... Steve?" He chokes out, blanching when the creature's smile splits apart his bone white face.

"That's right, it's me, Steve." 

Helbig almost faints.

"Bb... but- ...how?" 

Steve grins cynically, not exactly resembling anything remotely human at the moment but suddenly his eyes aren't red anymore. The mere fact sends sub-zero chills up and down Helbig's spine.

"Your tests may have changed me into a monster, but I can still feel his thoughts and his words and his pain, deep inside of me. He's screaming to be heard and I won't let him be silenced. Steve is living inside his own head, but he won't have to much longer. Because I can feel his rage and his anger and his hatred for you and I gotta tell you, it's more potent than any serum you could ever create." 

Bony fingers squeeze tighter around Helbig's throat and the man scrapes and scrabbles wildly at them to loosen their grip. It's useless. Four growls as he lifts the doctor up and flings him carelessly across the hall and he ends up crashing into the bloody puddles of his fellow doctors and nurses on the floor. He cries out in pain as something snaps- the hand he'd landed on and Four's indulgent sneer is back. Helbig scrambles backwards through the thickening blood, his white coat becoming dark red and his shoes splattered with the stuff. Four slowly advances on the retreating man, like a cat toying with its prey.

"Steve wants you to know that you're well and truly fucked. There's no escape and there will be no mercy from me. The boy is angry and I will listen to his anger." 

"Ahh!!!" 

Helbig's tortured screams erupt and echo in the hall, as Four stretches out his arm and clenches his fist. He breaks the man's arms and legs, making sure the jagged bone sticks out of his skin like teeth. Blood oozes from him steadily as he writhes and moans sickeningly on the floor. His mouth gurgles with blood Four smiles as he sees the man's bitten tongue. 

Four raises his other hand to issue the last, damning blow but then pauses, a thoughtful look on his face. The menacing smile on his face just widens frighteningly. 

"Ooh, turns out Steve does have a heart."

Helbig doesn't even respond, much too taken by the agony of his severed bones. 

"He doesn't want to kill you." Four informs the man who finally looks up with a pleading glint in his eye. There's a hopeful look on his face. The look falls exponentially after Four finishes the sentence.

"He wishes to leave you for the dogs. Says they will rip you apart and eat you alive better than I ever can. I will admit my ego is a bit bruised but, ...I think the boy's right." 

His bare feet slowly approach the shattered scoundrel bleeding in a puddle of stranger's blood. He kneels and reaches down, gripping the man's face hard, turning it to look into those tortured eyes. His other hand flicks quickly and there's a crunching sound that explodes from the man's spine. 

"You're paralyzed from the waist down, Tom. That means you'll be able to feel every single bite those dogs take out of you. I'm glad my face is the last one you'll see."

Helbig gapes at him but can't seem to make a sound. He sounds more like he's choking on his own blood. Either way, it's a melodious symphony to Four's ear. He stands back up on his feet, staring down at the man in that villainous way, his eyes blank and emotionless, his jaw set straight.

"You never needed a killing machine like me. Turns out, Steve was all the monster you've ever needed."

............

The minute Hopper and Billy climb back into his Chevy, the radio crackles to life, a panicked voice on the other end of it. He frowns but grabs up the thing fast, pressing down on the button.

"Jesus, what's going on?" 

"Jim! We know where the lab is! Get to the cabin, quickly! We know where the lab is!" 

It's Owens and he's practically shouting at the top of his lungs into the receiver. Billy and Hopper share a hard and anxious glare before the Chief is flooring the gas pedal, taking off towards the woods. 

*

"Woah cool!" 

Dustin, Will, Lucas and Mike all rush up to him to check out his cast. Billy rolls his eyes as they lift it and twist it every which way to check out the underside of the stupid thing. He hates it and can't wait to get it off the minute his wrist heals. Max just approaches him cautiously before hugging him around the middle tight. 

"You scared me, idiot." She mumbles as he carefully pulls his hand away from the nerds, Dustin's eyes looking way too curious and mischievous. Yeah, the kid still scares him. 

Hopper, Joyce and Owens are talking in the kitchen. They'd found the lab; or more like it found them. Jane, while she'd been trying to find Steve again, had seen a large army of demodogs bursting out of another Gate in the very same lab she'd escaped from. Only this was a new lab, built and fortified by the old one and located safely under two sub-basements which were beneath the original basement. Shit, no wonder they hadn't been able to detect it, was his initial thought. But then he realised; they'd found Steve! 

"Okay," Hopper suddenly speaks up. The room goes quiet.

"Joyce, Johnathan, Nancy and I will go." He states, his voice and tone brooking no arguments. Billy grits his teeth but he knows he's not fit for any sort of confrontation. The kids all look at Hopper with frowning faces and then look to Billy expectantly. He sighs.

"It's for your safety and you know it. Hey, what's with the faces? We're holding down the fort here, they're useless without us." He tells them, a slight smirk on his face as their faces start to light up. Dustin scoffs but then shrugs his shoulders like it's nothing. 

"The man's right." 

Hopper squeezes Billy's shoulder gratefully and he nods at the Chief. He knows how precarious the situation is and he wouldn't dare complicate things. They needed to focus all their attention and energy on locating Steve and bringing him back safe and sound. His injured state would only jeopardize any chances of getting Steve back at all. He's not a moron, he's smarter than that; though his heart aches with neediness and desperation to be there for his princess. 

"Stay safe kids, and do what Billy says. Do not go outside." Hopper continues, holding out a shotgun for Billy. He takes it and nods again at the man. Joyce, Jonathan and Nancy are in the back accessorising themselves with whatever weapons they can. Nancy is shoving bullets into his pockets. Jonathan takes up a baseball bat studded with nails and swings it, testing it, Billy guesses. The kids had told him Steve had a similar bat. His chest twinges. 

"I'm coming with you." 

They all turn to see Jane walking out of her room, Mike following close by. Hopper rushes to her and pulls her into a big, warm hug. She hugs him back but pulls away quickly, seeing the look of disapproval on the man's face. 

"No Jane, it's not safe." 

"I can help." She answers defiantly, her little fists clenched tight. There's a determined look in her eyes that Billy identifies with and he knows Hopper is melting under it. The man's a big softie but he's not stupid and knows that if Jane is sure about something, he should probably listen. He lowers his head but then nods slowly.

"Okay. But we stick together, alright?" 

She nods firmly. "Together." 

"Good." Hopper sighs, standing up properly. 

"How're you guys gonna close the Gate?" Lucas questions and everyone pauses. That's a damn good question Billy thinks. But Hopper just shakes his head.

"We'll deal with that later. Right now our top priority is getting the boy back."

"But Jane said she saw the lab. It was swarming with those demodogs. How are you even sure you'll make it out alive?" Dustin chimes in, his eyebrows raised in question. 

"Even though he's been dormant, I can still feel the presence of the Mind Flayer." Will adds quietly but resolutely. Joyce flinches.

"That'll just make it harder to close the gate. Jane, you can't do that all over again. It could kill you." Mike finishes, grabbing her hand tightly. 

Hopper sighs. He should've known that this wouldn't be as easy as he'd thought. Hell, nothing in goddamn Hawkins was ever easy. On top of dealing with demodogs, he wasn't even sure about the state the kid would be in. According to scumbag Cochrane, they'd taken Steve to experiment on him. What would he be like when they found him? Did they run the same tests on him like they did to Jane? And if so, would he have powers like her? Would he even know who they were? Nancy, Jonathan and Joyce? Would he remember them? 

Realizing they're at a stalemate, Billy squares his shoulder and turns to the kids. 

"I have an idea." He says quietly, gathering them in a tight circle. Their eyes are all wide and sparkly with interest. 

"What is it?" Max hisses, as Joyce and Nancy start talking strategy with Hopper. 

"The Chief and the others are gonna need as much help as they can get with those demodogs. They can't fight off all of Brenner's men and whatever else that secret lab has in store for them by themselves."

"So? What d'you suggest we do? We're not exactly the strongest bunch in this party now are we?" Dustin pouts, shooting a glare at Hopper over his shoulder. Billy rolls his eyes, pulling back the kids face back into the circle with his good hand. 

"Hey, focus! We just need to think of a plan to distract the demodogs while they go into the lab to get Steve." 

Lucas and Mike share a look. 

"This is exactly what we did last time." Mike states, an exaggerated shrug of his shoulders making Billy sigh irritatedly. 

"Well it worked didn't it?" He argues.

"Yeah, except there's no hive mind and no nest in the Upside Down to burn. Like Will said, the Mind Flayer hasn't even come out of hiding since El closed the Gate." Lucas answers honestly. Billy begrudgingly welcomes his reality-check. Shit. And it wasn't like they could just take on the demodogs one at a time. Jane had seen an army of those things, how the hell would they combat an army? 

They're stumped for a few minutes until Max speaks up. 

"What about those dogs in the woods?" 

"What?" Mile pipes up curiously.

Max looks at all of them like they're stupid.

"The demodogs that came after us in the woods." She tries again. 

Billy frowns, shrugging along with the other boys. Max rolls her eyes, groaning at them.

"Guys, they obviously didn't walk up the stairs and break open the high voltage gates. They had to have broken through some backdoor or something." She explains grabbing a map of Hawkins they'd been looking at earlier, when they'd thought Steve was that empty forested area. 

"Look, if the sub-basements in the old lab are exactly where we think they are, the only backdoor in this place is exactly where the Chief and Jonathan got ambushed by Brenner's men. We weren't wrong, they just went to the wrong door." 

Billy frowns, nodding his head. 

"Makes sense. We can distract the dogs at the backdoor while Hopper and the rest get Steve and get out." 

"Okay but we're gonna need weapons." Dustin says promptly, eyes glinting excitedly.

"And a whole lot of gasoline and blow torches." Lucas adds. 

"Guys what if we're wrong?" Will shivers quietly. Billy shakes his head, gently patting the boy on the head. He could see the abject fear in the boy's eyes and he knows the story of how he disappeared. And how the Mind Flayer had tortured the kid's existence ever since he got back. 

"We're not. It's gonna be okay kid. I won't let anything happen to you."

Will smiles back at him.

............

Hopper has his shotgun at the ready, Jane, Jonathan and Joyce following stealthily behind him as they descend into the lab's first basements. Thankfully Brenner had kept the lights on for easier access when he came and left the building, otherwise navigating the facility in put darkness would've slowed them down plenty. He can already hear the sharp, shrill cries and shrieks of both monster and man as they enter the new lab. There's a distressing siren going off every two seconds and the dark, red lights going off can only mean one thing. 

"Look out!" Jonathan screams as a demodog comes out of nowhere, knocking him on his side. Jane screams. Hopper grunts harshly and tries to reach for the gun that's been knocked out of his hands. He can't but thankfully Joyce axes the thing's head off. He gasps and blinks at her, dark blood splattered on his face. She smirks almost cheekily and stretches out her hand to help him up.

"I'm okay." He breathes lowly to Jane before retrieving his gun as they continue on their path. 

"Keep closer together, Jane and I will keep and eye ahead. Joyce, Jonathan, bring up the rear." 

"Got it." Jonathan whispers quickly, blue eyes wide and vigilant.

The rooms and hallways they pass are scattered with a mix of dead people and dead demodogs. There is dark, red blood painted everywhere, on the walls, the floors, the ceilings and even on the windows. Joyce grimaces as she steps gingerly past a doctor who's been eaten alive, his chest completely opened up, ribs poking out and his organs gone. She feels her head spin as a flashback of Bob comes to her mind but shakes it off with a little whimper. 

"We know the demodogs have been killing the doctors and the nurses... But what the hell's been killing the dogs?" She wonders aloud, the question carrying with it, a note of deep seeded fear of the unknown. Hopper guesses she's insinuating that there must be some bigger, badder beast in here, strong enough to take out the demodogs. And by the looks of it, it must be damn powerful too because so far, he's seen at least a dozen plus dead demodogs. Anything strong enough to do that much damage, must be dangerous. 

"Maybe it's something Brenner created." Jonathan surmises, swinging his bat into position as a shattering noise erupts from the distance.

They all clench their jaws and follow the sounds, checking every room and utility closet as they go, Steve on all of their minds. He was the first priority and the most important objective at the moment. But if push came to shove and they ended up dealing with the Gate and it's resident monsters first, then so be it. More thrilling screams echo from down the hall and Hopper can feel his hackles rise. A roar follows the screams and then some loud bangs. Demodogs. Jesus, how many of them were there? 

"Dogs." Jane whispers pointing straight ahead. They all freeze as the sound of pounding, clawed feet grows louder and louder. It sounds like the loud rumbling of a heavy thunder and they can all tell; it's bad.

"Is that the army?" Joyce demands, her voice shaking with anticipation. 

Hopper doesn't answer as he looks around the hall wildly, looking for some sort of refuge. They can't fight an army of those things! They wouldn't even stand a chance, Jane or not. It was a fool's fight! He sees a room to his left and quickly motions for them to follow him.

"Come on! Hurry! Get in!" 

They all burst into the room, slamming the door shut behind them. Just then the rumble grows, louder and louder until the sound of pounding feet and earsplitting yowls are right outside the room. Jonathan holds his weapons at the ready just in case, as Hopper and Joyce drag and push a table in front of the rattling door for good measure. The sounds outside are reminiscent of bombs dropping in a war. 

"Oh my God." Joyce gasps softly, her fingers trembling on the axe.

"We'll be fine." Jonathan tries to reassure her, but he sounds just as terrified. 

"Papa." Jane suddenly says and Hopper feels his blood turn to ice. He turns to her and sees her pointing at the corner of the room behind the hospital bed. His eyes flick up sharply and he gapes.

"Brenner." 

The old man is lying on the floor, his back leaned up against the wall, blood covering his face. He looks a mess and half of his right leg's been chewed clean off. He's a doctor though, so that would explain the bloody tourniquet wrapped around his thigh. He's gasping out thin, shallow breaths and his hand is clutched around a small box. His glassy eyes swim for a moment but then focus as he hears his name.

"Jim? Is that you?" He coughs out weakly, as Jane lowers back into Joyce who wraps protective arms around her.

"Live and in colour, Martin. Guess your experiments finally caught up to you huh?" Hopper replies, no remorse or mercy in his voice whatsoever. The man chuckles but it's shallow.

"The irony right? Jane, is that you I see? Or am I just hallucinating?" 

Hopper growls. "Don't talk to her." 

Brenner coughs again. "Jane, don't you miss your papa?" 

Before he can let out another dry chuckle, he's staring down the double barrel of Hopper's shotgun. 

"I mean it." 

Brenner stops laughing then and just gazes at Jane sadly. The man almost looks repentant and sorry. But Hopper knows men like him. They know how to use children's sympathy against them, so even if they were being abused, they would never really leave because they felt too sorry for their abusers. Neil Hargrove was a man like that too. 

"Where's the boy?" Hopper demands darkly, flaring as the man shakes his head. He presses the gun harder into his forehead.

"Harrington, Brenner. Steve Harrington. Where is he?"

Brenner groans as if he's in pain but holds his hands up in surrender.

"Four? Ha, Four is out there wreaking havoc. He's already killed almost everyone in this damn facility. And if he hasn't gotten to them yet, the dogs will." 

"Four?" Joyce echoes.

It's the boy's number. He was test subject number Four. Helbig's idea." Brenner answers and he completely misses the psychotic look Joyce gives him.

"You son of a bitch! That boy has a name and it's Steve Harrington. You hear me?" She snarls, prodding the man's severed leg with her axe. Hopper doesn't even stop her, he's just as pissed.

"Now tell us, where is he?" She yells.

"I told you!" Brenner yells back, spitting blood this time.

"Then tell us again." Hopper grounds out, his boot dangerously close to the man's bloody stump.

"Alright, alright!" 

He takes a minute to cough up blood and something else, catching his breath before speaking again.

"Fo- Steve, was tested and experimented on by doctor Tom Helbig. Okay? Tom had a serum called the 'Deus Ex Machina' that could make whoever took it, all powerful. They would become immune to most types of diseases, poisons and other toxic substances. He gave Steve the serum- and, well, the boy became exactly that. He might be more powerful than you, Jane." 

Jane's eyes hardens as she glares at the man from across the room. Hopper growls and grabs the box out of the man's hands.

"What's this?"

"It's a kill-code serum that's supposed to reverse the effects of the DEM. Once again, Helbig's invention, not mine." 

Hopper immediately shoves the box in his pocket and backs away from Brenner, his gun pointed at the man again.

"Hey that's mine!"

"Where's the Gate?" 

Brenner shakes his head. "It's below this floor, at the end of the hall. But it's bigger than the last Gate. You won't be able to close it." 

"Yeah well, we'll just see about that." 

"Hopper!" Jonathan calls, beckoning the man to the window. 

"What is it?" 

"The dogs- they're- ...they're all going somewhere." 

"Back to the Gate?" Joyce suggests. 

"Something is calling them there." Hopper states, his face drawn into a grim frown. 

 

...............

 

"Did it work?" Mike hisses at Billy from his position behind the trees. Nancy is standing behind him, gun in hand. Hopper had decided that it would be better if she helped Billy watch the kids since he was injured and all that. It had taken her some convincing but finally she'd accepted it and had joined them on their separate adventure- as Dustin had called it.

Billy narrows his eyes at the mess of meat lying at the backdoor of the lab. The mass of raw, bloody chunks soaked in gasoline lead a little way into the forest, just into the trees where they can get coverage and protection against the demodogs. 

"Give it a few seconds... they'll get tired of the dead bodies in there when they smell the fresh meat out here." He whispers back, peering out from behind a broad branch.

"There's more than just a gallon of blood in that lab. How are you so sure they'll even come out?" Nancy challenges, a sharpness to her voice that Billy's sure has nothing to do with the situation they're currently in.

"Guys I hear screams." Dustin gulps quietly, holding his bat at the ready. Billy was certain that this was all terribly insane and that he was definitely putting the kids’ lives in danger. There were too many risks involved and he couldn't keep an eye on them all. But, this had to be done. Or Hopper and the others might as well have been as good as dead. 

"They're getting closer." Will wheezes, shaking a little as he stays close to Lucas behind another tree. 

"Guys get ready." Billy rumbles, cocking the gun in his hand. 

The place goes deathly silent for a minute- before everything just explodes into deafening screams and rowdy howls. 

"Shit!" Dustin shrieks as the demodogs burst out of the metal doors, their petal faces already blood red and dripping. Some of them have pieces of ripped flesh hanging from their jaws, looking like creatures out of an HP Lovecraft novel. 

"Fuck!" Billy hisses as the things start to chomp and tear at the raw meat. There are at least twelve of them, all huge and muscled with thick, sharp claws and powerful jaws. He waits until they've all gathered around the pile before slowly crawling up to them, Zippo lighter in hand. He turns back and signals at Nancy with a quick wave and watches as she starts pouring more gasoline over the occupied monsters. They raise their heads and growl at her and he can see her physically blanching as they start advancing on her.

Billy takes that as his cue as he dashes forward and flicks the lighter open. The bright flame ignites quickly and he wastes no time in throwing it into the mass of scaly bodies. The eruption takes a short second but then it explodes and a giant ball of fire bursts into the sky. The demodogs scream and shriek and scatter, some remaining in the fire but some running directly towards the forest- to the kids.

"Fuck!" Billy yells, grabbing up his fun and shooting at them. He takes out one but there are four more aiming for the trees. He hears gunshots and ducks out of the way. The kids are shooting! Fucking hell! He hears Dustin screaming "shit shit shit!" from a distance and Lucas telling him to shut up. Nancy swiftly takes out the one slowly cornering Dustin and Mike. But the other three are quickly boxing in Lucas and Will. Lucas has a fierce look in his eyes and he's got his shotgun cocked, ready to fire. 

Billy doesn't think about anything when one of the dogs lunges at them. He snarls at it and jumps on its back. The large butcher's knife in his hand slides straight into the demodog's throat, slicing it open. He hears Will scream and looks up to see the other dog attacking Lucas. 

"Lucas!" He screams as he sees the boy crashing under the weight of the beast. The other demodog has chased Will further into the woods. 

"Nancy!" He calls out to Nancy who immediately runs after the boy without asking. He hopes to God she doesn't get killed. Hell, he hopes he doesn't get killed by the frickin demodog that's currently snapping its petal jaws at his neck. Lucas scrambles to his feet and kicks at it. It screeches and rounds on him. Just enough time for Billy to retrieve his knife and slice the thing's throat open. 

He tries his best to keep his mouth closed as blood gushes out of the wound, splattering onto his face. It's warm and sticky and smells horribly fresh. 

"Nancy-" He chokes out, pushing the dead dog off of him and shakily making it to his feet. Lucas nods at the four figures emerging from between the trees and heaves in a huge fucking sigh of relief. They're all safe. 

Relatively. 

Hopper, Jane, Joyce and Jonathan are still in the lab. Steve- is still in the lab!

 

............

Hopper is the first to spot the familiar silhouette standing stock still in front of the huge Gate that looks more like a portal to the underworld with the fiery red glow on the other side of it. Steve is standing there, thin legs barely holding up his body, hands outstretched. The lights flicker and Jonathan gestures towards the brunette but Hopper shakes his head. He makes elaborate hand signals to them trying to convey his message.

'Steve's trying to close the Gate.' 

Both Joyce and Jonathan nod in understanding but Joyce doesn't look too happy about it. Her motherly instinct just makes her want to grab up the kid and take him back home where he'd be safe and sound with friends and family. Hopper feels the same damn urge but he also wants that Gate closed. God knows how much havoc and pain the thing has caused in their small town of Hawkins. And especially the toll it's taken on the kids. 

Brenner had explained what the Deus ex- whatever had done to Steve, so it shouldn't have come as a shock that the kid was using his newfound powers to not only close the Gate but to kill any more demodogs that were trying to get through. But Hopper still gasped in awe as the walls of the Gate began to weave themselves together, much quicker than the time Jane had taken to seal it. The shrieking demodogs didn't stand a chance. In the blink of an eye, the Gate was closed and Steve let out a shuddering gasp of breath, falling to his knees, exhausted. Suddenly the lights flickered on overhead and they all groaned, eyes trying to readjust to the sharp contrast in brightness.

"Who are you?!" 

Shit.

Hopper holds his hands up quickly, nudging Joyce and Jonathan to follow suit. 

"It's me kid... it's Hopper." He answers as non-threateningly as he could.

The boy frowns and starts walking towards them, limping slightly with blood spattered all over his hospital gown, his face and his legs. He's practically soaked in it. He tilts his head curiously to the side like a puppy as he stands right in front of them. It's only when he's that close that Hopper notices his blood red eyes and freaks him the fuck out.

"Hopper? Hop- ...Hopper as in, the police Chief?" Steve asks, his voice kitten soft and innocent. Hopper's heart breaks. What did they do to him? 

"Yeah, it's me kid. Are you alright?" He asks cautiously, hand still on his gun. 

"He... he talks about you... sometimes." The boy says quietly. His eyes are blank and his jaw is slack. He's dead to the world.

"Who does?" Jonathan shoots Hopper a slight frown but says nothing.

"Steve." 

Joyce grabs Hopper's hand tight as they can't help but gasp in shock. She lowers her axe and slowly takes one step closer to the boy.

"Then, who are you?"

"Four." 

"That's not your name sweetie. Your name is Steve Harrington." She insists gently.

"My name is Four!" He suddenly yells, causing her to back up and raise her axe again. His eyes darken and he sneers at them, a shaking hand stretching out towards them. 

"Woah kid- wait!" 

It's too late- he's already clenched his fist. They're supposed to be dead now, right? 

Wrong.

When Hopper looks up, he sees Steve frowning hard at something behind him. His eyes are huge and fiery with surprise and rage. 

"How the hell are you doing that?" He snarls.

The Chief swivels around to see Jane, with her own hand outstretched, forehead down and eyes hooded low and dangerous. Holy shit, he thought, it was a battle of the psychics. But it seemed as though Steve was winning. Jane was already in the middle of a nosebleed but he seemed unaffected. His eyes only glowed brighter and he was smiling now- only, his face seemed grotesquely animated and evil. Jane screamed out at him and sent another wavelength of energy towards him but their powers seemed to be cancelling each other out. It was only a matter of time before he overpowered her. 

Hopper quickly reached for the box in his pocket, pulling out the needle inside it. It was filled with a clear substance that looked more like mercury than liquid. He frowns, squeezing a little bit out of it to test. Good, it's ready. Jane let's out another scream and Steve snickers.

"Looks like you're done, sweetheart." He taunts just as Hopper sticks the needle into his neck and presses down hard. 

"Argh!" 

He quickly grabs the boy around the waist before he can go crashing into the ground, his thin, bony frame making him feel like a doll in Hopper's arms.

 

He's out within seconds.

 

..............

 

"Jonathan!" 

Nancy's tearful cry wakes Billy up from his reverie as he sat in his car, the kids all anxious in the back. They all start yelling and talking excitedly as he sees Joyce, Jonathan and Hopper run briskly out of the building. Everything stops for him and all he can hear is muffled talking and a low whine like feedback. It's like it's all happening in slow motion- Nancy running into Jonathan's open arms and just burrowing into him. Joyce is helping Jane up the small hill, the kid looking exhausted with blood smeared on her face. He sees Hopper trudging up the incline with a pale body in his arms... looking like a soldier bringing back a dead body. 

"No." 

His voice is a broken wail and he can't see anything anymore… not sure if he even wants to see anymore.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More to come! #TheGoldenGlobesLetMeDown D : xoxo Sam_Haine


	17. Hold On I Still Want You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Billy's always the problem, that much he knows. Steve's sure he's going crazy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The magical 17. Enjoy guys.

Hold On I Still Want You

 

Billy doesn't remember driving back to the cabin. 

He doesn't remember how the hell he got there so fast and he certainly doesn't remember how his plaster cast had broken free from his wrist. But all he knows now is that they're not letting him in. They're not letting him see Steve and that fucking makes him livid. 

"Let me in, Hopper!" 

He's screaming and shouting at the locked door, banging his already fucked up wrist on the damn thing. Hopper's talking to him from the inside, his voice low and grave. He sounds muffled.

"Billy! Listen to me! Listen! Dr Owens is checking him out- he's been through a lot of experiments and we need to make sure he's safe before letting him come into contact with any of you!" 

"Bullshit! Lemme see him you son of a bitch!" Billy screams back, yelping out in pain as he smashes his broken wrist. He's aware of the scene he's causing; the kids are all huddled together, wide and frightened eyes on him. Nancy and Jonathan are on the couch wrapped up in each other's arms. Only Joyce is pacing nervously back and forth and it makes him feel some sort of anxiety.

"He'll be okay Billy, I promise you. But we can't risk you coming in here. With the radioactivity radiating off of his skin, he should be in quarantine right now." Hopper answers and his voice is tired and weary. He's leaning on the other side of the door, forehead pressed against it. Billy's in the same position, exhausted, with tears in his eyes. 

"I know how bad you want to see your friend kid, but let's just make sure he's safe first hm?" 

Billy closes his eyes and more teardrops slide down his cheeks. He sniffles quietly but nods his head, as if Hopper had x-ray vision and could see through the wood. He doesn't say anything else, just stands there a while nodding his head and whimpering mournfully, until he's acutely aware that he's actually crying in front of everyone in the room. Only then he decides to give up. He pushes away from the door and simply goes outside; sitting on the porch seemed the safest thing for him right now. 

Outside, the air is cool and crisp; it's not winter but the breeze that whips past him is chilly. He shivers and pulls his jacket tighter around himself as best as he could with one good, usable hand. He takes up residence on the rickety, wooden steps and pulls out one of the cigarettes he'd stolen from Hopper's pack. It's a warm welcome, the smoke swimming gracefully into his lungs, melting off some of the chill on his skin. A thick white cloud billows out in front of him and he indulges in the heady feeling of it for just a few seconds. The door opens and he tenses, ears twitching at the small, cautious steps behind him. He doesn't even look up or turn around as Nancy's lithe figure comes to sit beside him. Her hands are clasped tightly in her lap.

"I'm sorry." She murmurs, not exactly sure of what she's apologising for. 

Billy rolls his eyes, thinking God, the last thing he wants to do is make the others feel sorry for him and his childish behaviour. 

"You didn't do anything." He scowls, dragging in hard again.

She shrugs, looking off into the woods.

"Doesn't matter. I know how desperate and anxious you are to see him. I am too." 

Billy scoffs and shakes his head like he's calling bullshit.

"You don't know anything about me Wheeler." 

He doesn't see it, but she's nodding her head slowly. 

"You're right. I don't know you. But I can see that you've got feelings for him." 

He sharply rounds on her, a dangerous glint in his eyes. 

"You're outta your fucking mind Wheeler. Just because you dumped him doesn't mean you get to guilt trip me into thinking I have 'feelings' for Harrington alright?" He spits nastily, his nose screwed up in a severe sneer. His heart is fucking hammering in his chest right now.

"Billy- stop. Even if you don't want to hear it, I know you like him. But you don't have to worry, I won't say anything. I promise." She replies quietly, still calm and shit, it's messing with him bad. 

"I don't know what you're talking about." Is all he says, his voice low and thoughtful now as he blows out another cloud of white smoke. 

Nancy doesn't say anything for a while. She just sits there soaking up his tortured silence and keeping herself warm with it. She isn't stupid and she sure as hell isn't blind. She knows deep desire when she sees it and though it sounds bad, she'd learned to recognize the signs from Steve himself. He always had this raw and completely open look in his eyes and on his face... even his body language betrayed just how madly in love he'd been with her. It was a look that could not be mimicked or faked. It made his big, brown doe-eyes glassy and made him bite his lips wantonly. That's the same desire she'd seen in Billy's eyes when they'd brought Steve back. His eyes had never left the other boy as Hopper had carried him to the room. That, "I just want to take you home" look. And it made her feel things.

"He needs you right now." She finally says softly. 

"I know it feels as if you might as well be oceans apart but, ...please, don't stop caring for him. Don't stop... being, there for him. If you know what I mean. He's alone in his mind right now, but just- just stop keeping us out. Let us help. If you're good, I'm sure he'll be good too." 

Billy still doesn't say and word but he slowly puts out his cigarette, sighing brokenly. The tears in his eyes are hot and stinging bit he doesn't wipe at them. Just sits there, hands shaking, chest heaving painfully. He tries but he can't. Can't be strong anymore. He just wants to cry; just wants- no, needs Steve to be alright. He hasn't forgotten what happened between them the last time they saw each other... And he can't help but blame himself for everything that's happened to Steve. If he hadn't let the boy go that day, he'd still be safe. He'd still be awake right now, happy and not fighting for his life on some stranger's bed. He would've never have had to gone through all those tests and experiments like an animal. If anything, Billy should have been the one in Steve's place. No one knew the fucking burden he carried, like Atlas with the goddamn world on his shoulders. It was his fault- it was always him, screwing things up and screwing people over. 

Nancy puts her arms around him, holding him tightly and he doesn't even push her away. He's sobbing like a child but she doesn't seem to care. Just holds him, her head against his shoulder. She doesn't tell him that everything's going to be okay. Doesn't tell him to stop crying like a fucking baby. Just holds him up, probably trying to stop him from falling apart. Too late. But he appreciates her in this moment- he truly does. 

The door opens and they both turn around. It's Joyce. She's smiling down kindly at them.

"I've got some painkillers for that wrist." She says quietly, her own eyes glassy and tired. 

"And I'm making soup for everyone. I figured it would be the best thing right now, in this cold weather." 

Billy nods, smiling slightly as he takes the pills from the woman. 

"I can help." He mutters, helping Nancy to her feet. 

"No, really it's no bother-" Joyce starts, alarmed. But Nancy nods her head, smiling brightly.

"We'll both help." 

Billy's never seen Joyce grin so brilliantly. 

.................

Steve blinks his large eyes awake, and all he sees is darkness. But this darkness isn't like the one he's been trapped in all the time. No. It's clear and he can actually see his own hands in front his face. He looks down and sees his reflection, rippling in the dark water beneath his bare feet. It's disorienting and he has to take a step back to catch himself from falling. His footsteps hitting the water is a sound that echoes loudly in the dark space. He frowns and turns around... and gasps in shock.

It's his own reflection staring curiously back at him. He's dressed in the same goddamn hospital paper gown and there's a needle in his arm. He panicks and rips it out, only to find that the reflection hasn't done the same. That when he realizes that the reflection isn't even his. No, the person standing on the other side of the black mirror is much paler- like, plaster white from his head to his toes. His hair is much darker and looks choppy and... not right. His lips are a pale coral and his eyes are blood red. Steve doesn't know what to think but he slowly, gingerly reaches out a hand, pressing his palm to the mirror. The reflection smiles darkly.

"Hello Steve." It says, its voice low and even. Steve gulps.

"Who- ...what are you?" He chokes out and his heart drops when the thing lifts its palm to the mirror to meet his. A perfect mirror image.

"Helbig called me Four. But in truth, I am you. Just much darker, nastier. And a hell of a lot more fun." The thing says with a wink. Steve pulls his hand away from the mirror, frowning.

"Helbig. He's dead. Isn't he?" 

Four clicks his tongue coolly. "Yup." 

Steve gasps and falls to his knees as flashes of the dark haired man lying crumpled and paralyzed on the floor, in a puddle of his own blood, plays in his head in technicolor. He moans out in agony, hands holding his head, rocking back and forth like he's going crazy. Four kneels beside him, hands still on the glass. 

"Hey, it's okay sweetheart. It's okay." He coos as if he's talking to a child.

"No it's not!" Steve yelled, trying to cover his ears. "I killed someone!" 

"Um, correction, you killed some people. Plural."

"No-" The boy gasps out, like he's choking on his own saliva.

"Yes. It's okay kid, they all deserved it." Four mends, his voice not even remorseful in the slightest. Steve feels sick. 

"No-" He murmurs again, delirious. 

The loud smack on the glass has him startling in surprise and he looks up sharply at the... the thing on the other side. 

"Stop saying no! You did it! You killed all those people!"

"Stop-"

 

"Those doctors and nurses experimented on us! They tortured us for days and left us starving for even longer!"

"Stop- please-" 

 

"Do you remember that room? That fucking torture chamber they had us in? We went crazy in there!"

"No-"

"We started hallucinating and seeing things and people that weren't even real! Hell you even saw Billy a few times and you cried like some lovesick little bitch in his arms!"

Steve stops at that and shakes his head, hard. 

"No, I don't.... I don't-" He mumbles, shaking his head.

"Well of course you don't remember! You were going fucking out of your mind insane and I was the only sane one in that room. You threw up on yourself and choked on your own goddamn vomit. They! Did that to you! Not me. They deserved to die Steven and you know it!" 

"Stop it!" Steve finally screams out and the ‘evil him’ suddenly goes silent. Now, he's just staring at Steve with narrowed red eyes that look reptilian. It's scary. 

"Stop, please. You did that. You killed those people-"

"You can try to disassociate yourself from this all you want darling, but deep down you know you killed Helbig and his people." Four says resolutely. And Steve finally breaks, letting out a harsh cry, his palms and cheek flat against the glass as he sobs. He didn't want to be a monster. But it was too late to go back now. His mind is a nightmare of silver screens playing out each and every murder committed by his hands. He slams his eyes shut and sobs harder. 

Suddenly, there's a cold but gentle hand on his wet cheek. It cups his jaw gently, raising his watery gaze to meet Four's bloody, red stare. His eyes lack any sort of emotion but they are not cruel or harsh. They simply blink back at him. He sniffles.

"Look at me. Look at me and listen. They took away your life from you. They fed you poison and told you it was for your own good. They stripped you down, naked for everyone to see and they humiliated you. They cut your hair. And not a single one of them felt bad about it. They didn't show you mercy. They tortured you for hours. You snapped your fingers and they were dead. That's showing mercy. You're not a monster Steve. You're the hero of this story." 

Steve finds himself nodding tearfully, trying to convince himself that what Four was saying was right. The glass separating them was no more and suddenly Steve could feel himself become one with his darker reflection. It felt like rain misting on his skin after being in the sun for too long. 

Beautiful.

 

..................

"Man, this tastes good." Dustin grins, belching out loud next to Billy who cringes hard.

"That's disgusting man." He tells the boy, hovering over his own bowl of soup, taking a spoonful every five minutes it seemed. He just didn't have the appetite but he wasn't about to disappoint Joyce. She'd worked hard on it, even if he and Nancy had basically forced her to do as little as possible. 

"Dustin! Will you stop it!" Lucas gripes as Dustin belches again.

"Hey, so I was thinking." Will started, almost done with his soup. 

"About what?" Mike asks, helping Jane eat her soup. She's still peering at the red liquid in the bowl, curious. 

"It's tomato soup." Billy had told her.

Will continues.

"I was thinking that we could maybe make a gift for Steve. Y'know, like a get well soon gift for him when he wakes up." 

Billy freezes, purposely looking down into his bowl. 

Dustin grins, nodding his head vigorously. 

"That's sounds like a great idea." Max says, kicking Billy's foot under the table.

"What do you think Billy?" 

"Huh?" He says stupidly. Nancy chuckles and shakes her head as she leans on Jonathan. 

"About getting a present for Steve when he wakes up." Dustin repeats slowly, raising an eyebrow at him like he's daft.  
"Yeah, uh, sounds great." He mumbles, shrugging cluelessly. 

"What should we get him?" Lucas asks. They all start brainstorming as if it's some kind of mission. 

Billy shakes his head. He knows exactly what he's going to give Steve the minute he wakes up. Actually, he thinks he knows but he's sure Steve will just reject him. After that... day, their fight, he's not sure if Steve even wants to see him and suddenly his stomach churns. 

Fuck.

Does Steve even want to see his stupid face anymore? What'll he say when he wakes up and sees the douchebag blonde who broke his precious little heart? Would he tell him to hit the road? Would he forgive him and ask for Billy to hold him close? He's been having dreams of holding Steve lately. Or would the boy just ignore him as if he'd never existed? He's scared now. 

"Oh I know! We can get him his own character so he can play DnD with us!" Mike suggests, sounding excited as if Steve would actually play with a bunch of kids.

Dustin shakes his head. "Nah, Steve's way too cool for DnD. We need something for his hair or something."

"Maybe we can get him a pet lizard." Max offers and Dustin looks at her like she's the coolest person in the world. He feels just a little twinge in his chest that she chose Lucas over him but he gets over it quickly. Lucas was his good friend and he and Max were perfect for each other. 

"That's actually not a bad idea." He tells her, grinning as Lucas shakes his head.

"Guys, what is Steve gonna do with a pet lizard?" He questions, ever the practical one. 

"I say we make him a Ghostbusters costume so he can join us for Halloween next month." Will states with certainty. Billy almost snorts soup up his nose at that and they all turn to look at him. He coughs out and holds his hands up in surrender.

"Sorry- Jesus, sorry. I just think Harrington would look ridiculous in that suit." He spits out, laughing. 

Mike screws up his face. 

"No Billy that would be you." There are murmurs of agreement around the table, even from Jonathan and Nancy and Joyce. He snorts, shaking his head defiantly. 

"I don't know what the hell you're talking about kid. I would totally rock a Ghostbusters costume." 

"Yeah, but you'd never button up the front and you can't hunt ghosts like that." Lucas counters and they all burst into uncontrollable laughter. 

"What's so funny?" Hopper jokes as he exits the room Steve's in with Owens. They all pause awkwardly, the laughter frozen on their faces as they look at him expectantly. The poor guy looks spooked and severely uncomfortable but Billy can't find it in himself to feel sorry for him. He stands up instead, fixing hard blue eyes on the Chief until the man sighs.

"Okay, he's stable for now." 

The sighs of relief are a welcome sound and Billy can feel his chest deflate, a bit of the tensions he's been holding on to dissipating. 

"Can we see him?" Dustin pipes up, the hope clear in his eyes. Hopper looks indecisive for a beat before he nods slightly, holding up a hand as he does so.

"You can, but not yet."

Their impatient cries of protest grow louder. 

"Why not?" Mike demands, his face screwed into a tired scowl. 

Hopper puts on his authoritative, police officer voice. 

"Because it's been a very intense few days and you all need rest. So, after you've eaten, you can go shower and then go to sleep. He hasn't woken up yet but you can visit him for five minutes in the morning." 

Joyce finds herself nodding in agreement with Hopper as she starts clearing away the empty bowls and plates on the table. 

"He's right kids, are you all done eating?" 

The mutter a collective and disappointed "yes", their heads hanging low. She rolls her eyes fondly at them.

"Don't be so dramatic. Some rest will do you all some good." 

"Yeah, I'll help you guys get ready for bed." Nancy adds, gesturing at Jonathan to help her with the kids. Billy doesn't know what to do with himself so he heads to the kitchen to help Joyce wash the dishes. Before he can though, a firm hand rests on his shoulder gingerly. He sighs but doesn't turn around. 

"Got a minute kid?" 

Five minutes later, they're out on the porch puffing away at their glowing cigarettes. Billy's leaning against the wooden banister while Hopper faces the forest, eyes distant. They don't talk for a good few minutes and somehow Billy seems okay with that. 

Hopper just doesn't know how to tell the kid what they'd found on Harrington's body. Owens had done a physical on the boy to ensure that he didn't have any life threatening bruises, lacerations or cuts; a necessary step in the medical assessment. And thankfully none were life-threatening but, there were a lot of damages on the kid's body. As if he'd been beaten and tortured constantly. Some of the new wounds covered older ones and marred the pale skin. Remnants of burn marks were all over his torso and his thighs were blue black. His wrists and ankles were bright red and looked as if they'd been rubbed raw by metal wiring or metal cuffs. He'd struggled against them hard. And his hair had been cut, not as bad as Jane's had been bit still; if there was one thing Jim had found most recognizable about the kid, it was his hair. And Brenner and Helbig just chopped it off. 

When he catches himself, back to reality, he notices that Billy's breathing hard. He'd just said all of that aloud. The kid looks incensed, his blue eyes burning fiercely. Hopper can't blame him, he'd been that way too when Owens explained all the injuries. He remembers just seeing red as his eyes took in the marred skin. After the examination, they'd washed away all the blood and chemicals from his skin and had slipped on some sweatpants and a huge black cotton t-shirt with the name 'Hawkins Police' on it in bold white print. The kill-code serum he'd injected into the boy back at the lab seemed to have him in a deep sleep. Hopper didn't know when he'd wake up but Owens had predicted it would be within three days.

"I need you to watch him tonight. Can you do that?" He says quietly, already in his third cigarette. 

Billy frowns hard and shrugs, taking a long drag.

"Why me?" 

Hopper mimics Billy's innocent shrug.

"Figured you're the only one he'd want to be around if he- ...when, he wakes up." 

Billy flinches at the 'if' and scowls.

"What the hell makes you say that?" 

"I'm not blind Billy." 

Billy already knows what he's getting at and he snaps. He already had Nancy on his ass about this, he could not have the Chief of frickin police know about it too! 

"Yeah well clearly you are! I don't even know why-" 

"Hey, it's okay. I don't care if you guys are together or not. Doesn't matter to me and if anyone has anything to say about it, I'll be the first one to punch their lights out."

Billy pauses, frowning hard at the man.

"Y... you mean, you're not mad?" He hates how small he sounds.

Hopper rolls his eyes and shakes his head. 

"I'm not, kid." 

The boy sighs, almost in disbelief and drops his tightly wound shoulders. Suddenly he looks younger and Hopper feels for him. Neil would have probably skinned the kid alive if he'd found out about him and Steve. He's thankful that he knows enough about the man now, so that he can keep an eye on the Hargrove household, for Max and Billy's protection. 

"Turn your brain off for the night, and go keep an eye on him. I'm sorry for keeping him away from you earlier but his skin was covered in toxic chemicals. I'll fill you in on the details in the morning." 

Billy blinks hard, trying his best not to fucking cry again and snorts quietly. 

"We're not together, by the way. He just really likes me." He jokes, shaking his head, looking everywhere but at the Chief. 

Hopper chuckles softly, ruffling his blonde curls. 

"Night." 

"Night kid." 

..............

 

He doesn't know what to expect when he steps quietly into the room, closing the door behind him. His entire body is trembling with tension and his palms feel clammy. He sees the dark profile of a small body on the bed and his heart clenches. That didn't look like his Steve on the bed- everything about it was just... wrong. His eyes make out the chair on the bedside but he ignores it completely, opting to lie on his side right next to the comatose boy. He rests his head on the pillow next to Steve and stares. 

The boy's breathing is shallow and sounds like a dog panting. But his soft lips are closed and he doesn't look stressed. His face is void of any kind of worrying creases and instead look like smooth, glistening marble under the pale moonlight shining in through the open window. Thick long lashes fan out on his prominent cheek bones and his brows look perfect and waxy. He looks unreal right now to Billy and the boy isn't sure if he should touch him or not. Instead he glances up at Steve's hair and becomes instantly angry. They cut his fucking hair. Billy could feel his blood boil like lava in his veins and he clenches his jaw. 

"What'd they do to you princess?" He murmurs softly into the boy's hair. It smells like Hopper's spicy, manly body wash and Billy huffs, annoyed. He quickly let's go of the feeling when Steve whimpers quietly, the sound forcing his hand to wrap protectively around the boy's waist. He can feel the sharp hipbones prodding into his arm. 

"It's okay. It's okay, I'm here." He hears himself whispering into Steve's ear, kissing it tenderly before doing the same to his temple and then his jaw, then his lips. 

"I'm here Steve. I'll never leave you again." 

His words are heavy with regret and pain and sorrow and guilt and he feels his skin tingle with disgust at himself. He doesn't deserve this. He doesn't deserve to hold Steve like this; to comfort him like this and to lie with him as intimately as he's currently doing. Steve deserves so much better than this and the only thing stopping him from running out of the room right now is the brunette's frightened little whimpers. 

"I'm so sorry baby." He sobs quietly into Steve's hair. 

"I was stupid and I should've just grabbed you and kissed you that day. I should've made you stay and you wouldn't have had to go through all this." His words are choppy and reflect the agony that's warring in his chest. God, he was so fucking stupid! 

"Steve..." His pitiful whimper sounds small and childlike to his own ears but he doesn't notice it. He's perfectly content with just lying there, next to Steve and crying his goddamn eyes out. He remembers the last time they were next to each other like this- well, back then it had been way more intimate. But it didn't matter, because he was sure Steve would never give him that chance again. 

"Baby, please..." He sounds pathetic and doesn't even know what he's begging for. He's a mess. Absolute trash and he doesn't deserve this. 

He gently pulls up the blanket over them both and rests his head on Steve's chest. The tears are still coursing down his face like a never-ending waterfall but he doesn't care anymore. He just wants to close his eyes and dream about Steve. Wants to go back to those fevered dreams where he's holding the brunette and they're just talking about nothing in particular. Wants to hear and see and feel Steve smiling again. Billy wants to tell Steve that he doesn't deserve him... 

And that he's sorry. 

Steve's silence is as cold and unrelenting as the cruel winds blowing just outside the window.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a sidenote, The Greatest Showman was a really good movie. More to come! Sam_Haine


	18. Somewhere Far Along This Road He Lost His Soul

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve's awake... or is he? Billy's mind takes him places, every time things seem to be going his way. Jane might be on to something.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chappo 18. Enjoy.

Somewhere Far Along This Road He Lost His Soul

 

Forty-eight hours. 

Forty-eight hours had passed and there was nothing. 

Steve was awake; never once closing his eyes- not even a blink. Never eating, never speaking- didn't even move an inch from where he was sitting upright in the bed. 

He didn't speak, for forty-eight hours.

The kids had been forced to go home at the request of their parents and after much begging, only got to visit the cabin once every evening after school. The Chief had something to do with that. Nancy and Jonathan came around regularly too, bringing lunch and sometimes dinner from Joyce and homework from school for Steve. Sometimes Nancy just sat there at his bedside working out equations or writing essays for him, mostly talking to herself. She never once got impatient or mad. Jonathan would sit with him too, mostly not saying a damn thing and just enjoying the silence. Even Hopper and Jane sat down with him, the Chief teaching Jane how to properly form coherent sentences while he also kept an eye on the mute boy. 

Billy though... he never left. Stayed there like a constant, never changing, never moving more than the time it took to shower, change and eat. Just the basic necessities. Sometimes he'd talk softly to the boy, stroke his hair and tell him how beautiful he was. Other times he'd growl angrily at him and beg him to wake the fuck up. On days like that, he wouldn't dare go close to Steve; too afraid he'd say or do something that would trigger him. It was a precarious situation and Billy tried his best not to fuck up the comfortable balance they'd maintained. 

He was surprised Neil hadn't even objected to him staying with the Chief but he figured it had something to do with Hopper himself. Nobody questioned the Chief of Hawkins Police. Billy feels a smug satisfaction at the mere fact; Neil being put in his place by the big guy. It was fucking hilarious. He was currently eating breakfast with Jane while the man put on his uniform in the next room. Steve still hasn't said anything, so he gives the boy his space. 

"A girl and her dog get whisked away to another world where everything's green." He says, bright blue eyes sparkling mischievously at the girl. They were playing some kind of guessing game of Jane's imagination while they ate eggo waffles. The categories included fairytale and mystery books. 

"The Wonderful Wizard of Oz!" Jane pipes up excitedly, her mouth full of syrup soaked waffle bits.

Billy exaggerates his applause, grinning as the girl smiles proudly at him. 

"Alright, are you ready sport?" Hopper chimes, his speech muffled by the unlit cigarette in his mouth. He comes out of his room looking ridiculous in his freshly ironed uniform and hat. Billy tells him as much and gets a playful whack on the back of the head for it. Jane giggles, jumping up from her seat to grab her bag. She's spending the day at the Byers' until Hopper gets back from work- just a weekly ritual where she learns how to read and write and do math with Will and Joyce until she's ready to start school. It's exciting stuff.

"Okay, you gonna be alright kid?" The Chief asks as he hurriedly slips on his blue coat, Jane already waiting for him at the door impatiently. It's a question he makes sure to ask Billy every time he leaves and Billy doesn't know why. Of course he'd be fine. Why the hell did Hopper care if his day went fine or not? 

"Yeah, I am." He mutters, cheeks hot. He looks away rolling his eyes as the man continues. 

"And you know how to get me-" 

"Yeah, yeah the station's number is right by the phone on the table." He mumbles again, missing the fond way Hopper shakes his head. 

"I'll be fine." 

He feels the man ruffling his already messy hair, like he always does now apparently. It's not a slap or a kick or some other harsh beating that would bruise him. It's meant to make him feel comfortable and Billy finds himself liking it very much. He waves Jane goodbye as they drive away and stays until the brown Chevy fades from view. 

 

..............

"Would you please stop pacing? It's annoying and it's making me nervous." 

Four pauses and turns to fix Steve with an unimpressed stare for a minute before returning to his pacing. Steve grumbles, burying his face in his hands.

 

"Don't get snarky with me Harrington. I'm trying to get you out of your goddamn head right now. And if it weren't for your stupid sheriff friend, I'd still have powers."

"Maybe it's a good thing you don't have your powers. And you've been pacing for hours man, how's that working out for ya?" Steve deadpans, stumbling to his feet. He's been sitting on his ass all day.

His evil twin glowers at him and stops again, hands on his hips. He's all attitude now.

"At least I'm trying to get you to wake up! You haven't done shit yet. Your freaking eyes are open and yet, you haven't said a word to lover boy who- by the way- has been cuddling all day in bed with you, trying to get you to do something other than stare and drool at the wall in front of you!" 

Steve splutters in utter disbelief, completely offended.

"Okay, first of all, his name is Billy- not 'loverboy' and second, he was not cuddling with me." 

Four rolls his eyes and throws his hands in the air, frustrated. Steve had been physically awake for the past two days but they'd both been unable to wake his mind up. He didn't know what the hell to do especially since they were in this not-so-dark place with absolutely nothing to help them find a way out. Not even a fucking manual. And Steve- useless beanpole that he was- wasn't helping at all. The idiot seemed perfectly content with just sitting on his ass, curled up on himself and rocking back and forth. Four had chalked it up to PTSD and wondered why he couldn't feel it. Maybe it was because he'd been created from Steve; just an abstract projection of Steve's mind and not an actual physical part of him that could be haunted by memories of torture and suffering. He feels bad for the kid but at the moment, he just wanted to smack him upside the head.

"Whether he was cuddling with you or not, I don't care. Just get us the fuck outta your goddamn head. I'm tired of being in this empty thing." He argues as Steve takes a long, catlike stretch.

"Gee, thanks." The kid says dryly, fixing him with tired eyes. 

"No offense princess." Four mocks and Steve almost chokes.

"Hey! Don't start with that!" He cries, blushing bright red.

Four had had a good laugh when Billy had called Steve his "princess", much to the boy's utter embarrassment. Steve had argued that those were private moments between him and the dumb blonde that he didn't deserve to see but Four had watched anyway. He'd watched like it was the goddamn two for one ticket sale at the cinema! The only thing missing was a hot, buttery tub of popcorn. He had a fun time making grossly exaggerated aww and oooh sounds whenever Billy whispered something in Steve's ear. 

Totally the best past time ever.

"Ooh, look! Hopper's left with the little freak! Wonder what he's gonna tell you today?" He squeals excitedly, red eyes riveted to the vision in front of them.

"She's not a freak." Steve grouses, eyes locked on the vision as well. 

"Okay, fine. Badass, since she's technically not that different from me." Four mends, in an airy tone.

"Yeah," Steve agrees. "She is a badass. You're the complete opposite." 

In the distance, they can hear Billy saying, "Be right back, princess" and Steve cringes as Four doubles over, wheezing with laughter. He tries to ignore him by focusing on the sound of falling water and fails. It's too soft.

"Ooh la la." Four growls, a sultry gaze in his heated eyes. 

"Is he in the shower?" 

Steve's cheeks redden and he looks away, blushing. Shit! It feels like a century since he'd engaged himself in... sexual activities. And as he recalls, the last time he'd done it with someone, it had been Billy Hargrove. And that had ended in disaster. But the sex was fucking mind-blowing though. And Billy had been his first. 

"You sly devil, you. You fucked him didn't you?" Four suddenly rasps huskily, a huge grin on his stupid face. 

Steve chokes. "No I- we..."

"Uh uh uh! You did, it's written all over your face, Steven." 

"Don't call me that!" Steve grumbles. 

"Don't change the subject." Four shoots back, winking at him. 

"We've gotta get out of here pronto Harrington." 

Steve grimaces, folding his arms.

"And why's that?" 

Four gives him an unimpressed look that just screams, "You damn well know why." Steve shakes his head, defiant.

"Oh- oh hell no Four! We are not going to fuck Billy on our first day back!" He hisses, taking a moment to assess how crazy that statement sounded. 

"Technically you've been awake for like, two days now. So, I wouldn't exactly call this our first day back." Four replies thoughtfully.

"Well, technically I think you should go fuck yourself." Steve bites back, looking up at the sound of the shower door opening. His stomach churns at the low growl Four lets out as Billy steps out of the bathroom, a thick billowing cloud of steam following him into the room he shares with the still very mute Steve. 

"I could also do that you know... I mean there are two of us." Four mutters distractedly as he keeps his eyes locked on Billy's glistening body. The blonde boy only has a towel wrapped low around his waist, those chiselled hipbones on display for both Steves to admire. He bends down to grab up some clothes from the duffel bag he'd brought over and Four whistles.

"Goddamn. No wonder you kept dreaming about him, Harrington." 

Steve fixes him with a withering glare, heart in his throat because what the fuck- was Billy going to get dressed right there... in front of them- him? 

"Alright fuck it." Four suddenly rasps, closing his eyes. He's gone before Steve can even blink.

 

...........

"Billy?" 

Four wants to just jump on him like he's riding a rodeo. Somewhere in the back of his mind, Steve is screaming "How the hell did you do that? Don't you dare!" It's hilarious. He didn’t even know how he did it. 

Hargrove damn near almost jumps out of his skin when he hears his name. He startles and turns around so fast, he gives himself whiplash. Clutching his neck, his eyes widen as he sees Steve blinking and looking at him curiously with those pretty, pretty eyes. His hair gives away the illusion that it was still his Steve there on the bed staring at him. It's not. Not really. He knows they'll have a lot of hurdles to get over and mountains to climb before they can ever get back to where they were. And even then, they'd need to work even more to fix and mend what was already broken between them. But right now, he could only gape at the boy biting nervously at his lower lip. 

"St.... Steve. You're... awake." He whispers, his voice reverent and still surprised. He stands up and goes over to the brunette, standing over him like some immense towering statue. Steve blinks up at him and gets to his knees on the bed, his shoulders just reaching Billy's chest. He feels the blonde reach out a tentative hand, fingers shaking because he's probably nervous right now. Steve doesn't move, doesn't flinch or pull away. He waits until Billy's warm hand is cupping his jaw and then he nuzzles his face into the touch, gently kissing the palm of the boy's hand. 

Billy goes to pull him in for a hug but Steve goes for a kiss instead, wrapping weak arms around the blonde's neck and pulling him closer until their bodies were pressed flush together. Billy makes this surprised little sound in the back of his throat but then completely melts into the kiss. It's wild, and dirty and feels like the kiss of a touch starved human being. There's an abject sort of desperation to it that both frightens and thrills Billy at the same time. It doesn't feel like Steve though. No. His boy's kisses were soft and gentle like he's never done it before. And he's timid and let's Billy take the lead, just opening his mouth for him to dominate. This Steve is making him compliant and while it's a damn good feeling, it just feels weird. He quickly pulls back.

"Baby- hey, wait. Stop, stop." He murmurs, gently pushing Steve back by the shoulders. The boy frowns sadly up at him with big, brown doe-eyes and his heart almost breaks. 

"What's wrong?" He whimpers.

Billy shakes his head like he's confused or something. 

"You just woke up from being in a coma, don't you think we should... maybe talk first or maybe I can make you something to eat. You must be starving, hm?"

Steve fucking pouts and it's the most fucking adorable thing Billy's ever seen.

"M'not hungry." He mumbles, moving to plant wet kisses on Billy's neck, his wonderful broad shoulders and down his chest. He can feel the other boy shivering under his attention and he can't help but smile wryly. Billy moans as Steve comes back up to his neck, sucking the skin right there, hard enough to leave a bruise. Then Billy is suddenly grabbing him by the forearms and pushing him away again. He growls low in his throat and it sounds like an angry kitten.

"Steve, stop. Are you alright?" 

The boy’s voice is gentle and kind, just like it had been up there in Steve's head. It conveyed all the emotions the other boy seemed to have had inside him for a long time and it makes Four uncomfortable. He can practically hear Steve banging on the inside of his own skull- "Don't you touch him!" He sighs.

"I feel... okay." He answers truthfully, looking at Billy through his lashes. 

"M'sorry." He finally mutters because it felt like something Steve would say. He'd apologize for being a total idiot when all he wanted was Hargrove's dick. He schools his face to look totally ashamed of himself and he feels Billy stroking his cheek gently. 

"No, it's okay. Look, I know... I know it's been a hellish week for you... in that lab. I just don't want you to hurt yourself baby." 

Four gazes at him all sweet and understanding but he really wants to puke with all this mushy-squash business. God, he thought Steve said Billy was a badass who fucked just right? Or maybe that was his interpretation... Either way, Billy was being a total gentleman right now and it was pissing him off. He can hear Steve sneering at him, "Serves you right."

"Okay. I guess I am a little bit hungry." He admits, sitting back down on his haunches. 

Billy seems to brighten at that. 

"Alright, lemme change into some clothes and then we can go raid Hopper's fridge." 

 

.............

Ten minutes later they were sitting on the couch eating ham and cheese sandwiches Billy had haphazardly thrown together with some tomato slices. Steve sat there gobbling the thing down and drinking it with juice while Billy had barely touched his; much too busy staring at the boy with a faraway look in his eyes. Four didn't notice at first but on the inside, Steve did. He could see how confused and conflicted Billy was and could tell that he had a million questions bouncing around inside his head. Steve sat sadly in the darkness, not knowing how the hell to get out of his own head. If he could just tell Billy everything that happened. 

When Four finally notices him staring, he looks up and stares back. Billy's cheeks go pink and he looks away.

"Sorry." He murmurs, picking at a crisp lettuce leaf. Steve's heart throbs at that. He'd never seen Billy act so shy before but he liked it. The boy looked cute, looking away with his blue eyes down and those pretty blonde curls falling in beautiful tendrils over his face. "Don't mess this up, Four." 

"It's alright." Four replies weakly, placing a hand on Billy's shoulder and then quickly removing it. 

"You probably have a lot of questions." 

Billy blinks up at that, looking like a deer caught in headlights. 

"I mean... I do but... y'know only if you want to talk about it. I don't want to push you... or anything." He splutters cutely. Four shrugs as if it was no big deal and Steve wants to punch him. He couldn't tell Billy everything! Or maybe he could and just didn't want to. The two boys sit in silence for a couple minutes, looking awkwardly at everything and everywhere but each other. The tension is high but it feels off. Billy finally opens his mouth.

"I want you to know that, I'm sorry Steve. I really am. If I hadn't been so stupid to let you go, you would've been safe. I should've-"

Billy's pathetic words become muffled as Four realizes with a deep feeling of dread, that he doesn't have any idea what Billy is talking about. This clearly happened before he was created but Steve had never told him about it. From what the other boy was saying, it sounded as if they'd gotten into a fight. And that’s how Steve had been taken by Helbig's men. He frowns harder and harder as he connects the dots. Shit, he'd have to go back in that place to ask Steve about it.

"Stop." 

Billy immediately shuts up. He looks scared, as if he's afraid Steve is going to reject him. Four loves that kind of power he has over the regretful sod. He fixes his face into the best teary-eyed look he can muster and turns to Billy.

"Stop. I don't want to talk about that. I just want to move on." He sobs and almost bursts out into maniacal laughter when Billy visibly cringes in fear. He nods his head.

"You're right... I'm sorry." He murmurs, getting up from the couch and practically dashing to the kitchen for an escape. Four remained where he was, a dark smile on his twisted face.

Steve growled. "You're toying with his feelings!" 

When Billy doesn't return, Steve's heart breaks. 

..............

Billy knows he deserves the cold and unfeeling attitude he's getting from Steve right know- he fucking knows it. But it still hurts like a bitch seeing the boy look at him with those blank eyes and stiff upper lip. He knew they'd talk about it eventually but for now, it seemed all Steve wanted was some space. He stayed there in the kitchen, leaning against the sink, tears threatening to fall. He's a coward, just like Neil said. A weak, pathetic coward who didn't have the balls to say what was needed to be said. Steve slipped through his fingers a long time ago he figured.

Five minutes later, he hears footsteps and then sees the brunette poking his head from behind the wall. 

"Hey, where'd you go?" The boy asks, his voice oddly lighter and more airy than just a few minutes ago. Billy hastily wipes the wetness from his eyes and pretends he's washing the dishes. The water's not even fucking running you moron. 

"Sorry, I was just uh... going to do the dishes." He replies dumbly. He hears- no, feels Steve come up behind him. He holds in his breath as the boy wraps bony arms around his waist. What the fuck...

"I can help." Comes the soft murmur in his ear. He closes his eyes and thinks of the bliss he feels in that moment. It's poorly timed but who cares? It feels damn good to have Steve's body so close to his again. He leans his head back on the boy's shoulder and sighs heavily. 

"Steve..." 

"Mm?" 

Billy sighs. "I've gotta finish this." He concedes looking down at the two plates in the sink. It's a weak excuse and Steve doesn't buy it. 

"No. C'mere baby." Four whispers, turning the boy around so that they're face-to-face. Billy doesn't meet his eyes though, just keeps looking at his feet in shame. Steve is sobbing on the inside, screaming at the darkness to let him out. He just wanted to wrap Billy up in a hug so bad and tell him that he was sorry. Four just wanted what was in Billy's pants. Literally.

Four drops to his knees, slow and sultry with a heated look in his eyes that catch Billy off-guard. 

"Steve wha-" 

"Shh." Four intones with a hushed finger to his lips. Billy shuts up.

Long, tapering fingers work to unzip the tight blue jeans on Billy, exposing the black boxers underneath. He pulls those down too, licking his lips as his eyes take in the sight of Billy's already hardening cock. Four smirks devilishly to himself before looking up at Billy through Steve's thick, dark lashes. Billy looks down at him and breathes in sharply. Fuck. Steve looks beautiful on his knees. 

"Mmm." 

The groaning sound sends vibrations on his fucking cock as Steve sinks down on it until his nose touches Billy's pelvis. He gasps out brokenly as Steve's wet mouth starts sliding up and down on him, making him slick. 

"Fuck baby..."

He feels his dick sliding deeper and deeper into the boy's throat and he almost loses it when Steve chokes around it, the convulsing friction rubbing nicely around his shaft. Spit and precome drip down in slimy wet trails from Steve's pretty pink lips to his chin and down his neck. The boy's a mess. Large, brown doe-eyes look up at him pleadingly and they're already wet with tears. Steve hollows his cheeks out and sucks his cock even deeper, choking again. 

"Steve..." Billy whimpers out, incapable of forming coherent sentences. 

Steve pulls off of him with a wet and raspy gasp, jerking his cock with his hand while he catches his breath. He looks up at Billy again and kisses the head. Billy jerks his hips forward and Steve smiles earnestly. 

"Fuck my face.... please." He keens, sliding his mouth back down on that thick cock. He chokes himself on it again but doesn't pull away. He grabs Billy's hands and puts them in his hair. Billy's fingers just do what they're told, grabbing the short strands and pulling hard on them. Steve moans like a bitch in heat as the other boy's hips jerk forward a few times, fucking into his mouth. Billy's thrusts are irregular and cautious and Four finds himself growling at the other boy. 

"Harder Billy." He moans out, sloppily swallowing Billy's slick, slippery cock again. Billy complies then, fisting his hands in Steve's short brunette locks and thrusting his hips forward, hard. Steve's throat makes a wet, little choking noise and he whines in pleasure at the abuse. Four's a fucking slut, but Billy doesn't seem to be complaining. 

"Fuck princess." The blonde gasps out, jerking his hips mindlessly into the wet heat now. His cock is abusing Steve's mouth, his lips are deep red and swollen and his throat is probably really sore by now. His thrusts strengthen and he can feel his stomach tightening fast.

"Babe- fuck! Shit, m'gonna cum!" He grunts harshly, hands gripping harder on Steve's hair. 

Four moans, a long and deep, lustful sound that goes straight to Billy's cock. He sinks impossibly deeper onto the thick shaft, swallowing greedily around it. His hands move from jerking off his own dick to massaging Billy's balls firmly, as if to make him cum faster. He does and it's the best thing Four has ever fucking experienced. Billy seizes up for a minute and his pistoning hips begin to stutter, sharp, hard thrusts fucking into Steve's abused throat every two beats. Four feels the thick, warm saltiness on his tongue before he even hears Billy groan out. He gazes up at Billy with hooded eyes and makes a show of swallowing the blonde's semen like the good boy he is. 

"Fuck." Billy breathes out as his softening cock slips out of Steve's mouth. He reaches down to wipe at the stray tears slipping down his boy's ruined face and almost loses it when Steve's huge doe-eyes blink up at him, mesmerized. His cheeks are stained with wet tear tracks and his lips are swollen and glistening with cum and spit. Billy wipes his cock on the boy's cheek and on his lips before tucking himself back in his jeans. He kneels down to Steve's level and looks down between his legs, noticing the mess. 

"You've already taken care of yourself hm?" He murmurs gently to the brunette. He's not even mad.

Four blinks at him with the most innocent look possible as he nods, biting his lip, like a child answering a parent. Billy sighs, kissing his forehead sweetly.

"C'mon princess, let's get you cleaned up." 

Steve wants to murder Four. 

 

...............

 

When Hopper returned in the evening with Jane, he almost dropped the bag of take-out he'd gotten them for dinner. The sight that greeted him was a warm and happy one; Billy and Steve sitting cross-legged on the couch playing cards with huge grins on their faces. Billy especially looked sincerely happy, his eyes sparkling mischievously at Steve who was weird to look at for a minute since he'd practically been like a living dead for two days straight. 

"Hey boys." He smirks, hanging his hat and coat on the rack at the door. Billy's grin fades a little as he quickly gets to his feet as if he expects to be scolded or yelled at or something. Hopper falters sadly at that and waves at them awkwardly. 

"Hey... I didn't... we were just fooling around. I... meant to do the dishes later I just for-" The blonde begins, stammering a bit. 

Hopper frowns and shrugs casually. 

"It's cool, kid. Besides, it's Jane's turn to do the dishes." He reassures in a light joking tone, narrowing his eyes at Jane playfully. She giggles, running to Billy to show him the work she'd done with Joyce today. 

"Hey." Steve waves timidly at the Chief feeling kind of like an outsider. Well- who the hell was he trying to fool? He was a goddamn outsider! 

Hopper drops the bag of take-out on the table next to him before approaching him cautiously. Billy occupies himself with whatever Jane's telling him about 'Shane', giving Hopper a chance to talk with Steve. He figures the brunette would quicker talk to Hopper about everything than him. It hurt to admit but Billy took it with a grain of salt. He deserved it. 

"And he's got the coolest cowboy hat in town..." 

Jane's tiny, delicate voice muffles and becomes soft, echoing in Billy's head as he sees Steve following Hopper into the kitchen. He fights every nerve in his body that tells him to get up and follow them. 

Hopper eyes the boy nervously as he leans against the cupboards, arms wrapped protectively around himself. He doesn't look as pale or as weak as he'd been lying down, prone and absolutely helpless on that bed. In fact, there's a light sort of glow to his skin and some fresh bruises on his neck that look suspicious as hell but Hopper ignores it... for Billy's sake. Jesus, the kid was a smooth fucker, he thinks wryly. 

"How do you feel? And I don't want you to lie and say you're fine. You don't have to do that with me." He questions easily, noting the way Steve's not meeting his eyes.

"M'fine... I mean, I feel fine." Steve murmurs quietly, knowing that's exactly the opposite of what the man wanted to hear.

On the outside he appears shy and timid but on the inside, Four is fucking nervous. He doesn't trust Hopper; thinks the man is too smart. The Chief had seen him in his true form back at the lab after he'd closed the Gate. So did a few other strangers, but he didn't mind them. They didn't look at him the way Jim Hopper did. Like he could see right through him. Like he could tell the difference between him and Steve with one glance. It was scary... and sobering at the same time. It made him realize that he had to find a way to regain his powers somehow before Hopper caught up to him. 

"You sure? You were pretty messed up when we found you in that place." The Chief says and his words are careful. Measured.

Four begins to shrug but then remembers he's pretending to be Steve... And Steve was a wimp. So he'd probably be more than messed up after all the torture and suffering he'd been through. He sighs instead, shaking his head.

"It's weird... I mean it feels as if it all happened so fast, even though I know the days in that place felt more like years." His voice sounds small and shaky, and just like Steve's. Hopper seems to buy it.

"I'm sorry kid. I know this is all probably very, hard for you. But, you're safe now, okay? Brenner and his men are dead."

Four flinches hard at the name. He remembers Brenner briefly. But Helbig's the one he remembers the most. The man was the coordinator of those tests; he was the mastermind behind creating him. But he was stupid- trying to control him. Four was a powerful being who bent to no man's will. That was Helbig's first mistake. Then he'd suggested putting him down with that counter serum- the very same one Hopper had used on him- Helbig's second mistake. Four had made sure there wouldn't be a third. 

"I know." He finally answers, nodding his head. "I just need some time."

Hopper stays silent for a moment, thinking hard about something. He looks unsure of what to say at first but then sighed.

"Now that you're awake, Dr Owens has to do a medical evaluation. Y'know, to make sure you're healthy, mentally, anatomically. All the things we couldn't assess when you were unconscious."

There's a genuine panicked look in Steve's eyes and he shakes his head weakly, big brown eyes widening in fear.

"N... no, please. No more doctors." He whimpers, a small sob already making its way up into his throat. The Chief looks apologetic and sympathetic at the same time.

"I know this is going to be hard for you Steve. And if there was another way to get you checked out, I'd do it. Hell, if I could do the evaluation I would but- I'm no doctor. Owens is good people though, and you can trust him. If you want, I can be there when he does the assessment, so you won't have to be alone. Does that sound good?" 

Steve blinks away tears and looks down at his feet, weighing his options. Four on the other hand is actually boiling with anger on the inside. The last thing he needs right now is to be evaluated and rewired by some insane cook in a lab coat. He needs to find a way to get back his powers. His train of thought becomes interrupted when Jane comes into the kitchen. 

"The others are here." She says meekly to Jim who frowns and then nods, understanding flashing momentarily across his face. 

"Think about it? Owens is only in town for the week. He said he could come around nine-thirty on Thursday. He's leaving on Friday. You never know kid, it could be a big help." 

Steve nods and gives him the best "I'll think about it" look. Hopper leaves him and Jane in the kitchen. She's looking at him curiously with careful eyes, a small frown creasing her forehead. Four narrowed his eyes at her; thinking. She was the psychic kid- or, psychokinetic according to Steve. He remembers back at the lab, when he'd tried to kill Hopper and his little band of helpers, how the girl had counteracted his attack, basically cancelling it out. Shit, she was the answer he'd been looking for, he realized. If her power had been strong enough to lock them in a stalemate, then they were just as potent as his was. All he needed now, was a way to take that power from her.

"You look different." The girl suddenly says, breaking him out of his dark thoughts. He frowns at her.

"Different? How?" He says weakly, thinking shit, could she see him behind the mask of Steve's skin? 

"I don't... I don't think you are okay, Steve." She answers, taking a step towards him. He doesn't back away. If every important transaction happened in his mind, like melding with Steve and projecting himself out of the boy's body like he had back that the lab, then there was a very high chance that the same thing happened with Jane. He takes a threatening step towards her.

"Maybe I'm not. Maybe you should go inside my head and find out what's wrong with me." He says, his voice semi-playful. She tries to back up but her back hits the kitchen sink. The moment quickly dissipates as Hopper comes back with Joyce in tow. Four takes a quick step back and crumples his face back into that tortured, traumatized expression. 

"Hey sweetie, how are you feeling?" Joyce asks gently, a sweet smile on her face. He forces himself to return the smile as she pulls him in for a warm hug. 

Mushy-squash. 

...................

Steve's been relatively quiet all evening and had only started acting up when the little nerds came around. To say that Four was annoyed was a major understatement and a gross miscalculation of his true feelings towards the little bloodsuckers. They were irritating and asked too many questions and smiled too much. He wanted to punch them. Especially that weird Dustin kid to which Steve yelled, "Leave them alone Four! I mean it!" 

He kept his peace instead, opting to keep up the facade of being the kids' naive and pretty but scatter-brained little hero, Steve Harrington ("I'm not scatter-brained you asshole!"). So he sat there, on the couch next to Billy, who looked terribly distracted, and interacted with the little freaks. Jane, he noticed, was keeping her distance. 

"So we got you a present!" Dustin chimes in happily, turning to the rest of the gang.

"You're really gonna like it!" Mike tells him excitedly, taking out a small cardboard box they'd hidden under the table.

"I don't mean to brag, but, this was ninety percent my idea." Max boasts proudly, earning a light shove from Dustin and a huge grin from Lucas. 

"No it wasn't!" Mike argues, screwing up his face at her.

"It kinda was." Will admits, ever the honest one in the whole group. Max smirks at him and gives him a pat on the shoulder.

"See? Will knows the truth." 

Amidst their arguing, Four ends up with the box in his hands, looking down at it awkwardly. He cracks a forceful smile to which Steve screams at him to act more grateful! "They've probably put a lot of thought into this, you moron! Act like you like it!" Four silently tells him to shut the fuck up and opens the top flaps on the box. Billy peers down at it from over his shoulder. 

"What the hell is that?" 

Steve looks up expectantly at the brats, his brow raised high as if to echo Billy's question. Dustin's grinning though and he looks pleased as punch with himself. The other kids smirk at him with their arms crossed, waiting for the "this is awesome!" from him. It doesn't come.

"It's a bearded dragon! Your own pet lizard!" The kid explains, his lisp more prominent from his excitement. 

"It looks like something from Australia." Billy remarks, frowning hard at the beady-eyed thing, nestled warmly in the box. 

Four forces an earnest smile and nervously laughs along with them at Billy's comment. Steve hisses poisonously at him. "Say you like it!" 

"I like it!" He exclaims then feels like a complete moron for sounding so robotic. 

"Uh, I mean this is... this is really sweet you guys. I've never had a pet lizard before." He mends, silently asking Steve if he actually ever had a pet lizard. He hears a weak and fed up, "No, you asshole." The kids all seem to buy it and they're all grinning ear to ear as Dustin explains his fucking duties and responsibilities that he now apparently has to the scaly thing in the box. He notes everything with passing interest; twenty gallon aquarium, rocks, close lighting for heat, insects and vegetables for food. 

"Got it." He says, trying hard not to make eye contact with the thing, it's almost comical. Billy screws up his stupid face at him.

"You actually like it?"

He shrugs."Yeah, why not? It's cool." 

"Uh, no. It's lame. When the hell would you even find the time to take care of it?" Four almost wants to kiss Billy because that’s exactly how he felt but restrains himself and continues being Steve. Steve on the other hand, he can hear growling at Billy. The kids all fix Billy with annoyed looks too, their arms folded and their faces set.

"You're lame Billy." Max states, earning a mild glare from her brother.

"And Steve will have plenty time to take care of him. School's almost out anyway." Will offers.

"You can name him now if you want!" Dustin grins, wiggling his eyebrows at him. Four chuckles nervously, nodding. He turns to Billy for help. Billy just looks at him disdainfully, snorting in that obnoxious Hargrove way. 

"Oh, hell no. You got yourself into this mess. You're naming it." 

Four shoots him a withering, "would-not-pour-water-on-you-if-you-were-on-fire" look. Traitor. He turns back and looks down at the little monster inside the box thoughtfully. The darkness conceals most of the thing but Four can see the golden hues on its scales and the slightly grey beard at its chin. The things got creepy black eyes and he's not sure if it likes him or wants to murder him. He's seriously thinking about naming this fucking thing after himself. "How about Zippy?" Steve suggests and he wants to go back in his head and punch the boy's lights out. Seriously, Zippy? "Well what would you call it?" Steve shoots back defensively. He's taking too long and it's getting awkward for all of them.

"Uh… how about Zippy?" He says through gritted teeth, wincing at Steve's inner cry of victory. Dumbass.

Dustin shrugs and turns to the others who look disappointed, some nodding and some shaking their heads. The almost seemed unimpressed. Four narrows his eyes at them. 

"Hey, it's my pet lizard now right? What would you have called him?" 

They all shake their head quickly. 

"It's a really cool name." Max lies. 

"Yeah, not really sure where you came up with Zippy from but, it's alright." Lucas agrees.

"It's kinda lame, but then again, you're kinda lame so..." Mike adds and Four glowers at him, giving him a dry "thanks". 

Joyce’s call for dinner makes everyone hurry to the kitchen.

................

After everyone's gone and it's just Hopper, Jane and Billy and him again, things start winding down as the night draws on. Billy and Hopper speak quietly as they clean up the kitchen while Jane goes to bed. Four is left in the living room with Zippy. Fucking Zippy. The thing looks as if it's asleep, eyes closed, head down and everything. He quietly places the box in the corner of the living room by the television set and hops into the shower, tired and annoyed and just ready to sleep. 

An hour later, after he's done scrubbing himself in cold water, and slipping into bed, Billy joins him. He pretends to be asleep for all of two seconds before becoming annoyed. Billy's lying there, next to him, smelling like a spicy pine forest- apparently he likes Hopper's body wash a little too much- in only his boxers and he's not touching Steve. What the fuck? It's like he's on the edge of the bed, trying to keep as much space between them as possible. His back feels cold and his heart is racing. Was Billy mad about earlier? "Of course he is dumbass! You fucked with his feelings!" Steve snarks from “cranium central.” Four rolls his eyes. 

He turns over and settles on his side to watch the other boy as he lies there, blue eyes wide open. He looks delicate in the soft blue light that's glowing in the room through the window. Those long, pretty lashes flutter slowly as he blinks, his bright red lips wet from chewing on it restlessly and swiping his tongue over the damage. Four can see the sharp outline of the boy's cute nose, his jaw, his neck... that fucking Adams's apple. He can almost hear Steve sigh with abject longing and want. Billy Hargrove was just as pretty as he thought Steve was. Two fucking pretty boys alone in a dark room, on a bed. And Billy wasn't even paying attention to him.

"Hey." Four whispers, scooting closer to him, practically draping his arms and legs over that toned and muscled body like an octopus. He rests his head on Billy's pillow, nose tickling the boy's neck as he slowly exhales. Billy grunts softly but still doesn't move, doesn't even look at him. Just keeps staring at the ceiling. Four frowns but doesn't give up. He’s a persistent motherfucker.

"I... I didn't mean to make you upset." He murmurs, planting a kiss on Billy's neck. The boy flinches but doesn't say anything. Instead he takes Steve's hand, the one on his chest, and brings it to his lips. Four sighs peacefully as Billy kisses his palm, holding the hand to his lips when he was done. Four moves his thumb finger a little and presses it to Billy's lips. He whimpers quietly when the appendage is nicked playfully between Billy's teeth, his tongue swiping gently across the bitten skin. Billy then sighs, as if he's ready to talk and moves Steve's hand to his chest, their fingers still intertwined. 

"M'not upset. Not anymore." He finally responds, his voice, a low timbre that vibrates in his chest against their joined hands. Both Four and Steve almost cry in relief. 

"Then don't sleep so far away from me." He whines, sounding like a petulant little child. Billy scoffs softly, shaking his head as he fixes his body closer to Steve's. He turns on his side to mirror the brunette and slides his hands under the blanket to pull Steve's leg higher over his waist. He freezes.

"Are you naked?" 

His voice drops octaves lower, if that was even possible and he gazes at Steve with a fiery heat in his darkened eyes. Four squirms under the blistering attention and nods timidly, biting his lip. He feels the large, warm hand sliding up and down his smooth thigh until it slides up again and rests on his butt. He can hear Steve moaning inside his head and so he moans too. Billy kisses him then, swallowing up his moan and any other sounds that come out of his mouth so that now he's a melting mass of throaty whimpers and whines. They kiss and it's dirty. Billy's tongue invades his mouth and tangles with Steve's tongue, both fighting for dominance and Four lets him win. His lips are already tingling and swollen and he fucking loves the feeling. 

They pull apart for some much needed oxygen and Billy traces his wet lips with his fingers. He strokes Steve's ruined hair but ignores the anger he feels towards it in favour of admiring how beautiful his boy still looks in the silver moonlight. 

"You're beautiful." 

His voice is a deep rasp over the whispery silence in the room and Steve blushes, pressing their chests together, moaning at the friction. He gets lost in Billy's kisses again and suddenly they're moving together, in the same motions, like silky waves against each other. Billy's cock feels warm and solid in his boxer and Steve positively dies from oversensitivity as it rubs against his naked shaft. Four feels Billy's rough hands on his waist now, pulling him on top, practically straddling him. Four wastes no time with niceties and starts grinding his body down on Billy's hard cock. 

"Steve..." Billy moans and Four ignores it, sliding down the boy's body to slip off his boxers, exposing that thick, long column of glistening flesh. The head is already wet with precome and it's driving him wild. Billy was completely smitten by Steve Harrington. He looks up at Billy from his position at the edge of the bed and puts on a show for him; sticking out his tongue, his mouth wide open, dragging the wet appendage over the hot shaft. He moans at the salty taste and does it again. Torturously.

"Suck it baby... uhn, c'mon, swallow it down." Billy groans, reaching his hands into Steve's hair and pulling firmly on the brunette locks. It's rough, forceful and demanding. And Four fucking loves it. He obediently swallows the cock down to the hilt, burying his nose in Billy's pelvic bone, his choked moan sending delicious vibrations on the hard flesh. Billy thrusts up experimentally into his mouth, grunting harshly as he feels the boy's throat convulse around him. 

Steve dry heaves as if he's about to throw up but then swallows like he's drowning. He pulls off momentarily, jacking Billy's slicked up cock in his soiled hand, peering down at him with low, heavy lidded eyes, gasping and moaning, spit and precome dripping down his lips and neck. Billy almost fucking blows his load and has to sit up quickly, grabbing Steve by his hair and pulling him in for another sultry kiss. 

His grip is still tight in Steve's hair when he slips two fingers in the boy's mouth. Four moans around the intrusive things, his tongue sliding against them and in between them. Billy holds the back of his neck and pushes the fingers deeper until he's fucking his throat with it, Steve moaning like a whore at the sensations. 

"Uh! Billy please..." He wails and Billy has to pull his fingers out and cover the boy's mouth with his whole palm. 

"Shh baby boy. Don't want Chief Hopper waking up and finding us like this now do you?" He rumbles, a dangerous glint in his steel blue eyes. Steve lets out a tiny sob before shaking his head. 

"Good." 

When his fingers are wet enough, Billy bends Steve over on all fours, face down, ass up. Four bites into the pillow hard when he feels Billy's fingers slide inside of his hole, rubbing soothingly against the clenching muscle. Steve is practically wailing in his fucking head and he wants to cry from all the sensations in his body. 

"There we go." Billy sighs, fucking Steve with his fingers, stretching him out. His cock is twitching hard, desperate to be enveloped in that tight wet heat that he's missed so much. He lowers his head and licks a wet stripe up and down Steve's pink hole, between his two fingers. His hips jerk up hard at the feeling and he muffles his low and long sob into the pillow, burying his face in the thing as Billy continues to lick him open. The wet, sloppy sounds of his hole on Billy's tongue and fingers are filthy and vulgar and Steve pushes his ass further back on the fucking tongue, desperate for more friction. 

"I want you in me... uhghmmm, Billy. I want you in me now." He begs, his voice a pathetic moaning cry. 

Billy listens however and grabs him by the hips, thrusting against him a couple times. Then he gets off the bed, making Steve whine and reach out for him but he grabs the boy by his hair again. 

"I want you to ride me." He growls in Steve's ear as he settles himself back on the bed, leaning against the pillows, eyes stalking Steve like a hawk. He strokes his cock while he watches Steve struggle to get up on all fours, looking like a goddamn young fawn struggling to stand. He waits patiently, stroking his wet cock as the pretty brunette crawls over him, knees on either side of his waist. He feels Steve grab his cock, trying to position it at his wet, stretched hole but his movements are sloppy. 

"Hey." He whispers, grabbing Steve's face in his hands. 

"Look at me sweetheart." 

Dark and tearful doe-eyes blink up obediently at him and he finds himself getting lost in them. They look like pools of dark bourbon whiskey and Billy just wants to swim in them. He wipes at the tears that have spilled down his boy's pretty face and kisses him gently on the lips. It was easy to forget that Steve had been through a terrible trauma when the boy was acting so desperate and sex-crazed in bed. And Billy had almost fallen into that noose again but he realized that he needed to slow things down a bit, or else Steve was going to regress. Bad. 

"B... Billy..." He keens, rolling his hips down on the hard cock rubbing against his ass. The friction was too much. He needed something inside him. 

"Shh, it's okay princess. I'm here, I've got you." He coos gently in the boy's ear, intertwining his right hand with Steve's left and using the other one to help guide his cock into that wonderful heat of Steve's hole. He remembers being Steve's first in there, so he goes easy, sliding in with slow, gentle movements. Four feels himself slide down halfway on the thick cock and his hips jerk involuntarily. 

"Easy- …easy babe." Billy rasps in his ear, kissing it as he holds Steve around the waist tight, preventing him from pushing down and hurting himself. Four whines impatiently. This delicious torture is completely new to him and he fucking wants more. He feels Billy trail hot, wet kisses down his cheeks, his neck, his chest and his nipples, which he suckles gently on. 

"Oh fuck." He gasps, arching his back at the feel of a wet tongue and teeth tugging firmly in his nipples. He can feel Billy chuckling against him, warm puffs of breath against his sensitive skin. While he's occupied with that, Billy takes the time to slide inside his boy all the way. The wonderful heat that sucks him in makes him want to cry. Steve cries out instead and he has to kiss the boy hard to make him quiet. 

"Shh baby. I know... I know it hurts." He soothes him, gently stroking his hair. Whether they'd done this already or not, penetration always hurt a little and Billy knew he would have to be gentle with Steve for a bit. His time would come when he'd just want to fuck Steve like some cheap whore he'd picked up at a corner but for right now, going slow and gentle was what his boy needed. Steve buries his face in Billy's neck and sobs quietly through the whole thing. He's up on his knees again when Billy slips out, only to slide in deep again. 

"Oh fuck...." He moans, arching his back as he lifts his hips a little before dropping back down on the hard shaft. 

"That's it... take your time sweetheart. Fuck... yeah." Billy groans encouragingly, hands gripping the boy's hips hard. His thumbs are practically digging into the soft flesh there and it's inevitable that Steve's body is going to be bruised to hell tomorrow. But fuck tomorrow, Billy thinks. He has his princess now and he's going to fuck his princess until he forgets about that stupid place just for tonight. 

Steve starts rolling his hips in tandem with Billy's thrusts and their breathing starts to pick up. Steve's riding Billy hard, intertwining both of their hands now as Billy gazes up at the boy of his dreams. He was pretty sure the first time they'd fucked, he'd been totally mind-blown that he'd even gotten a chance to be with the prettiest boy in Hawkins. And now, here they were again. Steve fucking Harrington; messing with his goddamn orbit again. Steve moans out at a particularly harsh thrust from Billy but the other boy is lost in how pretty Steve looks bouncing up and down on his dick. His low timbred growls and grunts are over-toned by Steve's much higher pitched gasps and moans. 

"Fuck baby... ride it. Fucking ride me." Billy growls, feeling his stomach coiling already. Steve starts riding him even harder, untwining their fingers and slapping a hand over his pretty little mouth to stop from screaming out in pleasure as Billy's cock fucks straight into his prostate, making his body writhe like a snake. Billy slams his eyes shut, meeting Steve's hips with hard and sharp thrusts of his own. The bed creaks a little but not loud enough to wake Hopper or Jane. Billy groans low in his throat at the thought of the Chief walking in the room to see Steve, sweet, golden boy of Hawkins, bare naked and riding Billy- a second class degenerate from the cursed Cali- like a slut. That would definitely be a scene.

"Baby!" Steve whimpers, biting his lips hard to stop from being so fucking loud. 

"Yeah princess, I'm here- fuck I'm- right, here." He grunts out, leaning up and cradling Steve against him. 

"I'm... uhn... I'm close... please." The boy sobs against his hair, fingers gripping on the blonde curls hard. Billy kisses his shoulder reassuringly before gripping him around the middle.

"Wrap your legs around me." He orders huskily and Steve mindlessly obeys, folding those long, beautiful legs around his waist. Billy grunts hard as he lifts them both and then lays Steve down on his back. Steve looks up at him with those huge fucking doe-eyes full of trust and love and pleasure... And something else and he slides into the boy again. 

"Ohmygodmm..." Steve can't even form full sentences and Billy quickly kisses him before his weak cry carries throughout the whole cabin. He can feel the heels of Steve's feet dig into his lower back as he thrusts again. His hips pick up a quicker pace as he feels his insides tightening. Steve gazes up at him, his pretty mouth agape, like he's about to-

"Fuck! Bil- uh! I'm cuh! Uhn!" Billy has to fucking devour Steve's mouth and press on his throat a little to keep his boy from wailing out like he's getting raped. He ends up making a really cute squeaking noise. Billy's heart races as he glances at the door to hear if Steve's near-scream had woken up the Chief. Steve's still shuddering and squirming under him as he cums, a small splash of white on his pale belly. Billy's eyes take in the sight and it triggers his own climax. He takes his hands off of Steve, kissing the boy's throat -that he'd almost pressed too heavily on- in apology. Steve doesn't mind it though; he's too busy being boneless, his weak legs slipping from around Billy's waist as the boy starts cumming inside of his sore hole. 

"Fuck! Babe, m'cumming." Billy grunts in Steve's ear harshly as he thrusts his hips harder. Steve gasps with every rough thrust, reaching out his hands to hold on to Billy as he feels the hot spurts of cum fill him. His own spent dick twitches at the sensation and he smiles drunkenly at the boy on top of him. 

"Oh fuck, princess." Billy sobs out, burying his face in the boy's neck. His breathing is laboured and Steve can feel every inhale and exhale of his chest against him. He holds Billy's face in his hands and kisses him deep, their tongues playing with each other again. It's beautiful and intimate and Billy's still inside him. He giggles like a virgin at the thought. 

"What's so funny pretty boy?" Billy breathes out, still trying to catch his breath. His arms wrap around Steve's sweaty body tightly, protectively. God, he didn't know how much he missed his princess until a few moments ago. He feels Steve's fingers run through his now damp blonde mess of curls and it's bliss. It's home and fuck his stupid emotions for making a few tears slip down his face. Steve's little whisper is a comforting sound. 

"Billy, are you alright?" 

And his voice sounds too kind and too caring; much too concerned for him so he cries some more. He wants to tell Steve that he doesn't deserve him. That he doesn't feel worthy of this moment right here. That Steve has a heart of gold and he's possibly the most precious thing Billy has ever had... or held. And that he's sorry because he causes pain wherever he goes and he's hurt Steve in ways that he can never fix. 

But the words don't come out. 

Only silent tears.

Steve doesn't question it though; just holds him tighter and kisses him sweetly...

Showing him exactly why he didn't deserve him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Classes start back soon, so I hope I finish this fic before that because final year is a lot of work. P.S. Did y'all watch the CCAs? David won!!! <3


	19. This Love Triangle Left Us In A Wreck-Tangled

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Normalcy is a joke after all the crap they've all had to deal with recently. But Billy had hope. And as usual, the rug gets ripped from under him. Steve is holding on to the last strand of hope he has left, even as Four grows stronger. And Jane isn't scared. She's ready to take on the unknown.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I took so long; been busy. Anyway, enjoy.

This Love Triangle Left Us In A Wreck-Tangled 

 

Hopper knew this day would come so he tried hard not to be too dramatic about it. But it didn't mean he couldn't feel a twinge of sadness as he helped Billy and Steve pack up whatever little they'd had at the cabin. Life had to go on, and both boys had school and assignment obligations. He'd just gotten used to his house being full of chatter and excitement and joy with Jane and the two boys. He could see it on Jane's face as she piled into the backseat of his Chevy. The abject sadness... and something else. 

"Alright, is that it?" He asks as Billy comes out, holding Steve's bag. He'd insisted on it, not wanting Steve to exhaust himself. Steve looked severely annoyed but he let Billy be chivalrous anyway. 

"Yeah, I think so." Billy responds, his demeanour jilted and a bit sad too. Steve's eyes widen suddenly as if he's just remembered something.

"Shit! Hold on- I forgot Zippy!" He exclaims, running back to the cabin. Billy chuckles, shaking his head as Hopper joins him, totally amused. He helps Billy load the bags into the vehicle, quite aware of the sigh the kid heavily exhales as he turns his back. He turns back to him.

"You good?" 

His question, though cautious, is knowing; like he's asking something more. Billy nods but the uncertainty is clear in his downcast eyes. 

"Yeah... I am. Just worried about him." He answers nodding back to the cabin where Steve seems to be lost- seriously how long does it take to find a bearded lizard? Hopper grunts in understanding, folding his arms out of habit.

"Well, he's got that evaluation with Owens on Thursday. Everything will be settled then. Just, maybe keep a close eye on him at school." He pauses for a while, looking out into the forest distractedly. God, he wants a fucking smoke right now. He doesn't want to upset the kid but he just has to make sure. 

"You gonna be okay?" 

The silent "with Neil" is a given and Billy doesn't deflect from it, though he winces a little. 

"I'll be fine. Can't believe I'm saying this but, it might just actually be a relief to go back to school." He jokes weakly, earning an equally weak laugh from Hopper. 

"I get that, kid. After all this crazy, demodog business. And after all that happened with... Brenner and the lab- some normalcy would be refreshing. Being stupid kids again is exactly what everyone needs right now." 

"But not too stupid." He tacks on as Steve comes bursting out of the cabin with Zippy's box in his hands, grinning brilliantly. The sun hits his face just right and the golden glow lights up his pretty eyes a golden whiskey and his still-beautiful hair, vibrant and shiny chestnut. Billy feels his heart stop a little in his chest- Jesus, this fucking guy. If Hopper notices the completely head-over-heels look on his face, he doesn't say anything about it. 

"Found your lizard I see." 

Steve smiles at the Chief, nodding earnestly. 

"He'd gotten out of the box and was hiding under the couch." He answers, shuffling into the truck as Hopper opened the door for him. Billy just rolls his eyes fondly, getting into the passenger's side. 

Hopper didn't want to appear suspicious or intrusive because however Steve dealt with the PTSD from his experiences back at the lab was totally his business- but something about him was off. Call it his police intuition or his own experiences in dealing with trauma, but he wasn't quite certain how someone who'd gone through so much torture, almost dying in fact, could bounce back so... easily. He wasn't stupid, of course it was weird. Not wanting to talk about it was one thing, but completely disregarding it as something in the past wasn't normal either. Steve looked way too... unfazed. 

He remembered how inhuman the boy had looked back when they'd rescued him from the lab. His eyes were blood red and reptilian-like. His skin had been white like dried bones; marble pale and coarse like paper to the touch. He didn't even know who they were when he'd turned around. It got the Chief thinking, that maybe the kill-code serum reversed the effects Deus ex Machina serum, but not entirely. So, his powers were gone, which was a huge plus, but there was something still lurking inside the boy, waiting to strike. Maybe he was aware of it, or maybe he wasn't. But Hopper knew he'd have to see Owens, before Thursday.

..............

Hopper dropped Billy off first and then Steve, who he'd told to call if anything weird came up. After promising that he would, Four entered his empty house and revelled in the pure silence of being alone. He could hear Steve muttering sadly to himself about his stupid parents and rolled his eyes.

"Hey, shut it Harrington. Nobody cares about your mommy and daddy problems." He grouses and snickers at the "fuck you" Steve sends his way. 

"You can bitch with me all you want, princess. But you're not getting outta that skull of yours."

"I'll get out alright. And you'll be gone. And I told you already- stop calling me that!" Steve argues childishly. Four just keeps looking around the mansion indulgently. 

"Nice digs buddy. Jesus, your parents must be loaded." He remarks absently, passing the lavish kitchen and dining room, traipsing upstairs into Steve's bedroom. His eyes take in the bed with the dark blue comforter, the fluffy white pillows and the rumpled sheets. His brow raises high, looking down at the mess of clothes on the carpeted floor. He flicks on the lamp on the bedside table and takes note of the work desk in the other corner of the room. 

"You know, I wouldn't have guessed you were this messy, being a spoiled little rich brat. Don't you have servants to clean up this mess?" He grins snidely, jumping on the bed and lying down across it with his arms outstretched. It's soft and comfy, just like living in Steve's body. He hears Steve practically gag at the thought. 

"First of all, that's gross... you don't actually live in my body, you're in my mind. And second, I don't have maids. Last time I was in here, I was getting ready for a party." 

"Doesn't make you any less messier, pretty boy." Four taunts, getting up and walking over to Steve's desk. He narrows his eyes at the opened books and eraser dust scattered across the pages. On the wall in front of the desk, he sees pictures of various girls and guys- Steve's school friends he guesses- all smiling and drinking beer. Steve looks happy in them. His hair sure as hell looks way more voluminous and majestic in the images. He notices a picture of the Nancy Wheeler girl and smirks.

"I thought she left you?" He says nonchalantly plucking the picture off the wall and holding it for closer examination. Both Steve and Nancy were laughing at something and their eyes look slightly dazed as if they're drunk. The girl's smile is bright though and Steve's arm is wrapped around her; they look cuddly.

"She did... but we're still close friends." Steve answers quietly, and Four can feel the abject sadness in his tone. The feeling washes over his body and he feels lightheaded for a moment. Shit. What the fuck was that? Apparently Steve notices it too because his voice picks up excitement again.

"Wait- did you just feel that? Did I- ...Four, did I just make you feel sad?" He demands, his sudden change in emotion making Four feel exactly the same thing Steve was feeling. 

"No! I don't know what the hell that was. Don't do it again!" Four hisses poisonously at him. But Steve doesn't let up.

"You did, didn't you?" He exclaims, his voice annoyingly bubbly and ecstatic. Four screws his face up angrily and crumples the picture in his hands. How the hell was Steve conveying his own emotions through him? Then again, it was Steve's body but still- Four's control should have blocked any sort of tangible connection to Steve when he'd grabbed hold of the boy's mind. When that had happened, Steve had automatically taken his place as a mere figment of the hyperactive and imaginative part of his brain- unattached and just drifting. He'd become the alter ego and Four had become the body! 

"It doesn't mean anything Harrington.” Four finally spits, but it's written all over his face; he's panicked. If Steve had that kind of emotional power over him, then he would make him talk- force the secret out of him. And that's something that Four couldn't allow. He can hear Steve practically celebrating his newfound power, his grimace quickly turning into an unwanted grin and he slaps himself in the face. Hard. 

"Ow! Hey, that hurt!" Steve suddenly gasped out in surprise and Four sneers at himself in the dresser mirror.

"Guess it works both ways pretty boy. You play with my emotions and I can hurt you physically." 

He feels his chest deflate as Steve stays silent, his dismay all too potent. They're both vying for control of Steve's body but the physics and the psychology of it all is new and confusing. It's much too abstract and they both can tell it's dangerous territory. If Steve could control Four's emotions and Four could physically inflict pain on Steve, what was really in control of Steve's body? Was it just Four? Or did that responsibility split fifty-fifty? It seemed very unclear. One thing Steve was clear about though; he wasn't going to let Four control him for long.

"Guess we both share custody of my body." He says decisively, his voice giving nothing away. 

Four snorts obnoxiously.

"Maybe we do, but I'm the one in control here. You're just in my head." 

"You're delusional, Four. I'll find a way to get out of here. The others won't be fooled by you for long. Jane's way more powerful than she looks." Steve replies evenly, and Four winces as the boy's determination trickles into his body, making him mirror the confident feeling. Jane. The little freak with powers. He's shaking from the uncertainty, his fingers tapping out an irregular beat on top of the dresser's surface. He shakes his head trying to silence Steve's voice but it only quiets him a little. 

 

"Why now huh?" He suddenly chuckles out loud but it sounds pained, weak and pathetic. Steve falters anyway.

"What?" 

"Why'd you decide to act out now? Huh? You could've easily messed with me- with our emotions when we were in that cabin. With Billy. And with those kids. So why? Why didn't you try to warn them?" 

When Steve doesn't answer, Four nods his head knowingly.

"That's right. It's because you wanted this. You wanted me to take control because guess what, Steven- you can't handle being back in the real world. Not after all that those doctors put you through. Not after those experiments and especially- not after all the humiliation. You needed me, to be the strong one, to make you stronger. Needed me so you didn't have to face your beloved Billy and those kids and let them see you for what you really are. Pathetic. Weak. And useless." 

"No- that's not- that's not true."

He can feel the boy's strength fade a little and it's more than empowering. Steve was just a weak human with a terribly low self-esteem and poor judgement. Four was the part of him that oozed confidence and made him feel all powerful again. Steve never really wanted to escape that lab. Not after everything those people put him through. The humiliation was enough to make him want to end his life- Four isn't faded, he knew exactly when and why Steve had those thoughts. Hell, he'd lived with the guy for what felt like years inside his head. He was bound to know a little something of what kept Steve Harrington up at night. 

"Admit it, Steve. You needed me." 

"No." 

The declaration is weak and broken and Four can feel his face drop in disappointment. 

Steve was second guessing himself. Good. 

"Yes. You can try to run from it all you want, princess. But we both knew you couldn't have looked Billy in the eye yesterday without my help. Couldn't even fuck him without feeling like a worthless piece of crap. And those kids that you adore so much? They're just feeling sorry for you. They don't want you to be their friend. They're all sick of you. The Chief, Billy, the kids, Nancy- hell, she never even liked you before you got messed up. And now it's even worse, because she has Jonathan to keep her warm at night, but you? Billy just wants a warm hole to fuck. He doesn't love you." 

Steve tries his hardest not to take the words to heart. Tries covering his ears and screaming at the top of his lungs. Even tries yelling "no" until he's red in the face but nothing works. He hears every word, every lie and every truth. Everything that Four says is a perfectly concealed nail and every time he opens his mouth and spouts that vitriol, it's another one in Steve's coffin. He could try to dispute it all- but they all have elements of truth to them. In reality, he's not even sure if he would've tried to save him. If Hopper could see just how messed up Steve really was both physically and mentally, he'd never have even considered saving him. Would've just killed him to save everyone the trouble of trying to piece him back together again.

Four had been the perfect buffer between Steve and the real world and he did use the evil son of a bitch to protect himself and the others from seeing just how fucked up he was. That much he was guilty of. And it sucked, because he knew Billy really only felt sorry for him, that's why he'd even stuck around. And the kids... well, the kids had each other and were perfectly fine without him. But like Billy, they'd felt sorry for him too. Nancy didn't love him; that much was true. But it still hurt to hear Four say it out loud. 

An ugly and grotesque smile splits Four's face wide open as he hears nothing but radio silence inside his head. Steve had grown deathly quiet, so much so that Four could have sworn the boy was non-existent. 

 

....................

 

"Bad."

Jim didn't know what to expect when Jane had told him that she needed to talk to him about something. He figured it had something to do with boys and coming of age and all that uncomfortable teenage business since she had recently turned thirteen and had been spending a lot more time with Mike. But like everything else with Jane, it was something far more insane. 

"What's 'bad' Jane?" He asks slowly, feeling deep dread in the pit of his stomach. She sat there on the couch staring into the distance but her eyes were very clear and very present. Her mouth was drawn up in a straight line. 

"Steve. He's... different." 

Hopper frowns at that and sighed, not quite happy to realize that his suspicions had been correct. He wasn't the only one who'd noticed it then. Of course Jane would be the one to spot the little differences and changes in Steve. Not just because of her power but because she was very intuitive. 

"I've noticed it too. Do you know exactly what's wrong with him?" 

Jane shakes her head slowly but then turns to look at him.

"I'm... not sure. But I don't think Steve is... all the way here." She explains cryptically, touching two fingers to her temple as if to show Hopper what she means. He nods.

"Maybe that thing we saw back at the lab, when he closed the Gate- the thing with the pale skin and red eyes is still in him."

Jane nods in agreement. "That was a different Steve." 

It's not a question- it's an observation and it's enough to make Hopper get up off the couch and go to the phone. He hurriedly dials and waits for someone to pick up. It clicks.

"Owens, we have a problem." 

 

..................

The need for some sense of normalcy that Hopper had told him about seemed so foreign now that Billy was back in school. First off, he'd gone home to find a much less aggressive Neil and a happier Susan and Max. That wasn't normal at all. He didn't know what the hell the Chief had said to his father but apparently it was effective. He'd even gotten a, "Don't forget to pick Max up after school, son." Which was shocking since it's always been a name-calling game with the man- with faggot and bitch being his top two favourites. But Billy took it all with a small nod of his head, chip on his shoulder kind of way because Neil was still the scary monster he'd always believed him to be. The rug would get pulled under him sooner or later, he figured.

"Hey Hargrove, where the hell have you been?" 

Billy sighed, slamming his locker shut as Tommy and Carol walked up to him, stupid grins on their faces. For a moment he felt like flipping them off and walking away but then he remembered that they were actually friends before all this stuff with Steve and him and the labs happened. He couldn't just brush them off out of the blue. 

"Suspension for one. Then I decided to take my own vacation for a few days." He answers, douchey grin on his face much like the Billy Hargrove of old. It felt kind of liberating.

"Yeah, I bet that was fun huh? Why the hell didn't you let us in on it though? We would've fucked off to some fucking city, smoking weed all day and getting drunk off our asses all night." Tommy jokes and Billy finds it weird how transparent the boy seems from his changed perspective. He can see straight through the asshole act Tommy puts up, just to impress Carol and to fit in. It's pathetic. But Billy doesn't dare look down on it; a few weeks ago he was the very same person.

"Sorry man, I just- needed a break from this place." He says instead, the books in his hands growing heavy. Carol is staring him down like a hawk, chewing on her bubble gum and twirling a strand of her hair round her finger. 

"It's cool, we get it." She says and Tommy nods, reluctantly. It's cool, Billy doesn't have the time to feel sorry for him or his pride. 

"Yeah, we get you. Harrington on the other hand..." Tommy presses and Billy knew the conversation would end up there somehow. He plays along anyway.

"What's up with him?" He asks nonchalantly as they all walk slowly to English.

"Well, they said he ran away from home." Carol tells him, her voice all scandalous and a bit condescending.

"Oh, yeah I heard about that." He answers quickly, momentarily forgetting that that was the story Hopper had agreed on telling the town. Better to upkeep the lie than to let everyone know the truth about this place. Just like they did with the whole "Barb story". 

"Yeah, typical rich kid bullshit. Has everything he needs and still that's not enough. Has to go running away like a little bitch for validation and attention." 

Tommy sounds disgusted and the way he twists his face makes Billy want to punch it. The glint in his eye only lasts seconds as he reigns in his quickly souring attitude. He's supposed to like this- making fun of Steve. It's his frigging signature move. But Billy just can't find it within himself to, because he knows about all the horrifying shit Steve went through. 

"Yeah." He mutters absently instead. "Yeah, I guess." 

They get to class and to Billy's surprise, Steve is already there, sitting straight to the back, distractedly chewing on his pencil. He looks pale and oddly uncoordinated, in a tight black jeans and a black t-shirt. Billy feels his lower regions tighten a bit at the sight and he has to quickly take his seat two spaces ahead of Steve to calm down. Steve only dressed pretty like that for parties; he usually reserved all of his khakis and preppy pastels for school. Not that Billy was complaining. 

He sat there in the same upright and uptight position, listening to Mr Cameron yap about essays and research papers, dying to turn around and just stare at Steve. But he forced himself to listen to whatever the hell the man was talking about and ignored the boy for the rest of forty agonizing minutes. He saw Tommy and Carol and a few other students turning to look back at the brunette, drama and scandal written all over their stupid faces. Guess they all heard the story of Steve ‘running away’. 

When the bell rang Billy felt Steve brush past him, dropping a piece of paper on his desk. Fuck. His eyes darted around the classroom, making sure no one saw that. But most of them were already outside, Tommy and Carol included. Thank God. He opened the paper and saw Steve's scrappy handwriting all over it in pencil. It said, "Janitor's closet, now." Billy swallowed hard, his cock stirring in his tight blue jeans. Steve either wanted to talk or he wanted some action; Billy could only handle one at the moment. He hastily packed up his books and papers and practically rushed to the meeting point, checking all around him for students or teachers. The halls were mostly empty as everyone had rushed to their next classes- which Steve and Billy should have been doing too, since they had Calculus right after English. Guess not, he thought before slipping into the small space and locking the door behind him. 

"Seriously, I thought you weren't going to come." Steve grumbles out but there's no real heat in his voice. Just sheer impatience. He wraps his arms around Billy's neck and starts kissing him deeply. Billy doesn't even get a chance to defend himself, just gets pulled into the kiss. He hears Steve moan as their tongues dance hotly with each other and he backs Steve up against the shelves, hands slipping under the boy's black t-shirt. Some bottles and a box of nails and other small hardware pieces fall to the ground from the impact of Steve's back hitting the shelves but they don't even notice. They just keep kissing until one of them has to come up for much needed air. 

"The hell's gotten into you huh?" Billy asks Steve lowly, his voice gentle and sweet as he scrapes his nails against the boy's naked skin. 

"I missed you." Steve replies innocently, his own hands clutching at Billy's hips, pulling him closer. Billy grins at him but it's not mocking; just happy.

"I missed you too. Couldn't stop thinking about you all night. Guess I got used to sleeping with you in my arms." He admits, blushing profusely. He's never said anything like that to anyone- ever. It's embarrassing for him but to Steve, it's beautiful and endearing. He pecks Billy in the lips all cute and shit and Billy finds himself chuckling for absolutely no reason. God, he's in love with this boy. 

"Maybe... I dunno, maybe you can come over tonight. And we can... spend some time together." Steve murmurs suggestively as Billy starts kissing his neck. Billy smiles against his jugular and he revels in the warm puffs of air against his skin. 

"You're really just trying to get in my pants aren't you?" The blonde jokes teasingly. 

Steve chuckles but it's more like a liberating laugh. "Yeah, maybe. I can't get enough of you baby." 

Billy groans as Steve starts rubbing at his cock that's steadily hardening and bulging at the crotch of his jeans. 

"Jesus- fuck babe. S'that why you're dressed like that today? Hm? Tight black jeans and an even tighter t-shirt? You want my attention? Is that it?" He rumbles, sucking hard at Steve's neck, bruising it on purpose. Steve whimpers out weakly as Billy thrusts his hips into his crotch, the friction making his skin heated. 

"Yes! Oh God, yeah baby!" He moans, fingers fumbling to unbuckle Billy's leather belt. Billy stops him with a firm hand.

"Steve- babe, mm'stop. We can't do that shit here!" He hisses, groaning in pleasure as Steve unbuckles him anyway, slipping his jeans down along with his boxers. 

"We're not gonna fuck sweetheart. I'm just gonna blow you real good." Steve half whispers and half moans as he gets down on his knees and starts licking and kissing at Billy's exposed cock. It's just downright sinful; the way Steve looks on his knees, eyes closed, mouth wide open servicing his dick like he was born to do just that. His tongue kitten licks at the head indulgently, Steve moaning like a whore at the salty taste of precome. Then without warning, he swallows Billy down until he can feel the other boy deep in his throat. 

"Motherfuck- Steve! Babe! Shit! Mmm, yeah take it. Take it deep." Billy gasps out incoherently, thrusting his cock deeper into his boy's mouth. He runs his fingers through Steve's hair and grips hard, fucking up into the warm, extremely wet heat. Steve champions on, choking and suckling sloppily around the thick shaft, precome and saliva dripping down from his lips, down his chin and his neck. A particularly sharp thrust has him heaving hard and he quickly pulls off, gasping brokenly for breath. 

"M'sorry babe..." Billy murmurs, stroking his tear stained cheeks tenderly but Steve just shakes his head and slips the slick cock back into his mouth. He's desperate for it, sucking hard and choking himself on it. Billy can see the outline of his cock at times, pressing out against Steve's hollowed cheeks and it's fucking hypnotizing. He sucks Billy dutifully until he brings the boy to the brink, the grip in his hair so tight, it makes him tear up. 

"Fuck! Steve- I... uh! I'm close." He rasps harshly, losing all control and just fucking Steve's mouth with abandon until he sees white and he's cumming down his boy's throat. Steve moans out like a whore at the thick warm spurts of salty cum that slips down his throat, swallowing obediently, keeping his pretty brown eyes on Billy's face the whole time. When he's done, he fixes Billy's clothes properly again, zips his jeans up and buckles his belt with shaky hands. 

Billy helps him to his feet and kisses him the moment he's at eye level again. He groans at the taste of his own cum flooding Steve's mouth and goes to unbuckle the boy's belt. But Steve stops him.

"I don't want you to return the favour here. You can do that when you come by later tonight." He says with a cute wink. Billy just shudders against him, burying his nose in Steve's bruised neck. 

"Jesus Christ babe. You're gonna be the death of me." He growls petulantly.

Steve chuckles. 

"Trust me, I wish you could return the favour right now but the bell's gonna ring soon and plus, I have to meet with the school's counsellor before lunch."

Billy frowns. "The school's counsellor? For what?"

"Just a quick evaluation to make sure I don't have thoughts of running away again. Principal Robert's idea." Steve shrugs, rolling his eyes. 

Billy sighs sadly, wrapping Steve up in a tight embrace. 

"Why can't they just leave you alone?" 

Steve smiles, closing his eyes in complete bliss. 

Four was thinking the exact same thing.

 

..................

"I'm afraid the only way to get to Steve would involve... invasive methods." 

Hopper stares at Owens hard, daring him to go on but the man just nervously looks away. They had been discussing strategy all morning at the cabin, Jane hiding away in her room but listening closely with her ear pressed to the door. Hopper had informed the doctor about the issue of Steve and his evil alter ego and as it turns out, Owens' theory hadn't been much different. He'd admitted to coming up with similar conclusions as to why Steve had been acting so... unnatural after they'd rescued him and surmised that the answers they were looking for were back at the lab. Hopper wasn't so sure about that.

"What kind of invasive methods?" He questions, his tone harsh as if he already knew what was coming. Owens hesitated for a bit before choking out a response. 

"Well Jane-" 

"No, try again." Jim immediately interrupts, fixing the man with a withering glare. Owens just stares back at him helplessly. He gets up from the couch, stomping around with his hands on his waist. 

"Jesus Christ Owens! You know what she's been through with that psychokinetic shit. Why the hell would I put her through that again?" 

"I don't know Jim, maybe to save another kid's life?" Owens argues and sighs at the low-brow, incredulous scoff the Chief sends his way.

"Look, if my predictions are right, this thing that's inside Harrington isn't just going to control him. It's going to get stronger. And it's gonna keep getting stronger until it finds another power source like the DEM that it can suck up and use to open the Gate again- and God knows what else it's capable of." 

Hopper curses frustratedly under his breath, taking his hat off and swiping a hand over his head. The silence between them is tense and he doesn't like any of it. Steve's a ticking time bomb and they probably have less than a week to fix him before he blows up and Hawkins finds itself under the looming threat of the Upside Down... again. And not only do they have to try to fix him, they also have to go inside his head to wake him up from whatever deep sleep he's been forced into. Without his evil twin knowing. How the hell were they going to do that? Well, Owens did suggest Jane but no- fuck no. He wasn't going to traumatize his daughter like that. He'd promised her, "no more bad." 

"I'm sorry Jim but that's the only way I know how. I will be able to help cut the unattached consciousness out of Steve and back into the Upside Down. But I need Jane to do that. Without her, his safety isn't guaranteed." 

Owens voice is clear and there's finality in it that makes Jim's stomach churn. He feels sick at the thought of Steve dying and it's the only thought that makes him somewhat agreeable to Owens' plan. Jane was just a kid, but so was Steve and he didn't have that much time left. Arguing would only lessen his chances of survival. His reservations didn't completely go away though. 

"What do you mean his safety isn't guaranteed? What happens if you go in without Jane?" 

"Worst case scenario, he dies. The kid dies Jim. Going in without Jane would mean external input, meaning we'd have to tranquilize him and hook him up to a simulator. His alter ego will be well aware of it and will try to stop us from ripping him from Steve. It's like a parasite you see, and if we tip it off-"

"It'll destroy the body to protect itself." Jim finishes, his voice grave as he pinches the bridge of his nose in frustration. 

"Dammit, fine." He sighs. His arm's twisted and Owens has proven his point. No sense in wasting precious time now.

"Why do we need to go back to the lab?"

Owens shakes his head. 

"They injected him with arsenic... and about six other poisons to test how durable the serum made him. Right now, the only thing keeping him together is that thing. If we go in his head, guns blazing, the kid'll be dead within seconds. If we can find the report Helbig and Brenner had on the boy, it will most likely contain an antidote to purge his body of all the chemicals. We find the antidote, his chances of surviving goes up fifty." 

"I'll do it." 

The solid surety in Jane's voice, as she comes out of her room and confronts the two men, brooks no argument and Jim knows he's got no other choice but to comply. It's one of those moments when he knows he can trust her judgement and he won't stand in the way of it. He's smarter than that. 

 

................

Billy knew Steve was a softie compared to him when it came to basketball. Not that he wasn't a great player, hell- it was Harrington who'd led his team to countless victories when he was King. Billy knew that. But, after all that had happened to Steve, he couldn't help but feel a bit overprotective and responsible. He didn't think he could stomach the sight of the boy getting batted and body-checked on the court when he knew he'd just started recovering from the lab. So he did the stupid thing and decided to cover him, even if they were on opposite sides; Billy being skins and Steve- shirts. 

He blocked a dude from their Chemistry class he'd known as Alex who'd tried to steal the ball from Steve and ended up knocking him flat on his ass. 

"What the hell Hargrove? We're on the same team asshole!" Alex yelled, accepting his hand to get up begrudgingly. Steve gave him a weird side-glance but said nothing. 

"Sorry man." He told Alex, ignoring the sharp reprimand from Coach Bell. 

They started playing again at the sound of the whistle and Billy navigated his game play close to Steve again. He kept the boy within his peripheral and charged, trying to grab the ball but missing, causing Steve's team to score. Again. 

"The hell man?!" Tommy snapped at him and Billy just shook him off. 

"Shut up Tommy." He grumbled, charging again. 

The game went smoothly for all of five minutes until Matt and Steve crashed hard, both falling to the ground, tangled up with each other. Billy didn't even wait for Bell to blow his whistle; he dropped the ball and went to them. 

"Jesus what the hell is going on with you girls today? Alright take five!" Bell hollers, following another teacher out of the gym. 

Billy kneels down on one knee to help Steve up but he shoves him away angrily. Matt grunts and struggles to his feet, kicking Steve in the shin as he did so. Billy narrows his eyes dangerously at him.

"The hell's your problem man?" Steve yells, calling unnecessary attention to them. The whole team starts looking at the commotion with gleeful expressions on their faces. The old Billy might've liked the tension and the spectacle but he wasn't like that anymore. And he was sure Steve didn't like confrontations- usually ran from them. So this was probably just him taking out his frustrations and anger from the lab. And that's precisely what they needed to avoid.

"Calm down Harrington, it was just an accident." He tries to interject, putting a casual hand on his shoulder. He's a bit surprised when Steve smacks it off and steps up to Matt who steps to him too. 

"Listen to Billy Steve. And you bumped into me." Matt grunts, staring down his nose calmly at Steve who is obviously riled up. The thing is; Matt's a jock but he's probably the only one on the team who doesn't act like a mindless moron like the rest of the assholes. He's always been a nice guy and never picked any fights with anyone. So, Billy knows Steve's completely barking up the wrong tree here. 

"Hey, Harrington, I mean it. Walk away." He tries again; and again, Steve roughly shoves him off. 

"Stay outta this Billy!" He snarls getting in Matt's face, regardless of the fact that Matt's at least five inches taller than him. He's a lanky guy but the muscle on him indicates that he's not a fun one to tango with. It's like watching a Chihuahua square up with a goddamn Pitbull. Steve shoves Matt in the chest hard and the guy stumbles back. He glares up at Steve and punches his lights out before Billy can do anything. 

"Holy shit!" Tommy commentates, cackling as Steve goes crashing hard onto the floor. All the guys gather round the scene and Billy's really trying his hardest not to get too involved but Steve is up on his feet again, clocking Matt across the cheek. He grabs Steve round the middle and drags him away from Matt who's currently spitting out blood. 

"Get off me!" Steve snarls and it shouldn't have been shocking but Billy still felt some type of way as he collected a hard punch to the jaw. Surprisingly it's Matt that comes to his defence and pulls Steve off of him. He sees Matt put Steve in a headlock and the other boys cheering him on. Tommy gets in Steve's face, sneering.

"Well well well, looks like somebody has anger issues. That why you ran away Steve? Huh? Can't get attention from mommy and daddy so you're lookin' for it here? Huh?" 

The slap he issues to Steve's face echoes loudly in the gym and Billy rushes over, standing between them, his hands pushing Tommy back.

"Back the hell off man! Matt, let him go!" 

Billy couldn't believe he was being the only reasonable one right now. Jesus, Steve really needed to calm the fuck down. He was scrabbling against Matt's arm, nails digging bloody grooves into the strong arm around his neck. Suddenly Matt cries out and when Billy looks down, Steve's out of the hold and Matt's arm is fucking broken. The gym goes into shocked silence then; the only sound echoing is Matt's wheezing sobs through his clenched teeth. 

“Fuck- my arm!”

Billy stands there with the rest of them, mouth agape and his eyes wide in horrified shock. Steve was glaring back at him, standing over Matt who is curled up in pain, clutching his arm. The chilling thing that stops Billy in his tracks is the smile on Steve's face. His pretty brown doe-eyes don't look so innocent anymore, and they look red in the dark shadows of his pale face. He doesn't even look remotely like Steve right now. 

“What the hell…” Tommy whispers, stepping back cautiously. 

"Steve..." Billy breathes out, holding a cautious hand out. 

Steve just grins at him and then steps over a squirming Matt, pushing past the gym doors hard, the loud bang echoing in the quiet gym. He stands there a bit fucking confused before running out after the boy, Coach Bell calling after him as he rushes past the doors. The team could tell him about Matt's arm. He needed to find Steve. Fast- ...and ask him- 

He sees Steve stomping all the way to his locker down the school hallway. He has to run up to catch his attention. And even then Steve doesn't even acknowledge his presence.

"Steve!" 

The locker slams open, books and papers falling out as the boy roots around for whatever the fuck he's looking for. Billy grits his teeth and digs his nails into Steve's arm hard and spins him around.

"What?!" 

He blinks. He's never heard Steve scream that viciously before. Something was wrong. He takes a deep breath and tries to calm down. One of them has to be. Otherwise this is just going to turn into another screaming match between them. 

"Steve, what's going on with you? You just broke Matt's arm. And smiled." 

Steve sneers at him nastily. 

"He asked for it." 

Billy folds his arms, leaning against the cool metal of the lockers, considering Steve as he starts picking up the fallen books and papers from the floor, slamming them back into his locker- car keys in hand. He's drenched in sweat but his skin is pale, almost paper white. His jaw is set firmly and there's a prominent vein in his forehead that's twitching uneasily. His eyes are now a reddish brown whiskey colour. It's still not normal. 

"No, he didn't. You picked a fight." Billy says quietly. Steve growls and slams his locker shut, sending tremors through the other lockers. Billy flinches. 

"You’re taking his side? Huh? I thought you of all people would have my back! He pushed me Billy! Whether you believe it or not." 

He starts walking away and Billy reaches a gentle hand out.

"Steve wait-" 

The second time he slaps Billy in the face is definitely uncalled for and Billy can only hold his burning cheek and stare at the boy he loves so much with misty eyes. Steve pauses for a second, looking apologetic. He stops and his shoulders drop in defeat. The aggressiveness leaves his body but the anger and irritation is still on his face. 

"You're pushing me, Billy. You don't- ...you can't... I can't control myself." He grunts out, fist clenching around the keys, digging deliciously into his palm.

"So what? You're gonna break my arm too? I'm just trying to help you Steve." Billy chokes out, his voice tight with emotion. His hands are clenching at his sides and Steve can see the red handprint on his cheek. 

"Well I don't need your help. In fact, I don't need you. Just stay away from me." 

Billy's face just falls in utter disappointment but he doesn't let a damn tear slip past his eyes. 

"I know what you've been through. It was fucking terrible. But you can't face this on your own- just, just let me help you. Please." 

Steve laughs in his face and it's possibly the most hurtful thing he could ever do to Billy. 

"You're no hero Billy. Don't try to save me. I'm dealing with this shit just fine. You and everybody else just fuck off- I'm not some damsel in distress."

"I don't buy it. Something's wrong and you're not telling me." Billy growls at him. 

"Then you're delusional. Just because your Dad is abusing you doesn't mean you get to project your bullshit emotional problems onto me. Deal with your own issues, man. Cos I’m fine. I'm going home. Don't bother coming by tonight."

Billy doesn't have a response for that and just stands there, devastated as Steve stomps down the hall and out the door. He's good at that. Walking away. But Billy doesn't know what the hell to do with himself as he finally feels the tears spill. He wipes furiously at them, chest constricting painfully for some damn reason. Steve had never stooped that low before- in any of their arguments. That just wasn't him. Or maybe that was him, and it just took those experiments to show his true colours. 

No. 

No. His Steve would’ve never said something so nasty to him. His Steve was a sweetheart who wouldn't dare hurt anyone just for fun. After all, he'd taken care of those kids when they were fighting those demodogs. And he'd let Nancy go because he realized that she'd be happier with Jonathan. He'd even visited him in the hospital everyday even when he didn’t have to. He still had 'Deadeye Dick' lying in his car somewhere. It had to be something that Matt or Tommy said to trigger him like that. It had to. His eyes looked weird and his whole demeanour seemed off. 

That wasn't his Steve. 

Billy wipes the stupid tears from his face before trudging back to the gym with his head hung low. 

That was not his Steve.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title taken from Eminem and Ed Sheeran's River. Jesus that song is the collab of the century. I've started another fic that's basically Steve/Billy/JimHopper. Y'all can check out that here --> https://archiveofourown.org/works/13380576


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